Throughout my career, I have had many wonderful bosses. People who mentored me, and showed me what it's like to be supportive and yet firm. They motivated people, and help foster many careers. However there have been a few times where I have had terrible bosses. People who weren't ready to lead and who tried to control each aspect of your professional life. Managers who were inexperienced but thought they could bullshit there way through every day and get promoted again in the process. Most of them failed and inevitably got demoted or fired. However in many instances they're still out there managing and screwing up people's lives.
A recent study from the Harvard Kennedy School, outlines traits that make a good manager and being vocal, outspoken, and wanting to be in charge are not traits which are suited to the role. In fact, the study emphasizes having good interpersonal skills and making people feel psychologically safe, while having analytical abilities as well are what makes a manager successful. Often those two skills cannot be found in the same person, but you can develop into a good manager, through understanding and practice.
I have had too many managers who self promoted themselves into a position which they were not ready for, and they "learned by doing", but in the process they destroyed careers and ruined lives. These individuals launched PR campaigns within the organization and secured managerial roles which other people were much better suited to fulfill.
It's sad but there is a lot of professional fallout from allowing people to "suck up and move up". In one case, I saw a general manager burn through 16 of his managers before someone pointed out he might be the problem and subsequently he was fired. And yet those managers the company let go were never invited to return to their old jobs. Essentially their careers with that corporation were derailed by one individual riding a public relations train straight into a sea of inefficiency.
I trusted all of my managers to start, but as we worked together, little signs would crop up that would tell me some of them weren't to be trusted. Invariably, they would reveal their true intentions and I would be forced to navigate through the miasma from a fetid work environment they created. Be on the look out if your manager starts showing these signs, because not only do they stink as leaders, they "sit on a throne of lies."
5. They Can't Admit When They're Wrong - Working with different people over a 20 year career, my former bosses came in many different types. Whenever I work with someone who can't admit to making a mistake, I am immediately put on alert. Once, I was in a meeting and pointed out to my general manager he might have made an error in forecasting and following the meeting he called me into his office and said, "I don't make mistakes. Don't ever call me out again." If your boss can't admit they make mistakes chances are if they do make one, you're going to get blamed. Gaslighting takes on many forms in the corporate world.
4. They Trash Talk Your Fellow Employees - I began working with a new boss and she immediately asked me for my opinion about another employee. Because I had management experience, she thought it was okay to open up and share. She asked, "well what would you do?" I answered honestly, "I don't know exactly what's going on with this person, but maybe you should talk to her first?" She said, "The time for talk is over." In six months, that employee's career was over. I started looking for a new gig shortly thereafter.
3. They Stir The Pot- I partnered with one manager who thought he was a college football coach. He would tell us that he wanted to "stir the pot to make the environment more competitive." In meetings he would pit employees against each other, and in private he would make comments. "Why can't you be more like Martha. She's got my back. Why don't you?" I wanted to respond, "Because you're an idiot?" But instead, I just transferred to another division in the company, working with a boss who had an IQ above 80.
2. "They Have Ulterior Motives" - Have you ever had a boss you worked for that you wondered why they were helping you? Some bosses just do things so they can look good even though it seems like they're trying to help you. They always have some type ulterior motive to what they do and it's mostly to make themselves look good. For example, I had a boss who asked me to create a new way of processing our service sales people during check in and he told everyone what a great job I was doing. Yet after I had perfected the process and documented it, he took all the credit. I thought I was going to be promoted, but instead I got shafted.
1. "They Create A 'Game Of Thrones' Work Environment" - Once, I worked for a boss who was eerily similar to the character Littlefinger in "Game of Thrones". He had spies everywhere and during our one on one meetings he would tell me what his little birds had discovered about me.
"I understand you think I made a mistake in this year's projections?"
"I never said that."
"That's not what I heard."
"What did you hear exactly?'
"Benny told me during your service meeting that you said my projections were off."
"No. I said I wasn't here during the projection process so I can't say how they arrived at the numbers. And I also said we need to hit our goals regardless. They are set high for a reason."
"Well it came across to the team that you said I was wrong."
"By the team do you mean Benny? Who already resents me for being in this position?"
"Yes he and Fred think you're undermining me."
" Well let's bring them in and settle this so we can move forward. I don't want there to be a perception I am not supportive of everything we're trying to achieve. I have your back."
" Bring them in? Why? So you can yell at them? And twist things around?"
" When have I ever yelled at anybody? Twist things around?", I actually laughed. "I thought you brought me here because you said I'm direct, and I don't lie."
" I never said that. I don't know if I feel comfortable with you saying that."
" You're right and now I don't feel comfortable either. Instead of listening to your little minions you might want to start listening to the rest of the staff. Ask anyone out there besides those two individuals if I am undermining you and if they think I'm not a team player. If anyone else says so, I'll gladly transfer."
" I'll do that, and I'll hold you to that."
I already knew we were making progress as a team, and I loved the efforts of everyone, including the minions. But we were not going to be successful in an environment where people were stabbing each other in the back. My boss asked around and discovered that the rest of the team thought I was not only supportive of him, but that they were grateful I had come aboard.
Unfortunately this made things worse because now he became extremely insecure. The environment festered and was intolerable, so I left.
All relationships start with trust and if you can't trust your boss than it's best to find one you can trust.
-SFTD
