Is Your Obsession With "Breaking Bad" Ruining Your Career?

Photo : Frank Ockenfels/AMC

Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston as Jesse Pinkman and Walter White on 'Breaking Bad'

One of my favorite television shows of all time is "Breaking Bad". Although, I didn't become a fan until the show was already into its third season, but thanks to Netflix, I was able to catch up and watch all the previous episodes in a few nights with very little sleep.  It's funny, because normally I don't like to watch television dramas but the show hooked my right away, and judging by the millions of fans the show has attracted, I'm not the only person who finds the story of Walter White fascinating. 

Yet, with the success of any television or movie franchise also comes a legion of weird obsessive fans who can't get enough of the show, its characters, the plot lines, but who also don't know where the line between reality and fantasy delineates.  They find themselves reciting lines from the show, reading books about making crystal meth, and calling people "bitch" like Jesse Pinkman.

However, not everyone is this fanatical about the show. There are many fans who love the show just for its entertainment value, but at times they will allow little snippets of the show creep into their personal life. It's at that point they need to reign in their "inner Walter", and realize the show might be effectively clouding their judgment.  You might be one of those fans, and not even know that subconsciously you are channeling Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, or even worse Gus Fring. Here are a few signs you might be watching too much "Breaking Bad", and letting the show adversely affect your career.

• You End Every Sentence With The Word "Bitch" - One of the main characters in the show is Jesse Pinkman and he seems to punctuate every other sentence with the word "bitch".  That may work for Mr. Pinkman who deals drugs and interacts with addicts, but when someone at work offers you a drink, please don't say, "Gatorade me bitch!". 
• You Decide To Shave Your Head Like Walter White - The signature look for Walter White, who by the way is going through chemo therapy, is his bald head.  In a study conducted by the Wharton School,  men with shaved heads are perceived to be more masculine and may be better leaders. However, the reason many business leaders shave their heads is because they're going bald!  And shaving your head is an especially ineffective strategy if you're a woman. No one is promoting Sinead O'Connor to a CEO anytime soon.  My suggestion, is that unless you actually are going bald, or undergoing chemo therapy, don't shave your head. It's a good look for Dr. Evil, but not you.  
• You End Every Presentation With , "Say My Name." - One of the most memorable quotes on the show is when Walt White confronts a few hardened criminals and asks them to say his name as a sign of respect.  This line works on television, but not in an office setting.  It's just grandstanding and you're not going to win anyone's respect by ending each meeting, presentation, or company picnic by asking people to say your name. They might respond by saying, "Mr./Ms. Ass Hole".
• You Advise Your Boss To "Tread Lightly" - The career path of Walter White is that he starts out as a nerdy little chemistry teacher, and becomes a bad ass drug dealer over the course of a few years.  Secretly, we all want to be able to command that type of money and power, but if you're working in a corporate environment, the same rules do not apply as they do to drug dealing.  When your boss tells you she needs a project done by the end of the month, you can't tell her "tread lightly", or she might respond with, "you're fired."
• You Respond To Every Request With, "Better Call Saul!" -  Walter White and Jesse Pinkman are business partners who rely heavily on the help of their lawyer Saul Goodman to resolve many of their problems.  Saul shows them how to hide their money, set up businesses to launder their cash, and resolves many other issues related to their drug dealing.  I'm not sure that advising people to "call Saul" when they have problems will help you advance your career.  You may find it amusing, but your coworkers will not.    

I'm sure there are many scenarios which might play out at your job, where you might think to call on Walter or Jesse to help get you through the day, or to handle a specific problem, but it's probably better for your career if you ignore the allure of "Breaking Bad", and just be yourself.

Have a great day, and a wonderful holiday!

The One Sign You Will NOT Be Rich



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This post will not be popular.  This post may not be well received. Why? Because it is not about unicorns and rainbows, and little leprechauns carrying pots of gold to your house, if you just work harder than everyone else.  This post is about reality...but if you keep on reading, this post is also about hope.

Years ago a friend of mine at UC Riverside explained to me that by looking at someone she could tell if they were going to be rich or not.  Apparently, this is a common question in the UC system because the same question was posed in Berkley as well. I thought that was probably the stupidest comment I had ever heard, but I still asked, "Pray tell me oh brilliant economist, who amongst us will be rich and who will not?"

She said, "That's such an easy question to answer.  The people whose parents are already rich. Duh!"

Well first of all,  I felt inclined to give her a friendly punch on the arm because she made fun of me, but secondly the answer did seem pretty obvious.  People with access to capital tend to pass on their wealth to their children, and regardless of whether those children work hard or not.  Wealthy children have access to more resources for earning wealth, such as education, capital, and investment advice.  Do you think the Kardashians worked harder than anyone else to become rich?  Absolutely not, but they did take advantage of opportunities available to them to create even more wealth. 

One of the most recent books which mentions the subject of wealth and inheritance is, "Capital in the Twenty First Century", by Thomas Piketty.  A link to his book online can be found here .  Piketty's book will no doubt be debated by economists, however his conclusions regarding the accumulation of capital by the wealthy and inheritance are very interesting:

"Whenever the rate of return on capital is significantly and durably higher than the growth rate of the economy, it is all but inevitable that inheritance (of fortunes accumulated in the past) predominates over saving (wealth accumulated in the present).... Wealth originating in the past automatically grows more rapidly, even without labor, than wealth stemming from work, which can be saved. Almost inevitably, this tends to give lasting, disproportionate importance to inequalities created in the past, and therefore to inheritance."

I read this and immediately thought, "I need an economic translator". Yet after dusting off my old economic thinking cap, I came to one pretty simple assumption.

One sign that you will NOT be rich, is that you were not born rich.

Yes you can work harder than everyone else, and hope that this will reverse the trend, and you can master a craft and work harder at perfecting it then all the other master craftsman in your market.  But your still fighting against a trend.  To further add insult to injury, in a study done by the Pew Charitable trust in 2013, if you are born into a lower income household, you have a 4% chance of becoming a high income earner.  Just 4 percent! WTF?

As I mentioned before, many of you will not like this post, because the American Dream is for you to be rich.  Not well off, but rich.  However many of you will never be rich...NEVER.  So in light of the increasing economic evidence working against you, should you just give up on your dream?  HECK NO!

"So you're telling me there's a chance!" - Lloyd Christmas

Despite the changing economic landscape and the trend towards the consolidation of wealth, there is a chance, albeit a small one, that you can be rich.  The evidence is somewhat overwhelming, but it doesn't mean you should just give up.  However, it does mean you're going to have to overcome a lot if you want to be rich.  But isn't that really what the American Dream is all about?

Consider all of the dirt poor people who did make it out of poverty to become rich.  People like Howard Schulz, Larry Ellison, Oprah Winfrey, and Harold Simmons.  All these billionaires started out in more humble beginnings than most of us, but they became extremely rich.  For god's sake, Larry Ellison owns an island!  And not just any island, but a tropical island.  How many people do you know who live on their own tropical island but aren't named Gilligan?  It may be improbable for many to become rich, but it's not impossible.

There is not just one sign preventing many of you from becoming rich, there are many.  And despite the best efforts of CEO's to encourage you to work harder than anyone else to become rich, which incidentally helps them become even more rich.  You should focus on working hard for yourself, not anyone else, and ignoring all those signs. 

If you run the red lights of life, you're likely to get where you're going a lot faster than anyone else.

But please be sure not to run over everyone...Have a great day!

What Are You Prepared To Do?

We all have a time in our lives when we come to a crossroads and we must choose between doing the right thing, the ethical thing, or doing something a bit less ethical which might get us in trouble, but also might boost our career.  Many of us choose the latter path, because we feel it's easier, and we believe it's the quickest way to get ahead.  I am not a saint.  Far from it, but occasionally I do surprise myself.

A long time ago, back when I was working in finance.  Well, not necessarily finance, but mainly legalized loan sharking.  I had my first experience with a boss who asked me to do something I deemed unethical, but he saw as exceptional. The company I worked for offered sub prime loans, mainly B and C paper, even to people who could qualify for better interest rates and loans.  It was my first job after college and I was having trouble selling loans with interest rates of 30%.  Yes, you are reading that correctly 30%! That seems like an easy sale right?  I mean who wouldn't want to sign 5 years of their life away for a modest interest rate of 30%?  In addition, we were offering real estate loans of 15%.  What a deal! 

Naturally, I was having difficulty not only selling the loans because of the excessive interest rates, but also I didn't feel comfortable screwing people just to earn a commission.  In my heart I knew it was wrong, once people signed those loan documents, they might find themselves in a worse financial position then before they signed them.  However, armed with a degree in economics this was what I thought was the world of finance.  WRONG!  Back then I had a conscience, so when I approached my boss about how we could feel good about selling loans with such a high Annual Percentage Rate, he cut me off straight away.

"You took this job to make money right?", he said.

"Right.  But I didn't think I'd be selling loans with such a high APR."

"We're not a bank. We're a financial institution, so we can charge whatever rate we want on a personal loan."

" I know that, but when people come in to sign the papers they always ask what the APR is, and I never feel comfortable telling them.  Especially when they see it on the loan docs.  The last loan I sold was at 30.11%.  That's a bit excessive isn't it?"

" Listen, it's not your job to judge what's excessive.  You're a kid for Christ's sake.  If they balk at the APR put your thumb over it when they go to sign.   All they care about is whether they can afford the payments."

"Do what?"

" Put your thumb over the interest rate.  I do it all the time.  People need money and we're here to give it to them.  Who are we to judge what's fair.  Put your thumb over it and they sign every time."

" Are you serious?  Isn't that a bit shady?"

" Does it matter how you hold the docs?  If your thumb happens to be over the interest rate, so be it.  That's not your fault.", he said and he smiled, like a Cheshire cat.  It was a bit creepy and somewhat evil.  I just looked at him in disbelief.  I'm sure he could see the cogs turning in my head.

" Look.  We hired you to make loans.  So that's what you need to do.  Corporate and I don't care how you make the loans, just make them, and you'll do well.  Start questioning what we do here and you'll be gone.  I know it's tough, it was tough for me in the beginning too, but you get used to it.  Plus you'll make a lot of money! Just try it next time you have someone come in for a loan.  Put your thumb over the APR and I guarantee they won't say anything about the interest rate."

"I don't feel comfortable doing that. Can I just try signing my loans without doing that?"

" Suit yourself, but you want to make money?"

" Yes."

" So you have to ask yourself.  What are you prepared to do?"

" What do you mean?"

" If you want to make money in business, in any business, you have to decide what are you prepared to do.  This isn't college anymore. Life's not black and white, we deal in a lot of gray areas.  And me, I'll do anything to get ahead.  I got 3 kids at home and a wife who doesn't work, so me...I'll do whatever it takes.  What about you?'

I was shocked, "What? Wait. What do you mean? I don't understand. "

"What are you prepared to do to get ahead in this world?  Anything?  Putting your thumb over an interest rate is not being shady, it's being smart.  I hired you because I thought you were smart. Well are you?"

" Yes. I thinks so?", I said, still in a daze and now concerned about whether I made the right career choice.

" Well then if you're smart.  You'll put your thumb over the interest rate and shut the f#$k up.  If they sign,they sign. It's on them.  Got it."
" Yes sir. ", I answered like a good soldier.

" Good.  Now go sell some loans.", he said and slapped me on the back. I shuffled back to my desk in a daze.

Right then, I knew this was not the business for me, yet on went on selling loans at 30% for another year.  I did everything I could to overcome the APR objection, focusing on other aspects of the loan which would help reduce interest payments.  I focused on no pre-payment penalties, and shorter terms.  I encouraged people to use their tax returns to pay off the loans early.

And not once did I put my thumb over the interest rate on the loan documents.  I wasn't prepared to do that. 

How about you?  What are you prepared to do?

The One Thing Your Boss Doesn't Want To Hear...

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You've got a lousy boss? So what!  Join the club.  There are millions of people in this world and many of them work for a terrible boss.  At one point in your career you will work for an a__hole.  You may even be the a__hole, but you don't know it...yet.  Even though your boss may be a jerk, there is probably two words he or she never wants to hear from you, "I QUIT".

Managers, especially incompetent managers, rely on good employees to get things done.  In fact, they depend on their employees so much that their career would be over if everyone left to pursue a different career path.  The cost of hiring, training, and then having to "reprogram" a new employee is painful to them.  But you can't let them control your life! 

If you're a tortured employee, and I do mean tortured.  Awful managers do not realize the psychological effects of their mismanagement on employees.  I had one fellow employee tell me she would rather kill herself then go back to work, after her boss embarrassed her in the middle of a staff meeting.  It may sound extreme, but these things can and do happen DAILY.

So what do you do if you're tortured?  Simple.  You polish up your resume. You make up excuses to leave work, like doctors appointments, family issues, and you go to interviews.  Lots of interviews and you learn that the grass can be greener, especially when your boss isn't crapping on it.  And once you've found a suitable new job, with a great new boss, you can come in and tell your current boss the two words they don't want to hear. "I QUIT!".  But if you don't feel comfortable saying those words, or you're worried about burning bridges, you can say the same thing in a few different ways:

• Say "I Quit" In A Different Language - Chances are your manager is already an idiot so he or she won't understand what you're saying anyway.  Subsequently you should say it in a different language. Or maybe even say it in French/German/Mandarin, and use sign language as well. It might be embarrassing for them, but it will be totally amusing to you!
• Say, "I'm Participating In A Study on Workplace Harassment" - What I wouldn't give to see the look on your boss's face, when you say you're leaving for a paid position and that you are going to be studied for 6-12 months for psychological trauma.  When he/she asks, "You're not going to sue us are you."  Just respond, "What's the frequency Kenneth?"
• Say, "I Have Been Recruited By the Government" - Then say nothing until her or she speaks, because you know they are going to have lots of questions.  And your response for each question would be..."Sorry that's classified information.  And if you share this with anyone I can't be sure what will happen to you."
• Say, "I'm Going To Be A Winemaker" - Since this seems to be the thing everyone does when they decide to leave the corporate world.  It will seem a natural transition, especially if you live in California.  Then tell him that you were so impressed working with him that you're going to name your first one after him... "Muet Merlot". They'll never figure it out.
• Say, "I Created A Sitcom Based On My Experiences Here" - This again works if you live in California, but they film sitcoms almost anywhere nowadays.  Thank her for giving you the inspiration to document everything, and that her management style was what gave you the impetus to create.  Then say nothing the rest of the interview except, "Sinbad will be starring in it and Rosie O'Donnell. I like Sinbad."  For every follow up question your response should be with the question, "Do you like Sinbad?"

For all you tortured souls out there, you see there is some hope. 

Have a great day!

  

When Good Employees Turn Into Zombies

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In his book, "Delivering Happiness, A Path To Profits, Passion and Purpose", Tony Hsieh, current CEO of Zappos, describes a typical work day at his first programming job at Oracle.

"All I had to do was run a couple of tests every day. It took about five minutes to set up a test, and then about three hours for the automated test to run, during which time I would just be sitting around and waiting for the test to finish. So I could only run two or three tests a day at the most.  I also realized that nobody was tracking what time I came in or left the office.  In fact, I don't think anyone really even knew who I was."

Not exactly the type of career he had envisioned straight out of Harvard, and unfortunately for many people in today's workplace, they are having exactly the same experience.  Why do you think there are so many start ups? People are tired of being turned into corporate zombies.

In a society, where individualism and creativity are encouraged when we're young, they are discouraged as we are assimilated into the work force.  That's right assimilated.  Employees young and old, are discouraged from "making waves", and so in order to keep their jobs secure and their careers on an upward path, they turn into corporate zombies, and most of them don't even know it.

Here are 4 tips to discourage your employees from "turning" into zombies...or worse leaving:

Create A Positive Environment - I hear this phrase used a lot.  And I mean A LOT!

"Oh I try to create a positive environment for my employees to work in.", said the manager who meanwhile was revising the office compensation plan to meet his budget, and at the expense of his employees' pay. 

A positive work environment does not mean offering perks like rides, and free food, and free haircuts.  All of those things are great and you can have all that stuff, but if your employees feel they can't approach you with a concern or problem then you haven't created a positive work environment.  Free pizza and freedom of speech are not the same thing.

Affect Their Lives...In A Good Way- I think the best management advice I ever received came from my dad, who was never a manager. 

He said, "Do you give a damn about what happens to your employees?  Cause if you don't, they won't give a damn about you either."

It's important that you have a positive affect on your employees lives and their careers, otherwise they won't work with you.  If you're selfish and only interested in your career they will quickly turn on you and start acting out either against you or the team.  It's important for managers to take an active interest in the development and the lives of their employees in order to ensure their own success.  That doesn't mean you become a therapist, but it does mean you become a mentor.
  
Rewards and Recognition- When I mention rewards and recognition this doesn't apply to birthday cake celebrations or anniversary recognition, those things are all great.  I'm talking about expressing authentic gratitude for your employee's efforts.

For 9 years I worked for a company and I received stock options, and raises, and promotions, and I never once heard the VP say "thank you".  Not once.  I was told he was "old school", and I guess by that, they meant he was not inclined to say anything nice to his employees. Well old school is out and the New School is in, and in order for employees to stay active and motivated, management needs to say "thank you" every once in a while.

In addition, I remember the same VP once saying to a counterpart, "I thank you by letting you keep your job."  Shortly afterwards my counterpart disengaged from all meetings, didn't speak to the VP ,except to say "hello sir and goodbye sir", and left the company taking all his great ideas to a competitor. 

I would say he definitely "turned", and before he left, he infected everyone else.

Engagement: I don't mean you need to marry your employees, that would be silly, but you do need to keep them engaged.  Too often, once a person is trained, managers just let them handle their assigned job duties and never encourage creativity or thinking "outside the fence".  In fact, some jobs discourage feedback or creativity.

I once witnessed a female employee offer a great idea for a solution to a service problem, only to have the general manager scold her for speaking out of turn during a staff meeting. She went from a bright and bubbly new employee to a wandering office zombie pretty quickly.


If you follow just a few simple steps you can keep your employees happy, involved, and part of the human race.  You just need to show them that you CARE. 

If you don't CARE then the zombie hordes will overtake your team, and possibly your career as well.

Good luck!




 

Elevator Pitch My Ass!

Since I was a junior sales associate I have heard the term "Elevator Pitch" used to describe how to get your point across in 30 seconds to a few minutes.  I researched the history of the term and it was originally credited to the editors of Vanity Fair back in the 1990's, and when I refer to the word research that I means I looked it up on Wikipedia. But who cares where it came from anyway!  It's a dated phrase and needs to be changed. How many sales people do you know who have made a pitch in an elevator?  Do you want to know how many I know in my 15 years in sales?  ZERO! 

Who the hell has time to make a pitch in an elevator?  You have time to gain interest in an elevator, you have time to garner attention in an elevator, and some people even have time to have intimate relations in an elevator, but pitching someone in an elevator really doesn't happen.  If you live in a major city, the chances of you sharing a ride in an elevator with a potential prospect are extremely rare unless you're stalking that prospective customer and then that's just plain disturbing.  STALKING is not being persistent, it's being weird and creepy and obsessive.  It works for some people...like serial killers. Yet, in today's business climate it's best to keep things professional and not pathological.

However, there are moments when you may run into a potential client or customer and you need to think quickly about what you would say and exactly how you would present yourself.  It might sound slightly weird but you have to deliver in those precious moments if you want to make a sale.
We've all had awkward moments when trying to make a sale, meeting new contacts, or just during our daily routine.  A few years ago, I had one of those awkward moments with a potential customer who I had been trying to set up a second meeting with for a very long time.

I'd just got a new puppy from the Humane Society, and was walking the dog early in the morning when I passed this business where I had been trying to meet with the owner for weeks. Appropriately, my puppy decided to relieve herself on the ice plant in front of the building and I was not prepared for her to poop that morning. Normally she just runs or walks and then waits until we get home to relieve herself. I panicked and searched for something to pick up the poop and found an empty bag of Cheetos on the ground. I was able to scoop a different kind of "Cheeto" into the bag. We started walking along again, and who happens to show up right around the corner? The owner of the company! Oh lucky me to meet him with a bag full of crap in my hand! Obviously he was an early riser and on his way to work. The puppy was wagging her tail and being friendly and he looked at me and then the dog and said,

"What an adorable puppy. How old is it?", he asked and then he bent down to pet the dog.

At this point I was in shock, and I couldn't think because I'd been trying to meet with this guy for almost two months and now I'm standing in front of him, holding a bag of Cheetos with a nasty surprise inside. So inadvertently I just blurted out, "Uh four months I think? She's a pound puppy."

"Really? She's cute for a pound puppy.", he said, and began stroking the dog's head. The puppy was wagging her tail frantically and really excited to be making a new friend.

At first I'm thinking, "WTF! He thinks puppies from the pound aren't cute? How rude!" And so I thought to myself, "I hope she gets real excited and pees on his expensive shoes". But then I came back to reality and realized I had an opportunity to get an appointment, or better yet a sale,  if I played this right, and I didn't drop the Cheetos bag on his shoes.

"Yeah, I guess I got lucky. I was the first in line on the waiting list.", I responded.

"Well she's really very cute. Hi puppy, hi puppy.", he said as he kept petting the dog, who was wagging her tail so hard her whole butt moved back and forth with each tail wag.

As he stroked the dog's fur, I said, "She's really playful so be careful she doesn't scratch you."

" I'll be fine don't worry about me.  She's so cute I just might steal her from you.", he said and then laughed.

In my head, I said, "I will smush this bag of Cheetos in your face if you try that buddy.", but what came out was, "Oh no you don't, now that I've finally got her trained.".  We both laughed, and I held the bag awkwardly at bay.

He kept calmly stroking the dog and so I figured I would take a shot at gaining some more interest in my services:

"Mr. Gonzalez, I don't know if you remember me, but I spoke to you a couple of months ago about a service my company offers that can help improve your sales team's efficiency dramatically. In some cases, 40%. Do you remember meeting with me?"

" I do, but I'm sorry I haven't had time to get back to you. Been really busy.", he said and kept petting the dog who started to lick his face.

My first thought was to offer him a Cheeto because "I've been busy too you ass!", but I held the bag and my mouth closed. I just looked at him and smiled, then bent down and began to pet my dog along with him.

"Good girl." I said. " Look, I know you're busy sir and you don't wanna talk shop this early, so I won't waste your time. But I really think we can help your company, so give it some thought and let me know if you'd like to meet again."

"I'll do that. You know what, here's my direct line.  Call me, I'd like to talk" he said, then he stood up and handed me his card.  "Call my cell, that's the easiest way to get a hold of me." 

"Wow! Thanks", I responded, sounding a little too enthusiastic.

"Okay, I gotta go. Bye pup.", he said and stooped to give the dog a pat on the head. "That's a cute dog. You run her around here everyday?"

"Yeah lately I have. She likes to run.", I answered.

He looked at the bag of Cheetos in my other hand and look perplexed, " You always eat Cheetos for breakfast?"

I was about to tell him it was a bag full of poop, but decided maybe that wasn't the best answer.

"Not always. Just today!", I said and smiled. "Take care."

"You too.", he said, "Don't forget to call me okay, and remind me you're the guy with the dog. I forget a lot in my old age".  And then he smiled.

"Okay...sure. Thanks again. See you later.", I said and ran off with my dog.

It may not have been the best "Elevator Pitch", but that was the best bag of Cheetos I've ever had. I'm only glad he didn't ask for one. 

Maybe we should start calling it the "Cheetos Pitch" and not the "Elevator Pitch". 

Have a great day!

"How Do You Get Hired?"-Interview Tips From A Call Girl

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I read a post on LinkedIn two days ago, which covered why people get hired, and it had well over 200,000 views.  I thought to myself,

"Okay this must be a very good post, with some great content, otherwise people wouldn't read it. Right?". WRONG!

Then I looked at the picture associated with the post, which was seductive, and I looked at a picture of the woman who authored the post and then I thought, "She kind of looks like a hooker or a high priced call girl. Men are such pigs!"

And then I had an epiphany, "I can do that too!"

Well, I can't actually be a call girl, I don't have the skill set, but living in Los Angeles I do know people, who know people, who know people...you get the point.  A few well placed texts and phone calls and I had a former call girl on the phone for an "interview"?  She was now a therapist which totally blew my mind, but I guess the professions are similar?  She kept reminding me she wasn't cheap and she didn't have sex with just anyone, but that she needed money when she first got to Los Angeles, and this profession helped to supplement her income. 

As I was speaking to her, I had all kinds of crazy thoughts running through my head, like "Couldn't she recycle cans or something or work at Starbucks for extra money?" But I wasn't going to judge so I asked her one simple question:

"How did you get hired?"

She gave me a whole litany of things that she did to get hired.  How she dressed, where she went, her conversations, etc.  Below is a simple list and advice that applies not only to her but really everybody.  Judge if you must, but these tips are pretty good.  Enjoy!

Use A Recruiter - You can't get a job if you don't have someone promoting your skills.  In her case it was a madam, but in your case it's a recruiter.  When people tell me they can't find a job my first question is, "Do you have a recruiter?".  If you don't have one, then find one, because they are invaluable to your job search and there is one out there for you.  She told me she would have never done this if she didn't have someone setting up her "interviews".

Plan For Your Interview - She advised me that before she even went to meet a person, she solicited feedback from her "recruiter" on what they person was looking for because she wanted to be sure she was hired.  Which was odd to me because I thought call girls were always "hired".  She said that being turned down was very rare, but she advised me that "people with a lot of money are discreet and if they get a bad feeling about you, the interview is over, and you don't get the job."
Sound familiar?

Dress Appropriately - This was some of her best advice, citing that if you're calling on businessmen with a lot of money, they don't want to be seen with someone who looks like a hooker.  So be well dressed and classy, and absolutely no spray tan.  "It makes you look fake and cheap". Often these type of men just want to be seen with someone who looks good and conducts themselves well.  If you're going to an interview don't dress like your spending a night on the town in Vegas, or you just came from a strip club.  Dress professional.

Be Prepared - Again, great advice, and again I was amazed by her response.  She really put a lot of thought into meeting her clients, and perhaps this is why she charged so much.  She recommended that you plan well ahead to make sure that the interview goes well and doesn't take a bad turn.  Also research your client or company and get some feedback from people on how it is working with them.  For her it meant calling other girls in the business, or her recruiter, and for you it's the same.  Contact employees, check on job boards, message boards, or anything that will give you feedback on the company or hiring manager.  Recruiters again, will do all this for you.

Relax; Be Yourself - She admitted that this is the hardest thing to do, because no matter how well prepared you are, if a client senses you're nervous and jumbling your words, then you're not going to be hired.  How appropriate, because this applies to job interviews as well.  If you don't relax then the person interviewing you can't relax, and the entire process can go badly.  You can lose your train of thought, answer questions incorrectly or not at all, and then not be hired.  Try to relax and like the movie "Frozen", just let it flow.

Make Eye Contact - I'm not certain about other cultures, but in the United States, eye contact is key in an interview.  She mentioned that the eyes are one of the most seductive parts of the body and that in order to be hired you must have good eye contact with your client.  If you are nervous and looking away, or staring off in a corner, this might turn a client off or make them fidgety.  It's no different in the business world where if you can't maintain good eye contact, you may not get the job. 

Tell Me About Yourself - The thing about being a call girl is they can make up anything they want about their history and none of it has to be true.  In fact this woman needed to create a false history to protect her identity but also to create a fantasy for the client. As an interview candidate you also must create a fantasy and identity for the job interviewer.  You want to be their ideal candidate, the one they want above all the rest, so you need to weave a good story about yourself and why you're the best person for the job.  You can do all this with the truth, as long as you share a compelling story.

Close For The Job - This was something she rarely had to do, but on occasion she would "push the clock", and remind clients that time was wasting and they might need to get the evening started.  She only did this if they were at a bar and the client was wasting her time and his, which I thought was a bit amusing.  I guess it's a business like any other, and keep in mind that she did have to close on occasion but if you're interviewing for a job you should always close for either a job offer or the next step in the process.  Often times the interviewer is waiting for you to do just that: be certain to close.

Follow Up - Okay she never sent any "Thank You" emails, flowers, or cards to her clients but she would follow up with her "recruiter" or madam to get some feedback on if they enjoyed her company.  I don't recommend that you send emails or cards asking if the hiring manager enjoyed your company, but do make sure to send a thank you card or email and share something you remembered from the interview.  This will seem more personal, and be sure to ask again for the position.


As I mentioned previously,  it was absolutely remarkable to hear how similar her experience was to what potential candidates go through during the interview process. I certainly hope these tips will help you in your efforts to be hired, and I found it absolutely fascinating that a person working the world's "oldest profession",  could offer sound advice to some of the newest members of the work force.  Good luck!

-M

11 Things Your Boss Should Want To Hear From You

The idea for this post came from an idiot....I mean an idiot besides myself.  Last week I read an article that listed things an employee should never say to their boss.  I was confused because as a boss, I encourage feedback from employees, both positive and negative.

I suppose all my posts are the direct result of me reading an article or book written by a so called expert, and then thinking:

"Is he/she serious?"

"Have they ever worked in a corporate environment? "

"Are they suffering from some sort of disease which affects their cognitive functions?"

But then I realized that the person who wrote the article worked in the entertainment industry, where there is a BIG DIFFERENCE from the corporate environment.  And that was why the article worked.   In the entertainment industry employees are sometimes terribly abused because there are thousands of people lining up behind them to take their job. And being open with your boss, in that type of work environment can get you fired almost immediately.  However for the rest of us whom work in a completely different world, have to abide by weird things like...oh I don't know, labor laws.   

There are good and bad bosses everywhere, even in entertainment, and at times there are things that your boss doesn't want to hear, but that you should tell her/him just to keep from being over worked or worse yet, brow beaten and abused.  Bosses need to learn their limits, just like employees,and I've listed below 25 things your boss should want to hear from you:

"No"-  I had a friend once advise me that saying "no" to your boss was tantamount to treason, and that it could get you fired immediately.  Well if your boss ask you for sex, are you going to say "no"?  Or are you going to say "Well it might be difficult for me to fit in sex today, but possibly tomorrow.  Is that okay?"  This is an extreme example, but if your boss asks you to work late and miss your first baby's ultrasound, than tell him "no".  Otherwise, he might expect you to work though your pregnancy, take an hour off to give birth, and then get back to work.  It's okay to say "no" especially when you're setting a precedent on the parameters of your working relationship.

"I don't know "- I say this all the time, not only to current customers, but to CEO's and CFO's.  Why?  Because I'm not going to lie and act like I know something when I don't.  I always follow it up with, "But if I can find an answer to that question/concern/issue, I will."   We don't know everything so why would profess too be all knowing?  I cannot profess to know everything, and a boss should never expect their employees to know everything.  Subsequently,  your boss should expect you at times to say, "I don't know."  Besides, if you were all knowing, then why would you be working for someone else anyway?  I'd take that all that knowledge and go to Vegas, or create an app that turns lead into gold.

I'll try - Oh this phrase used to infuriate me as a manager, because it sounds like an excuse for failure.  As if someone is setting you up to be let down, but in fact now I welcome it because it really is the employee telling you they lack the confidence to make a solid commitment.  Now, be careful here because if you ask them to start being on time for work, or to stop touching other employees inappropriately and they say, "I'll try", then you got some serious problems and a call to HR is appropriate.   However, if you ask them if they think they can get a presentation done by tomorrow and they say "I'll try"  this opens up the discussion as to why they may or may not be able to get it done.  Feedback here is good.

"How does this help me?"- Managers don't like to hear this uttered because it seems selfish, but it's the truth.  When managers talk about employees being team players there can be limits to being part of a team.  For example, if a sales person ventures into your territory and signs an account you were working on and your manager wants to give them credit, and not you. My first question would be, "WTF is he doing in my territory?", and my second question would be, "Is there a way for me to punch this other sales rep without being fired?", and my final question to my boss would be, "How does this help me?" If you are ever

"I did my best" - Once again this seems like an excuse for an employee not  to achieve a goal, but a manager should want to hear this because it opens up the room for discussion as to whether or not the employee's best effort is really enough to get the job done.  If it isn't then the manager needs to refocus on helping that employee achieve their goals so it helps both the employee feel better about themselves and the team.  Once again, do not tell your boss "I will do my best" if it comes to something basic like making time for a conference call, a meeting, or showing up for work.  That's pretty lame...

"Sorry, except...".- I have used this term and heard this term many times from partners and fellow employees.  It's usually followed by a reason why they haven't accomplished a task, and the except pertains to why they weren't able to accomplish this task.  I have used this as positive feedback to determine if an employee is overburdened with work and unable to do their job in a reasonable period of time.  Your boss should welcome this turn of phrase because again he/she is receiving feedback on why something didn't get done, an error the employee made which allows for training, or an opportunity to fire an employee who is a risk to keep employed.  Like one that says, "Sorry I burned down the plant, except you gave me a bad performance review."  No one wants to keep that type of employee.

"That's not my job..."-If you are forced to do something that is not in your job description, and is adding to your workload, you'd better tell your boss that it's not your job.  I have seen employees take on additional work that is not part of their job and then receive a poor performance review because they weren't will to say "that's not my job". This is especially true for employees who are extremely efficient.  Bosses will keep adding to their workload because they can rely on them, until they give them so much work that they can't be successful.  By the way, if you're not working as a personal assistant and your boss asks you to pick up his dry cleaning for him, you should tell him, "that's not my job", and it would be perfectly appropriate.  Personally, I would say something a little saltier like "____ off", but that's me.

I'm going to quit - First of all, your relationship with your boss should really never get to this point.  However if you have tried every mode of communication and they're still not hearing you, or trying to oblige with your requests, then it's perfectly fine to threaten to quit.  I had an employee who would threaten to quit every other month, but I knew that he was just trying to draw my attention to inefficient procedures in our processing plant.  It worked, because we fixed them, and he stopped making threats.  Now, did he have to go that extreme in order to get my attention, apparently he used this tactic in the past and it worked.  I used his veiled threats as a training lesson and just explained to him that it wasn't necessary to bring all the drama to the work place.  "Just tell me why your upset and let's work it out. "

"I assumed that..."- We are told never to assume because it makes ass out of you and me.  Well, if you make an assumption and you're wrong than that's not good, but it's not the end of the world.  If you're boss does not understand this than he's not very bright.  People are going to make assumptions, and mistakes. That's the "Facts Of Life", and I don't mean the old television show that appears in syndication.  It is human nature to make an assumption so your boss should not fault you for it.  Keep in mind if you make an assumption and you're right then he'll applaud you for it. 

"At (your old company), we would did it this way" - If your boss is so preoccupied with promoting the company culture that he/she can't listen to feedback about a competitor, that person is blind to any other way of doing things.  If someone ever comes to me with a more efficient way of doing something than I will reward that person, even if the idea came from a competitor.  As a boss, it is important to keep an open mind and an open door all the times.  Otherwise, you don't see the bigger picture.  However, this does not mean you should keep saying, "It was better at my old company" because then even your fellow employee will urge you to return, if it was so great.

It's not my fault...It was (insert random name here)- No one likes a person who points fingers at other employees.  Nobody likes a "rat". However, if you're about to lose your job because of someone else's mistake, I would be pointing 8 fingers at that person.  If I have a great employee, who is incorrectly blamed for a problem, I would want them to tell me who made the mistake.  It's not like you're Henry Hill and this is the movie "Good Fellas".  Yes, no one likes a "rat", but you have to stand up for yourself if no one else is going to do it for you.  If it's not your fault, then you need to say so, and this applies to employees only not managers.   The worst thing a manager can do is blame his subordinates.  Well, then he's not really a manager, he's just a jerk.

The employer and employee relationship are tantamount to the success of a business.  If your boss can't listen to feedback in a constructive way then he's not a good boss.  Please keep in mind it's all in the way you approach him, and how effectively you communicate your ideas.  Employees and employers must always keep an open mind and an open heart. 

Have a great day!

5 Reasons You Were "Let Go"

I've always hated the professional term "let go", which basically is a mild term for getting fired. It's sounds as if when a person is let go, the company is letting a bird out of a cage.  Can you imagine if Donald Trump said, "you're let go"?  First of all it would be confusing to the person, who would wonder where they were going, and secondly it wouldn't have the same emotional effect on the viewing audience as "you're fired!"  Why do companies make it sound like they're letting a zoo animal loose in the wild?

"You've been trapped so long in this dead end job that we are going to set you free! Run free! Run and be free!"

But that's really not what happens when you're let go, in fact the company never really lets you go because the stigma of being laid off or fired stays with you the rest of your life.  Not for a few weeks, but for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.  You think about it day and night and why it happened.  What did you do wrong or what did they do wrong?  Or "why did those bastards just let me go?" The term "let go" is just something people created to soften the blow but in reality it's a lie management tells themselves so they can sleep better at night. As a manager you never let someone go, you fire them.

However if you ever are let go, there are always alternatives but for some reason management doesn't see the need to pursue them, and that's pretty LAME.  If you were let go recently here are 5 very poor reasons why:

"We're restructuring our work force"- I could never figure this one out, especially when it happened to me years ago.  My manager was seriously upset that she had to fire me, but all I cared about was if I was getting any severance.  The conversation went something like this:

"I can't believe I have to do this.  I've never let someone go over something other than performance issues.  I'm so sorry.", she looked like she was about to cry.

"Well I know it's not performance because I'm at 144% to quota for the last 3 months and trending towards President's Club.", I said a little proud and a little bitter.  

"I know that's what makes this so hard.  We had to eliminate your territory, and we got rid of 10 reps across the country.  I'm so sorry."

"Well, you can't be too sorry, otherwise you wouldn't be letting me go. Hey at least they're not getting rid of Regional Managers.", I said, and then added, "Yet." and I started to laugh.

"How can you joke at a time like this.  I feel terrible.", she said again and I truly believe she was sad.

"What choice do I have?  I have to deal with it somehow. Besides, I'm a good rep.  I can find another job easily, and all I care about is if I get a severance package.  Do I get a severance package?"

"Yep 3 months.  What are you going to do?"

" I don't know this has never happened to me before.  Go find another job I guess.  Don't worry I'll be fine.  I've always wanted a 3 month vacation.", I said and smiled so she would feel better.

"I'll be sure to right you a letter of recommendation.  Since you are leading the region right now in sales it's the least I can do."

At this point what I should have said is, "The least you can do is fire the under performing reps and keep me!", but instead what I said was, "Thanks.  I appreciate it, and don't worry I'll be fine."  What a wimp! And what a terrible excuse for letting me go.  I found out later she fired me because she knew I was the strongest rep and would survive the lay off.  Uh...golly gee, thanks for the endorsement?

We Need To Cut Costs - I always find this reason for firing someone slightly amusing because if corporations really wanted to cut costs, and I mean CONSIDERABLY, shareholders should start demanding that CEO's and managers take substantial pay cuts.  It seems that they always cut the work force rather than their expense accounts or executive pay.  Once I was asked to fire 3 employees with over 30 years experience combined because "we needed to cut costs".  The conversation went something like this:

My new GM asked me, "We're behind on our profit numbers who can we cut to make that last 2%?"

"Are you serious?  You want to fire someone just so you can make a number?"

"Yes I want you to fire someone.  We can always hire them back in few months.  It's just a production partner anyway.  I can train anybody to do that job."

"Oh okay, so first of all, that's insulting to all our production partners and how does that makes it alright to sack someone?  Who do you suggest I fire?"

"Yolanda.  She's a pain in the butt and she makes the most money.  I think we should fire her and the other two supervisors.  We can make our numbers in last quarter if we do that."

"Yolanda!  My best employee and one of the best employees we have.  And the other two leads! The whole production team will fall apart. Sorry the answer is NO."

"You can't say NO to me! You're such a friggin cowboy you know that! If I don't make that number I may be out of a job, and you might be out of a job. Is that what you want?"

"No I don't want anyone to lose their job, including you.  I will restructure the work schedule to make up the 2% but I'm not firing anyone, and if we don't hit our number than fire my ass if you want to fire anyone.  I'm not a 40 year old production partner with 4 mouths to feed."

"I'm gonna hold you to that number cowboy.  You better come through.", he said with slight twang in his voice as he pointed his finger at me.  I just laughed, even thought inside my stomach was turning.

"I'll hit it.", as I said this, I wondered what to tell my wife I just said to my boss when I got home.  Uggh!

Needless to say I did hit the number, and there was no need to fire anyone.  If they tell you that you were let go because they are cutting costs, that could be total bulls**t.  If they want to really save money, executives should fire themselves, or take a pay cut.   

"Your Position Was Eliminated" - Okay, I just had a friend who was let go because they "eliminated" her position.  What the company did was move her position and change the title so a personal friend of the CEO's sister could be hired.  She was doing an outstanding job, but the CEO wanted his little friend to work with his sister, so they eliminated her position...politics.  

The same thing happened to a 15 year veteran and dear friend in the laundry business.  He was the consummate partner and the company decided after 15 years and LEADING THE COUNTRY IN GROWTH AND PROFIT, that they didn't need him anymore.  His branch was too small to need a manager so they eliminated his position, and didn't even offer him a different one.  You mean to tell me, they couldn't find a position for a guy who basically bled the company colors. WTF?

Eliminating your position means essentially your company is eliminating you.  If they really wanted to keep you on board, they would find another position for you.  Sad but true.

We're Downsizing - I have many friends who have been laid off for exactly this reason.  In fact,  a friend who worked for a division of Johnson and Johnson described her experience of being let go right in the middle of a regional meeting. 

She was sitting in the meeting with a bunch of other reps when an HR person for the company came in and grabbed her, and told her to pick up her things.  How embarrassing first of all, and secondly, they couldn't wait until the meeting was over to let her go?!!!  She was made to feel like she did something wrong, which she didn't, and it made her look bad in front of her peers.  She said she would never get over the emotional scars it left on her, and it would take years for them "heal". 

Lay offs like this occur in medical sales all the time, but it's because healthcare companies often over saturate a market with reps, especially when they're promoting a new device or a drug, and when they don't meet projections, they start firing reps.   Unfortunately it's common place in healthcare sales, but it doesn't need to be, if the product is marketed correctly and forecasting is done right.  I know that Blitzkrieg marketing works but at the expense of people's jobs and their lives?  Branding can be done in other ways rather than throwing money and sale reps at the issue.

If companies really want to avoid downsizing they should not over extend themselves....but that will never happen. 

We're Outsourcing Your Department Overseas - I heard from a friend they were eliminating her department at her company and outsourcing it to somewhere in Asia.  I thought to myself, that's just another way to cut costs, but not necessarily improve efficiency or customer retention. It's a tiny bandage on a large wound.  I think that corporations see cheap labor as an easy alternative to help cut costs and so they take the easy route.  But what do they do when wages in that new country increase? Outsource the jobs to another, cheaper country?  They need to look internally at their own corporate overhead.  CEO's spend more time focusing on cheap labor rather than expensive corporate overhead, especially in America where CEO's are paid on average more any other country in the world.  There are disputes over how much more, but the United States still has the best paid executives worldwide.   If executives wanted to save money and reduce redundancies than might want to consider lowering executive compensation across the board in order to keep US citizens employed.  It's good for the economy and it's good for business...but not good for executives, and so that will never happen.

If you are ever laid off there are a few things you need to remember that I will cover in a companion post to this one:

1. It's not your fault
2. It's not your fault
3. It's not your fault

Now these are just a few reasons why you were "let go", but there are many more, and sometimes the people in charge really have no choice.  The company might be losing money and jobs need to be cut in order to keep the business afloat.  However, as a former corporate employee and corporate manager,  I only urge that people in the "C" suite look at all the alternatives before making the decision to lay people off.   Remember that 40 million families are living paycheck to paycheck...now sleep on that.

-M

7 Reasons Why You Might Want To Hire The Food Truck Guy

Copyright: jewhyte / 123RF Stock Photo

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...namely Pico Rivera.  I ran into probably the greatest food truck guy I ever met in my life, and I mean EVER!  Forget all those fancy food trucks touting gourmet food, this was long before that craze.  It was back when there were no gourmet trucks, just food trucks that would visit your business at breaks and lunch and serve food.  It wasn't exactly gourmet and I'm not sure it was even edible, but we didn't buy the food because it was good, we bought it because of the guy selling it: Roy.

 

And who was Roy?  Roy was the guy running the food truck with two cooks, and he was really the face of his company.  He was phenomenal, and he made it a point to remember every one's name, what food they liked, how it was cooked, where they lived, how many kids they had, and perhaps even their blood type.  Please keep in mind over 250 people worked at this place. The guy was very sociable, incredibly nice, and just one of the best people I had ever met.  So when one of my fellow Service Managers came to me and asked me to interview Roy for a service position, I thought I at least owed him an interview since he knew I liked my hamburger with Swiss cheese and not the cheap stuff. And that I liked it medium well, not medium rare.  

 

I asked the Service Manager, "Does he know he needs to wear a suit?"

 

He responded, "He will now.", and so the interview was set.

 

Back then I was a real hard ass dealing with people in interviews, and when I interviewed a candidate, it seemed like I was trying to find a way to turn them down, rather than hire them.  I was very quiet, and didn't share much to see if I would make them nervous, or better yet, I could get them to open up and tell me more about themselves, so that I could judge them inappropriately and then reject them.  I was a jerk.  However this was the process I was taught in interviews, to weed out people, and let only "the strong survive".  I was such an arrogant idiot! 

 

Roy came into the interview dressed very well, better than me in fact, and he sat calmly in his chair and answered every question I had for him regarding sales, service, employee relations, and especially teamwork.  The interview changed his life, but it also changed mine as well.  I grilled him, no pun intended, for almost two hours and it seemed every answer he had was perfect.  It was frustrating at first, because of course I was trying to dismiss him as a candidate, but then I started to realize that this person sitting in front of me was the type of employee I had wanted to work with my entire career. 

 

Listed below are the reasons I hired him and the same reasons as a manager you should consider people who don't necessarily have the credentials for the position, but have the character to be successful and help you in the process.  Listed below are the qualities I found in Roy, but that you might find in any person, and allow you to fill ANY POSITION.

 

Punctuality - One thing you can be sure of when hiring a food truck person is that you can be assured they will be punctual.  In fact, they'll probably be ten minutes early for every meeting, appointment, or event.  These people run on a set schedule because they have to and if they're ever late, they don't make any money.  If the job requirement if for someone who can set your watch to, then this is a great person for the job. I think Roy was a sun dial in a previous life because he could tell me what time it was just by looking at the sky.  At times, it was a bit disturbing.

 

Entrepreneurial - People who run a food truck or maybe multiple trucks are "hustlers".  They are looking for ways to make money because that's how they pay themselves.  Not all of them own the truck they're operating so the more money they make for the company, the more money them make for themselves.  Moreover, the food truck industry is a very competitive market so they're always trying to differentiate themselves from the competition.  They think of various ways to separate themselves from other trucks by offering different varieties of foods, doing special events, or sponsoring  charitable events.  They'll do anything to gain an edge and they will bring that same enthusiasm to their new job.

 

Great Work Ethic - I did not even have an open position for Roy, but I hired him anyway.  I took a lot of grief for making this decision, but it turned out to be the right one.  He was absolutely the hardest working person I had ever met.  He worked long hours without overtime, just to make sure the job was done perfectly, and that his customers all appreciated our company.  He would go out of his way to work on weekends just make sure he felt comfortable with all his existing customer relationships, and it finally got to a point where I told him, "Hey ET!  Don't phone home, just go home!"

 

Dedication - To stand out from other food trucks you have to offer either great food or great service.  Roy had pretty good food but he offered incredible customer service.  If you liked something on your burger, taco, burrito, or even fries he would get it.  No matter how stupid it might seem, he would go out of his way to make sure the customer was happy.  He applied the same great service when I hired him.  I remember him asking me if he could come in on a Sunday to get some temporary garments for a customer who needed them on Monday morning.  He advised he would press them and have them ready and I didn't need to do anything, he would handle it.  He did and that dedication transferred to his treatment of me.  He was extremely loyal. So loyal, that when I left the company he felt almost betrayed.  I advised him that it's not the company that makes him great, he's the one that makes the company great.  It was the truth.

 

Honesty - Apparently, in speaking with Roy not all operators of food trucks were very honest.  Many of them would "skim" money off the top, by charging some customers more for food than others and keeping the profit for themselves.  I do remember that prices weren't often listed so it depended on the truck operator to determine pricing.  With other operators I remembered the pricing could vary by item by day. However Roy was honest to a fault and always honored whatever pricing was listed or communicated.  He never changed the pricing and if he did he always advised the customer of the change. There were no surprises.  Which is how you want all your employees to conduct themselves.  Right?

 

They Care - When you're hiring an employee you want them to truly care about themselves, their families, their jobs, and their customers.  You don't want someone who doesn't give a damn about anything.  You want them motivated and invested in their future and the company as well.  I can remember Roy coming to me and asking if he could take flowers to a customer who's grandmother had died.  I told him that was very thoughtful and I'm sure she would appreciate the sentiment.  He said, "When someone is in pain, they sometimes need to be reminded that there is good in the world." Now, I'm a cold heartless bastard but Roy had me tearing up that day.  Hire someone who cares about people.

 

Self Motivated - These people want to win! You don't have to push them to be successful.  They'll probably be the ones pushing you to achieve more. They won't be happy with an entry level position either, which is just the type of employee you want to work with in any environment.  I remember having an issue with a new hire, so I decided to make Roy a trainer and after 3 weeks with the new employee he came to me with some sound advice.

"This guy's not gonna make it.  I have to call him every morning to come in because while I'm loading the truck, he's still in bed. I like him but he's not motivated.  Great guy but if I have to call him to come in and work, then pretty soon you're going to have to call him to come in and work. You don't want that.  I don't think he fits with the team. "

Only 6 months into the job and already Roy was looking out for me and the team.  And it didn't stop there.  After a year, Roy asked what it took to be a manager, I told him a college degree was a prerequisite, so he went out and earned one.  He was self motivated and wanted to succeed and we helped enable him to be successful.   He went on to have a long and promising career and is currently a Regional Trainer with a pretty large organization.  He always felt the need to achieve.


So if you're a manager and you're looking through a stack of resumes, don't discount the candidates who don't look so great on paper.  You might find that one in a million employee that you just can't pass up.  I know I did, and it changed the way I looked at hiring people from that point forward.
Remember, you can't find a needle in a haystack if you're not even looking. 

Have a great day selling!

 

 

 

20 Different Ways To Say "You're Fired"

Being fired is not pleasant, in fact it is completely demoralizing. I've been fired on 2 occasions and those experiences have been imbedded in my brain. However, managers in an effort to try and soften the blow have come up with so many different ways to say, "You're fired", that it's often times confusing to the employee. I'm certain they word it a certain way to make themselves feel better, but it's still the same...you're out of a job.

Here are 20 different ways to say "you're fired". Some are subtle and some are downright cruel:

We're Letting You Go - My personal favorite because where the hell is the employee going at this point? The answer is nowhere except to the unemployment line. "Hey boss you wanna come with me?" Unfortunately I'm not sure there's a better term to use, but if you're a manager and you're creative, you'll think of one.

We're Going To Allow You To Pursue Other Career Opportunities - When I heard someone got fired this way, I almost laughed. But that would have been rude to the person who just got fired, just like it's rude to try and "candy coat" the fact that you're out of a job. "Thanks boss for thinking of me! I'll be sure to send you a card from prison, because I'm going to have to rob a liquor store just to pay the rent."

We're Going To End Our Relationship At This Time - As a manager, I've used this one before and it's so vague. The employee thinks that you're breaking up with them. I used it once and never again, because it just confuses people. They're thinking, "I didn't know we had a relationship?" Plus they're expecting a farewell dinner, candy, or lunch as well.

We Think You'd Be Our Best Asset, If You Worked For Our Competition - Oh yes, this one is positively absurd, but one that a vindictive manager once said to his employee. When the employee questioned him, he added, "You're fired." This one isn't even mildly subtle. It's rude, and it could get you fired if you're a manager. Don't be mean even if the employee is an a**hole.

We Feel You'd Be A Better Fit At A Different Company - Another funny one because the employee is wondering, "Which Company? Do you have any recommendations? Am I being traded? Is this the NFL?" It's a weird way of saying "LEAVE NOW PLEASE".

We're Eliminating Your Position - Recently a friend went through this and it turned out to be a political move on the CEO's part. It wasn't that they were eliminating the position, they were just changing the title and eliminating her. Ouch! Personally, I hope she sues the company.

We're Downsizing - Unfortunately this happened a lot during the recent recession, and I feel sorry for all the people who were fired. In this instance it wasn't their fault, and maybe the executives who are doing the downsizing should consider a pay cut instead of having to cut the workforce...but that'll never happen.

Dude! You Suck At This Job! - You may laugh, but at my first job, that's exactly what my manager said to me. Now he was a kid and I was a kid, but he was still a manager. He was in the process of firing me, when his boss came in and they moved me to a different department where I did great. Lucky for him and me because later he worked for me.

We're Cutting Costs - I never understood this reason for firing people, because if you can't manage other costs besides labor, then maybe you shouldn't be a manager. Personally, a lot of people are unemployed because their company couldn't manager the other costs besides labor. If shareholders want to cut costs, they should cut executive pay, and make it more performance based. All bets are off here in a recession because a that point, everyone is suffering.

This Isn't Working Out - Again, this sounds like another dating break up. But this is one I've used many times because it's the truth, and at this point even the employee knows it's not working out. Don't belabor the fact, just cut right to the chase and let them know they've been terminated.

You Slept With Your Employee So...- I remember being in a room, when this went down one time and it was very awkward. Apparently, the manager was sleeping with his rep, and it was consensual but the other reps heard about it and BAM. He was fired.

We Feel You'd Be Happier Some Place Else - I always get a chuckle from this one. It sounds like the company just has your best interests at heart. They are looking out for your happiness. Heck, maybe they'll even have Deepak Chopra stop by your house...after you've signed all your termination papers. "Hey thanks guys for the encouragement!"

You Stole From Us So...- I can't remember how many times I had to terminate an employee over this issue. Seemingly great people, who some how thought they would never be caught stealing. I had one guy deny stealing and was screaming in the office, when we showed him a surveillance video, and then he was as quiet as a church mouse.

You're Just Not Catching On - I don't know if this one is confusing to you, but it is to me. "What am I not catching on to? Could you be more specific?" I have been in a room where someone said this and the person just looked befuddled. She asked, "Catching on? Catching on to what?" It's hard to word it differently but maybe you should just stick to the facts like, "You're not meeting the standards set for this position." There's a good chance the employee already knows that fact, so there will be no surprises.

We Feel This Job Isn't Right For You - I'm not so sure I would use this one if I ever had to terminate someone again, because it gives them the opportunity to ask, "Well which job here would be right for me?" It's better to be honest because if you did have a job that was right for them you would have offered it already. Correct? Just tell them that it's over.

We're Going To Part Ways - This makes it sound like you are two weary travelers on the road to Canterbury and you've come to a fork in the road, and you're letting them take the one less traveled by. Not cool, just tell them the position is not for them, and end it.

You Don't Fit Our Culture - I was surprised when I heard this one time from a VP at a very prominent company. I understand that culture is important, but you can't fire somebody just because they aren't a culture fit. What culture anyway? Are we Bushmen of The Kalahari Desert? It's best to stick with the facts and not insult the person, even if they aren't a culture fit.

We've Decided To Make A Change - I have heard this used A LOT. I still don't know what it means, and it's very non specific. I believe it's just a lead in to the actual termination, but if you hear this phrase from your boss, then you know what's coming next, and it's not good.

We're Restructuring Our Work Force - I was on the short end of this stick years ago, and it wasn't fun. I didn't understand what they meant by restructuring, but it meant getting rid of me. Which didn't make sense because as a rep, I was number 1 in the region for the last 3 months. I thought, "Couldn't we restructure the work force with me in it?" It turned out to be all about geography and coverage and so I was out.

Security! - If you've ever been in this situation, it is not pretty. Many employees don't like the fact they are being fired. Imagine that! They aren't happy when they've been terminated, and so the manager screams out "Security!", much like Bon Qui Qui from the famous MAD tv skit. As a manager, as an employee, don't ever let your working relationship get to this point, because it's not worth it.

Simply put, there really is no easy way to tell anyone "you're fired". As an employee who hears those words, the best thing for you to do is learn from the experience, TRY NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY, and find a job that's right for you. As a manager, you should do every thing you can to avoid having to fire someone, but if you have to, make sure it's not a surprise to the employee, and they leave with their dignity in tact.

Here's to hoping you never have to hear, or say the words, "you're fired!"...unless you're Donald Trump.

What Kind Of Coach Are You? 5 NFL Coaches: 5 Distinct Management Styles

Now that it is football season, all the men in America will be glued to their TV sets every Sunday for no less than 7 hours.  Some will get up to scratch their butts, replenish their chips, or get another beer during a commercial, while others will spend most of the day tracking their fantasy football team and rooting for each player they "own".  Helping to urge their players on and to win football games for their team will be each NFL coach.  There has been a great deal of turnover in the NFL coaching ranks over the past few years, but there are a few NFL coaches who have been very successful and as a result they've stayed with their teams a long time.  Here is a look at 5 of these coaches and what management style they might employ while working the sidelines.  Keep in mind they all use a little bit of each style in order to get the most out of their players.  If you're a manager, in any profession, you might want to follow suit.

• Jay Gruden- If you refer to my post about management styles Jay would fit into the category of the "Newbie".  He is new to the head coaching ranks having spent a lot of time at as an assistant coach and offensive coordinator most recently for the Cincinnati Bengals and Marvin Lewis.  Jay like most managers is not new to the game but being a head football coach is a lot different than being an assistant, and he has a lot to learn.  As a newbie he will be trying out all the schemes and theories he developed as an assistant, seeing if they work for his team, and there will be a lot of ups and downs his first season.  His theories and ideas will meet with cynicism from the veterans and with enthusiasm from the rookies, but he must stick to his vision.   Just like a new manager, Jay is not going to win a lot of games in his first year, but if he's successful he'll establish good working relationships with his key players,  and his team will be more successful this year than they were last year.  It's important as a newbie that he gets the support of his employees or rather players, in order for him to have long term success.  As you know without the support of your people, a coach or manager may be good, but never great.  Good luck to Jay, the Newbie!
• Tom Coughlin- In his first few years as head coach of the NY Giants, Tom Coughlin's management style could be characterized as an absolute Nazi.  He ruled with an iron fist and if his players got even the slightest bit out of line, he punished them pretty severely.  He's an older coach so I'm certain this worked for him for a long time, especially since he was so successful in Jacksonville previously. However, times change and so do employees/players attitudes.  With his military type style he was definitely a winner, and he pushed his players hard to be their best.  Her earned the nickname "Colonel Coughlin" often fining players for being 2 minutes early to meetings when his expectations were that they be 5 minutes early.  WTF? When he fined Michael Strahan for being early but not early enough, that's when his tenure as a Nazi manager ended.  The players no longer supported this type of management style and their was dissension on the team. Coughlin needed to ease up a bit and stop shouting and start caring about his players.  He soften his stance a bit, and it worked!  With the support and respect of his players he won 2 Super Bowls and both of them against one of the greatest teams in history, the New England Patriots and Tom Brady.  Even a Nazi can change his ways.
• Pete Carroll - Is it just me, or do any of you feel that it would be a great experience to work with Pete Carroll? I know there are a lot of people that don't like him, or his style, but he just seems like such a positive guy!  He is always the center of attention wherever he goes, and on a team filled with stars like Russell Wilson, Marshawn Lynch, and Richard Sherman, that's a pretty impressive statement.   He is what many people call an Expressive or a Peacock manager.   It's pretty much all about him...., and he knows it, and he loves it.  He effuses confidence in both himself and his players, which translates into confidence on the field.  Pete is very influential will both his players and the media and he can SELL.   He sells you on how great he is everyday, how great his team is, and how hard they work.  His employees/players do their absolute best to please him and themselves, and it creates a team unity of "us against the world".  Even if many people view this as arrogant, his expressive style of management seems to be working.  He's won 2 NCAA College Football Championships and a Super Bowl.  Like it or not, this management style can work, as long as a manager has the supporting cast and crew to pull it off.  Obviously Pete Carroll has every one's "buy-in" and support.   
• Bill Belichick - I watch Bill Belichick as he patrols the sidelines for the New England Patriots and I think, "how the hell did this guy get to be a coach?".  He's grumpy, irritable, and seems like he hates his job and he hates his players.  He wears an ugly hoodie to work, looks like he's been up day and night reviewing film, and he probably has a process for everything his players do, including going to the bathroom. He is the consummate Micro Manager and it seems like his players and the rest of the employees would hate working with him.  So why has he been so successful?  Why he has he won 3 Super Bowls, and lost 2 Super Bowls in heart breaking fashion?  Because Bill Belichick is not a consummate Micro Manager, he has learn to delegate, and he has learned to trust.   When he was in Cleveland, like all new coaches/managers, he tried to control everything and he performed poorly, compiling a 36-44 record in 5 seasons.  Yet when he arrived in New England, he had learned from his experience in Cleveland, that he could delegate control of player personnel to Scott Pioli, and in turn he could focus on his getting his team ready to play football. Moreover, he taught his assistant coaches his systems and allowed them to do their jobs.  Therefore despite his best intentions to manage and control every situation, Belichick evolved, delegated, and became a better coach as a result.
• Mike Tomlin - I just realized that Mike Tomlin is only 42 years old.  That's pretty young for a coach that has won one Super Bowl and lost another one.  In addition, he's only been a head coach for 7 years, and never had a losing season. Why has he been so successful?  Many would argue that he inherited a great team from Bill Cowher and just built upon that legacy.  However, taking over a great team and leading them to a Super Bowl victory is not an easy task, and Tomlin accomplished this in only his second year as a head coach.  What has made him successful is his ability to listen to his players, develop a plan for the team, and help them execute their plan successfully.  During his tenure, he has supported his players, even in the face of controversy, and they have rewarded him with great play on the field.  He is a Mentor manager, who assesses the situation, gets feedback from his employees/players and makes his decision based upon their feedback.  Moreover, he gets everyone in the organization involved and Tomlin takes an active interest in players and coaches personal development and not just their professional one.  Hopefully in the future he'll learn to not get too involved in the games, like last year when he interfered with a kick returner racing down the sidelines.  There's a difference between being "in to the game", and actually in the game.  Tomlin needs to continue to Mentor his players and let them play the game.   Hopefully his approach will continue to keep him and his team successful. 

These coaches and their distinct styles have all made them a success, with the exception of Jay Gruden who is a new coach.  However, they also developed as managers and took their teams and themselves to the pinnacle of success, by adapting and changing their style to suit the different variations of their teams.  They didn't stick to one overriding style of management, but instead they evolved. Managers must adapt to employees the same way coaches adapt to players, in order for everyone to be successful.  So, what type of coach are you?

Have a great day!

-M