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It's a Friday night and I just received an urgent email from a customer saying they needed to change the outline of our training schedule for the company's team and he needed it done immediately. Please keep in mind the training was to take place next week and the schedule was already set. I sent an email reply stating it was Friday at 7 pm and I would forward it to him tomorrow morning. What was his response? He sent me a text and then called me...while I was out to dinner with family and friends. I didn't answer the phone. Instead I sent a text stating I would call him tomorrow. He sent one back demanding I call him. Are you friggin kidding me? We have a contract but that doesn't mean you own me dude! The reason I ventured out on my own was so I didn't have to deal with assholes like you in the corporate environment. I am a contractor not an employee! FU!
I excused myself, called him, and asked him why it was so urgent that we resolve the issue tonight. He explained he was leaving for the weekend and wanted to make the changes now. He demanded that I drop whatever I was doing and go home to make the changes immediately. I politely told him no, that he could email the changes he wanted made, and I would do it tomorrow and send the changes to him for approval. When he threatened to cancel our agreement, I told him that despite his insistence, my personal life and that of my family was more important than any agreement, and if after all the work we had done, he wanted to stop working together over this particular incident then that was fine with me. I could tell that he was trying to bully me into changing my position but I refused to give in to his demand.
He yelled into the phone, "This is total bullshit, why are we paying you if you're not available at all times."
I responded, "I never said I was available at all times, but I am available to help if the demand for time is reasonable. This situation is not reasonable. I am already out with family and friends and I will take care of this tomorrow morning first thing."
"I told you I need this now. What are you going to do about it."
"Well, I'm going to hang up the phone, go back and finish the dinner I was having with my friends and family and work on it when I get home."
"That's not good enough for me."
"Well I'm sorry but it's good enough for me. I don't believe it's unreasonable to wait 12 hours for the changes when it's 8 o'clock on Friday night and the training isn't until next week."
"I told you I need it done now because I'm leaving for the weekend. Are you going to do it?"
"No I'm not."
"Then I'll have to inform the CEO that we are not going to continue with the training."
"That's fine with me. I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll be sure to call him first thing tomorrow and let him know your decision. Have a good night."
"Wait. What? That's it. You're just go to give up?"
"No. I'm not giving up. You made the decision to stop the training not me. I'll be sure to let him know."
"It's because you're being unreasonable!", and he shouted this into the phone.
"I'm the one being unreasonable? Think about that? I'll make the changes you requested first thing and after you've calmed down you can decide if you want to continue with the training."
"Oh no, we're not going to continue. No way."
"Fine. I'll email the CEO of your decision. Thanks and have a good weekend.", I said and hung up the phone. He called me back straight away...9 times. But I didn't answer. He sent me texts while I sat, ignored them, and enjoyed a nice dinner. I finally turned the vibration off on my phone because it was getting annoying. When I finally got home, I checked my voicemail and there were a slew of messages ranging from angry to apologetic. All recorded for me to pass on to the CEO, if my professional conduct ever came in to question.
I sat there and thought about what prompted this guy to become so enraged over something so minor, and then I thought about this person's poor employees. They must feel harassed, brow beaten, and down trodden. No wonder the company needed my help! I want all of you reading this post to remember one thing, "No one owns you!" Despite all the work hours you may be putting in, or the attitude of your boss, who calls you every night, you do have the power to make your own decisions and either tell them to stop harassing you, or quit. However, don't ever feel like you must do everything they ask, or you'll be headed down a slippery slope.
Once you give in to a business bully, they will run over you time and time again. Never let people think they own your life from dusk til dawn, because then you won't have any life. No job or business relationship is worth that type of degradation or humiliation.
The next day, I received a phone call from the CEO.
"Good morning M. I got a call from Roger last night saying you were unwilling to make some changes to the schedule for him? Is that true?"
"That is true. I was unwilling to make the changes immediately because I was out to dinner with friends who flew into town and my family. I told him I would make the changes when I got home."
"That's not what he said. He said you were upset, unprofessional, and you yelled at him about being bothered on a Friday night. "
"Listen, I understand he was frustrated but I never said anything about being bothered, I simply asked him to wait til morning for me to make the changes. I explained that I was out with family and friends and I would address it right after dinner. If you want to talk about professional conduct I have 6 voicemails from Roger that you might want to hear."
"Really? Well again that's not what he told me. He felt you were unprofessional."
"That's fine. Perhaps is was just a miscommunication on my part. But if you want, I can email you the voicemails and you tell me what you think? I understand that you have to support your employees and that's important. But I can assure you that I would never conduct myself in any manner as to be offensive. And again, I apologize for the miscommunication between Roger and me."
" Well. Yeah, until I hear these emails, let's hold off on our agreement."
" That's fine. I'll send you the emails right away and we can talk after you've listened to them."
" Sounds good. Thanks."
I transferred the voicemails to my email and forwarded them to him as soon as I hung up the phone.
I got a call 30 minutes later.
"Hello M. I want to apologize for Roger. I can't believe what was said over the phone, and especially about your family and friends. It was completely unprofessional and I am grateful to you for bringing it to my attention. It seems we have a real problem here. "
"Well, yes we do. I'm sure he's a real go getter and all, but you have to consider his conduct. That's what our training is all about. Engagement... not harassment. "
" I'm just shocked. Really, really, shocked. "
" So was I. Good thing I didn't put the voicemail on speaker. My wife would have fallen out of her chair."
He chuckled a bit, "Well Roger and I are going to have a little talk on Monday. And I'll assign someone else to handle the training."
"Are you sure? "
"Yes I'm sure. Stop by Monday and we can discuss how to move forward. I have someone in mind."
" Sure thing. Thanks for the phone call. "
"No. Thank you for bringing this to my attention."
I hung up the phone, and rather than feeling elated because Roger was about to receive his comeuppance, I felt sad because here was another yet another example of a manager acting like a jerk. I've always felt it's been my mission in life, to instruct people on how to be better leaders and now I was not going to get the chance to help Roger. Life can be cruel.
Every time some one tells you that you need to go the extra mile, and that you need to work weekends, holidays, and whenever they feel you need to work, then simply tell them...
"You don't own me."
Life is more about living, not serving.
-M
