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I was sitting at home last night reading another absurd post from some CEO about how he was going to change the business world with his brilliant idea to eliminate his sales team. Well that's not actually what he did, instead he just renamed his sales team, and reduced their commissions. I'm not so sure his sales team members were happy, but he certainly was elated. Why wouldn't he be excited? He reduced costs while spinning a new marketing tool at his customers. I'm sure he'll manage a profitless company for 5 years and then sell it to a larger firm and cash out. It's what a lot of start ups do, and they make a lot of money. It's like script writers in Hollywood that never produce a single movie but make a wonderful living selling the rights to their scripts. They never produce anything substantial but they convince everyone they're brilliant.
Well after reading this one particular post from another arrogant CEO, I realized why years ago, I left the cozy confines of corporate America and made my own way. I did well in the corporate environment. In fact, most people would say I was very successful, but I felt like a mindless drone who was just using my talent to help other people above me be even more successful than I was. I had a choice to stay and be miserable or leave and succeed...or fail on my own terms. It was a difficult decision to make, but I'm happy I left. I still deal with corporations but now they are my clients, and I'm the one dictating terms, not them.
I am not calling for all of you to quit your jobs. Some of you might even like your job. However, below I have listed what I hated most about working in a corporate environment and why I believe many of you might feel the same way...and that's why you should leave if you can:
1. Ass Kissing - When I was younger I always thought that my talent would carry me to a great career, and that if I just produced, I would be promoted. However, talent only gets you so far, and you really have to kiss some major ass to get ahead in corporate America. In fact, I would argue that you don't even have to be talented to get ahead, if you're a really good ass kisser. I was passed over for a promotion one time for a guy who was not half as smart, or dedicated, or had numbers to support his promotion. However, he was a good butt kisser. I was shocked but no one else was, in fact one of my best friends at the company said, "I saw that coming. He had his head so far up the VP's ass, he could have performed a colonoscopy. "
2. Falsies - I;m not referring to the padding some women use to enhance their bust line. I'm referring to the false persona people put on in the corporate environment. I recall those days when the boss told a horrible joke, but everyone laughed, or someone had a particularly bad idea but since they were best friends with the CEO you could not be critical. People wear these false persona's to make sure they get ahead, but it's all so fake. I can remember one year my manager telling our whole sales team, "We need to re brand our image and not have so much fun when we go to the National Meeting. We don't want to get a reputation as partiers and that we're not taking the meeting seriously." And I was thinking, "Oh yeah that would suck to actually enjoy ourselves at one of these stupid meetings."
3. Corporate Uber - Whether you believe it or not, as a corporate employee, you are not driving your own career. I know that Tony Robbins or Bryan Tracy will tell you that through personal power or positive thinking you can change your life at work, but unless you actually are the company owner that's not always going to happen. You have to rely on someone else to grant you the promotion, or the pay raise, or company car. You can go to corporate seminars, and walk on hot coals, and make a boat together, and be told you're a Linchpin, but we all know who is driving the boat. And unfortunately, it's not you.
4. Benefits Not Included- Years ago it didn't make sense to break from the corporate model because everyone in America could make a good living, receive company health care, raise a family, and be rewarded with a pension. Not anymore! Nowadays, corporations have passed on the costs of health care and retirement to their employees. Years ago those were costs that companies paid in order to keep their employees loyal and happy. But that model has changed because corporations have a wealth of workers to choose from and if people quit, a company can find someone to replace them pretty quickly. You pay for the cost so they can maximize profitability, and they don't even send you a "thank you" card.
5. Wasted Talent - As a corporate employee you are working for someone else's benefit, not yours. The people who are profiting from your talent and hard work are the company shareholders. If you own shares in the company, that is awesome! Stay with company, but if not, get the hell out. There is no point in working for someone else's benefit. I have a friend who works in the fashion industry and she started with a small company that was generating $2 million in annual revenue. She went in with her contacts, pitched some new designs, and increased their revenue to $20 million. How was she rewarded? With a promotion? With a partnership in the company? Nope. With a $10,000 bonus each year. Who benefited from all her hard work? The CEO and CFO who were the owners. For $20,000 they received a huge return on their investment, and naturally, she felt jilted. While she was eating at Del Taco, they were sharing stories of their trips to Paris and New York. So she left, started a line with another company, and took her accounts with her.
6. "Game Of Thrones"- One thing that I realized while working in a corporate environment is people will crawl over your dead body to get ahead. I've seen people boldly lie in corporate meetings, and talk trash about people for no reason other than to gain an advantage for a promotion. Fortunately for me, I always produced so I was promoted, but I witnessed other colleagues get passed over because some scumbag planted rumors about them around the region. Not all companies are like this, but corporate America rewards this type of behavior and many times without repercussions. It's sad.
7. Appearance Is Everything - I remember putting on ties daily and picking up dry cleaning weekly, just to make sure that I looked good for the corporate higher ups. Customers were okay with whatever I wore but not corporate. When I was being considered for a promotion I had to go through a "certification" process and I received points off for not having the correct undershirt, and shoes that didn't have a mirror like shine. The shirt issue I thought was ridiculous since they didn't approve of the neck line of a t-shirt, and the shoes were brand new! I polished them every day, but the shoes had a flatter finish on them which made them look polished but not with a military shine. I answered all of the questions the panel asked me and took a written test which I passed easily, but I did not pass the certification because of 2 absurd demerits for appearance. It was ridiculous.
8."Money, Money, Money" - I can't believe I'm quoting an ABBA song, but so be it. In the corporate environment no one cares about your kids, your wife, your mom, or your dad; they only care money. How are you going to help the bottom line. Your boss will say things to keep you happy but everyone is driving for the same goal which is maximum profitability. I have to say that I admire start up companies because they are "money pits". In the beginning, they aren't expected to be profitable so they sometimes do their best work. It's when you have the specter of fear that you'll lose your job if you don't bring in $$$, that makes working in the corporate environment so difficult. If you think people care about your personal well being more than they care about money...think again.
9. After Hours - The first time I went to Europe, I arrived on a Sunday and everything was closed. I mean EVERYTHING! I walked around for hours searching for a restaurant, gas station, anything to get some food. Even the hotel restaurant was closed, so I couldn't order room service. Well that never happens in corporate America. It's like a 24 hour Wal-Mart. And you are expected to participate. If your boss is going to Happy Hour, she expects you to be there, or if she has an important meeting on Monday and needs your help on Sunday, you had better be available. Company picnics, car washes, and bake sales on Saturdays are part of the corporate environment. Those who participate thrive, while those who don't, are ostracized.
"Not for me! I'm outta here, Betty Crocker!"
10. Old Men - Yep, that's who will be running or ruining your corporate career. A bunch of stodgy old dudes, many whom think the word "app" refers to a job application. Yep, gender and generational bias exists. I remember going to a National Meeting of General Managers and there was 1 woman GM out of 300. Exactly 1! And none of the GM's were younger than 35. When I turned 34 I was working for a GM and pretty much running everything for him. He typed with 2 fingers, didn't know how to use the Internet, and was not a very charismatic leader. I tried to figure out how he got into that position and someone told me he was the Region VP's best friend. Old dudes stick together. If your young and in a hurry to get ahead, you had better slow your, roll because you might run up on the CEO's Rascal Scooter and if you run over his ankle, he might fire you.
I don't recommend this move for the faint of heart. You have to be committed to make it on your own, and it's very difficult at first. Not everyone comes up with an idea for a best selling app, or creates Snapchat, or Instagram, or even Words With Friends. Working on your own requires long hours for little pay and even smaller rewards, but if you stay committed you just much reach your "tipping point".
If any of you, can think of some more reason to leave corporate America feel free to comment.
Good night and good luck!
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