Recently, my fiancee has been looking at other places to work, and she has been subjected to scores of personality tests. It seems that every company is trying minimize its risk of hiring someone, by testing each applicant prior to placement. She's had to take 5 of these tests in the last 2 weeks and it is starting to get on her nerves and mine as well. All I can say, is that personality tests are complete bullshit! I have taken these tests in the past, and despite the endorsements by business professors who incidentally have no experience in business, this type of test taking is not effective. Why? Because you can "cheat" the test. Keep in mind, the creator or creators of these personality tests will advise you that the tests are infallible. They have too because it's their livelihood. That despite the applicants attempts to "fake" the test results, there is no way this is possible, because of the intricacies of the test. I'm sorry but again I have to call BS. No matter how many different ways the test creators word a question it's still the same question and the answer will be the same. Any idiot can figure out that question 15 is the same question 76 but they are just worded differently. So you answer them in the same manner. I know these tests are not infallible, because I have "faked" my way through several of them, and I have coached others to do the same.
I can remember way back in 1999, I was required to take one of these tests by my company to see if my personality matched that of a successful sales manager. Naturally, I answered all the questions as if I were an arrogant prick, but not so arrogant that it might cloud my judgement. I sat in the room envisioning how a used car sales man would answer the questions, and I pictured myself wearing gold chains and an open shirt with chest hair sticking out. Then I almost threw up in my mouth. It took me 3 agonizing hours to complete all of the questions! 3 hours!
Well, the test returns came back with this long description of who I was, and the nature of my character, and how effectively I was matched to the position. I scored a 90% match, which was a joke, since the profile they had compiled on me was not consistent with who I am as a person. It wrote that I was very, very aggressive, and that I might tend to "walk over" employees and customers in order to achieve my goals. The recommendation was to hire me, but keep a tight leash on my activities since my overconfidence might upset fellow employees and potential customers in the process. In addition, it also suggested I focused greatly on my appearance and it was important to me how I looked to other people. Nothing could have been further from the truth! I didn't dress to impress at all. In fact I would usually wear the same clothes for so long they actually went out of style and then came back in style. Some of my fellow employees would make fun of my ties just because a few of them had a certain cartoon character on them. (No I didn't own a "Star Wars" tie and it wasn't Stewie from "Family Guy")
Moreover, the test indicated I was uber confident. This was another glaring misnomer. In fact, I am the opposite. Whenever I win awards I always think that there has been some type of mistake or the presenter got the "numbers" wrong. To be honest, I think this helps me as a sales person because people appreciate humility.
This is just one example of how inaccurate these tests can be, and I can think of 5 more instances where they have failed to correctly identify the true character/personality of an employee. 10 years ago I recruited probably the best person I have ever worked with and may ever work with in my career. I interviewed him, and even though there was no position for him with my company, I wanted to hire him immediately. We spent two hours together and he had the perfect blend of charm and character of a person I wanted to work with, but he still had to take a personality test in keeping with our company policy. He took the test and the results came back that he was a poor match to the position. After some discussion with my boss, and the VP, I hired him anyway because they both agreed he was the ideal candidate. 10 years later his career has taken off and he is now the head of Service Training for a major industrial laundry company. So why did the test indicate he was not right for the job? Because these types of tests cannot predict or show what you see in an interview. In addition, they tend to favor those who are either supremely confident or supremely nerdy. For a sales or management position you want a confident person, but for a tech job you might want a humble nerd. Why can't a person be both? I'm tired of this ridiculous application of fucking Sabremetrics to minimize the risk of hiring someone. HR and management people are now "pigeon holing" potential employees and this is just wrong. If you want to determine if a person is good enough, sit your ass in a chair and get to know them. Then if you're not sure, have someone else interview them and compare notes.
Listed below are some of the questions which are on these absurd tests. I have listed each question or statement and my interpretation of what they really want to know about the applicant. I will not identify the testing agency since many of them ask the same asinine questions. Read them and judge for yourself:
Question or Statement True or False
I would rather stay home and read than go to a party.
Interpretation: Are you an unsociable nerd?
I like classical music.
Interpretation: Are you an unsociable nerd who listens to classical music?
I wish I knew what I wanted out of life.
Interpretation: Are you a goal less loser?
In school I am or was in the upper part of my class.
Interpretation: Are you an honors student or is vocational school your new gig?
I get away with a lot of things.
Interpretation: Are you a sneaky little bastard, and should we even trust you?
I am a fast reader.
Interpretation: Were you a student of Evelyn Wood? Or should we get you a tutor?
I can use a microscope
Interpretation: Seriously, who the hell can use a microscope besides a lab technician?
I am a poor judge of my own ability
Interpretation: Do you have any confidence or are you just a total loser?
I would like to change a lot of things about myself.
Interpretation: Are you so unhappy with yourself that you might commit suicide on the job?
Keep in mind this test had 300 questions like this! All designed to develop a "picture" of who you really are? But is it really accurate? Not at all, and employers have no right to be this inquisitive as to your personal life and preferences. It seems that not only are people supposed to apply for a job they're supposed to give over all the most personal and intimate details of their lives and of themselves. Well, I say bullocks! Screw them and screw those tests!
Have a great day selling!
-M
