First of all this is not like one of my usual posts. There is no humor in this one, so if you're looking for a laugh, you should probably read some of my older posts. Sorry.
I started writing this post almost four weeks ago because I was appalled at what had happened to my friend in her last place of employment. Her CEO/owner and the rest of her testosterone filled management team were treating all of the women at her workplace like crap; making sexist remarks, hitting on them, and touching all of them inappropriately in the work place. She was frustrated, humiliated, and eventually was let go because they eliminated her position. How convenient...for them.
However then the shootings at UC Santa Barbara took place, and just confirmed what has been going on for a long time, but seems to be getting weird and worse. Men are getting more and more twisted in their objectification of women. Pardon my French but the whole situation is completely fucked up! A kid, basically a sick kid, Elliot Rodger goes on a rampage because he can't find a girlfriend? In addition he writes a 137 page manifesto on how he wants to put women in a concentration camp and watch them die. I thought this was insane and then I heard about what my friends bosses were saying to her, and subjecting her to, and I kept wondering if this treatment of women is ever going to stop. What the hell is wrong with people?
When you read the title of this post, many people may be shocked and offended. I was shocked and offended when I first heard about these form of harrassment from a friend who recently was laid off from a pretty well known clothing manufacturer in Southern California. In fact, this manufacturer has ties to Walmart, Hot Topic, Forever 21, Target, Old Navy, and many other major retailers. The title of this post references a "game" that the owner and vice presidents of this company would play when a new girl was hired for work, or an existing one entered their "air space". When new "talent" would come into the office they would judge the woman accordingly and place her into one of the three aforementioned categories. Now keep in mind all of the VPs are men, and the game was played behind closed doors so there are only a few people to corroborate my friend's story. However, this isn't a piece for "60 Minutes", and I don't plan on mentioning names, even though I feel inclined to, because I am so upset about how she and her co workers were treated.
Apparently, these jerks talk about all the women at the office, and in the field, and more specifically what they would do with these women if a chance ever presented itself. It's very simple really, either the woman is the type they would marry, the type they would just sleep with, and lastly the type they might kill. Which to me is morbid and bizarre, but they apparently perceived it as being funny. I have an extremely dark sense of humor but killing someone I never perceived as being humorous, however these sick bastards do! What makes matters worse is that they are running the company! And we thought the days of objectifying women in the work place were over, or at least hidden in a closet: not at this establishment. Here are just a very few examples of what she endured during her tenure:
1. Salty Balls - While attending a meeting with about 10 other people, there was a table of holiday treats laid out for the attendants.
The owner of the company, a complete meat head, offered her one and said for everyone to hear, "Would you like some balls?".
To which she replied , " I don't like those but thank you, they're too salty for my taste."
"What's the matter I thought you liked salty balls?", he said with a grin and laughed sheepishly.
" No I don't like salty balls but thank you.", was her answer and embarrassed she slunked down in her chair and tried to ignore him while most of the guys in the room laughed.
All of the other women in the room heard this and were offended, but of course all of the men thought it was hilarious. She complained to her boss after the meeting that it was demeaning but his response was of course, "Oh he was only joking." I admit this could be funny be it's also very demeaning to be spoken to like that in front of 10 of your co workers. How embarrassing it must have been for her.
2. Where Did Those Come From? - My friend is fairly voluptuous and in many cases she is embarrassed by her cleavage so she covers it up, especially in front of her Neanderthal bosses. However in some instances she must get dressed up for holiday parties or entertaining clients, and when she exposes a little skin they all make comments. She has a pretty tough skin so she could handle the jibes such as "Oh ____ is bringing the girls out for the party", or "I didn't know you had puppies".
Yet she was completely incensed when her pregnant friend who is very pretty but self conscious around all the men in the office, dressed up and became the object of the same disgusting remarks.
" Wow! Where did those come from?" , the owner said when her friend showed up for a night out during a retailers convention. Mind you the woman is pregnant! She's already hormonal and feeling body conscious and this asshole has to make a comment!
He then decided to add, "You should dress like that more often. It's hot!"
Not exactly the type of behavior I'd like to hear from my CEO. Especially one who is married and has two kids. WTF?
3. She's Out On Her Two Hour Lunch - I have worked in a corporate environment for 25 years, but I had never worked in the fashion industry. Apparently the fashion industry is not as tightly monitored as others, because they want their employees to feel free to express their ideas. Well I guess this must apply to the CEO's as well, because my friend would often hear about one particular designer who regularly would have 2 hour lunches with her company's CEO.
When my friend had a rush order she wanted to get started, she approached the design department and asked for one particular designer who was out to lunch.
"Oh she's having her weekly meeting with _______. Hopefully she'll be back in a few hours."
My friends response was, "A few hours? What are they going to do for a few hours? I need this design by the end of the day."
One of the other designers chimed in, "You know what they're doing. Don't be stupid. Why do you think she's gets to leave whenever she wants or even gets a two hour lunch?"
My friend was taken aback, and all she could respond with was, "Oh! I had no idea."
The rumor around the office was that the CEO had been having an affair with this woman for over a year now, and so she felt untouchable, even to her own boss. This in turn created resentment throughout the design office and in the company as a whole. Not exactly the foundation of a great work environment.
4. It's Just A Game - The title of this post is truly "Marry, Fuck, or Kill", but I didn't want to offend too many people. The idea that a group of Vice Presidents, at a major clothing manufacturer, could make up a game that targets the women on their staff is absolutely crazy. I can see talking about them, even judging the women by their looks, but debating whether or not they should be killed, seems crazy to me.
The type of crazy, disillusioned thinking, that perhaps pervaded Elliot Rodger's mind prior to his rampage in Isla Vista at the University of Santa Barbara. He too played games, a lot of games. He would spend hours playing World of Warcraft. He would also spend hours fantasizing about killing women or putting them in concentration camps. What's disturbing to me is that his mode of thinking is not that far removed from the thoughts of the CEO and VPs at the company my friend where my friend was employed.
When she asked one of the VPs whom she had befriended why any woman would ever fall into the category of being killed, his response was , "It's just a game."
Well it was just a game to Elliot Rodger until he turned that horrible game into a reality. Let's just hope that we can stop people from thinking this way about women before they have a chance to act.
-M
Note:
Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
