All of us in sales, service, customer service, production, or any facet of business that deals with customers have to watch carefully what we say. Unfortunately we are not allowed to express our true, and wholly justified, feelings about a situation to a customer. So I put together a few words and phrases that we find ourselves uttering daily to customers, but I also listed the true meaning of the word or phrase we wished to convey.
What We Say What We Really Mean
"Good morning.How can I help you?" "Why are you bothering me while I'm enjoying my coffee?"
" I apologize and I'll take care of that right away." "Good luck getting your stuff now.You asshole."
" That was a miscommunication on our part." "How many times did I tell you it took 3 days? Idiot!"
" I checked the tracking number. It should be there." "Are you stupid? Look on your porch."
" Oh I must have written down the wrong item number." "You gave me the wrong item number."
" I'm sorry doctor, you're right. That's my fault." "What a moron!Glad he's/she's not my doctor."
" Sometimes people are confused during surgery." "I think you may have removed the wrong organ."
" I would love to do that, but I'm not sure it's legal." " Do I look that stupid to you?"
" Unfortunately I can't do that because of regulations." "Do I look that stupid to you?"
" We can only act within the government guidelines." "For the last time!Do I look that stupid to you?"
" Yeah, I've run out of free samples. Sorry." "No more freebies. Order something!"
" Sorry, but there is a cost involved. It's not free." "Are you kidding me? You're such a cheap ass."
" I would love to do that for free, but I can't sorry." " What the hell? Is you're stuff free?"
" I understand my competitor says it's free." " Those bastards are lying through their teeth."
" Unfortunately, I can't go any lower on the price." "I'm done negotiating miss/mr.penny pincher."
These are just a few. Stay tuned for more next week. Have a great day selling!
-M
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