Years ago I was an up and coming young executive at a pretty well known service company. I had done very well with the numbers but not so well with the politics of the corporate environment. Why? I told the truth which most people didn't like, and most of the time my analysis of a situation was right. This wouldn't have been so bad, if I didn't have the annoying habit of telling people, "I told you so!" I was arrogant, brash, and I knew what I was capable of, but the problem was people didn't want to hear me say it. In the corporate environment, hey want you to follow the leader, learn your place, and then once your humbled, you can move forward in your career. I didn't learn that until after I quit. I thought it would be different somewhere else but naturally it wasn't. People are the same at every corporation.
Well in order for me to change our executives perceptions of me, I decided that I would actively try to be around them at regional, and corporate meetings. I knew that my reputation as a "know it all" had preceded me, so I decided that it was in my best interest to get to know the senior managers and VP's and for them to get to know me. Again, my ego got the best of me, because I figured that if I was funny and they liked me, they would help turn my career in the right direction. Wrong! In the corporate environment, especially one focused on service, it pays to be efficient, nondescript, boring, and without a personality. This will get you everywhere. I found this out the hard way...
Our managers meeting was in Atlanta and I was excited because I had never been to Atlanta, and I heard the food was great and it was a fun city. So naturally, I was looking forward to the trip. All of us were to take tours of our newest hi tech manufacturing facility, and we would have meetings for 3 days to discuss strategies for the upcoming fiscal year. Really exciting stuff...boring. The first evening a few of the younger general managers, like myself, decided to go out for dinner and drinks. We were at a local restaurant when the senior executives showed up, including our own vice president, Jim, and naturally they all decided to join us. Already they were pretty tipsy so I thought maybe this was a good chance for me to try and let some of my own personality out since they were already drunk, they might not remember anything the next day. Mind you, I wasn't planning on making an ass of myself, but when alcohol is involved, sometimes your lack of judgement, gets you in trouble.
We were all drinking telling jokes and one of my colleagues pipes in, "Hey M, do some impressions for us! You guys gotta see this. Friggin hilarious! Do the Christopher Walken thing..."
Naturally, never the one to pass up a chance to be in the spot light I start do impressions of a bunch of people like Christopher Walken, Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, Traci Morgan, and even a slutty version of an elderly Katherine Hepburn. Well this has the whole party laughing and then some drunken idiot shouts out over everyone's laughter:
"Hey M, do that impression you do of Jim!", well it was as if a record scratched and the music stopped. Everyone was looking at me including our VP, Jim.
"So you do an impression of me, do you?", he said in his slow measured tone.
I lied immediately, "No I don't. I've never done an impression of you."
"Yeah you do. You do it all the time in the office. C'mon it'll be funny.", the idiot adds. I could have strangled that guy at this point. Now everyone was looking at me, waiting for a response. Then Jim spoke.
" Sure M, let's hear your impression of me. I'm curious as to how good it is."
" Sir, I think it would be better for my career, if I stick to celebrities at this point. " I responded.
" What? I'm not a big enough celebrity for you? C'mon at least try to do an impression of me." , he added and slapped me on the back and laughed.
Again, everyone was staring at me, waiting for my response. It was as if all of them were witness to all the facets of an accident, just waiting to happen. They saw all the elements of a career suicide in front of them, and secretly all of them wanted me to make fun of one of the VP's. None of them had the balls to do it themselves, but for some reason they thought I would be stupid enough to do it.
I sat at the table with Jim's arm around me and about 20 people looking at me waiting in anticipation. I was full of beer, a little tipsy, and feeling a little bit daring. So I went for it:
" What? I'm not a big enough celebrity for you?", I repeated in a perfect imitation of Jim's voice.
The party erupted! Guys were falling over laughing, including the other VP's, and so I went even a little further, "Boys, if we don't get these numbers up, some of you are going to be looking for a job somewhere else...", I added, imitating him to perfection.
Now everyone was laughing, including Jim! I thought to myself, "This is great they love me!" All the other managers were crying they were laughing so hard. The senior VP's were congratulating me on what a great impression it was, and how funny I was, and I felt like I had finally bonded with all of them. No longer was I an outsider. I was "in" with the senior managers, and I felt like I had finally made it. Everyone was slapping me on the back, and it felt great!
Just then another hand slapped me on the back and then wrapped around my shoulder. It was Jim. He gave me a shoulder hug, pulled me close to him and said:
"That was great! You were spot on kid. But don't think I'm ever going to forget this. Drunk or not, I'm gonna remember this night for a long time.", and he looked at me, and he wasn't smiling. And he didn't smile at me for another year...
When you go out with anyone who has seniority, authority, or capacity to affect your career, know when to say "NO", to a night on the town.
Have a great day selling!
-M
