Motivational Books- 7 Habits of Something, Something, Something

I like to read books.  Lots of books.  I read books about sales obviously, but also about service, leadership, sports, fiction, biographies, historical, some romance, and yes even Harry Potter books. Right now I'm reading "Delivering Happiness" by Tony Hsieh.  Why?  I like to read.  However, one series of books I find interesting and yet annoying at the same time...motivational books.  After reading a series of these books, I really can't take any more good vibrations. It's all blah, blah, blah, "you are a beacon of awesomeness", and more blah, blah, blah, "you can do anything you set out to do".  Positive thinking is great but delusions of grandeur are not. 

Years ago, when I first read Stephen Covey's, "7 Habits of  Highly Effective People", I immediately started practicing what was written in the book. It definitely made an impression upon me.  But as I went through the habits, I realized that a lot of the habits I was already utilizing in my own life, but I never felt highly effective. I was always successful in whatever I set out to do, but highly effective? What the hell does that even mean?  It's a very subjective statement.  And who is arrogant enough to call themselves highly effective?  I'm not.

I was going to read the book again recently but as I started to read, it made me sick to my stomach.  I literally started to feel ill.  Now maybe I had too much coffee without enough breakfast, or perhaps I ate some yogurt which was spoiled, but I believe the book made me nauseous.  It is a great book, and if you haven't read it you should, but don't believe the hype about it changing your life.  Only you can change your life, and change does not come from a book. It comes from you. 

Wow!  That was bit spiritual.  Please remember that at times a book can change things.  For example, if you are attacked my a mugger, a book is a good weapon to help fight them off.  Moreover,  if you are short in stature, and need to reach something, a book can effectively change your height, when you step on it.  However, I don't know how much it will change your life if you step on it.  It depends upon the situation.

If you've never read the book "7 Habits Of Highly Effective People", I have listed my short interpretation of the 7 Habits below, and if you have read the book and appreciate it, please don't read any further because you will most likely hate this post.  Here are my intepretations of the 7 Habits:

1. Be Proactive - The first habit is basically about taking responsibility for your own actions and for your life. This is pretty simple because all it says is "get off your butt and do something"!  Heck do anything! But just don't sit there and take your circumstances lying down.  Nothing was ever accomplished from a couch....except maybe therapy, or binge watching Netflix. 
2. Begin With The End In Mind - The second habit actually made me laugh when I was reading the book, because it's about visualization. It's about using your imagination to formulate a clear objective for your day, your week, and your life.  I use this habit on some days to visualize myself eating an In-N-Out Double-Double, and it always works on those days because I invariably have a burger...hmmm good. 
3. Put First Things First - Another simple and yet effective habit worth forming.  This one is really about prioritizing your life.  Place things which you value most first, like your kids, your family, or your dog.  All the other stuff is trivial.  If taxidermy is what you value most, then by all means focus on your dead animals and stuff them.  It's your choice.  However I wouldn't recommend sharing your love for taxidermy with other people, it might make them nervous around you at cocktail parties.
4. Think Win-Win - The 4th habit always makes me want to puke now when I read it.  It has been quoted for years since it was first written, it has been used as the title to a movie, and was quoted thousands of times on the television show "The Office" and in conference rooms for the last 15 years. The term is supposed to describe a situation that is mutually beneficial to both parties, but people use the term incorrectly all the time. Often times they use it to describe something twice as beneficial to themselves rather than mutually beneficial to two parties.  For example, "If we hire Suzanne, who is eager to please, we can consolidate two jobs and then let some one else go.  She'll have to do the work of two people, but it's a win-win for us. We'll increase our productivity and reduce our costs." I'm not sure doubling someone's work load is a win-win for them.  More like a lose-lose.
5. Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood - What the heck does this mean anyway? I know it's meant to be deep and meaning and inciteful.  Which is why I barely understand it.It is very deep. However it's worded in a complicated way so as to confuse me and everyone else. It's insanely simple...LISTEN.  Don't be thinking about what you are going to say next, don't think about when is the time to best get my point across, don't ponder the meaning of life when someone is speaking to you.  Actually listen and you might learn something.
6. Synergize - Again another term that drives me insane.  It is so over used and more often used incorrectly. Corporations have twisted this idea into some weird model where everyone should be working together, in unison, with no differences, and without thinking.  Like robots.  "If we synchronize our energy people will produce better results." Yet, the entire point of the this habit is to embrace individual differences, in order to work together to arrive at a better outcome.  It is using all the talents of the group working together to improve results.  Not a group of individuals with the same talents working towards a collective goal.  That's communism.
7. Sharpen The Saw - A habit which is often over looked but I think is extremely important. Too often we focus on our work related activities and not enough on personal activities.  When you sharpen the saw, it really means your sharpening yourself.  You should make an effort to enrich your life every day in either a physical, spiritual, social, or mental way.  Typically, people interpret this habit as working on their business acumen such as learning how to close a sale, negotiate a deal, or taking a class in the Art of War by Sun Tzu.  I always find it amusing that business people study warfare tactics to "help" in their careers when we all know that most of us wouldn't even make it out of a bunker without soiling ourselves.  It's easy to act tough when you don't have bullets whizzing by your head.   Study poetry, not war and you'll go a lot farther in the business world.  As my grandmother once told me, "You get further with sugar than you do with salt."

The important thing to remember here is that these habits still apply and are relevant even today, but keep in mind they are subject to your own interpretation.  Never follow blindly the path someone else has laid out for you. 

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

Have a great day!

-M