Should You Drink With Your Boss?

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With the holiday season coming soon, there will be plenty of parties and opportunities for many of you to share drinks with your coworkers or more importantly with your boss. For years and years, I was always under the impression that it was not appropriate to get drunk with the boss.  In fact, it was frowned upon because you might end up saying something you'd regret, or you might get so drunk you throw up on your boss' shoes.  Mixing alcohol and the work environment has so much potential for both levity and tragedy that I have always stayed away from my boss at any holiday party where libations were prevalent. However, after hearing a few stories from some close friends, I think getting drunk with your boss may not be so bad after all.  I have a few friends who recently were promoted and not based solely upon performance, but because they had partied with their boss. So to that I say, "drink up!"  The holidays just might be a great opportunity for you to bond with your boss. However, be wary that there a few guidelines to follow, when imbibing with your "fearless leader."

• Drink moderately - If you like a drink now and then, be sure to drink in moderation.  If you get completely wasted you're not going to be able to get your point across and in random cases you might not even be understood.  Slurry is a word used to describe an insoluble liquid, but it may also describe the words coming out of your mouth, if you've had too much to drink.
• Suck up! - And I don't mean liquor.  I mean your boss is probably drunk and wants you to tell him how great he/she is, so let him/her have it.  Share with him how wonderful you think he/she is, and make sure he's not so drunk he doesn't remember all the compliments that you heaped upon him. Be nice early and often, so the next day his memory doesn't elude him.
• Keep your pants/skirt on - It doesn't always pay to sleep with your boss.  Although I have seen a few people sleep their way to top positions.  However, there is too much baggage to carry around when you start an intimate relationship with your boss...especially if they're married!  Alcohol can make some ugly people seem pretty attractive, but you must resist! 
• Be a confidant - Your boss probably has no one to vent to, so make sure you listen carefully.  Liquor has a tendency to break down many work place barriers. All types of useful information will be forthcoming the more he/she drinks, so be sure alert enough to remember all the juicy details. 
• Drinking buddies - You would be surprised by how many career changing decisions are made over a pint of beer.  I once heard a manager tell me that he assesses the merits of an individual in the interview process by this criteria. "Can I go and have a beer with this guy/girl?". If you're not a drinking buddy with your boss, this holiday season might be a good time to start.
• Do not whine - The only wine you want to see is in your glass, not coming out of your mouth. Managers tend to remember people who complain a lot.  It's better to keep your thoughts to yourself rather than turn the holiday festivities into a gripe session. It's supposed to be a party!
• Stay off the dance floor - Unless you're a very good dancer I would not go near a piece of laminated wood.  Under the influence of alcohol we all think we can dance like Michael Jackson, but the truth is many of us ending up looking more like David Hasselhoff. If you don't want to be the talk at the water cooler the next day, avoid the hardwood.  
• Don't Drive - After all your hard work getting to know your boss don't become a statistic. Be smart and be safe.

I know that many of you will be having a good time at your holiday parties, and interacting with your boss, so this might be the best time to get to know her/him.  Follow these simple guidelines and you'll have a good time, and it might even help your career...a little bit.

Have fun!

17 Habits of Wildly Unsuccessful People

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In today's business world we are always looking for the quick fix, or some good advice that will help us be more successful. I can't even count all the posts on LinkedIn which begin with, "The One Thing...".  It's a bit too much for my taste.  And really, is there simply one thing that can cure all of your business issues...hell no!   However there are some good tips on developing habits which will help you not only with your job but with your life.  Unfortunately for you, this post is not about those good habits you need to develop.  Sorry! Rather, this post reflects on those bad habits you need to avoid if you want to be successful.  If you can avoid falling into the trap of developing these bad habits, you may find success in both your job and your personal life.  After reading this post, many of you might think that some of these habits are good to have, and many successful people practice these habits.  But at what cost?

"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?

• Tardiness - If someone really wants to be successful they can start by arriving on time.  I sometimes find myself falling in and out of this bad habit, and it gets me in trouble.  Some people are really focused on time, and if you're not timely, it can lead to a bad situation.  Be on time as often as possible, and if you are late, you had better have a damn good excuse, like a car accident, or an illness, or a death in the family.  People don't mind if you're on time, but they freak out when you're late. One example of a bad excuse for being tardy is "I was getting my nails done." Which was exactly what I heard from a guy last week...yes it was a guy.  
• Depressing - Everyone has those days where you feel like that character "Debbie Downer".  Where nothing goes right and you're in a bad mood all day.  However, if that's the way you start out everyday, then nobody will want to work with you.  Please don't feign happiness either because then you're just trying to fool yourself.  Life is to be lived and enjoyed and even though you're at work, and you may hate your job, make the most of it, and try to get through the day without bringing down everyone around you.  No one wants to work with an "Eeyore", they would prefer to work with a "Piglet".
• Whining - The only wine I want is in a glass, and I'm sure your colleagues and coworkers feel the same.  You won't make progress in your career if you're constantly whining about problems.  It is better to solve the problem than be part of the problem. I was working with a company just last month, and we were asking for input from employees.  We were in a meeting, and one guy just kept shooting down every idea offered, until finally I asked him, "Do you have any ideas on how to fix this problem?" He answered, "No.  But I know what won't work and none of your ideas are going to work.". My response was simple, "Instead of focusing on what won't work, can you please help all of us focus on what will work?  I think we'll make a lot more progress that way. You're input is more valuable in helping us find a solution, rather than pointing out problems." He grumbled a little bit, but then he helped us, which was good, because that could have become a pretty ugly situation.
• Irresponsibility - People who are wildly unsuccessful never take responsibility for anything...including themselves.  If they don't succeed it's always someone else's fault.  Or if their life is miserable it's because somebody is ruining it, but it's not them.  They have no control over how well things go, or how badly things go.  It's all out of their control and if everyone would just pitch in to help them, than everything would be alright. Granted we can't control every aspect of our lives but we should focus on what we can control, and take responsibility for our own lives and careers.  Otherwise we're just dust in the wind.  
• Self-Defeating Attitude - Yesterday, someone said to me, "I just can't do it."  I wanted to slap them, but you can get arrested for hitting your mother nowadays so I decided it was best to calm down.  And no, I would never hit my mom. But seriously, I hate when people say that can't do something even before they try.  Be realistic but don't be a defeatist. I realistically can't fly and I won't try right now because it would be suicide, but I can learn to fly eventually.  Nothing was ever accomplished by sitting on the couch, and saying "I can't do it." 
• Stupidity - I think this habit needs no real explanation. If you have a habit of being stupid, you probably won't be successful.  And by stupid I mean not using common sense, or following a reasonable thought process.  Think before you act, otherwise you're going to have a hard time getting through life.
• Myopia - Unsuccessful people have a certain way of seeing things...their way.  I once had an employee who every time a customer or a fellow employee had an issue with him, he would respond, "They're not seeing things my way.  They're not listening to me.  I'm telling them exactly what we need to do but they don't see or hear what I'm trying to get across.".  The problem wasn't with the customer or fellow employees it was with him.  He was the one not seeing or hearing other people's views and opinions. 
• Immaturity - There are people I work with who are in their 60's and I still consider them to be pretty immature, and I've met teenagers who act more mature than many adults.  It's not a question of age it's about being mature.  Handling things in a civilized manner and not pouting if you don't get your way, or throwing a temper tantrum if things don't go well.  People who are not successful have a tendency to act like they're in kindergarten rather than a university.
• Remorselessness -  People who are less than a success have a tendency to act without remorse.  In simpler terms, if they do something spiteful or they make a mistake they don't seem to care. It's as if they had nothing to do with the error or if the act is perceived as malicious they don't see how it was their fault.  Or possibly they just don't care.
• Conniving - Currently I am working with a company who has one senior sales rep who is using other people to get her work done.  She explains that since her numbers are so good what does it matter that she uses people, "lower on the totem pole", as she so aptly puts it, to her advantage. When her new manager approached her about this unfair delegation of duties, she threaten to sue for sexual misconduct on his part.  It was their first meeting and his office door was open the whole time!!!! But apparently, she has been doing this for years, using people and threatening employees and managers. She is manipulative and conniving and for sure I will help this company in any way I can to dismiss just such a person.  Karma's a bitch.
• Jealousy- I exhibit this trait all the time.  I am just as guilty as the next person of being jealous of fellow colleagues, CEO's and business owners.  Hell, I even get jealous of other people's posts!  I'll read something and think, "this post is utter crap, but 500,000 people read it." What jealousy does, is affect your ability to focus on your own goals.  If you can ignore what other people are doing, not get jealous, and concentrate on yourself, than you'll be much better off personally and professionally.
• Stealing - Unsuccessful people have a tendency to steal things.  Lots of things...like credit for a certain job, pencils, pens, commissions, and even some coworkers will steal your identity.  Yep that's right, the number one culprit of identity theft are people you work with.  And they wonder why they're unsuccessful?  They should wonder why they aren't in jail.
• Narcissism - Many people who extremely self absorbed or narcissistic are limiting their own success. They often are over looked for promotions because management doesn't often see them as "team players".  I really hate that phrase, but it's true.  If you can't be part of a team, and support a team, it's very likely you won't advance past a certain stage in your career. 
• Libelous - I was trying to think of what this habit entailed and then it came to me...it's about talking trash about people behind their backs.  If you're a person who derides people and then doesn't express the same sentiments to their face, you're going to get yourself into a lot of trouble.  You might even do it without thinking about it.  I have on occasion been asked an opinion about someone, and offered my views which were not meant to be negative, but an hour later that person will confront me and ask "why did you say that about me?"  Usually I am asked about work habits, or if the person will develop into a good sales rep, but it could turn ugly if I'm not careful with my choice of words.  Plus if I were to go around talking crap about everyone in the office, I would be spending a lot of time by myself and that's not a good thing, especially when you're the CEO.    
• Disloyal - If you can't be loyal to fellow employees or if you're a boss and you're not loyal to your own employees, than they will never be loyal to you.  Heck, in life if you're disloyal you won't have any friends, and I know that from experience. I make that statement with woeful regret.  
• Deceitful - In short, you're a cheater.  Now many people have pointed out that successful people still cheat, and they site Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.  However, I would argue that though both have been very successful, they can't enjoy their success because it will always be tainted with the stain of deception.  Despite their greatness people will always remember that they cheated. 
• Disingenuousness- Damn!  That's a big word! Simply put you're a phony, a fake, not real.  People can spot a person who is fake pretty easily.  If you don't really care about a person, don't feign sincerity, because it simply doesn't work.  Years ago, a fellow employee had a child who was very sick and our boss, who was a total jerk, said "I'm sorry to hear about your kid, but we need to get this project done by the end of the month."  He wasn't sorry. He didn't even give a damn about his employee's child and sure enough 9 months later, that guy was fired.  Why?  All of us hated him, mostly because he wasn't sincere.

I understand that many of you reading this post didn't learn anything new here, and that the habits I've outlined are obviously things we already know we shouldn't be practicing.  So then why do many of us have these habits?  And why are so many incredibly successful people, practitioners of these terrible habits? Because we're all looking to gain some type of advantage, not just in business, but in life.  Even people that are already successful still want "get a leg up" on everyone else. However you don't have to be a jerk to be a success.  In fact, I would argue that if you're a jerk, then despite all you're success, to me, you're a failure. 

I Am Not A Cheerleader

A long time ago, at a company far, far, away, I was passed over for a promotion.  Why?  Because I was told it didn't seem like I wanted the job. That I wasn't a "cheerleader" for the company or the position...and I guess they were probably right.  I've never been a sales person or manager who was "in your face".  I've never been a high energy guy, instead I've always had a pretty mellow disposition, but I'm still competitive as hell.  In fact, if you ever seen me play a sport, and I mean any sport, you would be scared at how crazy competitive I am.  But in this case, I just wasn't into the interview process.  I figured I had the position sewn up and I was more annoyed than honored that they had to interview me before they promoted me.  What a cocky bastard I was?!

So last week, I ran into the same issue.  I was contacted by a company, and they wanted to speak to me about helping them with their sales process and possibly training their sales representatives.  When I first walked into the offices of the Regional Vice President, I thought for sure it was going to be an easy sale.  He already like what I had to say over the phone, he'd perused the website and saw all that we had the offer, and we had met previously at a conference.  Naturally, I thought the deal was all but done.  I was dead wrong.

Here's how my visit went:

VP: "You have a great list of clients, and you've shown improvement at every company you've worked with, but why should I work with you and not some of your competitors."

Me: "I think you've just answered your own question. You said I have an impressive list of clients and have shown improvement at every company I've worked with.  If you need a list of references I can give them to you.  Is that what you need?"

VP: "No I'll take your word for it. But what makes you so good? You seem very unassuming.  Almost humble.  I need someone who's gonna set my hair on fire! Why should I use your firm as opposed to me sending my people to a Dale Carnegie or a Miller Heiman seminar.  Those companies have been around for years and they have great reputations. So why should I use you guys?"

Me: "Do you want to be like everyone else?  Because if you do, then send your people to Miller Heiman or Dale Carnegie.  Or do you want to be different?  Better yet.  Do you dare to be different? If you want to differentiate yourself than you need to get out of the box.  Not think outside the box but actually get out of the damn box!  That's where my company's at, and that's what we teach.  We don't think outside the box, we LIVE outside the box. So where do you want to be?"

VP: "I want to be different but going with your firm is a big risk.  You're good but I don't know you that well.  Like I said, I need someone to set the world on fire. How will you inspire my team?"

Me: "First of all, I am not a cheerleader.  If you're looking for someone to motivate your team and get you excited, don't come to me.  I am not Tony Robbins. I am not the guy from "Rudy". I am a teacher, a trainer, and I am an entertainer.  I'll keep your people engaged, focused , laughing, and get them to see things differently. But I am not a cheerleader. You said over the phone you wanted something different.  I am here to offer you something different. That's what you want isn't it?"

VP: "It is. Absolutely. I am just afraid your firm might be too different. I need someone to motivate me and my team. Not just be different. "

Me: I chuckled a bit, "Listen, as I said before. I'm not a motivational speaker.  I teach sales leadership and sales techniques. And think about it.  If you need someone to motivate you and the team then maybe you've got the wrong team."

VP: "I've got the right team, but I need them to improve...NOW. So you're not a cheerleader?  You're a teacher? Again why do I need you?"

ME: "I am a teacher.  But more importantly...I'm an innovator.  Do you want a cheerleader or an innovator. A cheerleader did not invent the telephone.  A cheerleader did not develop the iPhone.  A cheerleader did not invent the pacemaker. So do you want to a cheerleader or an innovator?"

VP: "I want an innovator.. Absolutely."

ME: "I am an innovator! Let me teach you and your people how to be innovators as well."

VP: "Okay. Let's do it."

And he shook my hand and we made the deal.  I have never been a "rah rah" guy.  I am low key, smart, hmmm modest, and I inspire people through my actions, not my words. Talk is cheap.  You don't need to be a cheerleader to lead. You don't need to be a cheerleader to develop people.  And you definitely don't need to be a cheerleader to be a trailblazer, a creator, or an innovator.

You just need to be...

Success Or Failure? What Are You Focusing On?

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Tonight was a complete failure.  I was working with my wife to try and get her to go to bed early, because she had a big meeting early in the morning.  I made her cookies...yes I made cookies, believe it or not. I also tried to get her to drink warm milk, and I even made her take a sleeping medication which helps her fall asleep. But it's now past midnight and she still hasn't fallen asleep.  Why? She may hate me for writing this but it's because she's not focused on falling asleep, she's focused upon what will happen if she doesn't fall asleep.  Big difference.

All the stress and anxiety she is feeling is because she is set on the wrong goal.  Her goal is to avoid missing her meeting in the morning, which has negative connotations associated with it, rather than setting her sights on falling asleep early which will bring only positive things to her life.  People will say "what's the difference?  Both goals are the same...get to sleep early and make the meeting on time."  But the routes to the end are vastly different in nature.  This is why she can't sleep.  She's focusing on the negative aspects of missing the meeting and what will happen if she over sleeps, as opposed to working on the positive aspects of falling asleep, making her meeting on time, well rested, and the good things that will come about as a result of her efforts.  There is a major difference between the two perceived outcomes.  The goal is the same but her mind is racing a million miles a second, thinking about all the consequences of her missing the meeting, that she can't relax and fall asleep.  It's pretty sad.

When you have a big project or meeting do you focus on the negative aspects or the positive opportunities? I know this all sounds like power of positive thinking bullshit, but in practice the theory is not that crazy.  What should motivate you is not fear, but rather the joy of knowing something good may happen.

When I was younger, my managers always preached "positive discontent".  How stupid is that?  That was our company philosophy and actually I still think it is part of my old employer's philosophy.  I believe the idea was to push people to be more than average.  To rise above everyone else and that is a good thing for sure.  But is it good to always be discontented?  I don't believe it's a healthy maxim. Why? Because then you'll never, ever, enjoy the fruits of your labor, and it will drive you crazy trying to seek perfection. I could never see the point in not being satisfied with your efforts.  It's okay to be proud, just not too proud. And it's alright to be happy with your work.  It might actually be a good thing...

Which brings us back to my question, what do you focus on in those key moments in your career?  Success or failure? Your choice can make all the difference.

Have a good day!







 

Thank God Steve Jobs Never Wrote Code



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I was asked to speak at a company meeting this past week, and I am always interested in what the CEOs, CFOs, and COOs are trying to convey to their people.  What is their message? First of all, there are a lot of clichés and war room messages.  "Circle The Wagons", "Stand And Deliver", "Take Ownership", and "Be The Best" are just a few of the many themes I've heard from these meetings.  It seems odd to me that many of these themes are based on movies or phrases from the current lexicon or business jargon.  It's never something visionary or different, just an old term rephrased or changed to suit the needs of the company executive.  I never feel like the company officers are really invested in the term or the theme, because they're not.  The terms are stale, the executives are stale, and they create no motivation for the people in the room. Basically, a lot of these meetings are down right BORING.

Unfortunately, a lot of companies are led by "bean counters", or "numbers guys", who care only about the company financials and not the company vision.  They are simply trying to survive but not create something great.  In this particular meeting the company message was "Grow It And Own It", which meant the sales people needed to expand the business which would give them an opportunity to acquire more ownership in the company with stock options or grants.  The CEOs vision was to grow the company 30% in the next year.  30%! Granted the company was the smallest in its market but it still had revenues near $100 million.  Moreover, the overall market was only growing at a rate of 4%! WTF?  I was listening to the CEO speak and I remembered him telling me about his history with the company. He had started as an engineer in the company and worked his way up through the ranks.  However in this instant, he was still thinking like an engineer!  He had no idea how he was going to grow 30%, he just knew that in order to reach his goal, the company had to grow 30%, even with a market growth of just 4%.  I'm not an engineer, but I was curious as to how he was planning on making this plan work, because statistically it didn't add up.

The room was filled with about 10 sales managers and 50 reps all trying to figure out how they were going to grow at a rate of 30%, and they were looking to him for the answers.  There was palpable tension in the air when he revealed they were going to bring a new product to the market.  People were stirring in their seats and getting excited about the big reveal, and I thought back to when Steve Jobs first introduced the iPhone to the world.

The year was 2007, and the cell phone market was booming.  Ericcson, Motorola, and Nokia all were big players in that space and it appeared no one was going to overtake them any time soon.  Cell phones were clunky and cumbersome and people wore them with clips on their belts.  You had to flip them open and pull up the antennae in order to get a good signal and none of them allowed you access to the Internet, or if they did it was limited access. You couldn't access an app because there was no such thing as an app! It's hard to believe this was just 8 years ago.

So what did Steve Jobs and Apple do?  They took a market that was closed and opened up a whole new market space.  It was new and exciting and people told him that he was crazy for entering into the cell phone business.  Apple was a computer company not a cell phone company.  Yet he had been successful with the iPod, why not change the cell phone industry.  Steve Jobs was not a coder, he was visionary.  He wasn't an engineer he was a conductor, orchestrating changes on a global scale.

So when this CEO was about to show this revolutionary new product, even I got excited.  As he went through his presentation he talked about how it would change the industry. All the reps were on the edge of their seats.  I could see the anticipation building as the CEO talked about all the qualities this product would bring and the benefit it would provide to customers. Some of the sales reps seemed to actually be salivating, like dogs waiting to be fed.  And when a picture of the product finally flashed on the giant screen, I thought they would all leap out of their seats and shout "hurray", but instead they slumped.  It turns out that the revolutionary new product wasn't new at all, nor was it revolutionary. It was a product that had been on the market for 5 years already that the company had purchased along with all the patents and IP that came with the product.  The CEO was planning on re branding it and selling it in other markets.  Collectively the entire room heaved a sigh and the energy and excitement was gone.  I could here the managers and reps frustration.

"If they couldn't sell it, how the hell are we gonna sell it?"

"I swear I thought he was going to introduce the new iPhone and instead he gave us a flip phone."

"Great! A new product to sell that doesn't do anything new or different."

" How is this going to revolutionize the industry?  It's an old product."


I don't think this was the reaction the CEO was hoping to get.  I think he was hoping they would stand and applaud, but they remained in their seats, heads down, contemplating their future and the future of the company.  As he stood there on the stage, a man alone, I felt sorry for him.  He was an engineer, not a visionary.  He was deep in a forest of formulas and codes and he couldn't get himself out.  He couldn't see beyond his computer screen to the bigger picture; changing lives, changing markets, or changing the world.  He didn't need to think outside the box, he needed to stand outside the box.  This is how you change the world.

Thank god Steve Jobs never wrote code.

Too Much Emotional Intelligence? Is That Possible?

 

Photo courtesy of 123rf.com

 

If you're reading this to feel good and looking for a happy ending with peace, love, and rainbows, then stop reading now.  If you're reading this to understand how the corporate world can sometimes "throw you a curve", than continue reading.  The more you understand, the better off you are in managing the corporate culture. In fact, this story is about how love and understanding is unappreciated in the corporate environment.

 



Last week, a friend of mine who is incredibly successful in medical sales was being interviewed for a VP position with a very large company.  He had been working at the company for over 6 years, his team was #1 in the country, and he felt like he was more qualified than the rest of the other candidates to win the position. 

The position was overseeing an entire team of people who would be selling and cross selling a variety of biomedical devices.  Since my friend had experience in selling and managing a team he thought for sure he had a good chance of being promoted.  Compare to the other candidates, he had more experience in the field, better sales numbers, more tenure, a better reputation in the company, and he had sold all of the biomedical devices being offered so he could relate to any of the 100 or so sales reps he would be leading.  It seemed like a "no-brainer" to me.  But then again, I was being objective and assuming the people making the decision were intelligent, but of course I was wrong.

After 2 weeks of interviews with 12 different people it came down to 3 candidates, and I apologize to all the women out there that who were probably qualified but didn't make the final cut. But that's another issue corporate America needs to work on.  I've listed the final 3 candidates below and their stories:

1.)The Outsider - It is so typical of companies to bring in an outside candidate to lead their team because they want to "shake things up".  However, what happens is this type of hire usually shakes things down, and I mean specifically employee morale.  The message being sent is "none of you are good enough to be our VP".  I'm not saying don't hire candidates from another company, but I would recommend if you, meaning CEO's,  have internal people who are more than qualified than promote them for God's sake!  The Outsider had a wealth of medical experience but in an operational position, and why was he even being considered for a sales VP?  No idea, but then again, I'm thinking rationally.

2.)The Insider - Too often, people hire someone in their own image.  Someone they like, simply because, "she reminded me of myself at her age", or "he's a lot like me, self made, tough as nails, and takes no prisoners." How narcissistic is that?!  Well candidate number 2 was with the company a little over a year, and he came from a different medical device company.   He had already turned over 4 of his reps in less than a year and he was floundering at number 15 out of 30 in the country.  However, my understanding from my friend was that he was hired to assume this VP role because the CEO had made a "suggestion" to hire him a year earlier.  What is interesting is that my friend liked him, and was rooting for him, if he himself didn't get the job.  Can you imagine that?  My friend was big enough to support a decision for a candidate with less experience and poor performance.

3.)The Right Stuff - So this seems like the obvious candidate to promote to the position.  He had come through the ranks and moved up the ladder because he was able to motivate people in a positive way.  Even during the interview process, one of the panel had said to him, "you seem to have such a great reputation in the company, great numbers,  and you really know how to rally the troops. It seems like your the ideal person for the job."  Now, when he told me after all the interviews that this panel interviewer had said this to him, I immediately knew he wasn't going to get the position.  Why?  Because no one tells you that you're the ideal candidate in the interview process unless they are trying to find a way NOT TO GIVE YOU THE JOB! That's a preface for them to start picking you apart and finding any reason they can not to give you the position.

Needless to say, he wasn't awarded the VP position.  When he asked some of the interviewers for feedback on what he needed to work on, if this opportunity ever again presented itself, they all seemed to respond with similar answers:

• "You do a great job of working with your people to get results but can you make the tough decisions."
• " Your ability to engage your employees might influence your decision to fire them or lay them off."
• " When you have so much invested in your people, it's not always easy to let them go. Some of the panel wasn't sure you'd be able to do that. "
• " You do such a great job of getting people to work together, but how well can you lead them when they aren't unified? And will you fire people who aren't working out?"
• " Your emotional intelligence is very high and that's great in the field, but at a VP level it's almost a liability, rather than an asset."

He told me this, and my response was, "are you f#$king with me?  One of them actually said you might have too much emotional intelligence?"

Keep in mind, my friend had laid off a lot reps when the company had downsized and he had hated doing it, but he did it anyway.  Despite his high emotional intelligence, he had made the hard decisions, and he told me that it made the lay-offs easier.  Because without a relationship with his employees it may have become a volatile situation in some cases.

My friend was confused by the answers and the decision but he still has a good job, at a good company and this opportunity may come again soon.  But still it really sends out the wrong message to the field, particularly when a person so well respected, with great numbers, is passed over for a promotion.

So I guess the message he received from this corporate sleight of hand was this:

"Care about your employees but don't care too much."

Have a good day?

A Misconception About Millenials...

Photo courtesy of 123rf.com

I met with a long term client yesterday and for the whole day he complained about his work force.  He owns a small tech company, so most of his employees were millenials.  Young people, who were very smart, worked very fast , but also worked very hard.  But he didn't see what I saw. 

He saw, "A bunch of kids trying to get ahead without putting in the time. Just working here until they can put out their own app or start their own company."

"Yes but they can help your company even if they're only here a short time.  Why do you think they want to leave?"

"Because their stupid parents filled them full of pipe dreams about how they can be anything they want to be or start their own company, or be the next Mark Zuckerberg.  They've all watched 'The Social Network', way too many times."

"So you think they all want to start their own company? Is that it?  And why would they want to start their own company?"

"Because they think they know everything and won't listen to a damn thing I say.  They're a bunch of  know it alls and they're straight out of college.  It's annoying."

"So they won't take direction?"

"No I didn't say that. Some of them are very good at taking direction.  In fact Robert, is great!"

"Well what is it?  Do they question your judgment?"

"All the time! It's so annoying.  It's like every assignment we give they have to ask why they're doing it.  They won't just do it without throwing out a ton of questions.  I can be assured that if we implement a change in development, I get about 30 emails asking, 'WHY?' "

" Well, this is the year 2015, and they aren't in the military so people have a tendency to question authority...and also their parents taught them to question everything."

" They shouldn't.  It wasn't that way when I was starting my career at Microsoft."

" Oh my god, now you're starting to sound old.  These damn kids!  I used to commute to work in snow shoes!", I said and just laughed at how absurd it all seemed. Every generation seems to complain about the young people coming up through the work force. Now that's annoying.

" Well not snow shoes, but sometimes snow tires.", he answered and I chuckled a bit.

" Do you wanna know what I think the problem is with your employees?"

" Yes I do.  Please remind me again why I hired you as a consultant?"

" You hired me because I'm good, and your my friend so you're getting friend prices.  Basically you're cheap.  But the problem isn't with your employees, it's with YOU."

" What?!  Are you crazy!  Me?  How could I be the problem?  Can I get my money back please?"

" You're the problem because you aren't trying to work with them.  You're just blowing them off as millenials.  Let me ask you a simple question. Do you like millenials?  Or do you think they're spoiled little brats, who all received participation trophies, and never had it tough like all of the Gen X'ers or even Baby Boomers?  What's the deal?  Are they spoiled?"

" Absofreakinglutely.  They're all spoiled little punks.  Trying to get ahead without actually putting in the work. I started this company after a lot of hard years, putting in long hours and learning the business.  Half these little bastards want to have their own start up before they're even finished with college!"

"Well at least they have goals and dreams.  I didn't know what I wanted to do straight out of college.  I thought it was banking, but here I am working with you and consulting.  And I love it."

" Right now, I don't like your consulting so much, but go on. What do you suggest I do to fix MY problem?"

" Let me ask you something.  If it's not too personal how much did college cost you."

" Well I went to Berkley, so I was maybe $20,000 in debt when I graduated?  What does that have to do with my employee problem?"

" And how long did it take you to buy your first house?  I've known you a long time so I know you have a nice house.  How long did that take."

" 10 years I guess.  Give or take a year.  Again, what does this have to do with my millenials?"

" And how hard was it to get into college, to find a job after school, and start your career?"

" I see where you're going with this crap.  I got very good grades and got hired by Microsoft but it wasn't easy if that's what you're saying. And I worked my butt off to get where I am."

" I never said you didn't.  But I want you to keep in mind how much it cost to graduate from a good school nowadays.  Especially Berkley, and what's the cost of a home in California?"

" The cheapest price for a decent home?  $500,000 probably.  Again, I see where you're going with this and the cost of an education and home has nothing to do with the way my employees act.  This is ridiculous.  Do you have a point here?"

" I do.  Here's my point.  Millenials usually come out of school with a huge debt, and no prospects to buy a home in the next ten years.  So why do they want to make it rich quick with an app or a start up?  Because they're already behind the eight ball.  They are in debt, with a decent paying job, but no chance to pay off their loan in the next ten years and buy a home.  So what choice do they have?  The don't unless you offer them one."

"What do you mean? I'm not paying off anyone's student loans or giving them a down payment on a house.  Screw that!"

" I'm not asking you to do that. That would be stupid.  I'm asking you to give them a chance.  To offer them a future which they can buy into, and that will make them and you more successful.  Do you think Zappos is offering to pay everyone's education or pay for their house?"

"Zappos?  No I'm sure they're not. Is that the shoe place?"

" Yes it's the shoe place.  But what Zappos is offering is a future and a chance for them to have the same opportunities we've had.  Plus Zappos is very interested in their employees contributing to the direction of the company and offering their opinions."

" But we're not Zappos!  We don't have that kind of money."

" You don't have to be Zappos.  You just have to listen and you have to give a damn.  If you show an interest in their future and offer to help, then people won't be as prone to leave and start their own company. If you give a damn, then people will respond and give a damn about your company and do their best to contribute.  The problem is right now your blaming them, when really the only one to blame is yourself.  Remember good leaders take responsibility for everything."

"Oh that's right.  Let's blame me for everything and coddle them just like mommy and daddy. Then I'm stuck with a bunch of overpaid, entitled, cry babies."

" I didn't say coddle them, I just said listen to them, and show you care about their future.  Right now the reason they don't want to stay and they don't want to help is that you're not treating them like people  You're treating them like kids."

"I don't treat them like kids.  I treat them like adults."

"Oh really? I just heard you tell Frank, one of your inside sales guys,  that he should learn to speak more clearly and either take the marbles out of his mouth or go outside and play with them at recess."

"I thought that was funny! I was trying to make a joke."

"Well it came across as demeaning and could be demoralizing to poor Frank.  I heard the other sales people snickering."

"He does speak poorly, like he has gravel in his mouth.  What am I supposed to say?"

"Why did you hire him for inside sales then if he doesn't speak clearly? That's on you dude. And you could call him into the office and have a discussion about speaking slower and more succinctly, instead of making fun of him in front of the other employees.  How would you feel if I made fun of you in front of your employees?"

"That's easy, I would fire you.", he said and then laughed out loud. "No I wouldn't, but again that's funny."

"It is funny.  But not everyone get's your sense of humor and if you're in a position to affect their careers, that can be pretty scary...to them. I know you think they're spoiled but they're not.  They're screwed."

"What? How are they screwed. They make more money than I did straight out of college."

"Oh please! When you graduated, Lincoln was still in office.  With inflation, the cost of education, and the high cost of housing, these kids don't have a future as bright as their parents told them they did. They were told they're great, they're the best, and they're all special.  Well imagine the shock when some of them realize none of that is true.  That they're just normal, everyday people.  They've got a lot of issues to overcome."

"Oh boo hoo, hoo. I feel so sorry that they didn't get all the presents they wanted at Christmas time.  Excuse me if I don't shed a tear that their dreams didn't come true."

"You're a dick. I can tell you that cause I've known you for a long time, but seriously I bet that's what all your employees are thinking.  That you're a dick. And you wonder why they're leaving?   You need to understand that things have changed and that you need to get people to buy in to your vision, in order for your company to be not only successful ...but great."

"I should definitely fire you.  But I'm still listening."

"It's not the same as it was when we were young, and if you want to get the most out of your employees you need to do two things. Number one, you need to care about them, and number two you need to give them a career path.  Especially in the tech industry, otherwise good people will just leave and go somewhere else."

"I have had a lot of turnover in the last year.  It's almost 40%.  I'm not going to change everything, but I do think you may be on to something.  What do you suggest I do, since I'm such a dick?"

"Stop being a jerk, and start caring about your employees.  I know their 'kids', and you think they're spoiled but they're really not.  They're disillusioned, they're over confident, overly skeptical, and in debt.  They don't trust you with their future and right now you're not doing anything to change that.  I would suggest you start by being more supportive and not so demeaning.  Talk to them for god's sake."

He laughed, "Now you're just talking crazy. Actually speak to them?", he said and then we both laughed.

"Yes actually speak to them.  There will be a few who still want to leave and start their own company but if you can keep the rest, and get them to buy in to your vision, then you'll be way ahead of everyone else. "

"Alright I'll give it a shot.  I can't believe I pay you to tell me this crap.  I think you need to give me a discount since all you did was tell me I'm acting like a jerk.  My wife could have told me that."

"Yeah, but she would have have charged you more than I do."

"True."

Have a good day out there and treat everyone with kindness and respect!