Introverted Extroverts?

First of all, this post has nothing to do with sales, but I felt inclined to write it anyway.

When I heard of the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman,  I thought how terribly tragic that this man, who had recovered from his addiction and had been "clean" for 23 years; had experienced a relapse.  How horrible for him and particularly his family.  And then I started reading my friends posts online:

"A lot of people loving on a junkie who left three children without a father"

"Worthless junkie"

"How selfish that he killed himself and left his kids homeless"

"I hope he stuck the needle in his eye...bastard"

"Very sad.  He was a major junkie and had problems for years with his addiction"

"Those are the chances you take when you get involved with an addict.  His girlfriend should have known better."

My first thought was, "Holy crap my friends are a bunch of a__holes."  And then my second thought was, "How does his death leave his children homeless?  That person is an idiot."  Naturally, I felt inclined to write a comment or a response on one of my friends facebook page, which would be a scathing retort. So I began typing,

"You're one to comment on being a junkie when you're a pothead and your kids are the by product of a whore.  You're the one who's a selfish a__hole."

This is what I wrote after two glasses of wine and a margarita however what I posted was something like, "I'm not so sure he was a junkie, but more like a recovering addict. And I don't see how people can fault his girlfriend when maybe she didn't know he was an addict 20 years ago."

I realized that my initial tirade had turned to something more like a wimper, but I couldn't be a complete jerk with my response.  I realized that if the person was facing me and we were having a conversation there was no way I would respond with a wicked and demoralizing retort. My online "friends" however did not hold back their feelings...or what they perceived to be feelings.

"WTF is wrong with you?  How can you support that heroine addict?  He was a scumbag and you're an enabler for supporting his habit.  Have you no sympathy for his kids? I hate what you just wrote, and I hate you." 

" You're a f#$cking idiot dude.  You don't know anything about addiction so don't make any comments.  He was an addict and he deserved to die for his irresponsible actions. You should be buried with him for that comment."

I read these comments and went through a wide range of emotions.  At first I was absolutely in shock, and then I became angry, and then I just became sad.  I personally knew these people typing these horrible things about me when all I did was make a benign comment about Phillip Seymour Hoffman's addiction. I wasn't supplying him with Black Tar heroine, or shooting it into his veins. By taking a stance which was in slight opposition to their sentiments, I had brought on this deluge of hatred.  If you read my comment it was almost bland but it ran counter to their thoughts so they sought fit to attack me, even calling for my own death! WTF is wrong with people.  At this point,  "the gloves were off " so to speak, and I was about to slaughter them with words. 

So I began typing, "Thank you for your witty retort you bunch of f#$ktards. How is it that you graduated from college? Oh that's right, you didn't or if you did it was from the University of Phoenix, or some other online university, because you couldn't get accepted anywhere decent because you're frigging stupid.  I really should take your advice since you've done such a great job of raising your own brat kids.  By the way, their ugly.  Ed, your son resembles Benjamin Button, and Jim, your daughter looks similar to John Merrick only more grotesque.  Perhaps you should sell them to a carnival.  Oh and one last thing, if you died of a heroine addiction I'm sure they would both be sold by those money grubbing whores you married!!!  I'd ask you to go f#$k yourselves but I know your pricks are so small you couldn't even have sex with a Chihuahua."

I read through what I had written and was checking for grammatical errors when I realized that this was just stupid.  I was getting in to a fight with a person I've known for years,  over something they posted on line, and I didn't even have the decency to call them.  So before I sent the response I picked up the phone and made a call to one of my friends.

He answered, "I take it you're pissed about what I wrote."

"I would say more like shocked."

" Yeah I'm sorry.  I got carried away.  I guess the whole situation reminds me a lot of my brother and his kids. You know he was always making promises and leaving them hanging.  It just pisses me off."

" Uh yeah dude, I can tell.  But Phillip Seymour Hoffman is not your brother dude. I was just saying I'm not sure he wanted it to end that way.  I know that stuff with your brother has always been bad.  I didn't mean to touch a nerve."

" My brother is such a jerk and the way he treats his kids is just...horrible.. It's cool, sorry I wrote that stuff about you.  I deleted it already."

" Well I'm glad we actually talked about it, instead of fighting online. That's just stupid."

He started laughing, "I know!  You should have seen what I wrote the first time!"

At this point I was laughing too, "Oh really?  I don't even want to know."

"Oh c'mon I bet you were preparing some scathing response for me."

I laughed again, "No I wasn't."  And then I started laughing again.

" I knew it!"

" No I wasn't.  That's what makes me a better person than you."

He laughed, "Oh screw you! Are you coming to the birthday party on the 20th?"

" Yeah I'll be there."

He didn't have to send me an e-vite, or create an event, or even send a message to my facebook page.  All he had to do was ask. 

I realized that if the person isn't in front of your face it's so easy to "scream" back at them, and to be mean.  It's very easy to be a prick.  To be extrovert, yet introvert at the same time.  If you ever find yourself in this situation and it starts to get out of hand, just remember you're having a "conversation" or rather a confrontation,  and there is a real person on the other end of that line. Only keep in mind there is a record of that conversation online, and you might "say" something you'll regret. 

Be kind online, and have a great day!

-M