Who The Hell Are You?



Disrespect is something I cannot tolerate from anybody, whether it's a clerk in a store, a person walking down the street glaring at me, a doctor not giving me the time of day, or the owner of a business blowing me off like he's/she's the president of the UN and he/she has a full schedule.  It's just improper behavior and it's not how I was raised. Think of all the times people are so focused on their little circle of influence that they ignore you, and won't even grant you the courtesy of a "hello".
My response to people who show a lack of respect, "Who the hell are you?"

Well, not in those exact words,but I find that if someone is disrespectful, that behavior needs to be addressed.  If not, they will never respect you and never pay attention to what you have to offer.  So here's a little trick that I use, when a doctor, business owner, nurse, janitor, or anyone is not polite.  I flip the situation on them.  In other words, I no longer act like a sales rep, but I propose that I am a potential customer.  Here'a a perfect example:

Last week, I was in a clinic talking the same old crap, to the same old grumpy lady in the front desk, and asking if I could speak to clinic manager.  Here's how the conversation went.

"Good morning Tina.  How are you today?"
"Yeah, yeah, what are you selling today?", she said with what look to me like a 2 day old beard.  I wasn't really sure what Tina was, but I was assuming by the name, she was a woman.
"You're always so cheerful in the morning Tina. Same stuff I was selling before. But I do need to speak to Sonia today."
"She's busy.", she said and just then Sonia walked by with a cup of coffee and waved at me.
"She doesn't look terribly busy can you check with her?"
"I can. But I told you she's busy.  What's this about?"she asked, while I tried to ignore the wart just above her eye.  It looked painfully large and menacing.
"I have a patient I want to refer to the clinic."
"What?" , she said and her face changed and all of the sudden the "shoe" was on the other foot.
"I said I have a patient I want to refer to the clinic.  An HBO patient."
"Really?" , she looked shocked.  Her face relaxed and her wart, which was once menacing, now looked like just another giant wart above a burly woman's eyebrow.
"Yes really." , I said very matter of factly.
"Wait a second, I'll see if she's busy.", she snapped and got up from behind her desk and went looking for the clinic manager.  Five minutes later I was sitting down with Sonia and discussing a patient I had ran into at a dialysis clinic with an ulcer that needed treating.  The clinic manager who had been nice but still had not thrown any business my way, was very appreciative. 
"I didn't know you went into those types of clinics.", she said,   We should pair up on some calls."
" For sure just so long as we're helping one another, I can bring you in and introduce you to my contacts.'
"Great!  Oh I think we have an order for you guys.  You work with Health___ right?"
" Yep."
It was really that simple.  Not all calls will go this way, but it was worth the effort.

    Keep in mind that you may be a sales rep, but there are times when you may just be that business, clinic, or counter person's next customer.  If you're having trouble with a particular account, try flipping roles with the prospect and you may earn the respect you deserve.  Have a good day selling!

-M

There's No Crying In Sales

I just got back from a regional meeting and boy are they ever fun! Actually, they are fun when the "meeting" part is over with, and you get to eat, drink, and have fun with your fellow reps, but other than that; those types of meetings are stressful.  Especially if you're behind your quota, which fortunately I'm not, they can be a nightmare for reps.  Let's face it, the way quotas are set in healthcare sales is truly fucked up.  I'm gonna say it, because when I first got into healthcare sales, I blew my numbers out of the water and the next thing I know, the company is DOUBLING my quota.  I already had the highest revenue in the region and they decided oh well he can DOUBLE that total next year.  What the fuck is wrong with people?  Oh yeah I did 1.5 million in sales, I can do 3 million easy.  That's right people my quota was $3 million dollars!  Since I had been doing so well I went to my boss for advice.'

"Jim, I think we have a problem with my quota."
"What's the problem?"
" It doubled? That's the problem.  I won't make any commissions next year."
" Yeah I noticed it was kind of high."
" Kind of high?  It's 3 million dollars Jim.  What the hell is that all about?  When I got to my territory it was wasn't even producing $800,000."
" I know and you did great this past year.  In 6 months you took that territory from 95th to 5th in the country.  Too bad you didn't start the year with us, you would have gone on the "Winners Circle" trip."

As an aside here, why is it that managers like to tell you what might have been? As if this is some type of encouragement or compliment?  It's pretty stupid in my opinion, and just pisses off the rep. I was dumbfounded by his response.
"Jim, is that supposed to make me fucking feel better?  I COULD HAVE gone on the trip if I had been with the company a year.  Oh that's awesome.  Thanks for the pat on the back."
"Heh watch the language.  Well I'm just saying you're doing great and we think you'll continue to do great."
"But I won't make any money."
" You can do it. You just need to focus on more capital sales."
" Why didn't they make the quota an average of the whole year?  It seems like they just took the last 3 months when I was killing it?"
" Well that's how we base the numbers.  The last 3 months."
" Well that's stupid. If you have a great last 3 months as a rep, you're screwed.  I shoulda slept through the winter like a bear."
" Yeah I don't know why they do that? It does seem a little unfair." , he said sounding as perplexed as me about the whole situation.  Keep in mind, this man had worked in healthcare for 25 years.
" That's your answer? Listen Jim, this affects you as well.  The region did well so your quota has to be really high too.  Is there any chance we can have them adjusted?"
" No chance.  I've worked in this business a lot and the only time they get adjusted is when the company is paying reps TOO much money."
" Well that's a sound business philosophy.  Screw the people bringing in the business.  Thanks for the pep talk Jim.  I feel so much better."
" Any time.  Call me if you need anything."
I didn't even respond.  I just laughed and then said, "Yeah. Okay."

    So in short, if you do extremely well one year, you're screwed for the next, which leads us to the regional meeting.  This is when the senior management comes in and either applauds your efforts or tells your manager as they are leaving, "Fire these poor bastards.  They suck".  Which is not what any manager or rep wants to hear.  Primarily, because if you're a manager, and you need to be told to fire a rep, then you won't be a manager for much longer.  And secondly, because they make all the sales reps do presentations on the "State Of The Territory", and what the rep's plans are for improvement, and if the senior manager doesn't like the presentation, or the rep..."sayonara, adios, chao, and adieu" to that underperforming rep.  No stress at all. Right?

   Each of us was required to do a presentation and then there was a "question and answer" session at the end, but usually it occurred while you were in the middle of your presentation.  I put them in quotes because it wasn't really questions and answers but more like interrogation or adulation. Questions were asked to either tear a rep down or build them up.  There was very little room for in between.  The questions are listed below with their actual meaning listed to the right:

Questions for sales reps who were below quota

"How do you manage your time?"                    "What the hell are you doing out there? Nothing obviously."
"What are your plans to improve?"                   "How are you going to keep this ship from sinking you loser?"
"What's preventing you from hitting quota?"    "You're so fired, but I have to ask this question."
"What's your biggest obstacle?"                       "Besides the obvious, why are you so shitty at this job?"
"How many calls do you make a day?"           "I know you're not working but again I have to ask this."
"Is your day planned geographically?"            "Do you drive around all day and hope a patient hits your car?"
"What time table do you have for improvement?"     "When you fail, on what day can I expect to fire you?"

Questions for sales reps who were above quota

"What do you think has made you successful?"        "Tell these idiots how it's done.  Impart some wisdom."
"What are you doing differently this year?"            "What did you do this year to keep from getting fired?"
"Who do you call on for each product line?"          "I have no idea what you do or where you go, so enlighten me?"
"What marketing pieces did you use this year?"      "I've never looked at our marketing pieces. Can you show me one?"
"What would you tell a rep who's behind quota?"      "I love you and I would sleep with you if it wasn't against policy."
" What do you plan to do with all your commissions?"      "Where are you taking me to dinner for being so nice to you?"


     During one of the presenations, a rep was being grilled by a senior VP, and she broke down and started to cry.  I almost started to chuckle, because I thought to myself:

 "There's no way they are gonna let her slide because she's crying.  There's no crying in sales! She is just making it worse.  She'll probably be fired right after this meeting."

    Remarkably, her tears worked!  I was shocked. She was given sympathy by both her manager and the senior VP.  Everyone was sighing and consoling her and asking her if there was anything they could do to help her achieve her goals.  A few well placed tears and this woman was getting off without even a hint of even constructive criticism.  Meanwhile, the reps that followed her were grilled more than a burnt ribeye steak.  They were made to feel like shit, rather than given sound advice on how to improve their situation.  I sat and watched as each rep presented and was soundly ridiculed for their performance, their dress, and even their demeanor.  It was appalling and frightening at the same time.  I was befuddled by how easily senior management had been manipulated. 

 I sat there dumbfounded, completely shocked by the strange turn of events., until someone shook me and said, "Okay M, it's your turn to present."

I broke from my reverie, stood up, and as I started speaking I felt my eyes welling up with tears...

-M









   

  .

Que Pasa? The Language Barrier

I was married to a woman for 9 years who spoke fluent Spanish, and worked in a school district where it was necessary to be bilingual in order to teach her students.  She was about as fair haired and light skinned as you can get, but she was fluent.  So how much Spanish did I learn being married to this wonderful woman for 9 years?   Poquito.  If you do not write or speak Spanish that translates to "a little bit".  I even tried at one point to speak nothing but Spanish in our house for a period of 2 weeks, hoping I could force myself to learn the language,  but by Friday of the second week, I wanted to strangle her for not speaking to me in English.  As a result, my Spanish comprehension is minimal, and to state that I "habla espanol" is kind of a joke.  I understand much, but speak very little. 

Which leads me to a series of luncheons which I have to give for a strictly Spanish speaking staff, in a very Latin part of Los Angeles.  I am not equipped to handle this task, no matter how funny I think I am.  It is true that humor can be a universal language, but that's only if you're a slapstick comedian, and not a health care rep trying to convey the advantages of your product.  So starting last week, I visited 4 different clinics all dedicated to the treatment of primarily Hispanic/Latin patients.  In addition,  I was to assist the clinical educator on the nature of our products, what we could do for the patients,  and how to order certain medical supplies through my company.  And all of this presentation they wanted in Spanish because my predecessor had been bilingual, and they wanted to keep their service level "status quo". 

The educator was very nice and offered to translate, but she wanted me to read the presentation in Spanish, and see how the patients and staff would respond.  She felt it would bring me closer to the patients and secure more orders as a result.  Consequently, I found a Spanish presentation, took it home, and practiced speaking and pronouncing the words correctly for an audience of one.  I got really good at it over a the course of a few hours, and by the time I went to bed, I felt that I had practically mastered the language, or at least the sounds of the language.  I think the two margaritas helped with my pronunciation, but I could not be too sure, since after two margaritas much judgment was slightly impaired.

The next day, I was set to present in front of 20 patients, along with a few doctors and a few nurses.  I figured all I had to do was read and then let the educator take over if there were any preguntas/questions.  I started by introducing myself:

"Mucho gusto seniores et senoritas. Me llamo es M.  Si traballo es ________Healthcare."

I heard a few snickers, so I assumed my accent must have been really bad, or my diction.  Yet I forged ahead, despite their laughter. 

"Bueno, bueno.  Hoy estoy aqui, porque tengo incontinencia. " I said and the snickering started again, and there were even a few laughs.

"Cuanto tiempo?", an older man asked in the front row.  I assumed he was talking about the length of the presentation so I answered in Spanish.

"Aproximadamente una hora", which means about one hour.  I remembered that from one of my old Spanish classes and at this point, I was feeling quite comfortable with my Spanish.  It was all coming back to me.

"El bano es abajos" he said and everyone started laughing and I assumed he meant the bathroom, so I responded accordingly.

" Oh. Gracias, gracias, senior.  Esta bien.  Yo ya fuil al bano" And they were still laughing.  I believed I had told him that I already knew where the bathroom was located and I didn't need to use it at the moment.

"En los pantalones?" he said and made a gesture towards my pants, and he smiled.

I thought he was referring to the style of my pants which he liked, but I didn't know how to respond so I just said, "Si, si."  And when I did, the whole room started laughing, including the nurses and the educator.  I was embarrassed so I tried to pull the educator aside.  In the meantime the whole room was making comments  in Spanish and laughing.

"Why is everyone laughing so hard?", I asked her.

"It's your Spanish.  It's funny.", she answered.

" Well that's good isn't it?  At least there laughing right?"

" Do you even know what you said just now?", she asked and she was chuckling to herself.

" Yeah.  I said I was here to talk about incontinence and then that old man asked me how long and I said an hour, and then he asked if I'd been to the bathroom. Which I responded no.  I didn't get the comment about my pants though."

She burst out laughing again, and at this point I was perplexed, so I asked, "My Spanish is not that good, so what exactly did I say?"

She said, "First of all you said 'I have incontinence', and when he asked you how long, you said about an hour.  Then when he said the bathroom is downstairs and  you told him you had already gone to the bathroom." and then she started laughing again and was trying to stop but couldn't hold back the laughter.

"What else?", I said, a little annoyed by the whole situation.

"In your pants.  You said you went to the bathroom in your pants." , she said and laughed out loud and so did everyone else.

My faced turned red and I was thoroughly embarrassed, " I thought it sounded good."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "It did,.  It did. Good speaking, but poor translation."

"Well, I might as well have peed in my pants now.  Where's those diaper samples?", I said and then we all started laughing together.  The older man grabbed a diaper sample and threw it at me and everyone began cracking up; myself included.  

Lesson learned.  Don't let your message get lost in the translation.  No matter who your selling to or what language you're speaking.  Have a great day selling!

-M

"Oh I Forgot We Had An Appointment"

Last week,  I had an appointment set,which had been rescheduled twice, and then the day before the meeting the decision maker sent an email wanting to cancel....AGAIN. WTF? I had a VP flying in for the meeting, and two other sales reps because this was a fairly large account, but they still insisted on cancelling.

In other words, the decision maker was saying to me:

"You're not important enough to meet with me. And you're so insignificant I don't think it's even rude to send you a message at the last second cancelling. Plus I don't care if your VP is flying in to town, and this makes you look bad.  My time is much more important than yours...loser! Oh and I kicked your dog when you weren't looking, and she may die from head trauma."

Okay, maybe I dramatized the part about kicking my dog, but they might as well have kicked me in the teeth.  I can't understand how people can think that it's okay to cancel a meeting in which you have specified in emails that people are flying in to attend.  I was so perturbed I called the decision maker's executive assistant.

"Hello Tracy, this is M.  I just got the email from you that Denise wants to cancel our meeting tomorrow."

"Oh yeah M.  She's sorry but she has some stuff she's really busy with here and it needs to be addressed.  Sorry about that...would you like to reschedule?"

" She is aware my VP is flying in to town specifically for this meeting right?"

" What? I don't think she was aware of that.  Was that in your email?", she obviously had not read my emails even though I copied her in on each and every one.

" Yes it was.  It's been in the last few emails.  I understand she's very busy, it's just I'm not sure we're going to have this opportunity again so it would be great if we could meet tomorrow. Even if it's for just a few minutes."  In other words, I was basically implying that I was pissed off, and this simply was not professional.  I think she got the message.

"Oh wow!  Uh yeah, let me talk to her and I'll call you right back.", she sounded a bit flustered but not angry.  I was still a bit perturbed.  How can people be so inconsiderate?  Well it's simple.  In reality, we are not a resource to them, or they would never cancel a meeting.  Once I get to the point where people want to see me on a regular basis then I know that I've done my job.  Until then, I'm just like any other rep pushing product.

In twenty minutes Tracy called me back. "Uh, so sorry M.  She said that she didn't read all of the emails and that if you have people flying in to meet with her, then she would be happy to sit down with all of you for an hour.  What time was the meeting again?"

"That's great.  Thank you so much Tracy.  It'll be a luncheon at 12.  Shouldn't take too long.  Be in and out in an hour."

I suppose I was more of a resource to the account than I suspected, or maybe they were just tired of me annoying them with phone calls and emails.  Either way,  I'll take the appointment as opposed to throwing a brick through the glass doors of their office which was my alternative plan. 

"You get more from a bear with honey than you do with a brick."  Isn't that the quote?  Or something like that?  Keep in mind that your time is just as important as the client, prospect or customer, and if they cancel and you think that it's an unreasonable request; let them know they're in the wrong.  It will earn you a measure of respect, and let the person know it's unprofessional.  Sales people have feelings too!

Have a great day selling!

-M

Anyone Can Sell - Really?

In my lengthy career I meet with operations people all the time and executives who are in need of help with their sales teams.  Usually, when someone is coming in to give advice on how to increase your sales, it means your team sucks.  It's true.  Why would you need a new sales manager if your team is kicking ass?  One thing I have learned from these meetings with RM's,VP's, CEO's, and COO's, is that operations people really think that, "Anyone can sell."

I may have been paraphrasing but I heard those particular words from a VP of a very large corporation in the service industry.  He said it over and over and over. 

"Anyone can sell. It's a numbers game.  The more people you see, the more you're going to sell.  You just have to stay on top of it. Sales reps are lazy.  That's the problem." 

I was initially offended by his remark, and then curious as to why he thought that sales was so easy. So I asked, "You seem to know a lot about sales. Were you a sales person for while?"

"Well not officially, but I sold accounts.  I'd take the executives out for golf with the sales rep, and after a few drinks.  Bingo!  They signed the contract.  No problem.  I can remember this really big account where we were having trouble landing it and I came in, talked to them for a few minutes and bam!  They signed."

At first, I was tempted to tell him that all he really did was help with the closing.  That the rep did all the leg work, the appointment setting, the golf reservations, and the needs analysis, but since I didn't want to offend his pompous ass, and I was a potential new employee,  I held back some very sarcastic and biting remarks and asked him another question.

"If it's such an easy job, and this means no disrespect to you.  Why is your company's turnover so high and why are your reps not selling?  Do you have any idea?"

"They're fucking lazy.", he said and then laughed. "I don't know, that's why we're talking to you.  You're supposed to know this shit." He said and then laughed again.

I laughed too, just to make sure he was comfortable with me.  He seemed like a good guy, amiable, but just confused.  Operations people tend to think everything can be fixed, including an under performing rep.  Not to offend any operations people, because I too was in operations for a long time.  They tend to believe if you make a process map for everything, then you can figure out what's wrong and you can fix the problem. That if you review your Six Sigma training, you can actually "fix" a person, even an under performing rep.  Wrong!

"Good one.", I said. "Okay, besides not being fucking lazy, what are you looking for in a successful rep?  For example, what kind of background do you want them to have?  Do you want them to have a degree? Do you want them to have a sales background? What are you looking for?"

"That's my Sales VP's job to figure that stuff out. Hell that'll be your job if we take you on. I got enough issues to deal with,to keep this ship moving forward. It's her job to handle that."

CEO's, COO's, VP's, all say that same stupid shit.  They always draw analogies to football, soccer, baseball, and war: oh especially war. "I wanna know would you go to war with this sales team you have?", I would often hear people shouting at their managers. One time, my general manager asked me that very same question.

"If you were going to war.  Would you take this team you have?"
"Well no I wouldn't."
" I knew it! Then you should fire all of them and get a team that you would take to war."
" If you let me finish, I wouldn't take them to war, because first of all Heather is a pacifist and not very fit.  She may look fit but she's not.  Shawn has asthma so he wouldn't last very long in the field, and Greg has eye problems so he probably wouldn't recognize our side from the enemy.  About the only person I would go to war with is Colin, who's a complete fucking psycho, who owns a lot of guns, hunts all the time even when it's off season, and who's hero is Buffalo Bill from the movie 'Silence of the Lambs'.  So if I had to chose some one to go to war with, it would be Colin."
"That guy is really creepy.", was my GM's response.
" Tell me about it.  You hired him remember.  But he'd be great during a war. "
"You made your point" , he said.

  I have every respect for veterans but I'm sorry to say that if you have ever been in combat, you know that it's very real and very dangerous.  When you sit behind a desk you're not at war.  You think you are, but there is no real threat you're going to get shot.  If there was a threat you would die, then maybe managers would take more interest in their "troops", to help save their asses.

I apologize for the digression, and back to our currently scheduled conundrum.  I was interviewing with a VP of a fairly good sized company who didn't think much of sales reps.

"Okay, let's forget about what she wants.  Think about it on a personal level.  What would you like to see in a rep.  Probably someone like yourself right?"

"Oh hell no!  I'm too much in your face.  The way I sell doesn't always work.  No, I'd want someone who was direct but not too aggressive.  Someone who could talk to people and not piss them off.  And someone with patience.  I have no patience for people who can't make a decision. ", he said and then laughed again, but a little awkwardly.

"Wait, so you're saying you want someone unlike you? Aggressive but not overly aggressive and with a little more patience?"

" I guess so.", he said and looked a bit confused.  Here was a guy running a 30 million dollar region and for the first time he was indecisive.  Initially he looked dazed, then he got pissed.

" What the hell are you getting at partner? I'm not sure I like where this is going."

I had to bring him back, "Before you get upset, and I can tell you're getting upset.  Before today, how often did you think about what you're company needed in a sales rep?  Like what were the qualifications for a good rep.  How often did you think about it?"

"I didn't think about it at all."

"Bingo!  You didn't give a shit.  Pardon my French.  But in order for your region to succeed and to be successful in sales,  you have to think about it.  It's not your responsibility to fix the problem, but you should at least be thinking about it. "

"Well that's why we called you." he said not as mad, but still a little miffed.

"I think about this stuff all day long, but I don't run this organization.  You do.  And if you give a damn every once in a while, then everyone else will follow suit. If you don't give a shit, then they don't give a shit."

He looked at me long and hard, trying to intimidate me, but hell I already had a job, so what did I care if he was offended.  I was speaking the truth, and pretty soon he understood, and his stare went from hard to relaxed. 

"That makes sense. Lead by example.", he said and nodded his head.

" I'm not saying go in and give a rah rah speech to all your sales people.  Just think about what you want in a rep, and pass that message along.  Then people will start to care, if you care."

" I like this guy.  Smart, and a smart ass.  I should give him your job.", he said and pointed at the RM who said nothing, but chuckled a bit.

" So I think that's part of the issue here is that the perception is that anyone can sell and so you're hiring anybody TO sell.  It's not that easy. We need GREAT people to sell your product not just anybody."

" Keep talking." he said and smiled.

" So if I were to accept this position, I would start by changing the hiring standards, and find people who have all the characteristics of a sales rep.  And I wouldn't hire just anyone.  Because...?", and I held out my finger waiting for a response.

" Not just anyone can sell.", he finished my sentence.  " I get it. I get it.  When can you start?" was his next question.

" I would have to give notice, but I'm still interviewing.", I said and smiled.

" Well don't take too long the position won't be open for much longer.  It's down to you and two other candidates.", he said trying to forcibly close me.

" I won't. ", I answered.

   And I didn't.  I called his RM the very next day and declined the position.   I didn't want to work for an asshole like that anyway.  "Anyone can sell!"  FU!

-M

Why Sales Reps Hate CRM's

CRM's have been around for a while, but it wasn't until salesforce became a big data monster did sales reps even pay attention to what was entered into their company CRM. Well now you have to pay attention, because if you don't, it may cost you your job.

 "Good morning sales reps, and we want to know what you're doing every minute of every day including your days off, and if you don't want to do it.  Well, you're fired."

Dear Sales Manager, screw you and your stupid cloud.

I have worked with a number of different online territory management "tools", and salesforce is the best and the worst.  It's the best because it offers a lot of content and capability, if you know how to use it correctly.  It's the worst because now it makes your boss conscious of every move you make in the field, and it takes up all your time to "fill in the blanks" of your work day.  It's really not a tool for the sales team, but more of a way to track a rep's activity.  That's right I said it.

Everyone one who reads this and works with, or for a CRM, will be upset by that remark, and make comments on how effective it is in the field. Reps spend 5 hours a week in some cases just entering all the data required. And for what?  So the managers know what you're doing every minute, of every hour, of every day.  Why do they need to know that information, if you're selling? If you are not selling, rather than enter data into your CRM, maybe you should get off your butt and go out in the field to sell.  Companies really need a CRM so when you leave or get fired someone can pick up right where you left off.  That's it, in a nutshell.  Designers can tell me its made to assist reps, and believe me CRM's do help with information and scheduling, but really it's a management tool to monitor activity...not that there's anything wrong with that.  Sales reps are an asset and assets need to be managed.  I know that's cold but it's the truth.

So why do sales reps hate CRM's?  Because like anyone else we don't want to be a number, or just an asset to be monitored.  We want to feel like we're a person not a piece of property.

Years ago, after attending corporate training on a variety of subjects including hiatal hernias, and pressure ulcers. And yes I'm being serious.  I received a phone call and a corresponding email 9 months later informing me that I wasn't filling out the fields correctly in Salesforce. Subsequently this was confusing everyone, and by everyone I mean the people at corporate monitoring sales activity.  I, personally, wasn't confused with the information. but apparently the "watch dogs" at corporate didn't appreciate my brevity of sales data. I informed them that the hour session at corporate that they spent going over the damn thing wasn't really enough time to grasp what the hell I was supposed to be entering, and if they wanted it done correctly they might want to spend a little more than 60 minutes covering the subject.  On a phone call at 5 am Pacific Time, which didn't catch me in the best of moods, here is the answer I received:

"Go to Youtube and check out the online tutorials.  They'll explain how it works.", my corporate trainer advised me on how to resolve the issue.

"Wait.  What?  You want me to learn on my own because the training wasn't adequate enough at corporate?"

"There is a lot to cover for new hires and we rely on these videos to help you. You need to review the videos and then start entering in your contacts, events, opportunities, and information correctly."

"I'm at 120% to quota right now and you want me to spend one hour each day to learn Salesforce? Why?"

"What do you mean why?  Because you have to do it. That's why!  Everyone has to do it."

"But why? It doesn't make sense.  Wouldn't my time be better spent in the field?"

"I'm not your manager so I can't answer that question."

"Even if you are not my manager, how is this helping me sell accounts?"

"What do you mean?  It helps you track all of the information you have regarding accounts, and it has all your marketing pieces and you can even email people straight from salesforce.com.  It's an invaluable tool for the sales reps."

"I have a day planner for scheduling on my iphone which is synced to my laptop computer which helps me schedule appointments in Outlook, so why do I need salesforce.  Especially since we have a separate website dedicated to marketing pieces. So again, why do I need to use salesforce?"

"What?  You need salesforce because everything is in one place and it's a handy reference tool for the reps.  What do you mean?  You can track events and opportunities and see how much progress your making.  Are you saying you're not going to fill out the information?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying.  I'm saying that this is all BS.  Salesforce is not a tool for me it's a tool to track me. I have plenty of tools to help me; a laptop, a iphone, a sales binder. And if I don't know my opportunities off the top of my head and need a CRM to help me track them, then I'm a loser.  Salesforce isn't helping me, it's helping corporate keep an eye on me."

" No it's not.  I don't want to have this conversation anymore.  Do you want me to call your manager?", I could tell that my phone call was upsetting her.  It was as if I were questioning someone's faith. I could see that she had drank the CRM Kool-Aid.  But again, her job depended on that Kool-Aid.

"You can call her, but I asked her the same question.  Just admit that it's created to track our results and not to help us and I'll hang up the phone and review the tutorials."

"I will not say that.  It's an invaluable tool to help you schedule your day, manage your territory,  and assist you in the field."

"No it's not . It takes me out of the field and I can schedule my day on Outlook. It's designed so that all the relevant information I accumulate is saved for the company, if I leave or get fired.  Just say it and I'll hang up. C'mon admit it. You know it's true?", I said and then chuckled to try and keep things light.  She didn't respond in kind.

"I will not.  I'm calling your manager the minute we end this call and maybe you WILL get fired."

"Sorry, but they don't fire reps at 120%.  20% yes, but not 120%. If you say it's made to monitor my activity I'll hang up right now and review the tutorials."

"I won't.  I will say this, if you don't start filling it out correctly I will report it to the VP, which I'm going to do anyway and you'll be in trouble."

"Okay suit yourself.  I'll call my manager right now.  Thanks for the phone call and I'll review those tutorials just so I don't get in trouble."

"Good.  I'm glad you came to your senses.  Can I expect the information to updated by Monday of next week?"

"Sure.  Cause I'm sure everyone will be looking at it to make sure I'm entering in my data correctly, not whether I'm selling or not."

"Regardless of what you think.  It must done."

"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go now, I have to rearrange my schedule and cancel a few appointments this week so I can make sure I get my salesforce homework done.  Have a nice day."

"Your manager will be..." Click, and I hung up the phone.

"Hmmm. Must of dropped the call. FU and F salesforce."  I said to myself, and I went back to reviewing pictures of weird people at Walmart on Youtube.  There would be plenty of time to review the tutorials later. 

I think that gives you all a general idea of how many sales reps might feel about having to account for every second they are on the job.  It's time consuming and invasive.  If there were a company out there with any ambition, it might want to make the use of CRM's both fun and interactive for the reps.  The job is hard enough, but having to provide evidence of where you are at every minute is a pain in the ass, especially if you're above quota! We're sales reps not criminals.

Who out there has the right amount of ambition to make this happen?

Go To Meeting = Go To Sleep

Lately, I've had to participate in a number of Go To Meeting Webinars and I have to say I am very impressed with the technology and not at all impressed with the content.  This is a great tool for managers to completely bore the shit out of their field reps and to waste everyone's time by requiring you to be in front of a computer when we should be in front of a customer.  It is a wonderful tool to get your message across but it is overused by managers.

Here is a perfect example, I am on a Go To Meeting Webinar as I am writing this post.  That's right!  I am so damn bored with the content that I decided why not post something since I have the time and I am completely disinterested.  This is supposed to be a 2 hour meeting!  I don't know about you, but I can't sit for 2 hours in front of a computer, and I have the attention span of a 6 year old.  This is why I'm in sales.  Hello?  So I plan to do the dishes, clean up the bathroom, write a post, and watch some television while killing 2 hours of time listening to "blah, blah, blah, act with a sense of urgency, blah , blah, blah, we need to hit our quota." 

Last Friday,  I had to participate in three of these meetings.  Three!  I wasted a whole day in my home office attending meetings which gave me some information but not enough to justify me running around trying to meet with customers and then running home to attend a meeting.  A question you may have is "Why do you need to be at home?"  The answer is simple.  My phone dies during the meetings since it is functioning as a hotspot and working as a cell phone for the audio portions of the meeting.  The battery is drained in no time due to this dual function.  So home is the best way to keep the phone charged and utilize my home Internet connection to make sure I don't miss a thing.  Why?  Because these meetings and the content are so riveting!

One thing I learned early on in my sales and management career is not to lose the audience.  I try to feel out the people I'm speaking with, to make sure I have their attention, otherwise it's just a waste of my time and their time.  So my meetings are short and sweet.  I get my message across, interact with the audience, and try to keep the meeting moving swiftly.  In fact, I open the meeting by stating, "Please try not to fall asleep during the meeting."  Unfortunately other presenters are not as conscious of losing people's interest and so their meeting drone on until the participants want to smash their cell phones and kick in the monitor of their computers. 

I think my dog is more interested in these types of meetings then I am. And I'm sure that the rest of you would agree.  No one is paying attention during these meetings because they are intrusive and TOO LONG!  Most people are drinking coffee, cleaning their house, taking care of their kids, and getting ready for the day.  Some of them might even be having sex who knows.  I would love for everyone in "attendance" at these online meetings to turn on their webcams all at once, just to see what people are really doing.  I guarantee more than half, are not paying attention!  Why?  Boring, boring, boring.

I don't know about you but for me Go To Meeting = Go Do Something Else.

Have a good day selling and I hope you don't have too many meetings!

-M