New Employee Orientation and Training

   I started a new position today and like many reps, I was excited to begin a new path in my career.  However, like all new reps, I was also thrown into a group during employee orientation and training which had the same familiar people as my old company.  Like all National Sales Meetings, employee training or orientation seem to have a lot of the same characters no matter what company you're working for.  They are as follows:

The "Chatty Cathy" or "Peppy Peter"-  These people are generally nice so it really is mean to make fun of them, but I'm not a nice person so this is why they made the list.  They're just annoying.  They always have something to say NO MATTER WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS SAYING.  In fact, it seems as if they must barge in on every conversation that is within 6 feet of them.  They appear to have something in common with everyone, and despite their good nature they can be a nuisance by the end of the week.  Here are some strategies and phrases to keep them from popping up in the middle of your conversations:

Cathy: "You have kids.  Really? That's great!  I have kids too.  What a coinkie dink?"
You: " My kids are dead.  Are your kids dead too? How's that for a coinkie dink?"

Peter: "You're leasing a Mercedes!  That's amazing I'm leasing a Mercedes too.  I have an "S" Series."
You: "I'm actually not leasing it.  In my case the "S" stands for STOLEN.   But don't tell anyone."

   In addition to being frighteningly upbeat and trying to hone in on your conversations, these people always offer advice to all the other new employees. 
"You should do it this way not that way!", or "I've done that before but here's what you should really do if you want to be successful"
They act as if they've been with the company 15 years!  When the fact is they're just as green as anyone else in the room, but they're afraid to admit it.  My advise to this person is "Shut The Hell Up!"

Shawn the Serial Killer - This person always fits the description of a serial killer.  He is over 40 years old, single, white, male, and he just looks creepy.  He socializes with the other employees, but he cocks his head to one side and looks at them like a dog would when it's trying to understand what a person is saying.  He talks a lot about online gaming, World of Warcraft, Call of Duty , and his strange hobbies like taxidermy.

Chances are his personal hygiene is not that great, and his breath smells like he just ate something that came from the bowels of a cow or a horse.  And what 's odd is no matter how many times you offer him a breath mint or some gum, he refuses for some odd reason.  He is the guy everyone tries to avoid at dinner, lunch, or during social hour, and despite his being a nice person, you always wonder if he's picturing your head inside of his fridge.  It's best to be friendly to him just to ensure you make it through orientation alive.

Hot Hannah/Harry - I don't understand why these people even attend the meetings because they always speak like they are so together and far more advanced then the rest of us human beings.  They say things, "I don't know why I'm here, because I've already had this training.  You guys might need it though."

They are engaged to be married to a doctor, lawyer, or some famous person, and they make sure that everyone knows about it.  Hannah is invariably talking about how much her wedding dress will cost, and how great her wedding is going to be in the summer, while Harry brags about his upcoming bachelor party and the hot chicks he used to date before he decided to "settle down".  And he always reminds you it "chicks" plural because he's such a stud he couldn't settle for just one woman until now.  She makes sure to remind you that her dress is from a famous designer and the caterer is the same one who handled the Royal Wedding.

You know they are going to do well in the field because they are actually good, but secretly you're hoping they fall flat on their face so you can rub it in.

Scott The Systems Guy- There is always a nerdy IT guy helping everyone with their computers, and looking sinister with his odd pull over sweater and hunched over walk.  He leers at the girls as he helps set up presentations, and he seems nice enough, but you wonder why he has those odd stains on his pants and that slight bit of drool on the side of his mouth.  Obviously he's not required to follow the company dress code, because he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans everyday.  However, he's so invaluable that they let him do what he wants without repercussions.  Who else is going to set up the webinars and Power Point presentations, while acting suspiciously and sweating profusely?  He quickly makes friends with Shawn The Serial Killer.

What Were They Thinking Wally/Wendy-  I am consistently amazed at how some people ever get hired. I once took over for a manager years ago, and when I met his receptionist my first thought was "What the hell was this guy thinking when he hired her?"  She was grumpy, overweight, and had an full head of curly gray hair.  She would give me the finger behind my back and she smelled bad all day long.  A nightmare for your "Director of First Impressions". 

So when you head to orientation there is always one new hire who fits this description.  And sales is no exception for managers making the same mistake.  The person shows up wearing an outfit from the 1960's and the fashionable hair style to boot.  The manager always justifies the hire by saying, "Well he/she knows a lot of people in the business."  Knowing people in the business and actually selling the business are two completely different things.  Just because person has been around a long time, doesn't necessarily mean they're doing a good job. Sometimes it simply means they've been able to avoid getting fired by moving from company to company before their manager figures out what a royal fuck up they are.   These people shouldn't even be in the orientation let alone participating.  It's bad for everyone else's morale to be in the same room with this person because you're thinking, "Jesus Christ.  This person makes the same amount of money as I do, and they have enough dandruff  for me to snowboard through the conference room."

Regardless of the circumstances it is just good to have a job during the current recession, and despite some of your current co-workers riding a fine line between normal and psychotic, be thankful you're employed.  Have a good day selling!

Post Holiday Blues

You know that Elvis song "Blue Christmas", I might write a song entitled, "Blue after Christmas", because that's the way everyone is feeling today as we head back to work following the holidays.   Yes the holidays can suck, especially if you celebrate them alone.  Now if you celebrate them alone but are surrounded by toy action figures who are your "friends", you may want to seek help.  Or at least get some real friends. And if you had a family holiday from hell, or you got in a fight on New Years Eve, then you might actually be looking forward to work this week.

Yet for most of us, it's that lousy day where we come in all fat and happy and realize that we need to go to the gym to lose all that from the egg nog, fudge, cookies, candy, turkey, stuffing, matzo balls, lutefisk, or whatever else you ate during the holidays. I can't believe people actually eat lutefisk?  It's disgusting. I heard over the holidays,a few restaurants in Minnesota can make it taste like lobster.  To me it taste like lobster for sure, lobster that's been sitting out for 5 days in a chemical solution that would kill a cockroach, and then soaked in radioactive water.  Doesn't that sound delicious?

In order to overcome the depression of heading back to work I have five quick recommendations for you to recover from your holiday hang over:

1.  Act Like It's Still The Holiday Season - Hey, no one said the holidays have to end after New Years.  I say we prolong it right through til Spring.  Why should we let "The Man" tell us when to end our celebration?  In the Year of The Protester I say we protest an end to the holiday season and extend it til at least Easter.  So keep wearing ugly sweaters, send out cards, and keep your tree up until April 1st.  Well, keep the tree watered otherwise you might have a potential fire hazard in the living room.  Don't take down your lights, hell some of you leave them up all year round anyway.  But turn them on, and play lame holiday music loud and annoy your neighbors.  It's the spirit of the holidays that never dies, and why should it die on January 2nd. 

     2. Wear Festive Underwear - If you are afraid that someone will look oddly at you for still        wearing reindeer antlers or funny looking sweaters, then don some holiday undergarments. Here's a    few samples for both men and women from abcunderwear.com and maidenform.com. Nothing will make you feel more festive than these lovely undergarments, and wearing them will keep you smiling through til spring.  Their nothing like a holiday party in your pants!

The pair above is a little too sexy for my personal taste, and I don't think I would look that good in a thong, but to each his/her own.  I prefer the Santa Boxers at the top of the post, much classier.  When you wear something that makes you feel festive, then they day progresses that much faster.  The underwear doesn't pertain to just Christmas alone. There are also Hanukkah briefs.   These are brought to you courtesy of Cafe Press and the printing at the bottom reads, "Light My Menorah".  Jewish or Gentile, these are awesome; and if you wear these how could you not be in a good mood! 

 

      3. Drink Egg Nog Daily - There is no drink that screams "It's The Holiday Season!", like egg nog.  A completely gross and fattening concoction of milk, cream, sugar, and eggs.  But oh what a tasty delight it is!  Now I recommend drinking light egg nog since whole egg nog would make you as big as Santa Clause.  And I recommend you run out and buy a bunch of it NOW!  Because it will soon be off the shelves of stores since it's primarily a holiday drink.  So go buy about 10 gallons so you can make it through the winter. 

I also recommend that after drinking all this egg nog you have your cholesterol checked once per week, exercise daily, and have your arteries cleansed before they become clogged.  It's fattening yes, but boy it taste sooooo good...

     4. Re-gift Those Crappy Holiday Gifts - If you received a "White Elephant" for the holidays, make sure you share that rare holiday treat with someone you know.  Nothing makes you feel better than confusing people with a gift they won't want, and it's not even the holidays.  Call it an "Un-Birthday Present".  And make them feel the love, or hate, or whatever.  You must have customers out there that you don't like or whom you are not terribly fond of.  Why not give them a little gift during the winter to lighten their spirits, like Divinity candy?  No one enjoys that hard, white candy, that is almost impossible to eat in less than an hour. They'll be sucking on that stuff for hours just to get it soft enough to chew. Why don't you re-gift all your friends with holiday pound cake? They can either eat it, or use it as a door stop.

Personally, I have a lot of chocolate which I know is not good for me and I shouldn't eat.  But why should I keep it all to myself?  I'll pass it on to friends or clients, who I know are resolved to losing weight, just to challenge them to overcome their obsession with sweets.  Am I an enabler?  Maybe?  But at least I don't have to look at all that sponge candy anymore. And he if they start eating the sweets I'd say it's a win-win for us.

     5. Wear Snuggies or Sweatpants Everywhere - Unfortunately some of you may be doing this already, which is really sad.  But during the holidays, most people wear nothing but sweatpants or snuggies during the entire 2 weeks.  So why stop now that the holidays are over? So you haven't showered in ten days, who cares?  I'm sure you can easily go another ten days without water desecrating your body.   If you're required to be in the office, wear a Snuggie for Casual Fridays.  If you have to go visit customers, or prospects, make light of what you're wearing and say, "Sorry I just rolled out of bed", which you literally did.  They'll think it's funny! 

Wear your sweatpants to the mall, or out to the movies.  Why shouldn't the entire year be a holiday for you.  I have noticed that some of you already do this consistently, so you might wanna curb it a little during the summer.  Those Snuggies can get extremely toasty in May and June.  But remember this nothing screams it's the Holiday Season like the stale smell of your own body. It brings out the flavor of the cookies...

I hope you take my advice, or at least some of it, to get over your holiday blues if you have any.

Happy Year Round Holidays!

-M

What's Humane about Human Resources?

       Recently,  I have been on a job search again, and I've noticed a progression over the years towards the de-humanization of Human Resources at almost every company to which I apply.  Now I may upset more than a few people with this article, including my sister, who was once head of a Human Resource department. However in my opinion,  "HR" people are not the best representation of a company. In fact, I can state with credibility that they are sometimes the worst choice to represent your company.


      For example,  when I would recruit at universities and colleges in the Los Angeles area, notably USC, UCLA, Pepperdine, and others, I never liked to bring an HR person. Why?  Because half the time they are eliminating candidates based upon some random behavior they noted in an interview.  After screening candidates a few years back, I sat down with our HR Director and we reviewed a pool of candidates.
HR Director: "I don't like this guy, he stared at me too long during the interview.  I think he would scare away customers."
Me: "Isn't eye contact good?"
HR Director: "Yes, but not this kind.  His right eye barely moved.  It was frightening. It had this glaze over, almost kinda dead look to it."
Me: "Really?  You do realize that he has a fake eye?  He mentioned it to us last time we were on campus."
HR Director: "Oh! Hmmmm.  I guess he's okay then. Sorry I didn't know that."
Me: " You did the screening!  Aren't these your notes on the back of the resume?"
HR Director: " Oh yeah.  We see so many people it's hard to remember them all."
Me: " I see.  Yeah we interview so many people with fake eyes I can see where you might miss one."


    They spend more time disqualifying candidates rather than trying to hire them.  It's called "weeding".  They want to make sure they weed out all the bad candidates to get to the good ones.  The problem is there is so much room for discretionary judgement, and I'm not so certain HR people are as objective as you might think.  The following conversation was one I had with an HR person following a recruiting trip to Pepperdine.


HR: "I don't like this girl.  She's European, and she's way too pretty for this position."
Me: "I thought we were sticking to just the qualifications and not focusing on the people yet."
HR: "We are, but I don't see her as working out.  She'll manipulate people into buying, and she won't sell them."
Me: " Wow.  You really think so?  How long was your interview with her."
HR: " Like 10 minutes.  But I can glean a lot from a person in ten minutes."
Me: " Really?  Glean? Are you Edward from the movie "Twilight"?"
HR: " Very funny.  I wish I could do that.  I love that movie.  But I don't love this candidate.  She's not the right fit."
Me: " And what's your basis for that judgement?  Because the sales rep and the sales manager liked her."
HR: " European background.  I'm not sure she understands the American work ethic.  They all get 8 weeks vacation over there you know.  It's a red flag. Too pretty and too European. We should pass on her."
Me: " Okay, yeah no, I'm going to move her forward in the process."


(It was a good thing I did move her forward because the candidate turned out to be a great management trainee)


Human Resources is really no longer about humans.  It is now more about the resource.  People have developed this field into a science, almost like geology, however here we are "mining" people.  In fact, Human Resources is a business major at many college and universities.   I guess technically it is now a science. Well trained Human Resource specialists are searching for a diamond in a pile of coal, or a nugget of gold surrounded by clumps of pyrite.  It is a difficult task and not everyone can do a good job of finding that "mother lode".  That's why during the Gold Rush not that many people got rich. It's a crap shoot.


Recently, I've been receiving a lot of calls from company recruiters. I find it ironic when HR recruiters from companies identify themselves to me as Talent Acquisition Specialists. What is this a theater company?  During an interview with one of these "talent acquisition specialists", I told him I wasn't a good dancer, as a joke, and he responded in a dead pan voice:
"You don't need that skill set for this position." I nearly dropped my phone  and the call!
Are you acquiring talent or are you just screening out what you determine as poor talent? It's hard to determine talent when your only interview is over the phone.  Would a movie director hire an actor without a screen test? Heck no!  I always do well on phone interviews, but can you really get an idea of how well a person will perform a job over a fiber optic network? 


I think the problem with Human Resource personnel is they see so many bad candidates that it's difficult for them to determine which one's are good anymore.  They spend so much of their days dealing with the negative aspects of business such as the firings, downsizing, disciplinary actions, that they can no longer "relate" to people. In fact, I would argue that they ostracized themselves so they can remain objective.


 HR employees cannot and will not empathize with employees because it's too painful for them on a personal level, and it would make their job that much more difficult if they saw a person sitting in front of them as more then a number.  This is a major problem in this field and why it needs a paradigm shift, especially in this economy.  With so many layoffs, firings, and dips in the economy more than ever we need to put a humane face of the science of Human Resources.  Let's put the H back into HR.


-M

Are You In The Right Profession FOR YOU?!

     “Why sales for God’s sake?”  This was my father’s first reaction when I told him that I was going to give up my life as a successful Service Manager, and venture into sales.  He saw it as a demotion, a step down, an end to my successful career.  I saw it as something different.  My perception was that it was “easy money”.  I found out pretty quickly that it is definitely not easy.  It can be “easy money” but it takes a long time, and a lot of experience, before you get to the point where this job is somewhat easy.  Seriously, it is a lot of hard work.  It doesn’t get easy until you’re established and that can take YEARS!

     And I know what you newbies are thinking, “He’s not me.  I’m better than him.  I’m gonna be the best and fast. Hell I’m already the best!”  It’s funny how right out of the gate new reps think they’ve got it down.  Well ask yourself this one question new girl/guy: “Can I handle pressure?”  Because that’s what sales is about: pressure.  Applying pressure, receiving pressure, the pressure of a number hanging over your head AT ALL TIMES.  The pressure to succeed in persuading people to your point of view, hourly, daily, monthly, yearly, knowing you’re only as good as your last sale.  It’s not easy and not everyone can sell.  It’s a unique profession, and one that is learned and earned. 

     So before you read any more posts, make sure YOU WANT TO BE IN SALES.  Don’t give me that ridiculous adage, “I’m good with people”. I hear that all the time in interviews.  “My friends told me I’m good with people so I should try sales.”   Every time I hear that from a candidate I want to lean over the desk and slap them upside the head.  But I can’t do this for obvious legal reasons.  This is an answer from someone who really doesn’t know what they want to do with their career.   A person, who is deferring a life changing choice to someone else.  Do you know who else is good with people: DOGS.  Dogs are great with people, in fact, dogs are better than you are with people.  But I won’t be buying my next car, cell phone, couch, computer, furniture, software, or any other consumable product from a dog.  Hopefully, I’ll be buying it from one of you.  

    If you're floundering in the sales profession and you're not happy, there's nothing wrong with doing something else.  In fact, I would recommend it.  Not everyone can sell, and that for me, is a good thing.

-M

Too cool for school: AKA "THE TOPPER"

We've all worked with one jackass or another that always has to top the story that you're telling with one of their own.  As if anything you do, they can do better.  Like Betty Hutton in "Annie Get Your Gun".  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO23WBji_Z0&feature=related

    I love that video, but these people don't necessarily have to be colleagues either, they can be friends, classmates, or even relatives.  The worst ones are always going on about what they did, or who they saw.  It's just so annoying.  And with these types of people who are so into themselves, you should NEVER,NEVER,NEVER, confirm their friend request on facebook.  You are just asking for stupid updates every 5 minutes from them about what they're doing, where, they're going, etc.  Do I give a shit if you're at Starbucks or Coffee Bean?  NO!

    So I ran into an old colleague of mine from years back, he was actually interviewing for a position with the same company as I was interviewing. He was just sitting in the lobby when I walked in and registered for my own interview. He had always been a "Topper" and despite the 5 years in which we hadn't seen each other,  he was still exactly the same.  Full of shit.   As we sat in the lobby waiting for our respective H.R. interviewers he asked me what I was up to:

"I'm obviously working in medical sales the same as you."

" Oh right.  Yeah I'm killing it right now.  I'm making so much money it's crazy.  I'm only here because they're supposed to make me a great offer."

"Oh really?  That's great."

" Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll get this job.", he said and the receptionist who was obviously listening looked over at us.

" Good for you.  How is Kim doing?", I asked referring to his fiancee, who assumed he had married, but this was years ago and I couldn't be sure.

" She's good.  I guess. We got divorced, but now I'm dating this super hot model chick.  Here's her picture.", he pulled out his wallet and showed me what looked to be a picture of Joanna Krupa but cut out from a magazine or ad.  I think I could even see the top of the caption, but I didn't say anything.

" That's who you're dating?  That looks like Joanna Krupa.  The famous lingerie model?" I said with an air of incredulity.

" Oh yeah she get's that a lot.  She's super hot huh?  Much hotter than Kim."
" I thought Kim seemed like a nice girl."

" She was nice.  But not the girl for me.  I'm going places so I need someone on my arm that makes me look good."

" Yeah sure I guess."

" Dude you're still the same.  Probably still married.", he said and then laughed.  As if being married was a joke or something. "You still driving a Honda?"

I kept trying to to think why was I even talking to this idiot?  This person who was obviously full of himself and full of crap.  Why waste my time?  But then I decided to mess with him.
"Nope.  I'm driving an Audi now.  It's my company car? What about you?"

" Really?  An Audi? My company car is a Porsche.  It's that grey one outside.", he seemed a bit irritated I had upgraded my means of transportation.

" I didn't see a Porsche outside when I pulled up?"

" Oh it's out there.  So are you still married?  How's that going?"

" Nope.  It was rough, but I got through it.  I'm dating someone right now.  Great girl but she travels a lot."

" My girl doesn't travel at all.  She's there for me whenever I need her.  Great girl. Great girl.  Ya got a picture of your lady?"

" No I don't sorry. But you've  probably seen her before, she's always on TV."

" What? Get outta here.  Seriously?  She an actress or something? Wait don't tell me. It's Betty White?", he said and laughed at his own joke.

" Awww, I don't want to talk it.", I said but I was stalling for time, since unlike him I didn't have a pre planned web of lies at my disposal.  So as I was trying to gather my thoughts, I saw a few magazines on the table and picked out the first girl I saw.  It was kind of a stretch, but I decided if he pushed me; I'd give him her name.  And naturally, he pushed.

" Oh what?!  You can't throw that out there and not tell me.  Who is she?"

" That's not important dude.  She's pretty famous, but a lot of people don't really like her."

" Your not gonna tell me?  Why not?  Don't hold out now."

" I'm a little embarrassed."

" Why is she ugly or something.  It's not that fat chick from Bridesmaids is it?"

" No it's not the funny girl from Bridesmaids.  And no she's not ugly. She's beautiful.  It's just she's not exactly my type, but I just met her at a party with a few friends and we hit it off."
As I said this, I could see it was driving him nuts, and he was planning his next move to trump my new girlfriend. 

" Your type? Your type?  Dude, you were married!  C'mon tell me.  I won't tell anyone."
" Alright her names Kim.  She recently got divorced and she was married to an NBA player."

His faced curled up for a moment, as if he was thinking very hard, and then I saw that he had an epiphany.

" Kim Kardashian?  Get the fuck outta here.", and as he said this the receptionist looked up. "Sorry.", he said just to not make him self look bad.

" Yep.  She's actually not as dumb as you think.  I was at a party in Glendale and I guess she grew up with these people and we started talking and she thinks I'm funny so..."

" No friggin way dude. Kim Kardashian!  You are messing with me."

" No I'm not dude.  I swear.  It's nothing serious though.   We just starting seeing each other.  3 or 4 dates is all."

" Wow!  Well we know how she is in bed.", he said and started to laugh.  I didn't get it, but then I remembered Kim Kardashian had a  sex tape.

" Oh right.", I said and chuckled.

    Just then both of our interviewers came into the lobby and introduce themselves.  I guess we were interviewing for 2 different divisions of the same company. We rose from our chairs, and I turned and shook his hand.

"  Good luck." , I said and smiled.

"  You too.  Kim Kardashian huh?", obviously he was perplexed and couldn't figure out how to top my new love interest.

" Yep." I said and smiled again. "Lucky me."

" Well c'mon M, she's not THAT hot.", he said, and I couldn't believe it.  He was gonna insult my new lady friend, and try to "top" me in the process.  So as we each started to follow our interviewers down the hall, and came to a fork in the hallway, I sent him a parting shot.

" Oh yes she is, and I can show you a REAL picture of her.", I said and then laughed.

He tried to say something but I just turned and walked down the hallway, knowing that I'd just topped... "The Topper".

Have a great day selling!

-M

Keep It In Perspective: Reality Check Please?

So many blogs, books, articles today focus on maintaining a positive attitude and this will help you to be successful. Napoleon Hill's, "Think and Grow Rich" is a perfect example of utilizing positive reinforcement to help you achieve your goals. What the book offers is insight into your beliefs to help you achieve your goals. But too many people are searching for this get rich quick scheme, especially in today's economy. I bet half the people who read it don't even finish the book, which is sad because it's a fascinating look at the world, although somewhat dated (1937).

I think one of the keys to Mr. Hill's success is that he wrote this book when there was nothing else out there to compete with it in the marketplace. He was a pioneer of the "Science of Success" and as a result he became rich. I think the book should be retitled "Write and Grow Rich."

In sales, as in life, there are often two schools of thought:

THE HAVES – This school is characterized by overly obsessive positive thinking. In other words not only is your glass half full, it seems, to you, that it’s almost full because you're ridiculously positive. You ALWAYS think the customer will buy from you, no matter what the circumstances. You don’t even drink coffee because you don’t need it. You are that pumped up to start your day. You'll visit the same customer 500 times because you're so certain that everyone will buy that you simply cannot give up. You have Successories posters all over your house, office, garage, and in your car. You listen to tapes in your car, not cd's: TAPES. Every morning you wake up, look in the mirror, and say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it. People like me!"

Richard Simmons, Tony Robbins, and Stuart Smalley are your heroes.

Your school’s mascot – Tigger

THE HAVE NOTS – The opposite of "The Haves", where everything is someone else’s fault and through no fault of your own you suck at sales, life, and everything else. You have to overcome so much just to get the prospect to the table that it’s a miracle you get out of bed in the morning. You would be number one in your region if the stupid customers would just buy from you. Every customer to you is a potential asshole, and when they don't buy something from you, they are an even bigger asshole. You want desperately to be successful but can't stop listening to Goth music, and the Smiths long enough to go out on sales calls.

Marilyn Manson, Donnie Darko, Chicken Little, and Debbie Downer are your heroes.

The school’s mascot – Eeyore.

Several different authors have perceptions about why people are successful and why they are not. You are not interested in those people. You should be interested in what will make you successful and only you. Because each snowflake is different, so is each level of personal success. Why the hell would you care if a rep in Poughkeepsie is number one. Care about yourself and your numbers and keep it in perspective.

Don't be so positive thinking that you waste your time with customers who will never buy because that, in itself, is pathetic. You're not perfect and not everyone will buy no matter what all the books tell you. I read one book which recommended that you should never read the newspaper or watch television. Why? Because it's depressing...great advice ,let's just block out all reality. Books tell you to never let a negative thought creep into your reality because then you're entire psyche will tumble like a house of cards. C'mon are you that weak? NO! Realize that not everyone loves you and there are times when you "fish" or "cut bait"

In contrast, don't be so morose that you would depress the customers. Have you ever been around one of those people that just looks at every thing that is negative in the world, because they're unhappy with their life? I had an associate who used to be an Intensive Care Unit nurse and so she had a slightly warped perspective on life. She had been around death for the last 10 years so she didn't know how to turn that switch off. On one of my very first sales calls with her, she started talking about her friend's battle with breast cancer. I felt bad for her friend but this was not the time to be discussing the issue, and she brought it up while we were discussing something like bariatric beds. The contact emailed me the very next day not to bring her around anymore because she was TOO DEPRESSING.

As a rep your job is to get people excited about your products and services, not ruin their day. So stay positive in the call, because you want people excited to see you, not running away from you. It's all about your perspective. Stay positive, but stay realistic, and you'll do fine.

Have a great day selling!

-M

Beware of the Bullshit

I have been pursuing an account for almost 8 months now, and I am getting great feedback and almost no orders. I have great rapport with everyone in the place! Hell I even know the janitor's first name for god's sake. But still no orders.

So today, I decided I was going to find out from the doctors, the nurses, the night watchman, why the hell there were no orders coming from this account. I held an in service (for the 6th time), demonstrated our products...AGAIN. And finally ask if they had any questions. As usual they said no. So I responded as follows:

"No one has any questions at all? Well I have a question for all of you."

Every one's eyes just kind turned up from the food they were eating. I had their attention...finally.

"Do guy's believe anything I'm saying about these products or do you think. Pardon my French. That it's all just bullshit. That they don't actually work?", and I said this without a smile. Just to see their reactions.

Everyone was shocked. But they had no problems speaking up.

"Wow. Uh that's awkward. Way to spoil our lunch M.", said one of the nurses.

I was not deterred. "Well, listen I like to come here and chat, but if you guys don't believe in the product, I can't force you to use it. I could be the best salesman in the world but if you don't like it then why buy it."

" We don't buy it because we don't like it. And frankly I don't like this line of questioning.", said the doctor.

"Finally!", I said, "Some feedback." and then I smiled. "Thank you doc. What don't you like about it."

"It's not as pliable or malleable as you say it is. It doesn't conform the way we want it to.", he answered.

"Okay that's all I wanted to hear. I just couldn't understand why no one told me that before.", was my response.

"Because we like you, and like having you come around. You're funny.", answered another nurse.

"Thanks. But if I'm not helping you then I'm not doing my job. In reference to the product you mentioned doc. We have a line of that product that is thicker and more absorbent and you might try that one. Just give it a shot on a patient and see what happens."

"Alright, I will. But don't get mad at me if I don't like it."

"Doc, I can't get mad about that. It's a matter of personal choice. I just am happy I found out why you weren't ordering. It makes me feel so much better to know the reason, then just be in limbo. Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem. Can we eat now.", he said and then started to laugh.

"One more question." I said and they all looked at me with disapproving eyes.

"Can you validate my parking?", and the whole room burst out into laughter.

I would rather a person be honest with me and tell me why they don't want to buy, then drag it out. As a salesperson until we hear the word "NO", we always hold out hope we'll make the sale. But if the prospect never says no, we just keep coming back for more. As long as we haven't been rejected, we feel like we've got a shot. It's like that scene from the movie "Dumb and Dumber"
When Lloyd is told he has a one in a million shot to date his dream girl Mary.

His response, "So you're telling me there's a chance!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KX5jNnDMfxA

Don't be a Lloyd and hang on when your chances are one in a million. MOVE ON!