"You're Scaring Me"

I was just reminded of this story the other day by a colleague and we were discussing psychotic sales reps. You know, the kind of person that someone recommended to work in sales because they're a "people person". What the hell does that mean anyway? Aren't we all "people persons" since we deal with people all day, everyday. Strippers are probably the best "people persons" I know, cause they deal with drooling men on a daily basis and they allow access to various parts of their bodies as well. They foster the most intimate relationships on the planet, so wouldn't they make great sales reps? Hell no.

Just because you can relate to people and understand what they're trying to say, doesn't make you a good sales rep. It makes you a good listener. Bartenders are good listeners, teachers are good listeners, therapists are good listeners. But this doesn't mean they're qualified to work in sales. You have to have a few more than just good presentation and good listening skills to work in sales. First of all, you have to have a little common sense.

For example, I worked as a sales manager for years. And I had my fair share of good and bad reps, but I also had some weird ones as well. And yes, sometimes I hired them, and sometimes I didn't, but believe me there are a lot of strange people out there who call themselves sales reps. And one of the strangest was this woman I didn't hire, but met at a regional sales training conference one year. Her name was Nancy.

Nancy was in her 2nd year of sales with this company I had just been hired to manage. How she got through the first year I'll never know. Probably, because she was attractive, and they saw potential in her looks, but not her abilities. Remember, you can be the most beautiful woman in the world, but that doesn't mean you can sell anything. Believe it or not, there is some skill involved in the sales process, and Nancy was lacking in this department. Namely, she was timid, and didn't speak well. She was former elementary school teacher who her friends encouraged her to try sales because she was a "people person". So here was Nancy in her second year, and this was one of my first regional meetings with this new company. I was new to the company but they felt compelled to have me run the meeting. Probably because they wanted me to impress them, and partially because they were too lazy to organize it themselves. So to start the meeting I asked all of the representatives to tailor a presentation that showed both their personal and professional goals and I asked them to tie the two goals together. Because for me, it was important that my team see their professional goals as a means of achieving there personal goals as well. They had a week to prepare their presentations and I thought this would be both informative and fun.

So, I started the meeting, and I wanted to have each sales rep, guide us through a 10-15 minute presentation on how they would achieve their goals, both professionally and personally. We had 30 reps in the region so this would fill the 1st day of a 3 day seminar. It would take all day for everyone to present, so I just sat back with the other managers and we evaluated our sales force. Some of the presentations were very good, with PowerPoint slides and handouts, while others clearly lacked creativity or were just poorly presented. However Nancy's presentation was not lacking in creativity. In fact, it was incredibly creative, so much so , that it scared me.

For her afternoon presentation, Nancy brought in a number of visual aids, or presentation tools. A few of them, I was unfamiliar with and had never seen used in the field. I was expecting her to use her credibility binder, but instead she brought a blanket, family photos, and candles. I understood the need for family photos, obviously she was tying in her personal goals and her family was important. Why she had candles and a blanket I didn't know, but she soon made all of us aware of her intentions.

She went to the center of the room, moved some chairs, and asked for help in laying down her blanket. A few of the other reps helped her spread out this enormous blanket in the center of our conference room. On the blanket she placed framed photos of her loved ones along with the candles, which she laid out in circular fashion. When she was finished she asked, "Can someone turn down the lights or turn them off please?" Anxious to see what she was going to do next, one of the other managers, ran to the light switch and dimmed the overhead lights. As he did so, the crowd fell hush. She had everyone's attention in the room.

One by one, she lit the candles, until she had surrounded herself in light and she lay on the blanket. I presumed she had learned this technique of presentation in her coven, and she thought the effect would transfer well to the corporate world. There were so many lit candles I was concerned for two reasons. Reason number one, is the fire alarm was going to go off because she has lit more candles than you'd find on an elderly persons birthday cake. Reason number two, is she going to be burned alive while she is presenting. As I was mulling over both potential catastrophies, Nancy picked up one of the pictures and said,

"I know that I am a good person. I know that you are all good people. So why do we have to label ourselves with a number? Is a sales number that important that we lose sight of the fact that we are here to support our children?", and as she said this she held up a picture of one of her kids.

"I love my kids and I will do anything to support them, and I will try hard to hit my quota. But if I don't hit my quota does this make me a bad person? No! I am a good person whether I hit my number or not. So don't judge me on what I do but, rather who I am." She held her arms straight out holding the picture frame as if she were trying to give it to someone, anyone, everyone, in the room.

"This is my son Conner. He's 6 and I'm here to support him and his sister." She then picked up another photo frame and held it out with a picture of a little girl, "This is Christie and I am here working and supporting her too. She doesn't care about a number, and neither does Conner so why should any of you? "

"I will work hard and try to reach my goal, but deep down, I know that even if I'm not successful, I still have my family to love and help me be a better person. " She said this and then walked out of the circle and over to a small "boom box", she had positioned on a table. She pressed a button and the song, "It's a Beautiful Day" started playing rather loudly in the conference room, and as the lyrics started, I noticed that Nancy was singing along with the song!

We were all enthralled.

"It's a beautiful day! Hope I'm not a hopeless case. Touch me....", she sang loudly and with conviction. It was riveting to see this person going through all this production just to explain why she didn't want to be linked to a number. As the song continued she started to improvise lyrics, "I know I'm not just a number.", and "The quota's are set, there's no way we can turn them around. But I'm gonna get set to make them when I get down.", and then she did a semi dance move and through her arms in the air. I looked around the room at all he gaping mouths from the other reps. At least what I perceived as gaping mouths in a darkened room. We all were in shock and as she began to wrap up her performance, Nancy moved lightly back to her "circle of life" and then spun around twice and slowly lowered herself down to the ground in time with the music as it slowly faded. There was a moment of silence as if someone's career had just ended.

And then, thunderous applause from our Vice President, who obviously had a crush on Nancy,

"That's what I'm talking about people! Now that's creative! We all need to be more like that. Way to put your heart into it Nancy!" All of us began clapping as well, loudly, mimicking the idiot who would soon be fired for promoting the use of obvious fire hazards during sales presentations. It was obvious they were sleeping together or perhaps he was just so old he couldn't see her performance in that darkened room.

But he did see her, and we all joined in supporting her act. I was wondering how many more matinees she would be performing in the conference room, and if her "show" would be held over for another week. But in the end Nancy's career, only lasted 2 more months, during which she did nothing. And I mean nothing. She showed no activity, no sales, nothing. I guess some people are really meant to perform numbers not just be one.

-M