Awkward...

Do not deny it.  We have all been in these situations socially where it's very awkward and you're not sure how to react.  Comical but very weird scenarios play out in every day life, and some of us are not exactly sure how to handle these situations.  Here are some that I come across on a daily basis.

Is She Pregnant? - Just last week, I ran into a charge nurse I was meeting for the first time and she looked pregnant, but I avoided asking her any pregnancy questions because I was unsure.  Let's face it, sometimes a woman can just be overweight and if you start asking, "How far along are you?  That could be trouble for you as a rep.  If she's not pregnant you just called her "fatty".  In order to avoid this scenario follow these simple steps:

1. Be Patient - Don't talk about pregnancy until she does.  This way you can avoid saying the wrong thing and she'll initiate the pregnancy talk.  It pays to be patient in these matters.  For example with the charge nurse we just started discussing regular things like patients, and she brought up that this would be her third child.  I didn't have to say a word.
2. Kid Talk - If you have kids then mention them, but don't say, "When I was pregnant..." , or "When my wife was pregnant", that is an immediate sign you think they're pregnant, and if you're wrong...appointment over!
3. Belly Talk - If you think they're just overweight, don't start discussing diets you've been on in the past.  This is a poor way to tip them off that you think they need to lose some weight.  Subtly, you're screaming at them, "You should be on that show The Biggest Loser!"

Which Eye Is Looking At Me? - I have run into this scenario A LOT!  It seems that America has a problem with a certain percentage of the population have "wall eyes", or in more clinical terms, divergent strabismus.  It means one eye is looking at you while the other one, which has a different agenda, is staring at the wall.  I have a hard time adjusting when confronted with a person having this condition because I never know which eye is the good one!  My focus varies back and forth, and this happened to me just a month ago.  I was speaking to a young woman in Materials Management, and I thought I was focusing on the "good eye", when it went trailing off towards the wall! 

So then I started focusing my gaze on the other eye and it did the same thing!  Finally, I just spoke to her and fixed my gaze upon the bridge of her nose.  Thankfully her eyes didn't cross otherwise I would have lost my concentration and started laughing.  A good tip here is to focus on the nose, not the eye or eyes. 

Where's The Limb? - About 6 months ago, I had a big appointment with another rep and we were going to meet the head of the supply chain for a large hospital group.  She had known him for a long time and this was my first meeting so I was a little bit nervous, but still kept calm and carried on.  When she introduced us, I held out my right hand in an offer for a hand shake but he was missing his right hand!  He held out his left and grabbed my right hand and shook it awkwardly and raised his arm.  Almost as if he was raising my hand triumphantly and that I had won a boxing match.  For a few seconds I lost my train of thought but quickly got it back, and the meeting went well.

Afterwards I asked her, "Do you think it might have been wise for you to mention Scott was missing his right hand?  That's a tidbit of information I would like to have know before the call."

She said, "I've known him so long, I don't even notice that any more."

"Yeah well I certainly noticed.  We shook hands like he was a referee and I was a boxer."

"I thought it was funny."

"Good for you. Happy to be here for your amusement.", I said and we both got a kick out of the situation.

    When confronted by a missing limb, a body part, or any physical condition not normally seen, just act normal and don't stare at the person.  It makes the situation that much more awkward.  Once when I encountered a guy who was missing a foot, I kept looking at the leg and wondering, "Where the hell is the damn foot?", as if he'd lost it under the table.  He finally noticed my fixation on his leg and said, "Did you lose something", I had to stop myself before I said, "No but you did."

Guess The Gender? - I had a customer years ago that would vacillate between being a man and then a woman.  One week he was Frank and the next week she was Leslie.  You would have thought he/she would have just called himself Leslie full time since the name is androgynous. So he/she would dress like a man than a woman, and then it just got weird.  She would dress like a woman, but looked like a man in woman's clothing.  He/she wasn't even trying hard at that point, and she/he was obviously confused. When dressed as a woman Leslie would wear no make up at all and not even do her nails.  When dressed as a man, Frank would wear eyeliner and some make up. It was a bizarre situation, and so finally, I just gave up trying to figure out exactly what gender she/he was since he/she couldn't decide.  As a matter of fact, I'm still confused.

If you're unclear on the sex of a person do not:

• Ask For Clothing Preferences - This is a dead giveaway that you suspect they are concealing something...literally.  They will shut down and stop talking to you almost immediately.
• Question What They Were Like As A Child - Absolutely avoid childhood memories because sometimes this can be painful for people who are gender confused.  Do not ask if they played with soldiers or dolls, or if their parents beat them. I know what sex I am and even I wouldn't answer those invasive questions.  
• Ask Probing Questions - These people are very private, so don't delve into what movie stars they like either male or female because chances are they might like both genders.  Remember they are asexual like a Hydra so their answers might leave you more confused then ever.

Buffalo Chip Breakfast? - How many times have you spoken to a customer or patient and their breath is so rancid you feel like throwing up?  For me this happens a lot.  Not just because there is quite a large percentage of the population who aren't aware of the odor suppressing qualities of breath mints, but some people eat food that doesn't agree with their gastrointestinal tract.  I find that this is a lot more common than the other awkward situations.   Here's some tips on how to deal with bad breath:

• Offer Gum - I carry gum with me at all times, and so I always offer them a piece.  Why?  Because gum is less offensive than offering a breath mint.  They might not think they have bad breath, so offering gum does not mean you are passing judgment on them.
• Breathe Through Your Mouth - I can remember one incident with a potential customer where the stench was so bad the other rep had to leave the room.  It was like sour milk was seeping from the walls of the room.  I had to start breathing slowing through my mouth to get through the call, and the rep excused himself to make a phone call.  When I left the room he said, "Dude I went in the bathroom and was dry heaving.  How did you make it through that call?"  I replied, "I'm a mouth breather", to which he nodded his agreement.  I wasn't sure if that was an insult but I took it as a compliment.

This is a just a few of the awkward situations we all run into during the course of a business day.  The trick to being a good rep is not let these little instances divert your attention from your ultimate goal: making the sale.

Have a great day selling!

-M

Why People Buy Your Product Or Service?

Traditionally when you read an analysis of the reasons why people buy, the focus generally is upon consumer goods, and retail sales.  Brand Managers will give you a much different answer as to why people buy retail items, than a sales "guru" claiming to know business to business sales.  The sales cycles are different, and the commitment can be much larger in business to business sales. By the way, I do not claim to be a sales "guru", I'm just a sales person.  One thing I've noticed about sales "experts" or sales "gurus" is they like to quote themselves a lot, and generally they are egotistical assholes.  I'm an asshole but not terribly egotistical...maybe marginally?

Regardless, this post is about business to business sales, and the reasons why people buy, however if you are in retail sales some of the ideas expressed might be applicable to the retail environment.  It all depends on how you want to use the information.  I came across an article in a business magazine and I have listed below the consensus reasons why people buy:

1. They like the Sales Person - Whoa!  What a surprise...not.  Of course that's the number one reason, otherwise they wouldn't even talk to you. Naturally they need to like you in order for you to sell your product or service. I wonder how much research people did to figure this one out.  Thank you to all the sales "geniuses" out there for pointing this one out: Mr./Mrs. Obvious.
2. They believe the product has value - Well that's another obvious reason.  Did they really do any research here?  I mean c'mon why else would you buy something if you didn't think it added value to your business or your life. The research for this article is very relevant but they didn't seem to be enlightening me too much.
3. They trust their sales person - Okay this is a big one.  First of all if they like you that's one thing but if they trust you that's a whole different "ballgame".  Lots of people I like but I trust no one, not even family; especially family.  So how do you build trust?  Here's a tip: don't lie to them!  Don't promise anything you can't deliver on, and don't make up some story to cover your ass.  Be Terribly Transparent.
4. They are trying to reduce costs - Not all people buy things based on price but costs is a major consideration, notably in today's economy.  Businesses are trying to pinch every penny and so the price or cost of a product can be very important.  It's important to note that people want to reduce costs but they also will not sacrifice quality.  In other words they want it cheap but with all the benefits. 
5. They believe the product or service will help their business - Well who the heck convinced them the product or service was better?  You did!  Great job Ms/Mr./Mrs. Sales Rep!  The products/services don't sell themselves so someone had to go in their and differentiate themselves and convinced the buyer they were different.  Again nothing new here, but more of the obvious.

From this article I got a definite understanding that the sales person plays a distinct role in all of these reasons, why people or businesses, buy a product or service.  And yet businesses are trying to reduce staff and bring people in house to make sales.  Why?  They're fucking cheap that's why.  Anything to save a dollar, but in the long run it just ends up costing the company sales revenue.  A telemarketer is a great resource but nothing beats "feet on the street".  With the age of sales 2.0 computer nerds will try to convince businesses that there is no need for a sales person...wrong. How is a telemarketer going to do an in service with a doctor or show a person how to use a product over the phone?  Sales 2.0 can work in some cases but I'll take a sales person any day of the week over a person on the phone.  After all, you can't believe everything you hear, especially on the Internet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmx4twCK3_I

Have a great day selling!

-M

Social Media Policies and Practice

No doubt all of you at some time or another have heard about the employee who posted a picture like this on facebook and eventually was fired for being an idiot.  No this is not a personal picture but one that was purchased so don't get any salty ideas in those devious little brains of yours. My life is not that exciting.

The recent company I was hired on at, even had me read a 10 page Social Media Policy handbook. Which simply stated don't be stupid and post something that you'll regret.  In the age of Twitter, facebook, and other social media, including blogs, it's best to remain in the dark and keep your company in the dark as well.  There is no point in embarrassing yourself or the company.  Here's a couple of tips regarding social media:

1. Privacy Settings:  Make sure that if you're on facebook, or Linkedin, or twitter that you share only with your friends or people you actually want to see your posts.  Facebook changes settings daily so be careful of this stuff.  In addition, facebook also lists your cell phone number to other parties, so if you don't want people to know this information, be sure to change your privacy settings.  I don't need another scam where people call my cell phone, and tell me that I won a $1,000 Best Buy gift card and all I have to do is hand over my social security number and address....uh right!  And yes that is a scam if you get a call like that in the future.  It's best to be minimal in describing yourself or listing your personal information. 
2. Keep it Relatively Clean - Don't be stupid and post videos like "Two Girls One Cup" on any page.  First of all, it makes you want to throw up, and secondly, I don't post anything I wouldn't want my parents to see. They don't need to see me in compromising positions, or with students that have duct tape over their mouths like the teacher who was suspended in Ohio. Believe me, I share a lot with my parents even though they are old: they still have a sense of humor, and they probably wouldn't be alarmed by a picture of students with duct tape over their mouths. My mom would just say, "Oh look at this silly picture.  First of all that duct tape is not even on straight and secondly he/she's not even a teacher." 
3. Affiliations:  I don't even list my company on my facebook page because I don't want some creep checking out where I work or what I do for a living.  I know that the many people are very open about everything but here's a tip "NOT EVERY STALKER NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO GET TO YOU." Especially if you're a woman.  I wouldn't list shit, and I wouldn't post where I was at, because there are plenty of weirdos out there in the world.  You don't need some person approaching you after you've had a few cocktails at a bar which was posted on facebook, and then he/she slips a "roofie" in your drink.   Remember, even your "friends" can have creepy friends.
4. Personal vs Business:  I believe it's best two have two profiles on facebook, one personal and one business, and the same applies to twitter handles.  If you want to keep your personal life private, I would recommend this for sure.  There's no sense in embarrassing yourself or your company with even the slightest misplaced word or picture. People nowadays are easily offended, and especially online. It's very simple to create a page or a handle as long as you have two email addresses.  In fact, it's a good idea since you don't want to offend any of your business affiliates.   
5. Know Who Your Friends Are: I have some business friends on facebook but only because I trust they have just as twisted and weird a sense of humor as I do.  So I'm selective with my business friends, and I know too that they have just as much weird stuff on their page as well.  In fact, I have one associate who always posts pictures of where she's at during the day, and it's almost always during work hours. She posts pictures of cocktails, the beach, her dog, and then after seeing each post, I'm thinking, "If she's friends with anyone in the company who has a big mouth, she's fired for sure. I'm not going to say anything but someone else might?" Know who your friends are and DON'T POST PICTURES DURING WORK HOURS, UNLESS THEY ARE OF YOU WORKING! Are you seriously that dumb?

Just a few tips to keep you out of hot water...and I'm not even sure they'll work, but it's better to be safe then sorry.  Now I have to go and change a few settings and delete a few friends...

Have a great day selling!

-M

"Is That Your Baby?"..."No It's My Dog"

If you've read any of my earlier blog posts, you know that I have a dog, and I take her to the dog park 2-3 times per week.  So therefore you can label me a "dog person".  However do not lump me in with some of the overly zealous "dog freaks", that I meet regularly at the dog park.  Maybe it's the California sun which has baked their minds,  but some of these people are frigging weird.

A few weeks ago, as I was entering the park, I good looking couple was standing near the entrance, and as I let my dog into the park the gentleman bent down and naturally my dog went over to him, because she's an extremely social animal...unlike me.  He bent down and she put her paws on his knees and started licking his face which he seemed to enjoy a great deal, almost too much.  If he had known that she had just ate cat shit about ten minutes earlier, I don't think he would have allowed her to redeposit the cat's fecal matter onto his lips and face.  However, I wasn't going to share that bit of what I considered "useless" information.

"Does doggy like to give kisses?" he kept saying as my dog wagged her tail and lick at his face, "Oh yes doggy likes to give kisses.  Yes oh yes doggy likes to give kisses.", he said in a weird child like but almost Buffalo Bill, "Silence of The Lambs", type of voice.  It was a bit disturbing to me, but his wife seemed to be enjoying this almost vulgar display of human and canine interaction.  I was tempted to ask that the two of them get a hotel room.

My dog continued to dote on him, and he asked, "Is this your baby?"

This question confounded me since I could clearly see that this was a dog, so I answered, "What?"

"Is this your baby?", he said and he held my dog's head in his hands and scratched her ears.

"Uh no.  It's my dog. If that's what you mean?", I said a bit confused by his obvious confusion about the classification of the two species.  Having read dog books I knew my dog was a member of canis lupus familiaris species, while a baby was a homo sapien.

"Oh no. That's what I meant.  Is this your dog?"

"I was confused.  Yes that's my dog.  Yep that's her", I said awkwardly and stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"Such a beautiful baby", he said and kept scratching the dog's ears. I don't know why, but I was reminded of a scene from the movie "Swingers", and envisioned Vince Vaughn and my dog in an embrace.

"That's our boy over there.", his wife said and she pointed to a good looking German short haired Pointer that was running nearby.  "Come here Brody", she called and the dog came running over.  My dog stopped licking the man's face and ran over to play with their dog.  The two took off running together, and all three of us watched the two dogs run across the park.

"Oh their friends already.", the wife said and smiled, "Isn't that cute. Brody will be so much fun for your dog.  All the dogs here love him."  It's hilarious how she kept referring to her dog by his name as if he were a dog park star or something.  I wondered when he would be going "on tour".

"That's great.  I'm sure they'll have fun together, my dog is pretty sociable.", trying to make doggy small talk.

"Oh that's good.  Look at how beautifully they run together.  Awww isn't that cute, Brody is slowing down so your dog can keep up.  Brody is such a good playmate." , the husband said and I was starting to get a little bit worried about where this creepy conversation was going.  After all, who uses the word 'beautiful' to describe two dogs playing.

My dog and Brody were having a good time playing and they were chasing one another around the park and nipping at each others heels, when the wife chimed in, "Look at how smart Brody is when he plays.  He sees where the other dog is going and immediately moves out of the way to avoid her.  Brody is so smart.  Those classes and doggy toys we got him are really helping."

I had to ask, "What?  You send your dog to school?  You mean like a training school?"

She laughed, as if my response was absurd, "Oh no. Not training school.  Brody's such a smart dog he doesn't need training.  It's a school for hyper intelligent dogs. They do tests and training, and play games with the dogs to increase their memory and problem solving abilities."

I laughed, incredulous to the fact that these people would actually send their dog to be schooled on something other than training.  Why do dogs need to solve problems?

"Really?  They have like a school that dogs go to learn to solve problems? Is he going to be a project manager or something? Seriously? Are you hoping to get him into a good college?"

The husband was irritated, "Laugh if you want, but since we had him tested for intelligence and started the courses Brody is so much smarter than all the other dogs here."

I laughed again, "Really?  Well let me know when his book comes out.  Maybe I'll read it."

"Laugh all you want.  I'll bet our Brody is smarter than your dog.", he said angrily.  Obviously my flippant disregard for his dog's genius was upsetting him.

I looked over and saw Brody eating poop off the ground that another dog had recently deposited on the grass.

"My dog may not go to school, but at least she's smart enough not to eat poop.  Good luck with those classes", I said and called my dog and she came running over.
 
She followed happily, as I walked her over to the "dumb" side of the dog park, where the dogs didn't eat shit. People are absurd.

Have a great day selling!

-M

Tips from Qyoda: ScanBizCards App

Occasionally I, meaning me-Qyoda, will come across business applications that can help all of you out in the field.  Well ScanBizCards is definitely a great tool for reps who don't like taking the time to key in all the information from each business card. The process is so time consuming, not to mention BORING.   ScanBizCards is a wonderful application that allows you to take a picture of a business card with your phone, and then the application scans the card, and enters the information into your contact list.  What's even better, is it enters in about 95% of the information correctly, such as email address, account name, phone number, fax number, job title etc., and it does it all in about a minute or less.  If the contact name has a lot of letters and titles after it, such as King of Prussia, or Imperial Leader of the Galactic Empire, that information won't be transferred so easily.

I wish I would have discovered this app 500 years ago. It would've saved me a lot of time, which I could have spent defending the Jedi Knights against the Empire. At that time, I would rather have had a light saber in my hand then a mouse or a keyboard.

However that's not all you get with this application!  That's right kids, you can export the information on your card to salesforce.com .

"Holy crap Qyoda, You mean I don't have to transfer that information into salesforce.com, because the application does it for me?!"

Yes it does.  Now it is exported to salesforce as a lead but then all you have to do is convert the lead to a contact  and attach it to either an existing account or create a new one.  It's that easy.  I love this application and you will too.  There is a free version that allows you to only scan 2 cards per week, but for my needs I purchased the premium application which is $6.99.  This premium version will back up your cards, allow you to email information, sync your data with LinkedIn, and all kinds of other cool stuff.

If you don't want to be a data entry clerk, I would buy this application now for your iPhone or Android phone, and start saving time today.

http://www.scanbizcards.com/

Have a great weekend!

-Q

Motivating Yourself-Move It Or Lose It!

A few years back I was at a Sales Conference, and yes I do occasionally amuse myself by going to one or two conferences to actually learn something new. Throughout the conference, this particularly pressed, perky, pumped up, little pain in the ass, starting talking about how great a sales rep she was, which naturally pissed me off.  I hate arrogance.  I like confident people, but I hate arrogant people.  If you're talking about yourself and your accomplishments without anyone asking, then you're an arrogant jerk.  And naturally she fit the bill perfectly.  She was constantly getting up and speaking out of turn in the general session, and speaking particularly about what she did, and how she was able to help people, and how she...you get the picture. Consequently, I couldn't keep my mouth shut during our round table session, when she was seated right across the table from me.  Our discussion topic was "What Motivates A Great Sales Person?"

"Terri, you've been telling us all how great you're doing.What makes you such a great salesperson?"

She stood up from her chair to ensure that she would be the center of every one's attention. " Well, uhm, I'm sorry I can't remember your name.", she was obviously blind, or didn't care to read my name tag.

" It's right here on the tag.", I said and pointed at my GIANT name tag.  People in the room started laughing. As a sidebar, I  think conference organizers make tags large enough for a person to read them across a crowded room. Subsequently,  for her not to know my name was absurd, or she was just so involved with herself and her own agenda, she didn't care to know my name. I believe this was probably closer to the truth.   

" Oh right, it's M.  My bad.  Well M, if you must ask.  It's because I'm super motivated everyday, and it's infectious.", and as she said this she made a fist pump, and then actually hopped forward like a well dressed bunny rabbit.  Wow! She was so annoying.

" So if you're super motivated how do you motivate yourself." I asked in the most droll and boring voice ever to illicit a reaction.

" I can see you're not a motivated person like I am M. I can sense it in your voice." she said and then made a frown and continued by imitating me, "How do you motivate yourself? M you sound like you don't want to be here first of all.  That's your problem.".  A few people chuckled uncomfortably, but I just laughed along with her. 

" I didn't realize I had a problem but thank you for pointing that out Terri.  Since I'm apparently a social idiot who needs motivation can you explain how you stay super motivated.", I said loudly, gave her a little fist pump, and then smiled broadly with a great deal of fake enthusiasm cocking my head to the side. 

"I just get up every day and greet it with a smile, and then carry that with me into the field.  People always react well when you smile, and I have a great smile so people just like me naturally.  Smiling is a great icebreaker.  You should try it sometime." , she said and gave me a smile but then rolled her eyes, and at this point no one at the table was laughing.

" Okay well Terri.  I didn't realize this was going to be a personal attack on me, but since we're going down that road.  Can you please give an emotionless loser like myself some better advice than to just smile more.  I  really think there has to be more to motivation than that."

She looked perplexed at first and was definitely confused by my question, "I'm not sure what I do to stay motivated.  It just comes naturally to me.  I greet everyday with enthusiasm. I guess I'm just lucky to be born so perky." And again she gave us all a fake smile.

One of the other participants chimed in, "As you can tell not all of us are born so...perky as you put it.  I'm just wondering what is it that keeps a rep motivated."

"I don't know what is I do each day buy I'm always so excited!", Terri said and jumped up again.

"Cocaine maybe?", I answered and she gave me a dirty look, while everyone at the table chuckled.

"Terri since you have so much energy, grab that white board and we'll all write down what motivates a great sales person.", I said, and I phrased it politely so she couldn't get upset.  She rushed to the white board and grabbed a marker. We wrote down what we perceived were 7 key motivators for reps and why. They are listed in no discernible order because they all seem to motivate people to varying degrees:

• Money - Despite what everyone thinks, this is still probably the key motivator in every one's life.  I know there are theoretical people who will argue that Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose are the key intrinsic motivators to people's work, but they live on the planet Theory and not Earth.  Money makes the world go round, and with it, you can provide a better life for yourself and your family. 
• Family-In the age of "Generation Me", family is still very important to people.  No matter how much we value our own lives, we value the lives of our children more and we want to be able to provide for them.  If you're a rep and you need motivation, take a picture of your kids with you when you're out in the field and that will motivate you pretty quickly.
• Security-In light of the decline of Social Security, Medicare, and pensions, people need to feel secure as they get older, and making a good living with do that for people.  Having a job today in lieu of all the layoffs in recent years in good incentive to keep a rep motivated.  No one wants to be struggling to make ends meet in today's business environment.  People want to feel safe and secure in their current position, and working hard is a good way to start. 
• Recognition-Sales people have egos.  Boy do we have egos!  And when we are recognized for doing well, we let everyone know how great we are.  We party and celebrate, and tell everyone what we did, and if we win an award, you can bet we're going to place that thing where everyone can see it.  Maybe even mount it on the hood of our car.  Recognition is a key motivator for reps. 
• Fear-Fear is always a motivator for any job.  Fear that you're going to fail, fear that you'll be fired, fear that you'll be laid off, and fear of your boss.  It's a sad fact that it still motivates us, but in the wrong ways, and eventually people leave a job where there working with fear as a main motivator.  That type of environment provides too much stress for most people to handle.
• Competition- Many reps I've met are former athletes, cheerleaders(men and women), so they are naturally motivated by competition.  They want to out perform their peers so they can win awards, receive a raise, and be recognized for their achievements.  I remember as a manager, I was motivated to kick this one manager's ass every year, because he was an asshole, and I don't like assholes.  So my goal was to be the best in the region, but mainly my goal was to be higher than him in the standings every year.  And when he was fired, I had to find another thing to motivate me, because there weren't any assholes left in the region.  Weird story, but true. 
• Autonomy-Many people are in sales because of the autonomy of the job.  They embrace it! It allows them to be free with their schedule, and to really take responsibility for their own success or failure. For me, it allows me to virtually run my own business, give myself raises, and partake in my own success.  A lot of reps I've noticed get caught up in what happens at corporate, but for me I try to focus on what I can control and what works.  Plus if you're a good rep and you don't like the direction corporate is taking, you have the autonomy to leave and find a better job.  Autonomy is a great motivator especially in the sales environment.

By the way if you're not motivated by any of these things, you're probably an alien, and you might need to consider returning to your home planet.

Have a good week selling!

-M

Homeland Security Or Salesforce Nazi's. What's The Difference?

I just left another company to return to more familiar territory and I am so happy.  First of all, at my most recent employer,  I was in the top ten in the country and not making any money based on some weird commission structure. Consequently I returned to the company I had worked for two years ago.   Smart move on my part.  Why?  I was just informed that my company had implemented a new "Strategic Call Initiative" to all the reps.  What does that mean?  It means "get ready to be micro managed until you quit or get fired."  Fortunately for me, I found another job right when they made this transition so I don't have to put up with the bullshit.  The reps are now required to log all their calls into salesforce.com... from the field!  What's funny is management is not even trying to hide the fact that they want the reps to do this in order to track their sales rep's position.  In other words track them via GPS! What is this an episode of "Homeland?"  Are Carrie and Brody going to show up and arrest a rep who isn't logging in their calls properly?

What is even more bizarre is the message management is sending to the field. "We don't trust you to manage yourselves or your time so we're going to do it for you."

 I think the Communists had more freedom under Stalin than this blatant form of salesforce fascism.  Here's a clue to all sales managers, junior and senior. MICRO MANAGEMENT DOES NOT WORK!  Here's why:

• It Turns Reps Into Liars - If you're a manager and you tell a rep he has to do 10 calls per day or even 20 cold calls per day, they just start making shit up. So why do it?  I'll tell you why, because the manager is an idiot who doesn't trust his/her reps.  If a sales rep doesn't want to work he/she won't make money and will eventually be fired.  Whether they log in 20 calls per day or 2.  If they don't work, they get fired.  Sales is about results...NOT ACTIVITY! If a rep isn't working instead he/she is just going to get creative with the calls they supposedly make during the day.  Do you want people working and telling the truth, or do you want them sitting at home putting more effort into creating a story then Nicolas Sparks.  I would rather have a rep producing sales than producing lines on a page. If management wants screenwriters, just try to micro manage sales reps, and the management team will read more bullshit on salesforce.com than you'll find after the bulls run in Pamplona. 
• Do You Want Sales Reps Or Data Entry Clerks - If a rep is on salesforce.com throughout the day, logging in calls on his/her phone or computer, then when are they selling?  I know that it's getting easier and easier to log these calls but if as a manager, I have reps more worried about keying in data then selling product, they're no good to me or my company.  Logging calls should be short,sweet, and simple, not an arduous task where you have to input who you called on, what was discussed, and what is the next course of action.  If I wanted a data entry clerk I would hire a nerd straight out of high school with an aptitude for computers, not a sales rep. Simply put, logging in sales calls,  IS data entry, and it has nothing to do with sales. The philosophy here is that if you have a lot of activity, eventually you'll sell something.  Personally I would rather shoot a sniper rifle at a sales target then a shotgun full of buckshot.  I can be more deadly with a rifle. If you don't get the analogy please don't ever purchase a gun. 
• It Alienates Your Entire Sales Team - If managers think some reps have a bad attitude and they implement this nonsense, they are sure to piss off every rep in the country.  Why do you think sales reps choose their profession?  For the freedom to manage their own work schedule! Any manager who doesn't know this is a moron.  Ask a senior manager how they would respond if he/she were asked to log in calls from the field, and I guarantee they wouldn't like it one bit!  It's hypocritical for them to ask the same thing of their sales reps.  The reason work in the sales profession is so they can manage themselves and manage their own lives.  If you can manage yourself and your time you can be a successful rep. It's about freedom.  If management takes this away from a rep, then it just upsets the rep and they will inevitably leave the company.  
• Do Not Confuse Activity With Results - When I was a young and inexperienced sales manager, I always assumed sales was about the numbers.  It was about the activity.  So I rode my reps like plow horses to get activity from them...and they hated me.  What's even worse is that I had them focused on all this activity and never on the final result.  So what happened?  My numbers were so bad, I finally had a meeting and I asked my reps, "Obviously our focus on activity is not working.  So what do you think we should do to get better results.  And I want honest answers."  Maybe that was the wrong thing to say but they gave me candid responses:
• "Get off our asses about the stupid call logs.  We can't be writing pre and post call plans for every frigging call.  It takes up time when you're doing ten appointments per day.  Sales reps don't like paperwork that's why we're in sales. " 
• "When we spend 30% of our time logging in calls, when are we supposed to market to our bigger accounts?  When we're sleeping? I need to hit my top ten targets with seeding pieces and I don't have time when I'm logging in calls all day and night."
• "When I sell a big account don't cheer me one minute and then chew my ass out for not filling out all my call log the rest of the day.  It just pisses me off.  I had just sold a big account and one minute your praising me and the next minute you're asking what the fuck is wrong with me, and why can't I fill out an activity report. "
• " Get a new tie.  I hate that stupid brown one you always wear. It looks like a dog took a shit on your shirt.  Go out with me, we will sell an account and I'll buy you a new tie, but please don't wear that thing anymore."  I gotta big kick out of that one.  And I did go buy a new tie.  And the next year, after I eased up a bit, we were #1 in the region.  
• Micro Management Is Micro Minutia - In light of the changes in the sales arena in recent years, and the advent of Sales 2.0, everyone seems to think Sales is now a science.  Sales is a science but activity is not what will always lead to results.  There a many components to the sales process and a happy and engaging sales force is the best weapon to have in you want to increase your numbers.  I can remember as a new sales manager there were times when I was so bogged down with paperwork that I couldn't leave the office!  There was always one more call to make, one more conference call to be on, or one more report to file.  I was buried in minutia, and I never wanted my reps to get caught up in the same type of scenario.  So I made sure they weren't bogged down with entering data, keying in orders, writing up presentations.  I assisted them as much as I could so they could focus on the more important things...like selling!

I am so glad I will not be participating in the "Micro Management Marathon" at my previous employer.  I'm sure there will be a lot of fierce competitors, and many contenders, but unfortunately it's hard to run a marathon in lead shoes.  Because management has just shackled their reps with a bunch of clerical duties and not given them the freedom they need to be successful.  Can you say the word "implosion", because that's what I see in the company's future.  

Have a great day selling!

-M