Too Much Positive Thinking?

I was recently on a plane ride back from a business trip and I sat next to a fascinating woman, who was so ultra positive that it actually started to affect me.  I found myself smiling a lot and we had a great time talking about everything from business, to politics, to shoes.  She told me all about her life and how she had fought off a terrible illness as a child, she had started her own business, then overcome a tragic accident as well, and so she regarded every step forward as a bonus in her life.  It was truly an uplifting conversation and I felt glad she had shared her stories with me so that I could be inspired to do something great myself.  As I left the airport I thought to myself, "Damn she was such a positive person! It seems like  that positive thinking crap actually works!  Look at what a great life she's made for herself! It makes me want to go out and conquer the world!...Oh there's an In-N-Out burger hmmm."

Yet as I was in a cab riding home from the airport, I was still buzzing from our encounter. I thought about snippets of the conversation I'd had with her. During the four hour flight, we had talked nonstop, or maybe she had talked nonstop, but I'm sure I got a few words in there somewhere.  She was very health conscious, had been all over the world, and she had basically made little business clones of herself to become successful. She was very pretty, in great shape, flirty, and very charming.  She made it clear that she had achieved every goal in her life except the one she coveted most which was to have a family of her own.

Despite all her charm and positive energy, the one thing in particular that I had remembered from her hours of talking...she had never found a "someone" in which to share her success. I put that word, someone, in quotes because she was one of those people who spoke with her hands as well as her mouth and she made quotation marks with her hands.  She had told me about her numerous boyfriends, 3 fiancees and even one lesbian relationship...yes she was that open about her life. I thought it strange she never found someone to share her life with, but then I remembered a specific part of our conversation: 

"You seem so positive all the time.  How do you do that?  It must be exhausting!", I asked, and then I chuckled as if to make a joke.

"Not for me it isn't but for some of my boyfriends it's been trying at times."

"How do you mean?  They have trouble keeping up with you?"

"No. I just try to be positive all the time and I don't ever think about anything negative.  EVER. I can't afford to waste my time on negativity. "

"Ever?  Isn't that a bit crazy to think that way?  I mean there has to be times when you get down?"

"No I'm not saying I don't feel that way, but I NEVER admit to feeling that way.  I can't.  Otherwise I would never be successful in my life or in what I do. "

"Hmmm.  That's interesting."

"Oh, now you sound like my boyfriend.  Hmmm that's interesting? He's a bit of a pessimist, but he says he's more of a realist.  I think he can be too negative sometimes, but I just ignore him."

"Well I'm sure he loves that.", I said and almost rolled my eyes, but I caught myself.

"Who cares what he likes, it's what I like that matters.", she said and then she laughed as if she were making a joke.  But I wasn't so sure she was joking.   She continued, "If he can't be a positive influence in my life, then why should I be with him? And that goes for everyone, my friends, my family.  If they don't influence me in a positive way, I won't be around them."

" Well, that's your choice and his, to be who you want to be.  But even your family? Wow. But hey it's seems to be working for you.  I just think sometimes it's better to have a balanced perspective. "

" You're saying I don't have a balanced perspective? What does that mean?"

" I just think you can't think about things too positively or too negatively.  That you have to have some balance. It doesn't matter.  You seem to be doing very well, so stick with whatever you're doing."

" I will.  Don't start getting all negative on me.  That's the quickest way to piss me off."

" We have 3 more hours of flight time, so I will be sure not to piss you off.", I said and laughed.

She laughed along with me and we went on talking about different things, but as I mentioned she seemed like she had everything figured out, but she really didn't.  She was still alone and I wondered if it was because as she had said, "I don't ever think about anything negative.  EVER." For me, that would be a hard person to live with, especially if that person never admits to feeling negative.  It's too one sided, and not at all balanced.  In fact, if I was married to a person who could never admit to experiencing a negative feeling, and was positive ALL THE TIME, I would find that person completely annoying. In fact, I'm certain after a few years I would be planning to get a divorce or murder them, whichever was easier.   How can you not allow yourself to ever have a bad thought?  It's unnatural and unhealthy, in my opinion.

Believe it or not, I am an optimist.  Yes, I'm sarcastic as hell, but I do believe in true love, family, all that sentiment in "The Notebook", and other corny stuff.  Well maybe not all of "The Notebook", but I enjoy movies with happy endings, and I root for the good guy in all the movies I watch.  However, I do expect there to be times when I'm not so positive, and good things don't always happen.  Bad things happen to good people, but it's how you respond that will make an impact on your life and those around you.

Let me give you a business example of what I mean by being too positive.  Years ago and I mean decades, I was a young management trainee working on a project straight out of college. 

The project manager told us that "I don't want to know about the problems but only the successes we are having with this project.  Do not bring any negative energy into this or we will all fail.  I want to hear about the solutions not the problems."

Well our team, being fresh out of college, we all took that to heart, and so despite some insurmountable production issues we never said a word about the problems.  Halfway through project, the manager came into the office in the afternoon screaming, "I was just told by production that there is no way they can have this ready by the September deadline!  Why the hell didn't you guys say something?!

The senior member of the team, a ripe old 23 year old with pimples all over his face said, "You told us you didn't want to hear about the problems, only the solutions, and that negative energy would cause us to fail.  So we didn't say anything."

"I didn't mean it literally!"

I almost laughed when he said that but he brought it upon himself.  We missed the deadline, he got demoted and I left the company. Too much positive thinking, to the exclusion of all other thought, can lead to some pretty negative consequences.  As you work through your work day remember that a balanced perspective is always best, in business and in life.

Have a well balanced day!

A Sale, Is A Sale, Is A Sale...

I have sold everything from off road gear, to uniforms, to rugs, to medical supplies and equipment.  I've even consulted some companies on software sales, retail sales, and liquor sales.  I've found that a Sale, is a Sale, is a Sale. The process may be slightly different but the goal is the same. Some sales cycles are short, some are long, but you still have the same objectives in mind.  People who have a longer more involved sales cycle like to claim they are better sales people, but seriously they're not.  They just have a longer cycle and it's more complicated but that doesn't make them a better sales person.

One of the best sales people I know, began his career as a car salesman.  And a used car salesman to boot. Yep, he worked for years in car sales, then transitioned to uniform sales, and became one of the best closers on government accounts I have ever had the pleasure of working with.  He signed more large accounts for the company we both worked for, than anyone in the West.  He went to Presidents Club eight years in a row, which was unheard of at the time, and he would have gone ten more times if they wouldn't have started messing with his pay.

So what did he do differently when he was selling cars to selling government contracts?  Not much.  He just learned a new sales process and applied all his knowledge and experience to be successful in a new environment.  He was not a college graduate, and barely graduated from high school but he understood people and related well to them. Today, they would say he had a high degree of emotional intelligence.  

When I was getting ready to leave industrial services and go into medical sales, I was concerned that my sales skills wouldn't transition well to the medical field.  So I asked him what he did to make the transition from car sales to uniforms sales to National Sales. 

"I remember three words that I learned in car sales, and I still use to this day. If you just think of these three words everyday when you're selling you'll do great! They're honesty, singularity, and integrity.  I live by those three words, and it's what makes me successful.  I'm not very bright so I like to keep it simple.  I can only remember three things at a time that's why I always forget the name of my youngest daughter. She's the fourth you know." , he said and then he laughed.

We talked for a long time about what those three words meant to him, and I can't remember all that he said, but I do remember how he interpreted those words and the crux of what they meant to his success. I have paraphrased what was said during our "fireside chats" below:

Honesty - Let's face it, we are not always honest all of the time.  We tell little white lies in our personal lives to people we love, in order to make them feel better or to avoid conflict.  Yet honesty in the sales process is critical because if customers or prospects discover that you're dishonest about any little thing, you will never make the sale.  Even if it's an innocent mistake about what your software, service, or product does, they don't interpret it as a mistake, but a LIE.  I know this is a catch phrase but "total transparency" is necessary in order to you to be successful in sales.  You cannot hide inconsistencies in a product or service because you may make the sale but you'll lose the customer in the long run. So if your selling software don't promise that your product does something it doesn't.  Focus on what it can do, not what it cannot do.

It is more important to be honest than to be effective. If people believe you and trust you, that's half the battle in the sales arena.  

Singularity - Not everyone remembers the guy who just gave a stellar presentation about his company, but didn't cover what makes them different from the competition. They remember the guy who showed why his company was singularly the best choice for the customer's needs. That's who they remember!

Interviewers don't remember the person who sent the "thank you" email to them, but they do remember the person who had already prepared a thank you card and handed it to them following the interview. It may not get you the job but you'll be remembered, that's for certain.

YOU NEED TO STAND OUT! And that doesn't mean wear flamboyant clothes or make up that makes you look like a circus clown.  Just like the words on this page you and your company need to stick in the conscious memory of your customer or prospect.  In addition, you need to position your product or service as the only choice for the customer/prospects needs.  Otherwise, you're just another sales person pitching a product.  You might as well be selling a "Bass-O-Matic", like Dan Akroyd on SNL.

Integrity - The definition of integrity as defined by Webster's as "the state of being whole and undivided".  For many it has to do with honesty but for him it had to do with following through on his commitments.  That he would act with the whole of his being and character to fulfill the needs of his customers, his family, and his friends. Here are a few of his thoughts about integrity.

"If you tell people you are going to be there at 2, you show up at 1:45."

"Your customer needs the product by Wednesday then you deliver in on Tuesday."

"A doctor needs something for a patient, but you're out of town. Yet you find a way to get it to her."

"You tell your kids you're going to be at their game, then make damn sure you make it to that game."

"Your friend's husband is sick and in the hospital, then you had better be there to support her. "

Acting with integrity in everything you do will make a big difference not only in your sales numbers but throughout your career. Keep in mind that if you follow through on your commitments people will respect you more, work with you more, and buy from you.

I took those three words and when I transitioned to medical sales, I lived by them.  They helped me grow my territory by almost 60% in the first six months.  It made the transition easier, and in reality the job easier as well.  I qualified for Presidents Club, and sat at our CEO's table at the National Sales Meeting.  It was exciting, and all because of three simple words.

Remember that a sale, is a sale, is a sale, and if you act with honesty, singularity, and integrity, you will be successful no matter what you're selling.

Have a great day!