What's Humane about Human Resources?

       Recently,  I have been on a job search again, and I've noticed a progression over the years towards the de-humanization of Human Resources at almost every company to which I apply.  Now I may upset more than a few people with this article, including my sister, who was once head of a Human Resource department. However in my opinion,  "HR" people are not the best representation of a company. In fact, I can state with credibility that they are sometimes the worst choice to represent your company.


      For example,  when I would recruit at universities and colleges in the Los Angeles area, notably USC, UCLA, Pepperdine, and others, I never liked to bring an HR person. Why?  Because half the time they are eliminating candidates based upon some random behavior they noted in an interview.  After screening candidates a few years back, I sat down with our HR Director and we reviewed a pool of candidates.
HR Director: "I don't like this guy, he stared at me too long during the interview.  I think he would scare away customers."
Me: "Isn't eye contact good?"
HR Director: "Yes, but not this kind.  His right eye barely moved.  It was frightening. It had this glaze over, almost kinda dead look to it."
Me: "Really?  You do realize that he has a fake eye?  He mentioned it to us last time we were on campus."
HR Director: "Oh! Hmmmm.  I guess he's okay then. Sorry I didn't know that."
Me: " You did the screening!  Aren't these your notes on the back of the resume?"
HR Director: " Oh yeah.  We see so many people it's hard to remember them all."
Me: " I see.  Yeah we interview so many people with fake eyes I can see where you might miss one."


    They spend more time disqualifying candidates rather than trying to hire them.  It's called "weeding".  They want to make sure they weed out all the bad candidates to get to the good ones.  The problem is there is so much room for discretionary judgement, and I'm not so certain HR people are as objective as you might think.  The following conversation was one I had with an HR person following a recruiting trip to Pepperdine.


HR: "I don't like this girl.  She's European, and she's way too pretty for this position."
Me: "I thought we were sticking to just the qualifications and not focusing on the people yet."
HR: "We are, but I don't see her as working out.  She'll manipulate people into buying, and she won't sell them."
Me: " Wow.  You really think so?  How long was your interview with her."
HR: " Like 10 minutes.  But I can glean a lot from a person in ten minutes."
Me: " Really?  Glean? Are you Edward from the movie "Twilight"?"
HR: " Very funny.  I wish I could do that.  I love that movie.  But I don't love this candidate.  She's not the right fit."
Me: " And what's your basis for that judgement?  Because the sales rep and the sales manager liked her."
HR: " European background.  I'm not sure she understands the American work ethic.  They all get 8 weeks vacation over there you know.  It's a red flag. Too pretty and too European. We should pass on her."
Me: " Okay, yeah no, I'm going to move her forward in the process."


(It was a good thing I did move her forward because the candidate turned out to be a great management trainee)


Human Resources is really no longer about humans.  It is now more about the resource.  People have developed this field into a science, almost like geology, however here we are "mining" people.  In fact, Human Resources is a business major at many college and universities.   I guess technically it is now a science. Well trained Human Resource specialists are searching for a diamond in a pile of coal, or a nugget of gold surrounded by clumps of pyrite.  It is a difficult task and not everyone can do a good job of finding that "mother lode".  That's why during the Gold Rush not that many people got rich. It's a crap shoot.


Recently, I've been receiving a lot of calls from company recruiters. I find it ironic when HR recruiters from companies identify themselves to me as Talent Acquisition Specialists. What is this a theater company?  During an interview with one of these "talent acquisition specialists", I told him I wasn't a good dancer, as a joke, and he responded in a dead pan voice:
"You don't need that skill set for this position." I nearly dropped my phone  and the call!
Are you acquiring talent or are you just screening out what you determine as poor talent? It's hard to determine talent when your only interview is over the phone.  Would a movie director hire an actor without a screen test? Heck no!  I always do well on phone interviews, but can you really get an idea of how well a person will perform a job over a fiber optic network? 


I think the problem with Human Resource personnel is they see so many bad candidates that it's difficult for them to determine which one's are good anymore.  They spend so much of their days dealing with the negative aspects of business such as the firings, downsizing, disciplinary actions, that they can no longer "relate" to people. In fact, I would argue that they ostracized themselves so they can remain objective.


 HR employees cannot and will not empathize with employees because it's too painful for them on a personal level, and it would make their job that much more difficult if they saw a person sitting in front of them as more then a number.  This is a major problem in this field and why it needs a paradigm shift, especially in this economy.  With so many layoffs, firings, and dips in the economy more than ever we need to put a humane face of the science of Human Resources.  Let's put the H back into HR.


-M

Are You In The Right Profession FOR YOU?!

     “Why sales for God’s sake?”  This was my father’s first reaction when I told him that I was going to give up my life as a successful Service Manager, and venture into sales.  He saw it as a demotion, a step down, an end to my successful career.  I saw it as something different.  My perception was that it was “easy money”.  I found out pretty quickly that it is definitely not easy.  It can be “easy money” but it takes a long time, and a lot of experience, before you get to the point where this job is somewhat easy.  Seriously, it is a lot of hard work.  It doesn’t get easy until you’re established and that can take YEARS!

     And I know what you newbies are thinking, “He’s not me.  I’m better than him.  I’m gonna be the best and fast. Hell I’m already the best!”  It’s funny how right out of the gate new reps think they’ve got it down.  Well ask yourself this one question new girl/guy: “Can I handle pressure?”  Because that’s what sales is about: pressure.  Applying pressure, receiving pressure, the pressure of a number hanging over your head AT ALL TIMES.  The pressure to succeed in persuading people to your point of view, hourly, daily, monthly, yearly, knowing you’re only as good as your last sale.  It’s not easy and not everyone can sell.  It’s a unique profession, and one that is learned and earned. 

     So before you read any more posts, make sure YOU WANT TO BE IN SALES.  Don’t give me that ridiculous adage, “I’m good with people”. I hear that all the time in interviews.  “My friends told me I’m good with people so I should try sales.”   Every time I hear that from a candidate I want to lean over the desk and slap them upside the head.  But I can’t do this for obvious legal reasons.  This is an answer from someone who really doesn’t know what they want to do with their career.   A person, who is deferring a life changing choice to someone else.  Do you know who else is good with people: DOGS.  Dogs are great with people, in fact, dogs are better than you are with people.  But I won’t be buying my next car, cell phone, couch, computer, furniture, software, or any other consumable product from a dog.  Hopefully, I’ll be buying it from one of you.  

    If you're floundering in the sales profession and you're not happy, there's nothing wrong with doing something else.  In fact, I would recommend it.  Not everyone can sell, and that for me, is a good thing.

-M

Too cool for school: AKA "THE TOPPER"

We've all worked with one jackass or another that always has to top the story that you're telling with one of their own.  As if anything you do, they can do better.  Like Betty Hutton in "Annie Get Your Gun".  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO23WBji_Z0&feature=related

    I love that video, but these people don't necessarily have to be colleagues either, they can be friends, classmates, or even relatives.  The worst ones are always going on about what they did, or who they saw.  It's just so annoying.  And with these types of people who are so into themselves, you should NEVER,NEVER,NEVER, confirm their friend request on facebook.  You are just asking for stupid updates every 5 minutes from them about what they're doing, where, they're going, etc.  Do I give a shit if you're at Starbucks or Coffee Bean?  NO!

    So I ran into an old colleague of mine from years back, he was actually interviewing for a position with the same company as I was interviewing. He was just sitting in the lobby when I walked in and registered for my own interview. He had always been a "Topper" and despite the 5 years in which we hadn't seen each other,  he was still exactly the same.  Full of shit.   As we sat in the lobby waiting for our respective H.R. interviewers he asked me what I was up to:

"I'm obviously working in medical sales the same as you."

" Oh right.  Yeah I'm killing it right now.  I'm making so much money it's crazy.  I'm only here because they're supposed to make me a great offer."

"Oh really?  That's great."

" Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll get this job.", he said and the receptionist who was obviously listening looked over at us.

" Good for you.  How is Kim doing?", I asked referring to his fiancee, who assumed he had married, but this was years ago and I couldn't be sure.

" She's good.  I guess. We got divorced, but now I'm dating this super hot model chick.  Here's her picture.", he pulled out his wallet and showed me what looked to be a picture of Joanna Krupa but cut out from a magazine or ad.  I think I could even see the top of the caption, but I didn't say anything.

" That's who you're dating?  That looks like Joanna Krupa.  The famous lingerie model?" I said with an air of incredulity.

" Oh yeah she get's that a lot.  She's super hot huh?  Much hotter than Kim."
" I thought Kim seemed like a nice girl."

" She was nice.  But not the girl for me.  I'm going places so I need someone on my arm that makes me look good."

" Yeah sure I guess."

" Dude you're still the same.  Probably still married.", he said and then laughed.  As if being married was a joke or something. "You still driving a Honda?"

I kept trying to to think why was I even talking to this idiot?  This person who was obviously full of himself and full of crap.  Why waste my time?  But then I decided to mess with him.
"Nope.  I'm driving an Audi now.  It's my company car? What about you?"

" Really?  An Audi? My company car is a Porsche.  It's that grey one outside.", he seemed a bit irritated I had upgraded my means of transportation.

" I didn't see a Porsche outside when I pulled up?"

" Oh it's out there.  So are you still married?  How's that going?"

" Nope.  It was rough, but I got through it.  I'm dating someone right now.  Great girl but she travels a lot."

" My girl doesn't travel at all.  She's there for me whenever I need her.  Great girl. Great girl.  Ya got a picture of your lady?"

" No I don't sorry. But you've  probably seen her before, she's always on TV."

" What? Get outta here.  Seriously?  She an actress or something? Wait don't tell me. It's Betty White?", he said and laughed at his own joke.

" Awww, I don't want to talk it.", I said but I was stalling for time, since unlike him I didn't have a pre planned web of lies at my disposal.  So as I was trying to gather my thoughts, I saw a few magazines on the table and picked out the first girl I saw.  It was kind of a stretch, but I decided if he pushed me; I'd give him her name.  And naturally, he pushed.

" Oh what?!  You can't throw that out there and not tell me.  Who is she?"

" That's not important dude.  She's pretty famous, but a lot of people don't really like her."

" Your not gonna tell me?  Why not?  Don't hold out now."

" I'm a little embarrassed."

" Why is she ugly or something.  It's not that fat chick from Bridesmaids is it?"

" No it's not the funny girl from Bridesmaids.  And no she's not ugly. She's beautiful.  It's just she's not exactly my type, but I just met her at a party with a few friends and we hit it off."
As I said this, I could see it was driving him nuts, and he was planning his next move to trump my new girlfriend. 

" Your type? Your type?  Dude, you were married!  C'mon tell me.  I won't tell anyone."
" Alright her names Kim.  She recently got divorced and she was married to an NBA player."

His faced curled up for a moment, as if he was thinking very hard, and then I saw that he had an epiphany.

" Kim Kardashian?  Get the fuck outta here.", and as he said this the receptionist looked up. "Sorry.", he said just to not make him self look bad.

" Yep.  She's actually not as dumb as you think.  I was at a party in Glendale and I guess she grew up with these people and we started talking and she thinks I'm funny so..."

" No friggin way dude. Kim Kardashian!  You are messing with me."

" No I'm not dude.  I swear.  It's nothing serious though.   We just starting seeing each other.  3 or 4 dates is all."

" Wow!  Well we know how she is in bed.", he said and started to laugh.  I didn't get it, but then I remembered Kim Kardashian had a  sex tape.

" Oh right.", I said and chuckled.

    Just then both of our interviewers came into the lobby and introduce themselves.  I guess we were interviewing for 2 different divisions of the same company. We rose from our chairs, and I turned and shook his hand.

"  Good luck." , I said and smiled.

"  You too.  Kim Kardashian huh?", obviously he was perplexed and couldn't figure out how to top my new love interest.

" Yep." I said and smiled again. "Lucky me."

" Well c'mon M, she's not THAT hot.", he said, and I couldn't believe it.  He was gonna insult my new lady friend, and try to "top" me in the process.  So as we each started to follow our interviewers down the hall, and came to a fork in the hallway, I sent him a parting shot.

" Oh yes she is, and I can show you a REAL picture of her.", I said and then laughed.

He tried to say something but I just turned and walked down the hallway, knowing that I'd just topped... "The Topper".

Have a great day selling!

-M

Keep It In Perspective: Reality Check Please?

So many blogs, books, articles today focus on maintaining a positive attitude and this will help you to be successful. Napoleon Hill's, "Think and Grow Rich" is a perfect example of utilizing positive reinforcement to help you achieve your goals. What the book offers is insight into your beliefs to help you achieve your goals. But too many people are searching for this get rich quick scheme, especially in today's economy. I bet half the people who read it don't even finish the book, which is sad because it's a fascinating look at the world, although somewhat dated (1937).

I think one of the keys to Mr. Hill's success is that he wrote this book when there was nothing else out there to compete with it in the marketplace. He was a pioneer of the "Science of Success" and as a result he became rich. I think the book should be retitled "Write and Grow Rich."

In sales, as in life, there are often two schools of thought:

THE HAVES – This school is characterized by overly obsessive positive thinking. In other words not only is your glass half full, it seems, to you, that it’s almost full because you're ridiculously positive. You ALWAYS think the customer will buy from you, no matter what the circumstances. You don’t even drink coffee because you don’t need it. You are that pumped up to start your day. You'll visit the same customer 500 times because you're so certain that everyone will buy that you simply cannot give up. You have Successories posters all over your house, office, garage, and in your car. You listen to tapes in your car, not cd's: TAPES. Every morning you wake up, look in the mirror, and say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it. People like me!"

Richard Simmons, Tony Robbins, and Stuart Smalley are your heroes.

Your school’s mascot – Tigger

THE HAVE NOTS – The opposite of "The Haves", where everything is someone else’s fault and through no fault of your own you suck at sales, life, and everything else. You have to overcome so much just to get the prospect to the table that it’s a miracle you get out of bed in the morning. You would be number one in your region if the stupid customers would just buy from you. Every customer to you is a potential asshole, and when they don't buy something from you, they are an even bigger asshole. You want desperately to be successful but can't stop listening to Goth music, and the Smiths long enough to go out on sales calls.

Marilyn Manson, Donnie Darko, Chicken Little, and Debbie Downer are your heroes.

The school’s mascot – Eeyore.

Several different authors have perceptions about why people are successful and why they are not. You are not interested in those people. You should be interested in what will make you successful and only you. Because each snowflake is different, so is each level of personal success. Why the hell would you care if a rep in Poughkeepsie is number one. Care about yourself and your numbers and keep it in perspective.

Don't be so positive thinking that you waste your time with customers who will never buy because that, in itself, is pathetic. You're not perfect and not everyone will buy no matter what all the books tell you. I read one book which recommended that you should never read the newspaper or watch television. Why? Because it's depressing...great advice ,let's just block out all reality. Books tell you to never let a negative thought creep into your reality because then you're entire psyche will tumble like a house of cards. C'mon are you that weak? NO! Realize that not everyone loves you and there are times when you "fish" or "cut bait"

In contrast, don't be so morose that you would depress the customers. Have you ever been around one of those people that just looks at every thing that is negative in the world, because they're unhappy with their life? I had an associate who used to be an Intensive Care Unit nurse and so she had a slightly warped perspective on life. She had been around death for the last 10 years so she didn't know how to turn that switch off. On one of my very first sales calls with her, she started talking about her friend's battle with breast cancer. I felt bad for her friend but this was not the time to be discussing the issue, and she brought it up while we were discussing something like bariatric beds. The contact emailed me the very next day not to bring her around anymore because she was TOO DEPRESSING.

As a rep your job is to get people excited about your products and services, not ruin their day. So stay positive in the call, because you want people excited to see you, not running away from you. It's all about your perspective. Stay positive, but stay realistic, and you'll do fine.

Have a great day selling!

-M

Beware of the Bullshit

I have been pursuing an account for almost 8 months now, and I am getting great feedback and almost no orders. I have great rapport with everyone in the place! Hell I even know the janitor's first name for god's sake. But still no orders.

So today, I decided I was going to find out from the doctors, the nurses, the night watchman, why the hell there were no orders coming from this account. I held an in service (for the 6th time), demonstrated our products...AGAIN. And finally ask if they had any questions. As usual they said no. So I responded as follows:

"No one has any questions at all? Well I have a question for all of you."

Every one's eyes just kind turned up from the food they were eating. I had their attention...finally.

"Do guy's believe anything I'm saying about these products or do you think. Pardon my French. That it's all just bullshit. That they don't actually work?", and I said this without a smile. Just to see their reactions.

Everyone was shocked. But they had no problems speaking up.

"Wow. Uh that's awkward. Way to spoil our lunch M.", said one of the nurses.

I was not deterred. "Well, listen I like to come here and chat, but if you guys don't believe in the product, I can't force you to use it. I could be the best salesman in the world but if you don't like it then why buy it."

" We don't buy it because we don't like it. And frankly I don't like this line of questioning.", said the doctor.

"Finally!", I said, "Some feedback." and then I smiled. "Thank you doc. What don't you like about it."

"It's not as pliable or malleable as you say it is. It doesn't conform the way we want it to.", he answered.

"Okay that's all I wanted to hear. I just couldn't understand why no one told me that before.", was my response.

"Because we like you, and like having you come around. You're funny.", answered another nurse.

"Thanks. But if I'm not helping you then I'm not doing my job. In reference to the product you mentioned doc. We have a line of that product that is thicker and more absorbent and you might try that one. Just give it a shot on a patient and see what happens."

"Alright, I will. But don't get mad at me if I don't like it."

"Doc, I can't get mad about that. It's a matter of personal choice. I just am happy I found out why you weren't ordering. It makes me feel so much better to know the reason, then just be in limbo. Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem. Can we eat now.", he said and then started to laugh.

"One more question." I said and they all looked at me with disapproving eyes.

"Can you validate my parking?", and the whole room burst out into laughter.

I would rather a person be honest with me and tell me why they don't want to buy, then drag it out. As a salesperson until we hear the word "NO", we always hold out hope we'll make the sale. But if the prospect never says no, we just keep coming back for more. As long as we haven't been rejected, we feel like we've got a shot. It's like that scene from the movie "Dumb and Dumber"
When Lloyd is told he has a one in a million shot to date his dream girl Mary.

His response, "So you're telling me there's a chance!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KX5jNnDMfxA

Don't be a Lloyd and hang on when your chances are one in a million. MOVE ON!

My First Time

I never wanted to be a sales person. In fact, my dad explained to me that sales people were simply “evil”. They would lie, cheat, poison, drug, or do anything they could to their clients to make a sale. Since my dad dealt mainly with car sales people, and insurance sales reps, I think his perception of sales people was somewhat jaded. Even though the reps might have been completely honest with him, his philosophy was , “Never trust a salesman. They’re the lowest form of person on the planet.” So for me to even be writing about the sales profession, is indeed remarkable.

When I was younger,(much younger),and sales people would visit our house, I would leave because I was afraid their dishonesty and sinfulness would somehow infect me. They always drove nice cars, and lived in nice houses, but I had always perceived they acquired these things by selling their souls, or the souls of their children, to the devil

Or maybe they were stealing and selling organs, or worse yet babies, on the black market. I never actually thought they were people. My parents had turned my perception of sales people upside down, and I never really envisioned them as leading normal lives. Playing with their kids, taking them to school, saving for their college tuition…normal stuff. I assumed they were more like vampires, werewolves, or worse!-CEO’s!. Sucking the life blood out of everyone they came in contact with. If you looked into their eyes they would suck the life right out of you.
So when I decided to take the plunge and become a full time sales person it was after years of working in a sales and service capacity. I was basically selling myself, and the service I provided. I WAS the company to my customers, and I found that if I was nice, cordial, and sociable, people liked me and bought a great deal of my company’s product. Even though I was simply providing a service they spoke with me at length, and by developing a relationship they purchased products from me, LOTS OF PRODUCTS. Even though it seemed like “easy money”, I never could bring myself to just sell. I didn’t have the confidence in my sales ability to simply walk into a business, and solicit my products and services. It made me uncomfortable, and I felt “pushy”. Just the kind of sales person my father would hate to meet. I was reluctant to say the least, to go out and see customers without so much as a phone call. So a “cold call” was one of my biggest fears.

The first time I went out in the field with a rep, was a lot of fun, but also a pain in the ass. I already had plenty of experience in servicing people but very little experience selling. The rep who was “training” me, drove around and around and around, looking for the ideal neighborhood to stop and cold call customers. We must’ve drove in 5 different areas, and for roughly 2 hours before I finally said, “If you don’t stop the car, I think I’ll kill myself.”

“I’’m looking for the right place to cold call.”, he responded and simply continued driving.

“To me it looks like your just wasting time. We could’ve call on 20 people by now. Do we really need to keep driving around trying to find the perfect place. Is there a perfect place to cold call?”, I just wanted out of the car.

“ Okay if it’s so easy smart guy, let’s go here. This’ll be your very first cold call. “,and then he paused for a moment, looked at me and said “EVER! No pressure though.”

Then he chuckled and pulled the car over in an industrial area where there were warehouses everwhere. Every different business was represented, so I felt happy since we were pushing bathroom products at the time.

“Okay big man. Here’s the brochure, you got your cards, and I’ll be right behind you. Now keep in mind not everyone is going to be nice. So don’t push too hard for the appointment, just try to get info and then we can call them to set an appointment if we need to.”

“Whatever. I know what I’m doing. I think I got it.”, I was way too cocky.

“Okay Mr. Know It All. I’ll be right with you to help out if something goes wrong.”, He was being way too nice.

“ I got this, I’ll be fine. Piece of cake.” I responded with false confidence. This was my first, but not my only mistake.

I saw a group of businesses all in an industrial complex, and figured if I was going to start selling this would be a good place. The complex was clean, one of those newer ones, with lots of buildings and suites set up to cater to businesses. It was extremely industrial but looked vibrant. As if all the businesses were bursting with activity. I walked into the first place I saw, not paying any attention to the sign overhead or the “No Solicitors” on the door, and recognized an older, gruff looking gentlemen behind the counter.

“Hi I’m M, from Fill In the Blank Company . Are you the owner?”, I said and extended my hand for him shake.

He looked down at my hand as if it were disfigured or covered with some infectious disease and responded in a loud and irritated tone of voice, “Whatever the f3$@k you’re selling I ain’t buying sorry.”

I knew exactly how to respond to his tone. I had experienced almost 7 minutes of extensive training on how to handle this objection. “I’m not selling anything, I just want to leave this brochure and call you later to make an appointment.” And I thrust my brochure towards him.

“Heh are you deaf? I’m not buying anything. So don’t try to give me your stupid brochure, I’m just gonna throw it in the trash.”, he said and looked again at my hand as if trying to discern if it were real or not.

Again, I knew how to handle this one, and I had experienced almost 8 ½ minutes of training on how to handle this second objection.

“Sir I’m not trying to sell you anything. Just want to show you what we have to offer, at another time. Are you available later this week? Do mornings or afternoons work better for you?”

“ Listen a-hole, do I have to call the cops. You people keep coming in here every couple months, trying to talk to me about how you’re going to help my business, and improve my productivity, and I can still be in charge of this and that. It’s all BS. Now take your stupid flyer and get outta here!”, and as he said this he took the flyer from my hand and threw it on the ground. At this point I felt completely insulted.

“No need to be rude. I’ll just take my brochure and leave. You should learn manners”, I said forcefully, but politely.

“I’m rude?! I’m rude?! Hey stupid, can’t you read the sign out front and the one behind me? I’m your competitor! I can’t believe you Fill In the Blank bigwigs have the balls to come in here and try to buy my business. Now get the f#$@k outta here!”, his eyes were red with anger and dismay at my audacity. He pointed at the sign behind the counter. It read, “Cal Kleen Restroom Products and Services since 1959”.

My jaw dropped. I tried to mutter something in response but all that came out was, “Since 1959 huh?”

In embarrassment I turned and rushed out the door. My fellow rep was already ahead of me, rushing back to the car.
As we each opened our car door he looked at me and said, “I thought that went well. Didn’t you?”, and then he nearly died laughing!

That was my first cold call. Quite impressive I must say. I mean how could it get any worse? But I learned a number of valuable lessons that day. The most important being never to take myself too seriously. How could I after that fiasco. But I learned and tried over and over again to practice my techniques and develop my skills as a sales rep. And believe it or not, I got better.
Since, that time I have been living and working in a number of different industries, and I’ve heard hundreds of funny stories related to Sales and more specifically to sales people. I’ve met some wonderful people throughout my career(s), and I’ve met some real a-holes. Mostly the people in charge were the a-holes but on occasion, I would have a great boss, with a great attitude. Good boss, bad boss, it didn’t matter they all had some Sales story they wanted to share with me.

However one thing that I’ve noted in all the time I’ve been involved in Sales and the Sales process, this is a FUNNY business! In fact, it’s so funny, I thought it would make a great blog. Now there are a few people who I’ve come in contact with, who will read this blog and say, “Heh that sounds like my story!”. That’s what’s great about sales, is that we can all relate to each one of these sales tales, and derive something good from them. And I don’t doubt that any one of these could be YOUR story, but I’m writing mostly from my experience and the experience of a few other friends. Either way, I hope you enjoy these stories and they bring you as much joy reading them, as they did for me writing them.

Absurdly yours,

-M

Professional Jealousy

We all go through this , although none of us will admit to it. You have a friend, in sales, in service, in management, in whatever... You both have the same type of job, but suddenly they're having a great year and you're doing okay, but you're not #1. This sucks! Especially if you're used to being ahead of that person year after year. And more specifically if you're a competitive person, this is especially painful. Here' a tip though...let it go.

You can't always win, I'm sorry. And if you think you can, then you're dead wrong, it's an impossibility. Teams, people, they invariably lose at some point. So just accept the fact that you may not be the best every single day, but you're in it for the long haul. And be careful what you wish for because it may not always be the best thing for you.

Years and years and years ago, I was doing very well with a company running a team of 12 people and we were kicking ass! I was young, on the fast track, and my friend was on his way out. He was cantankerous, had no college degree, and really no future, because he fought with management all the time. Now keep in mind, he was a smart guy, and right most of the time, but he couldn't get over the "college degree" hurdle. I told him, "Go at night and get one. Any idiot can earn a degree. Look at me! I have two!"(This is true by the way)

So he did get his college degree. Pretty soon he was in a management role and quickly he rose in the company to a General Manager. Sooner than me! I was pissed...I complained about it to my wife, "Why did I tell him to get that degree? That bastard got the job I wanted! I hate him. " Just basically whining all the way to number 1 in the region but still mad I wasn't promoted before him. I had the numbers to support it, but people don't always look at the numbers. So there I was, jealous, angry, and bitter at my friend for getting promoted before me. Why? Because I thought he had what I wanted...and then we had a little chat at lunch.

"Damn Bill, I can't believe you're a GM now. You're making all the cash. It must be great!" (You little bastard you stole my job even though your numbers are worse. This is bullshit)

" You'd think so huh. But I bet I make only $10 hour based on how much I work, and I'm always at the office. My wife hates me, my kids hate me. It's not all it's cracked up to be. I never see my family."

"Really? Why don't you delegate all that work. Take it easy! You're the boss remember?" (He's saying this to make me feel better. Patronizing me...bastard)

"It's a lot of responsibility. I can't sleep some nights wondering if I'll get fired. There's too much to control...it's hard. And you can't delegate everything because some people just don't perform the way you want to all the time."

"That doesn't sound so great now that I think about it. And to think, I wanted that job." (Maybe he's being sincere, this doesn't sound so great. He's still a bastard though)

"Yeah well you can have it...and the stomach pains I've been getting because of it. It's not that great being a manager dude. Stay where you're at. It's better."

"Thanks for the advice. Maybe I will." (He's bullshitting me)

Of course I didn't listen to him, and soon I was promoted and we were suffering together in the same GM role, working our butts off, for little or no thanks. We were both doing well, and I wasn't jealous at all. I knew he was going through the same crap I was, and he had a family to worry about. I let it go, and I didn't have any ulcers, no sleepless nights, none of that. Cause I only focused on what I could control. The jealousy was gone and soon so was Bill. They "eliminated" his position. He was number 1 in the country in growth and they downsized him out. Thank you! Big mistake...he went on to be the VP at their competition, and kicked their butts!

If you have a friend, a partner, or anyone who's doing well give them a pat on the back. Keep in mind those accolades don't always last that long, and don't get jealous, don't get angry, just go make money and be happy with what you have. Focus only on what you can control and the rest will take care of itself.


-M
-M