Business Lessons From The Zombie Apocalypse

Zombies are a big hit nowadays in television shows like "The Walking Dead", and of course movies, like "World War Z", but there are also a lot of lessons to be learned from the impending zombie apocalypse. Not just simple lessons like the "doubletap" and "cardio", from the movie "Zombieland", but there are real business lessons to be drawn from the theater of the damned.  If you follow these simple guidelines, you'll be able to manage today's business climate, and wade through a herd of zombies as well.

1. Trust No One - It seems that family members are always eating other family members in the zombie apocalypse and really the same can apply to business.  The worst business decision I ever made, was because I trusted a friend who then became my business partner, and it turned out to be the worst business transaction I ever conducted.  It set my financial plans back 5 years, and only because I blindly followed my friend into a deal, and then got gobbled up by a crew of "walkers" waiting for me and my money. Trust no one with your money or your career...not even your mother. 
2. Align Yourself - It seems that in the post apocalyptic world people are always aligning themselves with others just to stay alive, because there are threats everywhere.  Your business career isn't much different.  You have to be careful that you choose the "right" side, meaning the side that which will propel your career forward rather than bring it to a terrifying halt.  15 years ago I was in a position to choose sides in a conflict between two area vice presidents and unfortunately for me, I chose the "wrong" side.  My boss ended up getting let go even though he was the best manager in the nation, because he aligned himself with the losing side. However, the way it was explained to us was that after 10 years with the same company, he suddenly wasn't a "culture fit".  WTF?  I, in turn,was never given a promotion after that even though I led the region in sales. Unlike me, choose your sides wisely and hopefully you'll come out a "winner".
3. Tread Lightly - In many corporate cultures there are people waiting to feast on your flesh, just like a zombie.  They are miserable little vermin and so they choose to make other people feel the same way. They may not like you for some odd reason; maybe it's your hairstyle, the way you dress, or even your perfume,  and they in turn will seek to ruin your career.  If you come across anyone who can influence your career in some way, be sure to tread lightly around that person, because if you draw their attention due to something negative, they may seek to end your climb up the corporate ladder.  I've seen perfectly good people taken down by a person who is just jealous of their success, and so they make up lies to soil that person's reputation, and derail their career.  After all, misery loves company. 
4. Savor The Moments - When you have zombies consistently trying to kill you, it's best to enjoy each and every moment you're alive.  The same applies to the business world. You need to have balance in your life.  Let me repeat that phrase, "YOU NEED TO HAVE BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE". Regardless of what you believe, corporations do not give a damn about you or your family.  Your boss might care a little bit, but they are just trying to survive as well, so don't give your life up to a company and expect something in return, because you'll be sorely disappointed.  Enjoy time with your family and friends outside of work and don't spend every waking hour thinking about your company because I guarantee you, people in the "C Suite" aren't thinking about you.  Savor those moments and don't let your career run your life, believe me, there is no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, just an angry leprechaun with a severance package.
5. Save For The Future - In the world of zombies there are no pension plans or payments from social security.  Guess what folks, there aren't any pension plans or social security payments in your future either! Unlike generations past, all of the responsibility for your health and welfare is on you.  So just like in the zombie apocalypse you need to save for the future; both for yourself and your family.  50 years ago you could work for a company for 30 years, collect a pension, and have a lifetime of health care coverage.  Well an atom bomb was dropped on that dream in the 1980's and now we all have to fend for ourselves.  So put a little bit away everyday, every week, and every month so that you and your kids don't starve, or even worse you can't afford to pay for satellite television.

Be safe out there and don't let the "walkers" get to you.  Have a great day selling!

-M