Anyone Can Sell - Really?

In my lengthy career I meet with operations people all the time and executives who are in need of help with their sales teams.  Usually, when someone is coming in to give advice on how to increase your sales, it means your team sucks.  It's true.  Why would you need a new sales manager if your team is kicking ass?  One thing I have learned from these meetings with RM's,VP's, CEO's, and COO's, is that operations people really think that, "Anyone can sell."

I may have been paraphrasing but I heard those particular words from a VP of a very large corporation in the service industry.  He said it over and over and over. 

"Anyone can sell. It's a numbers game.  The more people you see, the more you're going to sell.  You just have to stay on top of it. Sales reps are lazy.  That's the problem." 

I was initially offended by his remark, and then curious as to why he thought that sales was so easy. So I asked, "You seem to know a lot about sales. Were you a sales person for while?"

"Well not officially, but I sold accounts.  I'd take the executives out for golf with the sales rep, and after a few drinks.  Bingo!  They signed the contract.  No problem.  I can remember this really big account where we were having trouble landing it and I came in, talked to them for a few minutes and bam!  They signed."

At first, I was tempted to tell him that all he really did was help with the closing.  That the rep did all the leg work, the appointment setting, the golf reservations, and the needs analysis, but since I didn't want to offend his pompous ass, and I was a potential new employee,  I held back some very sarcastic and biting remarks and asked him another question.

"If it's such an easy job, and this means no disrespect to you.  Why is your company's turnover so high and why are your reps not selling?  Do you have any idea?"

"They're fucking lazy.", he said and then laughed. "I don't know, that's why we're talking to you.  You're supposed to know this shit." He said and then laughed again.

I laughed too, just to make sure he was comfortable with me.  He seemed like a good guy, amiable, but just confused.  Operations people tend to think everything can be fixed, including an under performing rep.  Not to offend any operations people, because I too was in operations for a long time.  They tend to believe if you make a process map for everything, then you can figure out what's wrong and you can fix the problem. That if you review your Six Sigma training, you can actually "fix" a person, even an under performing rep.  Wrong!

"Good one.", I said. "Okay, besides not being fucking lazy, what are you looking for in a successful rep?  For example, what kind of background do you want them to have?  Do you want them to have a degree? Do you want them to have a sales background? What are you looking for?"

"That's my Sales VP's job to figure that stuff out. Hell that'll be your job if we take you on. I got enough issues to deal with,to keep this ship moving forward. It's her job to handle that."

CEO's, COO's, VP's, all say that same stupid shit.  They always draw analogies to football, soccer, baseball, and war: oh especially war. "I wanna know would you go to war with this sales team you have?", I would often hear people shouting at their managers. One time, my general manager asked me that very same question.

"If you were going to war.  Would you take this team you have?"
"Well no I wouldn't."
" I knew it! Then you should fire all of them and get a team that you would take to war."
" If you let me finish, I wouldn't take them to war, because first of all Heather is a pacifist and not very fit.  She may look fit but she's not.  Shawn has asthma so he wouldn't last very long in the field, and Greg has eye problems so he probably wouldn't recognize our side from the enemy.  About the only person I would go to war with is Colin, who's a complete fucking psycho, who owns a lot of guns, hunts all the time even when it's off season, and who's hero is Buffalo Bill from the movie 'Silence of the Lambs'.  So if I had to chose some one to go to war with, it would be Colin."
"That guy is really creepy.", was my GM's response.
" Tell me about it.  You hired him remember.  But he'd be great during a war. "
"You made your point" , he said.

  I have every respect for veterans but I'm sorry to say that if you have ever been in combat, you know that it's very real and very dangerous.  When you sit behind a desk you're not at war.  You think you are, but there is no real threat you're going to get shot.  If there was a threat you would die, then maybe managers would take more interest in their "troops", to help save their asses.

I apologize for the digression, and back to our currently scheduled conundrum.  I was interviewing with a VP of a fairly good sized company who didn't think much of sales reps.

"Okay, let's forget about what she wants.  Think about it on a personal level.  What would you like to see in a rep.  Probably someone like yourself right?"

"Oh hell no!  I'm too much in your face.  The way I sell doesn't always work.  No, I'd want someone who was direct but not too aggressive.  Someone who could talk to people and not piss them off.  And someone with patience.  I have no patience for people who can't make a decision. ", he said and then laughed again, but a little awkwardly.

"Wait, so you're saying you want someone unlike you? Aggressive but not overly aggressive and with a little more patience?"

" I guess so.", he said and looked a bit confused.  Here was a guy running a 30 million dollar region and for the first time he was indecisive.  Initially he looked dazed, then he got pissed.

" What the hell are you getting at partner? I'm not sure I like where this is going."

I had to bring him back, "Before you get upset, and I can tell you're getting upset.  Before today, how often did you think about what you're company needed in a sales rep?  Like what were the qualifications for a good rep.  How often did you think about it?"

"I didn't think about it at all."

"Bingo!  You didn't give a shit.  Pardon my French.  But in order for your region to succeed and to be successful in sales,  you have to think about it.  It's not your responsibility to fix the problem, but you should at least be thinking about it. "

"Well that's why we called you." he said not as mad, but still a little miffed.

"I think about this stuff all day long, but I don't run this organization.  You do.  And if you give a damn every once in a while, then everyone else will follow suit. If you don't give a shit, then they don't give a shit."

He looked at me long and hard, trying to intimidate me, but hell I already had a job, so what did I care if he was offended.  I was speaking the truth, and pretty soon he understood, and his stare went from hard to relaxed. 

"That makes sense. Lead by example.", he said and nodded his head.

" I'm not saying go in and give a rah rah speech to all your sales people.  Just think about what you want in a rep, and pass that message along.  Then people will start to care, if you care."

" I like this guy.  Smart, and a smart ass.  I should give him your job.", he said and pointed at the RM who said nothing, but chuckled a bit.

" So I think that's part of the issue here is that the perception is that anyone can sell and so you're hiring anybody TO sell.  It's not that easy. We need GREAT people to sell your product not just anybody."

" Keep talking." he said and smiled.

" So if I were to accept this position, I would start by changing the hiring standards, and find people who have all the characteristics of a sales rep.  And I wouldn't hire just anyone.  Because...?", and I held out my finger waiting for a response.

" Not just anyone can sell.", he finished my sentence.  " I get it. I get it.  When can you start?" was his next question.

" I would have to give notice, but I'm still interviewing.", I said and smiled.

" Well don't take too long the position won't be open for much longer.  It's down to you and two other candidates.", he said trying to forcibly close me.

" I won't. ", I answered.

   And I didn't.  I called his RM the very next day and declined the position.   I didn't want to work for an asshole like that anyway.  "Anyone can sell!"  FU!

-M

Why Sales Reps Hate CRM's

CRM's have been around for a while, but it wasn't until salesforce became a big data monster did sales reps even pay attention to what was entered into their company CRM. Well now you have to pay attention, because if you don't, it may cost you your job.

 "Good morning sales reps, and we want to know what you're doing every minute of every day including your days off, and if you don't want to do it.  Well, you're fired."

Dear Sales Manager, screw you and your stupid cloud.

I have worked with a number of different online territory management "tools", and salesforce is the best and the worst.  It's the best because it offers a lot of content and capability, if you know how to use it correctly.  It's the worst because now it makes your boss conscious of every move you make in the field, and it takes up all your time to "fill in the blanks" of your work day.  It's really not a tool for the sales team, but more of a way to track a rep's activity.  That's right I said it.

Everyone one who reads this and works with, or for a CRM, will be upset by that remark, and make comments on how effective it is in the field. Reps spend 5 hours a week in some cases just entering all the data required. And for what?  So the managers know what you're doing every minute, of every hour, of every day.  Why do they need to know that information, if you're selling? If you are not selling, rather than enter data into your CRM, maybe you should get off your butt and go out in the field to sell.  Companies really need a CRM so when you leave or get fired someone can pick up right where you left off.  That's it, in a nutshell.  Designers can tell me its made to assist reps, and believe me CRM's do help with information and scheduling, but really it's a management tool to monitor activity...not that there's anything wrong with that.  Sales reps are an asset and assets need to be managed.  I know that's cold but it's the truth.

So why do sales reps hate CRM's?  Because like anyone else we don't want to be a number, or just an asset to be monitored.  We want to feel like we're a person not a piece of property.

Years ago, after attending corporate training on a variety of subjects including hiatal hernias, and pressure ulcers. And yes I'm being serious.  I received a phone call and a corresponding email 9 months later informing me that I wasn't filling out the fields correctly in Salesforce. Subsequently this was confusing everyone, and by everyone I mean the people at corporate monitoring sales activity.  I, personally, wasn't confused with the information. but apparently the "watch dogs" at corporate didn't appreciate my brevity of sales data. I informed them that the hour session at corporate that they spent going over the damn thing wasn't really enough time to grasp what the hell I was supposed to be entering, and if they wanted it done correctly they might want to spend a little more than 60 minutes covering the subject.  On a phone call at 5 am Pacific Time, which didn't catch me in the best of moods, here is the answer I received:

"Go to Youtube and check out the online tutorials.  They'll explain how it works.", my corporate trainer advised me on how to resolve the issue.

"Wait.  What?  You want me to learn on my own because the training wasn't adequate enough at corporate?"

"There is a lot to cover for new hires and we rely on these videos to help you. You need to review the videos and then start entering in your contacts, events, opportunities, and information correctly."

"I'm at 120% to quota right now and you want me to spend one hour each day to learn Salesforce? Why?"

"What do you mean why?  Because you have to do it. That's why!  Everyone has to do it."

"But why? It doesn't make sense.  Wouldn't my time be better spent in the field?"

"I'm not your manager so I can't answer that question."

"Even if you are not my manager, how is this helping me sell accounts?"

"What do you mean?  It helps you track all of the information you have regarding accounts, and it has all your marketing pieces and you can even email people straight from salesforce.com.  It's an invaluable tool for the sales reps."

"I have a day planner for scheduling on my iphone which is synced to my laptop computer which helps me schedule appointments in Outlook, so why do I need salesforce.  Especially since we have a separate website dedicated to marketing pieces. So again, why do I need to use salesforce?"

"What?  You need salesforce because everything is in one place and it's a handy reference tool for the reps.  What do you mean?  You can track events and opportunities and see how much progress your making.  Are you saying you're not going to fill out the information?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying.  I'm saying that this is all BS.  Salesforce is not a tool for me it's a tool to track me. I have plenty of tools to help me; a laptop, a iphone, a sales binder. And if I don't know my opportunities off the top of my head and need a CRM to help me track them, then I'm a loser.  Salesforce isn't helping me, it's helping corporate keep an eye on me."

" No it's not.  I don't want to have this conversation anymore.  Do you want me to call your manager?", I could tell that my phone call was upsetting her.  It was as if I were questioning someone's faith. I could see that she had drank the CRM Kool-Aid.  But again, her job depended on that Kool-Aid.

"You can call her, but I asked her the same question.  Just admit that it's created to track our results and not to help us and I'll hang up the phone and review the tutorials."

"I will not say that.  It's an invaluable tool to help you schedule your day, manage your territory,  and assist you in the field."

"No it's not . It takes me out of the field and I can schedule my day on Outlook. It's designed so that all the relevant information I accumulate is saved for the company, if I leave or get fired.  Just say it and I'll hang up. C'mon admit it. You know it's true?", I said and then chuckled to try and keep things light.  She didn't respond in kind.

"I will not.  I'm calling your manager the minute we end this call and maybe you WILL get fired."

"Sorry, but they don't fire reps at 120%.  20% yes, but not 120%. If you say it's made to monitor my activity I'll hang up right now and review the tutorials."

"I won't.  I will say this, if you don't start filling it out correctly I will report it to the VP, which I'm going to do anyway and you'll be in trouble."

"Okay suit yourself.  I'll call my manager right now.  Thanks for the phone call and I'll review those tutorials just so I don't get in trouble."

"Good.  I'm glad you came to your senses.  Can I expect the information to updated by Monday of next week?"

"Sure.  Cause I'm sure everyone will be looking at it to make sure I'm entering in my data correctly, not whether I'm selling or not."

"Regardless of what you think.  It must done."

"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go now, I have to rearrange my schedule and cancel a few appointments this week so I can make sure I get my salesforce homework done.  Have a nice day."

"Your manager will be..." Click, and I hung up the phone.

"Hmmm. Must of dropped the call. FU and F salesforce."  I said to myself, and I went back to reviewing pictures of weird people at Walmart on Youtube.  There would be plenty of time to review the tutorials later. 

I think that gives you all a general idea of how many sales reps might feel about having to account for every second they are on the job.  It's time consuming and invasive.  If there were a company out there with any ambition, it might want to make the use of CRM's both fun and interactive for the reps.  The job is hard enough, but having to provide evidence of where you are at every minute is a pain in the ass, especially if you're above quota! We're sales reps not criminals.

Who out there has the right amount of ambition to make this happen?