What was that?!

For years I sold or serviced mats, mops, cleaning supplies, anything to do with cleanliness, and my company always prided itself on it's wonderful processes and procedures.

"We aren't always the cheapest, but we're the best!", we would tell customers.

"We may be a little bit more expensive, but hey, you get what you pay for!", was one of our favorite slogans.

"Our cleaning process is the best in the business. You're mats are put through a thorough sterilization, cleaning, and inspection process before they're delivered to you by our professional service representatives. So they come back clean,on time, at the right time, every time." was another marketing slogan.

What that really meant was. "we wash your stuff, hope we get all the crap off of it that YOU LEFT ON IT, roll it up and send one of our drivers out to you if he hasn't been involved in an accident because he was talking on his cell phone, or stoned, while operating our vehicle."

So it was important to check every sales sample before we left the warehouse because we never new what kind of shit was going to be on a towel, mat, mop, or even soap dispenser. All the warehouses I worked in, were either located in the inner city, in a bad neighborhood, or out in the middle of nowhere, where no one wanted to commute, and dental hygiene was not a priority for many of the employees. In either case, the chance for a production slip up was always a possibility. Don't get me wrong, my partners in production were great but sometimes things would "slip through the cracks".

As a manager, I would go with reps on what we termed "Target Account" calls because I had more experience most of the time, and usually big company buyers want the respect of having some stupid manager with the rep. Half the time these purchasing people were trained to be jerks, so if the rep brought a jerk of his/her own along (ME), then it balanced out the power in the sales call. Jerk = Jerk, and you have equilibrium.

In this particular case my rep Kenny, needed me to go with him to call on a large, local super market chain. It was approximately 20 stores in Southern California and represented a great deal of money for us if we got it. Kenny was extremely nervous about the account, since he had never presented or even talked to an account of this size before. The process for Target Accounts was always longer and involved many meetings, so I told him:

"Don't sweat it. Just make sure you have all your samples ready. This will just be a meet and greet. Ya know, question and answer session? We need to find out what they really want in a service. The hard part comes later." , I told him and boy was I right about that.

"Cool. Cool. I'm just a little nervous is all.", he said as we grabbed our stuff and got into his car, "Not used to accounts this big."

"You'll do fine. Did you check and make sure all our samples are good?"

"Yep. We're good", he said and I was confident he knew what he was talking about. Bad move on my part.

We went to the account, and I was under the impression we were meeting with a junior buyer, or a purchasing associate, but it turned out we were meeting with the Head of Purchasing, Dave, and his assistant, Tammy. I wasn't sure if Kenny was prepared for this type of call. Or if I was even prepared, so we did a quick pre-call plan in the car on the way to the meeting to ensure our success.

The corporate offices were located in a seedy little section of LA off of Santa Monica Boulevard. It was the original store and the family had decided to keep it's headquarters there for sentimental value. Not a great idea, since the store was now covered on one side with graffiti, and the neighborhood was crawling with drug addicts. Mostly "tweekers", or people who do crystal meth, speed, etc. The type of druggies you see scratching themselves all the time in front of convenience stores in the California Desert, asking for change. I assumed this particular store's biggest selling items were Coke and candy bars, staples of a drug addled diet. I tried not to touch anything as we walked through the main entrance and towards the offices which were in the back.

Surprisingly the inside of the store were really nice, and it was very, very clean. I could see why people would want to shop for groceries here, and was happy when an administrative assistant spotted us and led us up some stairs to the company's corporate offices. She led us down a hallway and into a conference room with a long beautiful mahogany table, nice chairs, and a beautiful High Definition television positioned perfectly on the far wall. As we waited, Kenny and I salivated at the sight of the HD TV which must have been at least 60 inches.

"Be nice to watch the Super Bowl on that thing.", Kenny said, and I just grunted approval. Men are weird about electronics, it's the same for women and make up. There's an almost primal connection for both sexes to these particular types of consumer goods.

The Head of Purchasing, Dave, came out and greeted us with his assistant Tammy, who was an incredibly pretty blonde girl, with enormous breasts, which she displayed prominently in a low cut, tight fitting, blouse. She was tall, and beautiful, an obvious tool for Dave to use to distract reps and get a better deal for his company. Kenny just stared at her chest and didn't even acknowledge her face or Dave's extended hand, while I on the other hand tried to stay focused. It was difficult but I took a seat near Dave while Kenny was transfixed and said very little.

Dave began the call by explaining he and Tammy had very little time, and that he'd like to see what we were offering with our pricing immediately. This was a ploy to get us to spill our guts, but I handled the request with a few questions to find out what they needed first. Meanwhile, I think Kenny was in sensory overload, first by Tammy's beauty and secondly the size of the HD television; because he was nearly catatonic. For the first 15 minutes of the call he said nothing.

As I continued with the call, asking questions of Dave, and waiting for his guarded responses. (Again, purchasing people are trained to be this way) I sensed Kenny slowly coming out of his reverie and averting his eyes from Tammy's chest. In fact, at one point he even asked a question, "What chest...I mean what best describes a company you would do business with?"

"I guess a company that offers us something unique.", was Dave's answer.

Suddenly, as if Dave had slapped him, Kenny stood up quickly and said, "I think we have just what you need. Let me show you." He walked quickly over to our samples and grabbed a rolled up mat. He was smiling and walking, as he looked at both Dave and Tammy, obviously beaming now with confidence. He really looked like the "cat that ate the canary".

"We offer unique logo mats. Mats where we can even put a picture of your store on the mats and they won't wash off. The colors and image are woven into the fabric, so it stays that way for the life of the mat!", he spoke with such enthusiasm, he could hardly contain himself. He held the mat in one hand and worked at rolling the rubber band off of it in order the spread it out on the floor or even on the table. Keep in mind only the rubber back of the mat was exposed and so the logo was not visible to anyone, including myself. Our company rolled them this way to protect the logo and carpeting from wearing out early.

Kenny set the rolled up mat on the table, and with one hand he held the end, while with the other hand he slowly rolled the mat out on the conference table in order to expose the beautiful logo. Or what he thought was a beautiful logo. As he slowly rolled the mat out on the table, a detailed picture of a car was slowly being revealed to all of us. But as he got to the end of the mat all of the sudden a little brown mouse popped out from the unrolled portion and leaped onto the mat! It scurried across the table and onto the floor so fast none of us had time to react. We all jumped back in surprised and frightened.

"What the hell was that?!", Dave shouted and jumped back.

"A mouse, it was a mouse!", his assistant Tammy shouted and jumped up from her chair looking for the mouse as she leaped up and down screaming, " A mouse, a mouse!", she was so hysterical her breasts nearly popped out of her blouse.

Kenny and I were equally surprised and needed to act quickly to resolve the situation, but he seemed transfixed by the site of Tammy jumping up and down, and did not move from his chair. In fact, I was the only one who reacted. I leaped up from my chair and held my arms out, as if I was guarding the mouse in a basketball game.

"Where did it go?", I shouted and stepped back slowly from the table.

"It's under the table.", Dave answered. "You can't let that thing into the store, we'll be sighted by the Health Department." He also stepped slowly away from the table.

"What do you want me to do Dave?"

"Catch it you idiot. Before Tammy has a heart attack, and before it gets into the store!", he yelled, while his assistant continued to jump up and down screaming. Her performance kept Kenny transfixed. He never moved, just watched her jumping and jiggling.

I moved slowly so I wouldn't disturb the mouse and noted that the conference room door was closed; I figured it had to be in the room. Tammy continued to scream until Dave shouted at her, "Tammy shut up. You're going to scare it!". She stopped jumping up and down and shouting. Kenny immediately came to his senses.

"Where is it?", he said and got up slowly from his chair.

"I don't see it anywhere I said. I think it might be under the table."

All four of us backed away from the table and looked underneath to try and spot the mouse. Since it was brown and the carpet was tan, this task was nearly impossible. We all moved slowly looking intently, even Tammy, who was shaking and visibly frightened.

"I see it.", said Kenny and he moved slowly towards a corner of the room, "It's in the corner. Nobody move."

" I see it too.", I said and then Dave confirmed it's position, "Me too.", he said. You could spot this little brown ball over in the corner. It's black eyes looking out as it moved back and forth trapped.

" I don't wanna look.", his assistant added and tried to look away but she couldn't.

" Tammy just stay still don't move. Kenny I'll try to get it to move towards you and you try to grab it.", I said.

"What the hell do I grab it with?", he answered.

"Throw the mat on top of it and then maybe we can get a jar or something to get it out of here."

"Good idea. Just cover it.", Dave added. "Then we can figure out what to do with it."

"Just don't kill it.", Tammy interjected. "It's just a little mouse."

"Okay. Okay. We'll try not to. I'm gonna move towards you Kenny grab the mat."

"Got it.", Kenny held the mat like a net, crouching, as if he was going to cast it over the mouse as it ran away.

I stepped towards the mouse and it bolted following, along the walls of the room. Kenny rushed after it while it moved around the room quickly. Hunch over while he moved, he was so focused on covering the mouse that he ran forward with the mat trying to cover it, and straight into Tammy's chest. He bounced off of her breasts, tried to grab them to prevent his fall and then he fell back onto the carpet with the logo mat flying into the air and Tammy screaming. The mouse, frightened by the noise made a mad dash for the door, and Dave seeing his only chance to stop the rodent from getting into the store grabbed a large, bound, report on the table and threw it on top of the mouse. It landed with a resounding thud on the floor.

"Got him!", he shouted, "I'm pretty sure I got him. He's under that blue binder." He stood over the binder, I was in the corner of the room, Kenny was on the ground, and Tammy was standing over him.

"Oh gross!", Tammy yelled.

"What did you want me to do. He would've got into the store.", Dave responded.

"Not that. Him. He grabbed my breasts", she said and pointed at Kenny who was still on the ground, but sitting up now.

"It was an accident.", he exclaimed and this time he was right. She was so tall he wasn't paying attention to her and he had run face first into her chest. I don't think he had intended to do so, but he didn't seem unhappy with the outcome.

"Yeah I don't think he was trying to do that Tammy. He was trying to catch the mouse.", I interjected. Dave nodded in agreement. Kenny go to his feet and sat in one of the empty chairs.

"Either way, he still grabbed my breasts. Uggh...I feel violated.", she looked at Dave.

"Sorry about that. It wasn't intentional. I was falling backwards and the mouse startled me.", Kenny reiterated his point. Tammy wasn't listening, she was glaring at Dave.

"Tammy I'm sure it wasn't intentional. But guys I think the meeting is over. We need to get this cleaned up, and frankly I think we're all too startled to continue. Leave your cards and I'll contact you later for a proposal."

"Sorry about all this.", I said, "We'll pick up all of our stuff, but I'd like to reschedule if possible."

"Sure.Sure. Call me Monday next week.", Dave said obviously still stunned. He smiled a little. " But just you, not him", he said and pointed at Kenny.

"That's fine.", he said, "I understand. But please understand all that was an accident. We don't normally have mice in our mats."

"Ha ha. I know. Let's just get past this and get back to work.", Dave said.

"Got it. Thanks." , I said. Kenny moved slowly out of his chair and towards his samples. Tammy moved away from him and towards the door.

"Dave, are we done here? I'm just gonna go to my office. That was the craziest thing I've ever seen. I was accosted by a rat, and a mouse was squashed in front of me.", she said, shot Kenny a dirty look, and headed out the door.

"Sure. We'll talk in a few minutes. I need to escort these guys out, before they leave else here like a cockroach or a rat."

"Very funny Dave.", she left and headed down the hallway.

"Don't worry, she'll be fine.", he said, "follow me guys."

Kenny and I grabbed our samples, shook Dave's hand, and said "thank you"; he led us out of the Conference Room, down the stairs, and back into the neighborhood of drug addled street urchins. I told him I would call him on Monday, knowing full well he would not take my call, and we loaded up Kenny's care with our sample products. Kenny got behind the wheel, and I jumped in the passenger side. Kenny slowly drove out of the parking lot and as we got on the freeway he looked over at me.

"Best sales call ever!", he said and started laughing.

"I agree!", I answered.

-M"

A Case of Mistaken Identity

One of my best friends called me on my day off, just to tell me this story. I was at breakfast and nearly died laughing. I don't know how it will play out in word form but I'm gonna give it a shot.

We have both been working for the same company for almost 2 years now and doing exceptionally well. However, our old boss was asked to leave almost 9 months ago and we both have maintained contact with him just because he was a great guy. And despite opinion, you can be a good person and a good boss. In fact, in my career too many unqualified managers have ruined and I mean destroyed the careers of some great people.

So my friend Mike, or in this case Michael, was working late one night and didn't finish his job until 2 am. After a long grueling night he just wanted to get some sleep. However at around 5:30 am his cell phone rang and it was our old boss:

"Mike, good morning it's Tom Robert's here. Sorry to get you up early this morning Mike, but I'm in Chicago at corporate headquarters,and I've got the Vice President of operations Neal here, along with 2 of our customer service reps. We wanted just wanted you to give us an idea of how it's going at your account ______ Hospital. How are you this morning Mike?"

"Uh...good, good. I guess. What was the question again Tom?", Mike answered wondering why Tom was calling him at 5:30 first of all, and secondly why was he with the Vice President of another company?!

Michael responded but the whole time he was thinking "this must be a joke or a job interview. I'll just play along. Why does he keep calling me Mike, he's always called me Michael?"

"Ha ha. I know it's early, are you awake Mike? We were wondering how are things with _______ Hospital? Neal is just concerned since we've had some issues with the account, and it's our largest account in the West. We'd just like to be clear on their concerns. Did we get the billing issues resolved?"

" Uh yeah sure I guess. I'm not really familiar with that account Tom, since it's not in my territory. Are you referring to another _______ Hospital?"

" Nope there's only one...Always the kidder, huh Mike? Seriously Mike, can you give Neal a run down on what's happening with the account please. We don't have a lot of time Mike and we just want to clear this up before we go into a meeting."

"Oh sorry Tom. The account's good, it's good... Uh things seem to be better now. I was worried for a while but things seem to be improving.", he answered thinking "he must have me confused with his new rep. He never calls me Mike it's always Michael." So he starts sending a text immediately which reads, "Tom, get off the phone you are calling the wrong Mike this is Michael, not Mike. Hang up the phone!" He waits a few seconds but no reply is returned.

" Oh well that's great Mike, absolutely great. How bout those billing issues we were having? Are those resolved now? I know we were having trouble with their payables for a while. Did they pay those back invoices?"

Michael didn't know what to say, but he didn't want to blow Tom's cover and embarrass him at his new job. He also didn't want to carry on with this conversation when he didn't know the answers to the questions and he was operating on 3 hours of sleep. So he did the logical thing. He hung up the phone on Tom!

He figured that Tom would get the text and not call back. 30 seconds later, his phone rings again!

"Mike. We must've got cut off there. Sorry about that. So Mike, we were talking about those billing issues and I was wondering, did they pay us are they resolved?"

"I guess so yeah Tom, I haven't heard anything more so I'm pretty sure they paid. I'll double check though. "

" Great. How about that ICU Director, everything okay with him now? I know he was unhappy for a little while."

" Oh he's fine now. I in-serviced the account and he's okay now.", Michael said, lying through his teeth to protect his old boss, and hoping the call would end.

" Wonderful Mike. Well that's all the questions I have Mike. Thanks."
" No problem Tom.", he says and sends off the same text again.

At this point Michael thinks he's off the hook and is about to hang up the phone, but he's interrupted just as he is about to say goodbye.

" Mike, this is Peggy, customer service rep for the account. How are you?"

" I'm good, good. Thanks Peggy.", Michael responds thinking, "please let this end soon!"

" Mike, I have a few questions. Number one. Were we able to recover that missing product for their emergency room?"

" Yes Peggy we were thanks. I'm glad you brought that up. It was kind of difficult to find. But the staff helped me.", now Michael was just "hamming it up".

" How about the Cardiology unit are they okay with our service?"

" Oh yeah, yeah, they were a problem for a while. But they love us now."

" Good, good. That's great news. Thanks Mike, I appreciate the feedback."

"Oh no problem Peggy. Thanks for all your hard work.", he says and again he is about to say goodbye when...

" Mike. Neal here. The VP (he emphasized the VP part) I just want to thank you and I'm sure Tom does as well for the great job you're doing. Keep up the good work and have a good day."

" Just glad to help Neal. Although I'm not used to getting up this early", Michael responded and the response was audible laughter on the other end of the phone line.

"Very funny Mike. Thanks again we'll talk later.", Tom said.
" Okay Tom. Have a good one.", Michael answere and hung up the phone. He was somewhat proud of himself for getting through the call, and extremely confused about what just happened.

He sent another text to Tom and the exchange went like this:

Michael: "Tom, this is Michael, I just go off the phone with you, but you were trying to call your rep, not me."
Tom: "Michael why are you texting me this early. Are you up?"
Michael: "Yes, I'm up. I'm trying to tell you that you called me by mistake. You were trying to call your rep for the new company but you called me."
Tom: "Michael I didn't call you this morning."
Michael: "Yes you did. BY MISTAKE! I was confused. I didn't want to blow it. I thought it was a job interview or something so I played along then I hung up the phone."
Tom: "Oh, thanks Michael, wow I almost blew it there. I appreciate it. Glad you hung up that could've been a disaster."
Michael: " I did hang up but then you called me right back, and so I had to play along."
Tom: "?. I called you back?"
Michael: "Yes. You called me twice."
Tom: "Michael. Please tell me that was not you on the phone when I called a second time."
Michael: "It was. That was why I was sending the texts."
Tom: "OMG!"

Take care of your employees and they'll take care of you. No matter where they're working!

-M

Surf's Up Dude!

When you hear "sales gurus" telling you that you can make as much as you want in this business or not because "it all depends upon you", that's not total BS. It really is true, you can make a lot of money in sales but doesn't that saying apply to any job in life. It is what you make it, and if you let other people push you one way or another, then you're screwed. Life is hard and in sales you need to roll with the punches.

As a Sales Manager a few years back, I had a sales person who was absolutely fantastic! Personable, looked great, presented great, and really was able to bond with people in a short period of time. One of those guys who can seduce any woman in the room and get every guy to like him right off the bat. Just the type of guy you'd want on your team. Except there was one problem: he couldn't get his ass out of bed in the morning! He would have made a fortune in commissions if he could just get his lazy butt out of bed.

He had a habit of taking a month off at a time, til I wrote him up for poor performance or he needed money and then he would just go out in the field and kill it! And I mean kill it! There was no mercy, he needed money he went and got it. And it seemed like he always needed that push from me every other month to keep him going. Well after about a year of threatening his job, I got tired of it. But what was I supposed to do...he kept selling. So I decided I would ride with him everyday til he developed the habit of getting up early and getting out in the field. I felt if I could change his habits, I could change the behavior. Ha ha , great theory!

So for about 4 days, I rode with him and things were better. He didn't even need me, he was that good. I think he sold 4 accounts in 4 days. A great week, and I was very proud of his efforts. We were riding back to the office after a great sale on a Thursday afternoon when he suddenly started coughing. So I'm thinking here it comes, "someone's gonna be sick tomorrow." And he keeps coughing in the car and I'm trying to ignore it because I know what he's going to say, but he says it anyway.

"I think I'm coming down with something. I can't shake this cough."

"Shawn...it's July. No one gets a cold in July. And you've been fine all week."

" I know. I know. It's weird but I feel light headed, and I'm having trouble breathing."

" Really? Seriously? You're getting sick. All after such a great week. That's too bad. Well just one more day tomorrow."

" I don't know man. I may have to call in sick. This is pretty bad.", and he coughed really hard after he said "bad" just to emphasize how bad it was.

" You're out of sick days. I can't pay you if you don't come in tomorrow.
Just come in for the first 2 appointments and then you'll be done by 1."
He knew I was not going to let him off that easy. I couldn't. We were making progress.

"Okay, I think I can get through it. Just 2 appointments right?", he said and then coughed again, "It's gonna be tough. I'll take something for it tonight and drink tea."

"Okay great. Bright and early that way we're done early", I said and he nodded his head and then coughed again. What a performance!

We got back to the office and he left immediately. I woke up the next morning and I knew he was not going to show up. I got to the office at 7:30 am and of course there was a voicemail message left at 5 am with coughing and weasing sounds mixed into the message. Shawn was a real pro.

"Uh, I don't think I'm gonna make it today. Sorry man. Really, really sick."

I knew it was going to happen, so I didn't get upset. I went on the calls myself, and sold one account but blew on another. As I was heading to lunch, I turned on the radio to KROQ in Los Angeles. They were live on location in Huntington Beach covering the OP Pro surfing contest and they were speaking to a bunch of surfers and fans. I heard a few interviews and listen to some music in between when all of the sudden I heard Shawn's voice. On the radio!

"Wooohooo dude! I am so stoked for this competition. Kelly Slater is gonna dominate today. The waves are awesome, my beer is awesome, and look at this weather. Where else would you wanna be."

The interviewer asked him, " what's your name and where are you from?"

The idiot actually blurted out his name, "Shawn Johnson from Hermosa Beach by way of Oceanside. Wooo wooo!"

"Shawn, shouldn't you be working today?", the interviewer said.

" No way bro. How could I work today, with all this going on!", he yelled out loud so the crowd could hear and then you heard a loud "Woo woo" from the crowd.

" I hope your boss isn't listening", the interviewer said.

" No way bro, he doesn't listen to KROQ. He's kind of an uber nerd, probably listening to NPR right now.", he blurted out and the interviewer laughed.

" Well Shawn, I hope for your sake he didn't hear that."

Unfortunately for Shawn I did. What kind of idiot says his name on the radio when he's supposed to be at work? The kind of idiot who has all the potential in the world to be the best sales rep ever, and pisses it away because he's lazy. There are two bits of advice you can take from this story.

Number One - Get your ass out of bed every morning because there's money out there to be made.

Number Two - If your going to call in sick, make sure you don't broadcast it on the radio!

-M

Dude! Turn Off Your Cell Phone!

How many times in a meeting, or a sales presentation, or just in a movie theatre, have you heard someone's cell phone ringing? My answer, "far too many times." And the worse part is when the idiots who have the cell phone actually answer the call! How rude or stupid can you be?

A few years back I was working as a Sales Manager on a very large account with an experienced but fairly incapable rep. Let's just call him Cell Phone Jimmy. We had worked our way up the food chain and finally got to the actual decision maker. It was a long and involved process that took almost 5 months. But now it was our time to try and close the account with this one particularly high level executive.

We went into our meeting very well prepared. We had done a lot of homework on the account and received a lot of feedback from mid-level managers and employees. As the call starts, the initial rapport building part is going well, we're chatting back and forth, he seems to like our company, we both went to similar schools, and all seems fine. As we delve deeper into his needs, I hear a cell phone ringing, muffled but ringing. My first response is, "Oh shit, did I leave my cell phone on?!", so I am speaking and reaching down in my pocket to check if it's me, but all the time I'm focusing my eyes on the prospect and what he's saying. The phone keeps ringing and ringing, and as I fish in pocket and pull my phone out, I casually look at my watch on my right wrist and then turn over the phone with my left hand to see if it's on. Very smooth and casual like I do this crap all the time! My phone however is not on, and then the ringing stops. Thank god. I look over at the rep and he is clueless so I figure let's keep going. By the way Cell Phone Jimmy always looked clueless.

We start speaking again and the executive is telling us what he wants from our company and I'm trying to align what we provide with his needs in my head when I hear the ringing again. I know it's not me so it must be him, but he acts as if he's annoyed so now I know it's not his phone that's ringing. I try to talk over the sound of the phone and remain focused on our prospect when the phone stops ringing and I hear a faint , "Hello?". I look over and my partner is actually answering his phone! I'm thinking you have to be kidding me, so I nod at our prospect and smile.

"Must be an important call.", I say to the exec, and he doesn't smile back and responds, "Uh...it had better be.", to which I laugh thinking he's joking but he's not of course.

"Uh honey, no I know, I know, but I'm right in the middle of a call. I'll call you back, I'll call you back.", says the rep in hushed tones as if trying to keep us from hearing him. Uh hello? There's only 3 people in this office and 2 of them are not speaking on the phone. I think we might be able to hear your voice dude.

"Sorry", Jimmy says and smiles, "Can we continue?"

"Sure", says the prospect but he's not smiling back, and I'm thinking, "We're screwed". So we continue the call and we're starting to feel comfortable once more with the prospect when Jim's cell phone starts ringing AGAIN. My partner tries to ignore it. "Great move, how about turning it off you idiot." is my initial thought. The phone keeps ringing which is making us all uncomfortable, and I keep looking at the prospect and wondering how much longer before he cuts the call short, and has security escort us out.

"Jimmy, why don't you turn it off?", I say to my partner.

His response, "Oh my wife would kill me. What if it's an emergency?"

"Everything with my wife is an emergency, but probably best to turn it off.", the prospect chimes in and then laughs. I laugh along with him, and then Jimmy chuckles and says, "Okay, I'll turn it off. Again sorry about that."

"We all know what it's like being married.", says the prospect and we all laugh. I'm thinking great, "We dodged a bullet there". So we start back in with the call and it seems the little phone mishap took the stiffness out of the conversation. We're joking around, talking about the customers needs, he's being much more open about everything and we are really making progress. This goes on for about 20 minutes,and I am just about to launch in to the presentation of our products when, that friggin phone starts ringing again. By this time our prospect is out of patience and completely pissed off.

"Thanks for your time guys. There's the door. We'll be in touch.", he says.

"But it's just a mistake. He just forgot to turn it off. Maybe we can reschedule?"

"He should've turned it off before he came through that door!", the exec said very loudly and very clearly. "Thank you gentlemen.", he said and pointed at the door.

"But we never go to present our products.", I said imploring a second chance.

"Have his wife call me and explain them.", was his response and I almost started to laugh.

We both walked outside, nodded to the assistant as we left the office, and when we got outside I was ready to strangle Cell Phone Jimmy.

"Jimmy, what the fuck were you thinking? Why did you not turn it off when he asked?"

"I was thinking who is it worse to piss off? Him or my wife? I gotta live with her not him"

He had a point, but I wasn't gonna let him off that easy, "Okay, okay, I get it. So what was so important that she had to keep calling you?"

"I have to make sure to bring home a chicken to cook for dinner tonight since it's my turn to cook."

"Jimmy, you mean to tell me we lost one of our biggest accounts because of a chicken?!"

"I guess you could say that?"

"Well cocka fuckin doodle doo! Good job Jimmy."

-SFTD

Don't Let That Smell Fool Ya, He's Still A Customer

Working in the Healthcare industry you come across different types of situations. In fact, working in sales in any industry you come across unique individuals with varied tastes and personal aromas. However we all have to adapt if we want to overcome this type of "objection".

Yesterday was once such situation, where I was in a hospital and speaking with a doctor whom I'd never met before. He was well spoken, wore a suit, and seemed funny and affable, but I kept getting this distinct smell coming from him as we spoke. My first thought was, "Oh my god someone shit their pants." While this is not uncommon to come across patients who are incontinent, it's rare for me to encounter a doctor who has the same condition. So naturally, I thought I was the culprit.

When your in a situation like that, how do you excuse yourself to check?
"Excuse me it smells really bad in here, I need to check my drawers. I'll be right back."
" Wow something smells really bad and I think it might be me!"

I excused myself and went to the bathroom, knowing full well it wasn't me, but just checking to be sure. In addition I cleared my head and came back to finish my discussion with the doctor. As we talked again about the condition of his patient, the smell returned and this time I could tell it was not me. In fact after looking at the doctor and his suit, I could tell personal hygiene was not high on his priority list. As we spoke at length in regards to how we could work on improving the patient's outcome, I realized that maybe he was incontinent. A nurse was also engaged in the conversation and when we finished she said, "I saw the look on your face. First time speaking with him huh?"
"Yeah why do you ask."
"His nickname on the floor is Dr. Poop, cause he always smells like shit."
My response, "Good thing he's not a proctologist."

In any case, I endured the smell because I was able to make a new contact and build some rapport. And whether he smells or not, I don't care as long as he buys from me!

M