Corporate Relationships: Signs It's Time To Break Up...With Your Company

I received a text last week from a fellow employee which read, "F#$k corporate!  I hate this f#$king place!"

Sound familiar?  Well maybe the language you use isn't so "colorful", and what's funny is this came from a person who doesn't swear very often.  However, she was so incensed with what was happening to her, that she just couldn't hold back her anger.  To me, that means it's time for a change.

Working with any company is like being in a relationship.  Sometimes it's even more intimate than some of your personal relationships, because you might spend a lot of time at work.  Let's face it, a lot of the same problems you deal with in a personal relationship are evident in your own relationship with your company.  And like any relationship, the road to happiness can be arduous and wrought with hardship.  In many cases the relationship can even be abusive, and at that point it's time to break it off, for your own well being.  Here are a few signs that you're in a bad company relationship:

1. They Don't Pay Attention To Your Needs - Corporations have one thing in mind, and one thing only: making profits for their shareholders.  In the past, people were the building blocks of those corporations and it seemed that this was understood by management and it was very important to keep good people.  Not anymore... with the population level rising, and more people to choose from, job hopping is now the norm, and many companies aren't interested in your needs, they're interested in their needs.  It's like having sex with a partner who's more interested in their orgasm than yours. That kind of sex can be messy, there's a lot of crying, and you need to get out of that relationship.  Find some company that cares about what you need to be successful, and is willing to fulfill your needs, not just their own. 
2. Lack Of Communication - When people refer to a man as the "strong and silent type", they could also be referring to some corporations.  The worst company to be with is one that cannot or refuses to communicate with it's employees.  I worked for a company that would only email correspondence with it's employees.  There were no formal conversations, no exit interviews, and in performance reviews the employees were only asked to fill out their portion of the review; without discussing or having an interaction with their manager. I agreed with everything in my performance review but I called my manager to discuss it in the process. His response, "I just need to get this done, it's year end, so fill out your portion and get it back to me ASAP. It's not really a reflection of how I feel about your performance." I felt like yelling into the phone, "Oh it's not? It's a performance review you freaking idiot!" How would you like to be married to someone who only left you post it notes about how they were feeling and didn't even listen to your feedback. I personally couldn't be with that type of person or company, so naturally I left.
3. Abuse - My friend worked for a company that each month would find some reason or another to take away commissions, and expenses from no matter how well he did.  He could be at 110% to quota and they would discover some "error" in reporting which would put him at 101%; just low enough to screw him out of  thousands of dollars.  Now that's really abuse, on a monetary and psychological level.  So he left, and they were surprised.  What a bunch of morons! However, I know people who are still working for that company and putting up with the abuse. I find it amusing when people stay with companies that just abuse them daily.  They bitch and moan about what a horrible company they work for but yet they stay.  Why? Because they don't want to change.  They rationalize their relationship and say, "Well it's not that bad.  I could be out of a job.  At least I'm employed unlike a lot of people nowadays."  I understand when you're being abused you have a tendency to believe that it might be you're fault but trust me, it's not you. It's them! Corporations can be just as abusive as your parents, your partner, or even your spouse.
4. They Don't Listen To You - If you work for a company that doesn't allow you a voice in the workplace then get the hell out of that relationship.  Or perhaps you have a boss that looks at you in a funny way when you try to add some input into the workplace.  Break up with them NOW!  A manager who doesn't listen to his employees is the worst type of leader, and a company that tolerates that kind or leadership isn't worth your time and effort.  In fact, Gallup polled 1 million American workers and the conclusions were obvious:

"People leave managers not companies...in the end, turnover is mostly a manager issue," Gallup wrote in its survey findings. The effect of poor management is widely felt. Gallup also determined that poorly managed work groups are on average 50 percent less productive and 44 percent less profitable than well-managed groups."

So why do poor manager's still exist?  Because companies don't want to listen to their employees and get rid of them.  I received an email from a reader who claimed that her VP had been sued 3 times and yet the CEO continued to keep that person in their leadership role.  My question to that reader was as follows:

"Does your company even have an HR department?  If they don't, they'd better have a team of lawyers!"

Poor management leads to poor results, which may lead to lawsuits.  Regardless of what the Gallup poll shows if your manager sucks, then your company sucks, because they're tolerating poor leadership.

       5. They Never Take You Anywhere - A long time ago, at a company far, far, away, I was the     top sales manager in the Western Region, and how did my company recognize my performance?    They didn't.  That year, because of "profit reduction strategies", they didn't offer me a trip, didn't recognize my performance, and didn't even to send me to Shakey's Pizza for a damn bunch a lunch. Finally, when I mentioned to the VP that I was disappointed they hadn't even recognize how well MY TEAM had done, they threw options at me, to keep me quiet.  WTF? What about recognizing the team? Take us to a nice dinner, or even In-N-Out Burger, but do something!

I was offended that all our hard work had gone unrecognized and believe me it was a lot of hard work.  I had spent 60-70 hours per week at the job, put my marriage in jeopardy, and was stupid enough to think they would reward me for my efforts.  Needless to say, I broke it off with them 6 months later, and I stayed with my spouse.  That was the right decision.

If your company is abusing you, not listening to you, giving you the silent treatment, and not treating you like the "trophy employee" you are, then dump them.  They don't deserve you anyway!

It is best to be in a relationship with some one or some company that appreciates you!

Breaking up is hard to do....but it may be the best thing to do. 

Grumpy Gus

After being in sales for many years, I've learned to love and hate my customers. Yes HATE them.  I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it's true.  So many sales "gurus" preach that you should love your customers at all times, but let's be honest, do you always love your wife, husband, or child.  NO! There are times when you want to grab your kids and just yell "Shut Up!"  Or you don't even want to look at your hubby let alone talk to them because you're mad at them.  So why would you not hate a person you don't even know as well as your family.  Your customer can be just as deserving of hatred as any other person in your life.  Some customers you either love or hate, depending upon the day and the circumstances.

 Remember there's a thing line between love and hate.

Last week, I was visiting one of my oldest customers and introducing a new product.  Now when I say old, I mean it.  This person must have trained with Florence Nightingale that's how old he is, and what's worse is he's a grumpy bastard.

"So Dr. G we have this new product that will help you heal patients quicker and reduce their amount of time in the hospital.  Do you want to hear about it?"
"Not especially.  Why would I want my patients to heal quicker?"
"So you can reduce the cost to the hospital?"
"Why should I care about hospital costs?"
"Because you're the medical director for the hospital's MCO?"
"Not by choice. Why do you keep answering my questions with a question?"
"Because I'm wondering when you're going to blow up and get pissed at me."
"Too late for that, I'm always pissed at you."
" So do you want to me to cover what the product does, or would you like me to just shut up."
" Do you really want me to answer that question? "
" Yes I do."
" I would prefer you leave the product with me and just shut up."
" That's what I thought you would say.  Here's a sample I need you to sign for, and here's some clinical studies for you to review.  I'll be back in a week and you know what I'll be asking."
" Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get out of here and I'll see you in a week."

Nearly all my interactions were like this with Dr. G.  But I think he was just a "Grumpy Gus".  One of those people where no matter how successful they are, or what they really have to look forward to, they are just miserable bastards.  It seems that even though they have this great life they can't enjoy anything.  I told my friends that if I ever get that bad, just kill me because I'm not really living anyway. Here's how you know when you're dealing with a Grumpy Gus.

1. You tell them their office pool has won the lottery and their response is, "It's about time.  I must have spent more than $10,000 on tickets. How many ways am I splitting it with you bastards?"
2. You offer them lunch and their response is, "Thanks but nothing cheap. No Subway or Jersey Mikes. Take me some place nice like Olive Garden."
3. For Christmas you bring them a bag full of goodies and they chime in, "I never eat this shit.  Where the hell is my gift card?"
4. They get a promotion, a new car, and a raise, and they respond with, "Took them long enough.  I've been working my ass off for this company.  And now I have to drive a Malibu!  Cheap asses!"
5. They have a beautiful wife or husband, and they make the comment, "Yeah I don't know how long it's gonna last.  Beauty is only skin deep and he/she has issues."
6. The sports team they support wins a game in overtime, and they add, "That game shouldn't have even gone to overtime.  We suck. Now we're just 4 games ahead of the second place team."
7. They get a free meal when they find a small plastic fork in their restaurant food and they make a comment to the manager like, "Good thing you gave me that free cause I was going to sue this place.  Hell I may still sue this place."
8. After the birth of their second child they make the remark, "Great!  Another alien mouth to feed."
9. When they have a tumor tested and the tests turn up benign, they ask the doctor, "Are you sure?  I could have swore it feels malignant."
10. They are not a glass half full or a glass half empty type of person.  With them, there is no glass! They'd rather have a pitcher.

If you're dealing with a Grumpy Gus don't try to point out how great life is, but they just can't see it.  Make sure when you deal with them, you're just as miserable as they are, and if do this, they will actually listen to what you have to say!  Misery loves company.

Have a great day selling!

Not All Sales Reps Are Alike...

I read a lot of sales books, and psychology books, and I guess just a lot of books in general.  And in all the sales books they talk about the sales process, which I believe there is a process to selling, and most authors subscribe to a system such as SPIN Selling or Miller Heiman or whatever.  What they don't tell you is that if every one of you is using the same system(s), how the hell do you win over the customer/prospect?  What is the key to selling the account if we are all using the same type of sales process?  It's very simple really.  The key is YOU!

No two individuals are alike so why should you sell your product the same way everyone else does? To me that's just stupid.  You need to embrace what makes you different from the other reps in the field and accentuate those differences.  Let's assume that they have studied their products as much as you have, and have a counter to all your objections, and are equal to you in every way. Now how do you sell the customer?  The difference is in you and the way you deliver your message.  Here a few pointers on how to be different...and I mean "different" in a good way.

1.) Utilize technology - A few years ago, I had trained a rep who was very funny and witty, and charming, but not in front of the customer. In front of the customer, he was as dry as a stale piece of toast.  It was frustrating to himself and me, because we would talk about it daily.  So I told him, if he wasn't going to come out of his shell, he needed to find another way to be different.  His solution was PowerPoint.  Many of you are laughing right now, because PowerPoint presentations can be so damn boring and antiquated. However this rep became a master at putting together presentations that would "wow" the customer and in turn separate him from the other reps.  He had hyperlinks and videos, and things swooshing in and out of the screen so that the prospect barely had time to breath.  But it also took the focus away from him so he could relax and give a great oral presentation to accompany his PowerPoint.  If he got in front of a big prospect with his PowerPoint skills, he won the account 9 times out of ten.  He wasn't afraid of technology...he embraced it.  If you're a tech geek, be sure to use that to your advantage when selling.  "Shock and awe" your customers with technology.

And I don't suggest using PowerPoint anymore, unless you time travel back to the 1990's.

2.) Show Them Who You Are - Too many reps follow a script because they are asked to do so by the company's they work for, and that is a HUGE MISTAKE.  Unless you have an obvious competitive advantage with your product, and the patent doesn't run out for ten years, you had better go off script in your presentation and do something different.  In pharmaceutical sales everything is scripted to prevent the risk of a lawsuit, but that doesn't mean you have to be as dry as the white paper on a box of pills.  Try something different to get a doctor/prospects attention.  I received an email from a friend who told me he dropped off a cluster of grapes to the CEO of a company he was trying to get an appointment with, and the CEO called him the next day.

"Why did you send me a bunch of grapes?"

" I had to do something to get your attention.  Nothing else was working, so I sent you those grapes because I was hoping to meet with you before they turn sour."

The CEO laughed, "I gotta hand it to you, that is different.  So what are you selling?"

"I'm just selling the appointment for now, can you meet with me this week? What day works best for you."

"Not til you tell me what you're selling."

"I'm selling an idea on how to help your company improve revenue."

"That's pretty general but I like your style.  Come by on Friday at 10 am.  I'm interested to hear what you have to say."

" I'll be there at 10 am.  Thank you...I hope the grapes stay fresh til then."

That was the first of several meetings, but eventually after a long process he sold the account.  He used a little creativity and humor to gain the appointment and he stayed in the process with the same ingenuity which won him the appointment.  Think different and be different, and people will respond.

3.)What Are You Good At? - I have a sister who for years worked as an office manager for various dentists, and finally decided that she could make more money as a sales rep.  As usual, our dad was opposed to this idea because he views sales people as "the devils spawn", but she has been very successful.  Why?  She knows everything about running an office, but she also puts her own personal touch on things.  This holiday season she baked fudge for every single dentist in her region, and they really appreciated her personal touch.  What was she good at?  She's a great cook, and she makes a great peanut butter and chocolate fudge.  I'm sure there are other reps in her region who are well qualified but they aren't personable enough to get their message across and so she's taking their business. Because despite the fact we are in the age of Sales 2.0, people still want to have a relationship with you.  Be sure to oblige them, and bring something to the table you're good at; and maybe they'll appreciate it.

PS: If you're a good fisherman I don't recommend slapping a rainbow trout on a prospect's desk, but if they fish too, then suggest a day of fishing without any discussion about work.  The best business relationships are personal.

4.) Offer Something Besides Your Products - As all of us sales reps know, securing an appointment is like pulling teeth for some prospects/customers.  They are just too busy to meet with you, even if you offer lunch or food.  Why?  Because all the other reps are offering the same things.  So what do you do?  Offer the customer something besides a good meal and a presentation about your company. Why would they care to hear about your company?  They have other issues they need to address.  So think of something they need, not what you need: for me it is education.  I would educate nurses and doctors on things that will help them do their jobs better.  I don't even bring up my company or products until the end of the presentation.  If I tell them I want to talk about how our company can help them, they shut me down.  However if I bring up education, I have their full attention.  Offer something to them besides what everyone else is offering, and in that way you become more to them, than just another sales rep.

PS: And I don't mean offer them money, that's illegal.

5.) Entertain Them - I don't mean juggle, perform magic tricks, or break into song.  But I do mean, entertain them, as in engage in conversation, tell a few jokes, or just be sociable.  You want to differentiate yourself, then be more engaging and charming then the next person who comes through the door.  The best compliment I ever received was from a group of nurses who told me, "You are one of the few reps we actually look forward to seeing."   So I asked why, and they responded, "Because you don't come across as pushy or annoying, and you talk to us about stuff other than what you're selling.  It's a nice change from the rest of the reps. Sales reps are so annoying sometimes...actually most of the time."

Be entertaining, don't be annoying.

I hope these little tips help you in your goal to be a successful rep. Have a great day selling!

"I'm Gonna Put You On Speaker"...NO!!!!

I had a customer call me yesterday and leave a voicemail she was having issues with a few orders and for me to call back right away.  When I did, she picked up the phone immediately and said:

"Hold on M, I'm gonna put you on the speaker phone. Is that okay?"
"That depends.  Why are you putting me on speaker phone?"
" Because I'm in my office, and I wanna have my hands free."
" You can put me on speaker phone, but will it be alright if I don't speak after that?"
She laughed awkwardly, "I guess you don't like the speaker phone."
" Honestly, no I don't.  I always feel like there's someone else listening.  Why don't I just stop by today and we can chat in person."
" Really?  You don't need to do that, but if you could that would be great."
" What time is convenient for you?  I'll rearrange my schedule."
" How bout 3?  Does that work?  It's just a few orders, but if you can come by, that would be great?"
" I will be there at 3."
" Thanks.  I should ask you to be on speaker phone more often.", she said and laughed, and I laughed with her, but I did not appreciate the joke.

    However, she got the message.  I hate the speaker phone. HATE IT.  Why?  Well I can go on a month long diatribe about why I hate it, but here are a number of reasons why I loathe using the speaker option on my phone or being placed on speaker during a call, and why you should try to avoid this scenario if at all possible.

• It's Rude - Nothing says," you are not that important to me that I need to devote all my attention to our conversation so I'm going to work on my computer while I speak to you" like a speaker phone call.  "Hey sorry if it seems like I'm distracted during the call, but it's because I am and you're not worth my full attention.  Thanks for calling though."  Is the message you or your customer are sending when the speaker phone option is used.  It is so rude.
• It's A Trap - Whenever a prospect or customer asks to place you on speaker, my first instinct is to ask, "Who else is in the room?".  Because invariably, they asked this question for a reason, and the number one reason is because they want someone else to witness or authenticate the phone conversation.  And why?  Cause you're in trouble, that's why.  Make sure that if they say "The CEO is here too.", you drop that damn phone and get your ass in gear. 
• Life Is Not a Reality Show - Unless you are on "The Real Housewives Of Orange County" or "Keeping Up With The Kardashians", there is really no reason to use the speaker option on your phone.  Except maybe conference calls because it's very, very important you don't miss a moment of those riveting conversations.   However if you're not on a reality show and they don't need to film your conversations, use the phone like a normal person.
• Cell Phones Do Not Cause Cancer - I like when people try to tell me that cell phones can increase your risk of getting a brain tumor.  Really?  I haven't seen a shred of scientific evidence to support this ludicrous theory, but people believe this paranoid bullshit. The RF waves in a cell phone cannot heat up the body tissue enough to start a cyclical event which will lead to a tumor, so stop using this excuse, and if you want to avoid cancer stay out of the sun you idiot. 
• Speaker Phones Problems - How many times have you been on a call and the person is speaking and you try to interject but they can't hear you?  Or your phone cuts out and you can't hear them?  These are issues that can be avoided if you don't use the speaker phone option.  Apparently these problems are a big issue right now with the iPhone 5.  Would you like to lose a prospect because you dropped a call?  I wouldn't.  

Avoid the noise and just speak into your phone like a regular person, and if someone asks to put you on speaker, try to politely back out of that conversation.  Besides, isn't being in front of your prospect/customer the best option anyway?  

Have a great day selling!

-M

New Year's Revolution - Stop Hating

As a young man I was always striving to move up the corporate ladder, until I realized that climbing that ladder can be dangerous to your career.  It turns out that "playing the game" is often more important than performance, and that many people are threatened by a young, good looking, ambitious, sexy, extremely intelligent, well endowed, brilliant, funny, creative, and gregarious person. None of these words I would use to describe myself, but I've heard of these types of people before...or read about them in books.
And yet, even these people sometimes fall off the ladder of success because some jerk is threatened by them, or doesn't like them, for some reason or another. It's really sad that all we learned growing up was work hard and you'll be rewarded.  Yet in today's society, hard work is no longer the path to success. In fact, it seems that unless your working for yourself, it can be very difficult to make it up the corporate food chain. Why? Greed, envy, jealousy, or just plain stupidity seems to be preventing people from being successful. Who is responsible for this pattern of hatred?  We all are responsible.  We're the ones who perpetuate the system because of professional jealousy. Believe it or not, we are all guilty.

Ask yourself, how many times have you seen some one get up for an award at a company dinner and thought to yourself, "That girl is such a bitch.", when you know it's not true.  Or listened to someone speak at a dinner and thought, "Oh I can do a much better job than they did.  They sucked."  Maybe a coworker went with you on a presentation, and you thought, "Girl please.  You cannot be wearing that dress to my customer's account."

The reason we think this is because all of us are "Haters".  Secretly , deep inside our subconscious we want other people to fail.  If you don't know what the definition of "Hater" is, please refer to the urban dictionary.  It is defined as follows:

hater
	A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

At times, I can be the literal definition of a hater, but at least I am objective and can admit my faults.  Too many individuals, even very successful individuals will deny they are haters.  In fact, an argument can be made, that the most successful people are the most accomplished haters. Why do you think rap stars are constantly fighting with each other, and shooting one another?  They're haters.  They can't stand that one of them is more successful than the other, even though they might be very successful themselves.

How many of you reading this blog, can't stand Justin Bieber?  I do not like the little bastard.  Why?  Because I'm a hater.  Yes, that and the fact that his music sucks ass, and he makes a lot of money selling that junk to stupid teenage girls who think Lennon and McCartney is an English cereal.   Yet I wish he would stop making music so I can stop hearing about his success. And why? I'm a hater.  We're all haters at some point in our lives, in our careers, and we should just give up hating.  Well not entirely, but at least reducing our hatred to things and topics that matter, such as Justin Bieber.

We need to revolutionize the business environment.  We need a "paradigm shift".  By the way, all the unique business terms like paradigm shift,  come from nerdy professors who have no business being in business, but like to "watch the game from the sidelines".  Damn I'm hating again.  Regardless of their pedigree, we need to change our school of thought, especially if we are to make a difference in our business and in the lives of others.

I have started a list for my New Year's Revolution. You should do the same because to be frank, it makes you feel a lot better. Stop hating.

1. I promise to not hate people who are much more successful than me, for a period of 6 months.  Going the whole year would be impossible.
2. I vow to help people be successful despite the fact that I may hate them.  
3. I will encourage my fellow sales reps to work hard and share in their success, despite the fact that they too might be haters.
4. I shall reduce my hatred of competitive sports teams to just a mere loathing and not an all out hatred of them, since it's not good for heartburn.
5. I will not hate my competition but rather I will encourage them sell their best against me.  (However if they do win a sale I will hate them again.)
6. I am responsible for myself and I can not be angry with what I can't control.  I cannot control the Kardashians so I can't be angry with them.  
7. I will stand and applaud every award winner at the company meetings...especially myself.
8. If someone wins the lottery I will not secretly hope it ruins their life.
9. I will not chuckle when I hear about celebrities or star athletes going bankrupt. 
10. When I see someone getting promoted or awarded something I will not think to myself, "Fuck up, move up.  What is this, the army?"  

We have created an environment where rather than share in one an other's success we are more consumed with tearing each other down.  The corporate ladder is wrought with haters trying to knock you off each rung, but don't let them pull you into their little game.  What matters is your health and your family, and your friends.  If you have those I'd say you're pretty successful already.

Have a great day selling!

-M