The Grinch Who Stole Vacation Time...

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Two days ago,  I got a call from a friend who just wanted to wish me a happy holiday, and to catch up on how my family and his family were fairing.  I told him I was enjoying my time off and asked how he was enjoying his annual trip to visit his parents and siblings.  Every year, he would make a trip back to the Northeast to stay for a week and visit with his elderly parents.  However he advised me that his company told him no one was permitted time off this holiday season unless the President of Sales signed off on request.  He submitted a request for vacation time but was denied. I was appalled.

"Are you below quota or something?"

"Nope I'm at 110%."

"Are you in trouble?  Did you receive a poor performance review?"

"Nope.  I was above expectations.  In fact, I got a raise!"

"What's with the humbug?  Is Scrooge running your company?"

"Could be?  No. Unfortunately, we have a new President of Sales.  We nicknamed him 'The Grinch' "

"Well are you out of vacation time or something?"

"And again the answer is no, I save time every year for this trip.  Apparently now it's frowned upon to enjoy your holiday. I don't know what this guy was thinking, but I'm going to start looking for another job."

"What the hell is wrong with this dude?  That's sends a lousy message to the field.  It's not like you're delivering packages or something. You're not servicing customers are you? That doesn't make any sense."

"I know, I know.  No one is happy about it.  Believe me.  I think half the field is now looking for another job."

"Really? Or are you just exaggerating?"

"No, I'm not making this up.  Two regional managers have left already."

"No kidding. Well apparently that President is giving himself a lump of coal this holiday season."

"Oh no!  He made it clear that 'only the strong will survive', and that he's going to 'weed out the wimps, so that we'll have a sales organization we can be proud to be a part of.' "

"I guess that doesn't include people like you?"

"Nope, I've only been to Presidents Club 5 times out of the last 8 years."

"Well if you were really good it would have been 8 or 8!", I said and laughed.

"Piss off! Why don't you hire me?"

"You don't like what I do.  I seem to remember you saying it was as much fun as watching grass grow?"

"Good point, but anything beats working for a Grinch."

"Ya know what?  I may not hire you, but I'll certainly help you find a company that'll appreciate you."

"Let's do it."

"I feel like my heart just grew ten times today!"

"I doubt it, but let's hope the Grinch will learn his lesson."

"I doubt it.  Some people are just born jerks."

"You sound like you have experience in that area.", and this time he laughed, pretty loudly.

"Thank you for the holiday sentiment."

"Happy holidays! Gotta go, the Grinch is calling me."

 

"Seriously?  It's 6 O'clock on Christmas Eve?"

"I told you he's a mean one...Mr Grinch. Call me in the New Year!", he said and hung up the phone.

Let's hope that many of you are enjoying some valuable time off with friends and family and The Grinch didn't steal your vacation time...

Have a joyous holiday season!

SFTD 

Don't Promote Unqualified Managers Or Under Achievers

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I was just listening in on a conference call of sales best practises, and I listened to all the speakers and was very impressed.  Yet I thought to myself, "where are all these people speaking ranked in relation to their peers?"  When I looked at the numbers I was stupefied!  Most of them were not only below quota but not even close to achieving their goal.  I had to question the management's decision to have them speak on the conference call since they really had no credibility with their numbers.

It reminded me of the days when I was a rep or manager and I would be listening to someone speak, but then I would find out later they had no numbers to support their sales or management strategies.  In my opinion, they lost all credibility.  You have to "walk the walk, not just talk the talk." Which made me think of all the times I saw someone get promoted who had no business being a manager.  In the military there is a saying "f#$k up, move up." Well this can also pertain to business as well.
However, the worse thing you can do is promote an under achiever and here's why:

1. Employee Morale - If you're an idealistic newbie who just started with the company, and you see people being promoted who are terrible at their jobs, it is completely demoralizing.  Here you are, a  new employee to the company and busting your ass, but someone else who isn't doing as well gets promoted.  The first thing you say to yourself is "what the heck is going on around here?" The second thing you think is "I need to dig in or I need to get out of this place." Promoting an underachiever demoralizes hard working and competent employees.

2. Turnover - As a general manager, senior manager, you might be wondering how promoting someone who is an under achiever will increase turnover.  It's actually a pretty simple formula.

M + M = T

Management + Mediocrity = Turnover 

I can remember years ago, when the company I was working with at the time, promoted a mediocre manager to a general manager, and he went through 12 mid level managers in one year!  Not two managers...TWELVE! It continued until eventually he was fired.  Pretty pathetic that he was promoted and again not based upon his past performance but on his relationship with the VP.  A lot of good partners were lost in the process of a year, and the business took another 2 years to recover.

3. Branding - Initially,  you may wonder how does branding figure into promoting the wrong person?  However, the best way to build a brand is to hire the right people and promote them.  Why do people want to work at Apple, Google, and Facebook?  Not just because they're dominating the tech industry but because they are good places to work, with career paths clearly outlined. They have established cultures which help make and keep them successful.  The quickest way for a company of that size to fail, is by promoting unqualified or poor performers.  They would instantly lose credibility and their brand would suffer.  Uber is a pretty good example of how promoting people who aren't ready or underachievers can hurt your brand.  How much has that company benefited from promoting people who weren't ready to be managers? I'd say not at all, since they just lost about $20 billion in market cap.

4. Messaging - What type of message are you sending if you promote a person who is not on the top of every one's list of over achievers?  You're basically saying it's okay to not perform because you can still become the "cream of the crap".  People who are successful want to see their career path as something obvious.  Yes it's ideal to think that way but when you're young and just starting out, it's easy to see things in black and white.  And guess what?  That's how things should be.  Not caught up in this murky world of gray where an obvious "kiss ass", but non performer, gets promoted.  We should all step up like Spike Lee and "Do The Right Thing".  Which if you haven't guessed means promoted the performers.

5. Future Growth and Profits -  Years ago when I worked at company C, they promoted a young man who hadn't yet proven himself as a performer to the position of branch manager.  He'd had a decent tenure as a Service Manager, a passable tenure as an Office Manager, and a decent time as a Sales Rep.  He was a good guy, and well liked by all, especially his general manager, but he wasn't ready to assume this leadership role.  Everyone in the region knew it, except for his boss and the Vice President.  So naturally, they ignored every one's advice and promoted him.  The branch he was promoted to oversee had made growth and profit numbers for 2 straight years. (Rule 35)  After he took over, they didn't make a profit for the next two years and he was demoted.  Not only was it bad for him especially to be put in that position, but the company also suffered because they lost profit for the following two years.  Sometimes it's best to wait and promote the "right" person rather than promote someone who isn't performing or really isn't ready to assume a weighty leadership role. The sad thing was that it ruined his career and others as well.

I have not always made the right decisions as a manager, or as a person.  I'm not perfect, but I can tell you that I never promoted someone who didn't have the numbers or the performance to support my decision.  First of all, I would have felt like an idiot and secondly it just wasn't fair to anyone else on my team.  To take an under achiever and move them up the career ladder would have been sacrilege.  That's not to say all of my decisions were correct, but at least I felt comfortable with them. I hope you can all feel the same way, and this post helps point you in a better direction...if not just ignore it as the insane ramblings of an idiot.  Either way, I'm glad you read it!

SFTD

Drop The "Corporate Speak"

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Today, I spoke to a regional manager for over an hour and I still don't know where he stands as far as his messaging or what he's like as a person.  For sixty minutes I heard nothing but corporate speak.

"I'm really a player's coach"
"I get the best out of my people and they get the best out of me."
"I'm really just here to help better support my team."
"I just want to know what I can do to better help support everyone."
"I don't want to just talk for an hour, I want people to be engaged."
"I don't micro manage but I do hold people accountable for their activity."
"It's not about me. It's about my people."
"I understand that people need to balance work with family but it's work that supports our family."
"I want small wins to lead us to great victories."
"Passion fuels life and work."

After one hour, I finally just had to say to him,  "Can we just talk? I don't want to hear any more corporate speak.  Let's just cut through the corporate colloquialisms.  Talk to me straight.  All these phrases are well and good but I want to know who you are and what you want. "

"I want what's best for my team."

"Really?  What does that mean?  In simple terms, and don't use a phrase from a successories poster."

I heard him pause for a moment. "I want them to be successful."

"You've said that at least 5 times in the last hour.  Why do you want them to be successful?"

"So that I'll be successful?", he seemed to be searching for another corporate phrase.  "Isn't that what it's all about?"

"Well yes and no.  But now we're getting somewhere.  Why do you want to be successful."

"Because success is the measure of a man!"

"Really?  This is not a pep rally dude.  We're just talking about training and what you and your team need to be successful. But really why do you want to be successful?  On a personal level, not on a corporate level. Tell me personally what is motivating you."

"My wife is pregnant.  It's our third kid and I really want to be help continue to support my family. I want the best for them."

"Bingo! Hey there's a real person on the line.  Thank you. That's how you need to relate to your team.  On a personal and professional level.  Talk to them...like a person."

"It's hard for me to open up, I don't like to get to close with people in case I need to fire them."

"Okay, that I understand.  I've been there, but if you're always using corporate phrases they won't know who you are.  Plus that gets old really fast. It's important they know who you are.  You want to inspire them personally and professionally.  I'm not saying tell them your deepest darkest secrets but just try to relate.  Talk to them like you would anyone else outside of work. "

"You mean share stuff.  Like personal stuff?"

"Yes like personal stuff.  How old are your kids?"

"Meghan is four and Jeff is eight."

"How hard was that?"

"Not too hard. But again, I don't want to share too much because if I fire them I'll feel bad."

"Let's just focus on how you're going to inspire them not how you're going to fire them."

"You're starting to sound like me."

"Dammit!"

I heard him chuckled a bit on the other line, "Gotcha!"

I laughed too and then responded, "Just remember you're dealing with people and they want to be lead by a person not a corporate robot, so talk to them without all the cliches and I think you'll garner a lot more engagement and respect."

"Work smarter not harder!"

"Oh for crying out loud!", I shouted and he just laughed.

" I got it.  Drop the corporate speak.  Good advice."

" Thank you. Thank you."

SFTD

Role Playing...It's Not Just For Kids

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I have a friend who is headed for a Plan Of Action meeting in Dallas this month, and she's all stressed out because there is a role play involved.  Keep in mind, her company has over 300 sales reps and all of them will be required to do a role play to assess their skill level at selling the company's products. The role plays will be graded by managers on a point system and once a rep has passed the role play scenario, she/he will then go through a "competitor gauntlet" to further assess their knowledge of the company's competition.  Sounds like fun doesn't it?!  For who? The reps? HELL NO!

I have been in sales for a long time now, and personally I have always felt that a role play was a terrible way to judge the ability of a rep. Why?  Because reps are more nervous about being judged than they are in front of a customer. Inevitably, they almost always make a mistake, but not because they aren't knowledgeable, but more than likely because they are so nervous.  A role play is more like a talent show audition than a real life scenario.  Don't believe me?  Just ask 100 employees if they enjoy role plays.  The answer you will receive 9 times out of 10 is "no!" and some people will even answer with an emphatic "hell no!". Yes there will be that one rep who say "yes", that same person did summer stock in high school and is in the cast of the local theater company's version of "Of Mice And Men".  Those people are natural actors, and good at role playing because they understand what it takes to "fake it".  However, not all effective sales reps are actors...in fact most are not.

Teachers and educators have all stated that role playing can be an effective tool for training in schools.  However it must be conducted in an environment that is free from judgment or criticism. And in the classroom it is used as a tool to empathize with people or characters. Well, that's not the world of business.  We are judged every day by our peers and our bosses, but mostly by our bosses. Moreover, many managers show little or no empathy towards their employees.  Let me share a role play I was asked to do a long time ago when I was a rep.  It was conducted in front of an entire ballroom of people at our annual sales conference.  The audience included the CEO, COO, CFO, and board members along with the entire national sales force.  No pressure right? They drew names out of a hat and guess who was the unlucky winner?  Me.  Here's how the role play went:

President of Sales:  "Why don't you tell me about this new product you guys have?"

Me: "We have a new product?  I wasn't aware of a new product?"

President of Sales:  "Well if you weren't you might be looking for a new job."

Me: "You mean ______?"

President of Sales: "Uh...yes.  What can you tell me about it and how it might help my patients?"

Me:  "I know it's manufactured by vampires." 

At this point many of the reps in the ballroom laughed, but the president of sales was not smiling.

President of Sales: "Really? Vampires? I believe you're beginning to skate on thin ice young man."

Me:  "Of course I'm joking we don't have any vampires working for us. We have elves. Little medical elves." 

Again laughter and louder this time, but not even a grimace came from the president of sales.

Me: "It is a great product that can improve healing rates by almost 43% over conventional therapies.  We have two randomized controlled trials currently published in _______.  In both of the RCT's patients benefited greatly from using ________. Can you think of any patients who might benefit from this type of therapy?"

President of Sales: "That's better.  As a matter of fact I can.  What else can you tell me?"

Me:  "Each trial was conducted with over 100 patients and the results were pretty conclusive.  I can get you a copy of the published RCT's and maybe we can try the therapy on a few of your patients. That is if you're interested.  How does that sound?"

President of Sales : "Sounds like you get to keep your job buddy."

And then he finally smiled and shook my hand.  All the other sales reps watching started clapping as soon as I had finished, but some of the managers weren't smiling.  Why?  Because I changed the role play and added some humor.  Yet this was how I always presented to doctors or nurses.  I infused humor into my talk track and they liked it. However some corporate people don't like to laugh...unless they're drunk.  I was told by all my peers the role play was great and by all my superiors that it was awful. 

After that stressful incident,  the only role playing I wanted to do was as a Storm Trooper at Comic Con...well not really.  So the rest of the night, I partied like it was my last day on the job. I was concerned that my lack of seriousness may have put me in the unemployment line.   Yet as the night wore on and the drinks kept coming, our VP of sales, who had a little too much red wine, came up to me and put his arm around me.

"How ya feeling?", he said and leaned on me a little, almost tipping his glass of wine on me.

"Not as good as you are! My role play kind of sucked."

"Nah it was good.  You covered the important stuff.  That's all that matters."

"Ya think so?  Bob said he didn't think I was taking it seriously."

"You seemed pretty calm.  I would have been sweating bullets. I hate doing those f#$king role plays."

"What?  Then why are we doing them?"

"Beats me. The trainers think they're good practice."

"Really? What do you think?"

"I think if I say any more about it, I'm gonna get myself in trouble.  I also think you need another drink.", he said and waved for the bartender who came over.

"Two shots for me and my buddy here.  Milagro. Por favor."

"Thanks.  And after the shot you tell me what you really think about how I did."

"Listen, you just put up numbers and screw the role play thing alright? You'll be fine.", he said and slapped me on the back.  We downed the shots and then he smiled at me.

"You worry too much.  Relax do your best and f#$k the role play....oh wait you already did that!", he said rather loudly, then he laughed hard, and stumbled off into the night.

I knew there was something I always liked about that guy...but then again maybe it was the Milagro talking.

Have a great day and avoid the role plays!

SFTD

Some Times You Just Gotta Say "F#$k It!"

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As I've mentioned in previous posts, I always did well working in the corporate environment.  However, some leaders see you as a threat if you're doing very well.  In fact, they will take measures to bring down your career, in order to spurn their own career forward.  At that point, you have to decide whether it's worth it to keep working for this person or whether you should leave.  Certain people feel threatened and the only way for them to feel comfortable is to get rid of the threat.

I had a boss who to my face would tell me what a great job I was doing, but then secretly he was plotting with the head of HR to have me fired.  And really for no reason other than professional jealousy.  However, he would never tell me himself.  On the contrary he would advise me not to worry about the head of HR, and that he would speak to her. He would tell me that he thought she was too OCD and for some reason she was obsessed with me.  Then he would have her write me up for misconduct.  Would you like to know what type of misconduct? Harassment?  Embezzlement? Berating my employees? Nope.

I was late to 2 interviews with sales candidates.  How late? 15 minutes each time.  I phoned ahead and told the candidates I would be late.  I was on time for 50 other interviews, but this didn't seem to matter to the head of HR.  She documented it twice and told me that if the behavior continued I might be terminated.  No verbal warning, and no consultation...straight to written documentation. I hadn't been written up or given a warning, since I was in high school.  Needless to say, I wasn't happy.

My response was pretty simple and direct, "Are you out of your mind! The company is seriously going to fire me for being late to interviews with just 2 potential candidates? And the candidates weren't even any good!  I need to talk to Richard.", I said, and then tugged on my tie like an angry school boy.

She responded, "I already have spoken to Richard and he agrees.  It's important for our leaders to be on time for interviews.

"It's also important for the head of HR not to fall asleep in staff meetings.  Isn't it?"

" What?! How dare you! I get tired during those late meetings and I have to rest my eyes."

" Rest your eyes?  I think that's called sleeping."

" You say tomato and I tomato."

After this unpleasant exchange me and HR I began to see the whole picture.  Richard, my General Manager was being two faced.  With me, he was applauding my efforts, and praising me, but behind my back he was talking trash.  It got worse.  Since I wasn't the assistant GM our line extensions were one digit apart so one evening I received a voicemail from the regional office that was meant for him. The voicemail was left by our assistant VP and outlined a meeting between Richard and the regional assistant about how they should have me transferred.  I was shocked! I couldn't tell him that I heard the voicemail, so I just waited until we had our weekly conference and then I laid it out.

"How are things going this week?", he asked.

I looked at him and he was fidgeting in his chair.  He always fidgeted in his chair, almost like he didn't feel comfortable being a leader.  I sat there watching him and finally I just said to myself, "f#$k it!" 

"You don't like me do you Richard?", I asked him straight away.  No frivolities just straight to the point.

"That's not true. I do.  I think sometimes you question my authority but otherwise you do a great job.  I can't say you don't. We had our best numbers since you came on board. Why would you say something like that?"

"Well apparently I've find out about a little plot to have me transferred, and I'm a bit upset.  I guess you've been talking to Jeff about moving me some where else?"

His face became flushed, and all he could say was, "What?  I don't know what you're talking about.  What are you talking about?  Where did you hear that?"

"Let's just say a little bird told me.  Is it true?"

" Maybe?  Who told you?"

" That's not important.  What is important is that if I'm doing such a good job why are you telling people I'm not behind my back."

" I've never told anyone that you weren't doing a good job.  Well maybe a few people.  It's just you're difficult to deal with sometimes.  You're so, so, so, ....direct."

" And that's a bad thing?  That I'm straight with you, that I don't play games?  That's bad."

" Well sometimes you have to play the game to get ahead.  It's not always about the numbers."

"  I guess you're right that's my problem.  I think it is all about the numbers but if it isn't what is it all about?"

" I've been running this place for over a year and we've been bleeding for a while and you come in and in six months were doing better than we have in 2 years.  That makes me look bad."

" So I'm helping you out but it makes you look bad?"

" Yeah because I couldn't do it on my own.  You come in and it looks like you're doing all the work.  That's bad for me."

" Why is it bad?  You brought in the right person, and you've motivated me to get things done.  Spin it that way to people.  It's not me,  it's you."

" It doesn't look that way.  Our relationship is always on edge.  I can't relax because you're more experienced than me and people look to you for guidance.  They don't look to me for anything.  I need to learn how to be successful as a GM on my own.  That's why I want you to transfer.  So I can do it on my own."

" Dude.  I think you have a bad perception of yourself, and a good leader always hires the right people and let's them do their work.  I think it's a bad idea for me to transfer."

" Well it's too late it's already in the works.  What do you think?  Maybe you can transfer to Whittier?"

I sat there for a long time.  Silent, just thinking about why this idiot who had done nothing for a year and was finally getting some notoriety for the right reasons, wanted me to transfer.  It didn't make any sense, and since he was the former regional assistant, he must have been bad mouthing me to the VP for a while now.  I had been with the company nine years and now I was being passed off like a failure when really I was succeeding, despite my stupid boss.

"Well what do you think?  Whittier needs some help and you're just the guy to help them."

I looked at him for a long time, "Ya know what?  F#$k it!  I quit.  F#$k you and f#$k this place.  It isn't worth it. I'm giving you two weeks notice."

He looked both relieved and shocked.  "What?  Well there's no call for language like that.  And why would you leave the company after all the time you've invested?"

"Richard you have the VP's ear, so it's pretty obvious I'm not going to get promoted because I'm sure you haven't said anything good about me."

"That's not true, I tell Jim you're a hard worker but you have too many of your own ideas.  You don't follow the program."

"Not everyone fits into the same box Richard.  In fact, I think the reason we've been successful is because we're allowed to use our own personal judgment. To be creative."

"That's just it.  You can't just go and do what you want."

"I don't do what I want. I do what I need to do for us to be successful.  F#$k it, I'll give you one week to find a replacement." 

"One week?  Well that doesn't seem fair."

"Fair? Is it fair that I've busted my ass for 9 years and we're doing well and you want me to transfer?!  One week.  that's it."

"Alright. I think you're making a big mistake."

"I'm not making a mistake. You are."

And I left his office.  I went to my desk and started clearing out my stuff.  Sixty minutes later, the head of HR came in and handed me my final check, which I knew was coming.  There was no way they were going to let me stick around a week and bad mouth Richard.

As she handed me the check she smiled, "Here you go.  Good luck.  Remember you have a no compete agreement so no going to the competition.", and she waved a finger at me.

"Remember we're in California and you can't enforce a no compete or I'll sue your ass. This is a right to work state.  You have a nice day!", and I picked up my box and left.

Some times you just gotta say "f#$k it!"  

The Google Controversy:"That's Just Like Your Opinion Man"

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A few weeks ago, I was reading an article about how a series of planned protests at Google offices in West Los Angeles, designed to support an engineer's right to free speech, were cancelled. That's not really news worthy right?  Not really, when you consider what's happening all over the world. So why am I writing about it? I'm writing because how did so many people have the misconception that free speech or first amendment rights apply to the workplace. I'm writing about it because over the past 30 years, despite being raised that we can become anything and that our opinions really matter, all workers are slowly losing their voices and the benefits which were previously taken for granted.

Why are so many workers, specifically tech workers, under the impression that their opinions actually matter.  After reading the article, I began to understand that many people are completely and utterly clueless regarding freedom of speech. First amendment rights don't apply in the work place because THE COMPANY OWNS YOUR ENVIRONMENT.  It's a private space, not a public one.

Does anyone seriously think this particular Google engineer is the first person to have been fired for giving his opinion?  He may be a brilliant engineer, but he was incredibly naive.  He didn't get fired for having an opinion, he got fired for voicing his opinion to everyone in the company.  Wake the heck up everybody! Like this hasn't happened before?  It has probably happened millions of times, maybe even billions of times, if you take into account the history of corporations. People have been getting fired for voicing their opinion for years, just ask Jerry MacGuire.  Well you really can't do that since Jerry is a fictional character, but you get the idea.

I actually started laughing while reading the article, because the entire situation was absolutely absurd and that engineer, if he was really smart, should have kept his opinions to himself.  I was also laughing because I remember being young and stupid. I recalled the countless times I got myself in trouble for merely voicing a strong business opinion in a meeting, let alone typing a 10 page memo and then sending it out to the rest of the company.  The only time I would have done something that brash/dumb is if I knew I was going to quit and go work somewhere else.  What was he thinking? Did he think Google's CEO would read his memo and say,

"You know what?  He's absolutely right.  Get HR on the phone we need to rethink this whole diversity thing. Let's revamp our entire policy based upon this memo! "

"Haha!  Lol!  LMFAO! _____plug in your own emoticon."

That's not the way the corporate world works. You can't talk politics, sex, or race,  Why?  Not because it's offensive, which it is.  Not because it's volatile which it is.  Not because it can be racist, which it absolutely can.  The reason you can't discuss these things in a corporate environment is because they divide people and takes their minds of the real goal. To make a profit!!!! If you have people writing memos anytime they feel slighted, passed over, or that the company values don't align with their own, the company servers would crash. The focus for all the employees working in a corporate environment, needs to be on making money, not on some other employee's feeling.

Hello? Is this sinking in?  The business world is a cruel and unforgiving place, where your opinions unfortunately don't matter, unless they improve the company's revenues and profits. Is it fair?  Nope. Is it right?  Nope.  Is it insensitive? Absolutely.  However, the sooner you realize you're a cog in the corporate machinery, the better off you'll be in your career advancement.  If you want to voice your opinion get in your car and scream your damn head off.  Buy a stress ball.  Heck buy a bunch of stress balls. Take out your frustrations on your steering wheel, or pound the dashboard, but absolutely do not send a memo to everyone telling them your opinion. If you're that unhappy or disillusioned,  just go work somewhere else.  It's not worth the frustration.

 If you need a refresher course on the corporate world and the harsh reality of corporate life, just read a few of my other posts.

Otherwise, just keep your head down, work hard, and keep your personal opinions to yourself.

SFTD

Uber Actually Did Turn Into "Boob-er"

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In the past few months, unless you've been living under a rock, or a remote portion of the wilderness preparing for the zombie apocalypse, you may have read about the resignation of Uber's CEO, Travis Kalanick. Surprised?  I'm not. After all, he was kind of asking for it. Since Uber's inception I've always wondered how they are going to make their business model profitable.  Yes they have the leading market share, and yes everyone and anyone uses Uber to get around town, but they simply don't make enough money to substantiate the costs.  I know, they have their algorithms all worked out so eventually they'll make a boatload of money.  Remember the last time an algorithm didn't work out for a very large company?  I think it was the Black-Scholes equation and it was little company called Lehman Brothers which at the time it's market cap was close to $60 billion dollars. Almost as much as Uber is valued at currently. Hmmm....

However, the reasons why Uber won't work is not for me to decide, but rather the public and its venture capitalists who are losing their asses.  Don't believe me?  In the last quarter alone Uber lost $991 million dollars. In addition, as  reported by CNN Money's Seth Fiegerman, Uber lost $2.8 billion dollars in 2016 alone.

Yet, it seems the board of Uber has finally decided that it's had enough from Uber's CEO, and not for financial reasons.  Yes he has been brilliant at times.  He has a wonderful vision and is great at getting people to buy into his idea, but he has also acted like a complete jerk at times. Most notably displayed in the youtube video of his ride with an Uber driver. If you haven't seen the video feel free to click on the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTEDYCkNqns

First of all, in watching the video, I made a quick observation...he's a bit of a dork. He's bumping back and forth between two girls and acting like a boy in grade school. Here's a tip on how to get women interested in you; try talking to them! They might actually have something intriguing to say!

The second thing that I noticed, is he is completely rude to his business partner, the Uber driver. Yes everyone, Uber drivers are business partners, despite the public's misconception of them, especially in other countries. They don't receive healthcare, they don't have 401ks, they are business partners. And yet, Mr. Kalanick chooses to treat this business partner very poorly. He shakes his hand when getting ready to exit the vehicle, but he doesn't let go of the driver's hand, or the situation. When the driver questions his directive with the company, he gets a bit nasty.

He says, "Some people don't like to take responsibility for their own shit. "

Quite an ironic statement, considering Mr. Kalanick was unable to take responsibility for any of the "shit" that was stirred up at Uber.

Rather than harp on the shortcomings of company leadership, many senior and mid level managers can learn a few things from the Uber saga. I've listed a few of those below:

1.Cultural Identity Starts At The Top - After doing a bit of research on the ordeals of Uber, it seemed apparent that senior leadership chose to ignore a lot of innate problems rather than addressing them head on. Number one, they seemed to revel in the party atmosphere of the company. In a famous or now infamous email to staff in 2013, Kalanick wrote his "Miami letter" which was filled with all sorts of informative directives for a company party. According to a recode article, it contained interesting codes for conduct, like don't throw beer kegs off of tall buildings. And employees would be charged $200 for puking in the hotel.

Moreover, there was one specific word of advice, "do not have sex with another employee UNLESS..." The letter reads more like a memo from the head of a fraternity before a keg party, than the CEO of a billion dollar company. I guess at the time Uber thought HR referred to Hangovers and Responsible Sex, not Human Resources.

Leadership starts at the top, and the message should have been more professional, and a bit less comical. Besides, what CEO writes a memo that starts with "you better read this or I'll kick your ass"?!!!

2."Bros Before Hoes" Is Not A Mission Statement - In reading about the issues at Uber, I have to say it certainly reminded me of the HBO show "Silicon Valley". It seems that the start up economy is a bunch of guys trying to become successful in order to meet women. So naturally the tech sector is a testosterone infused environment. When a female engineer enters the picture, she is immediately judged for her looks, rather than her ability, which puts her at a disadvantage. Yet keep in mind, this is not exclusive to Uber, many other companies have the same issues, but they address them accordingly.

If you want to get a feel for the type of environment created at Uber please read former Uber engineer Susan Fowler's blog post about her strange year with the company.

A Very Stranger Year At Uber


Fowler's blog describes a culture of protecting top performers who consistently cross the line of harassment.  Moreover, these top performers are seemingly impervious to complaints and in her case, she is unable to get HR to listen to her complaints.  I would encourage you to read the entire blog post and judge for yourself, because it's fascinating.

However in Uber's defense the lack of women in management seems to be an industry wide issue and not just exclusive to Uber.  So how do we change that?  Maybe hire more women engineers and promote them?  No that would be too logical, and it would break up the boys clubs.  Would that be so hard?  Would that be so difficult?

3. "Super Pumped" Is Not A Company Value Statement - I had to laugh when I read an article in the NY Times claiming this was one of the company's 14 corporate values.  Apparently this term could have had two meanings at Uber.  One of the meanings could refer to being excited about your job, and the other could refer to the over charged testosterone filled environment in the tech portion of Uber and many other Silicon Valley companies.  When investors give a bunch of money to people who have know idea how to create a company culture, you get a bunch of brilliant children running amok. In addition, you end up with value statements like "super pumped" and "always be hustlin".  Isn't "always be hustlin" a line from Omar on the HBO show "The Wire"?

4. "Boober" Is Not Another Term For Dongle - I hadn't realized how deep and ingrained the "bro" culture was at Uber, until I started reading about all of the stupid things that were associated with the company.  I describe the incidents as "stupid" because if you're the CEO of a major start up and you refer to your company as "Boob-er" in an interview with GQ magazine, thinking people will find it amusing, than you're not thinking clearly. Common sense would tell you to be professional, but when everyone is kissing your butt, then it's easy to believe your own hype. Perhaps Kalanick believed his own hype.  Please keep in mind, that Uber is not the only company to have idiots working for them, in fact many companies are full of managers who are morons. However, morons can be redeemed and they can be educated.  Actually, the sooner you can identify the idiots and get rid of them, the better off your company will be in the short and long term.  Without Kalanick, Uber seems to be heading in a better direction, and perhaps after he has swallowed his pride, he can be educated and reintegrated into the company.

5. "Assholes Finish First" Is Not A Mantra For CEOs - After doing a bit of research, I concluded there were just a lot of unqualified men being promoted at Uber.  People who had no clue how to supervise employees. Over a period of time there were 215 complaints ranging from sexual harassment to discrimination and even bullying from management of the company.  Allegedly, over 60% of Uber's management team are first time managers, so the company has a serious lack of management experience. However, you can't lay all the blame on the new managers, perhaps they weren't given any instruction on how to conduct themselves.  Perhaps they were just following their own manager's lead.  It would be the blind leading the blind. When you're a parent and you hand your kid the car keys for the first time, you still have to teach them how to drive. Right? Otherwise they're just go to run over people if they aren't paying attention.  Managing people is not about intimidation...it's about inspiration.


Let's hope for all the venture capitalists involved, especially Benchmark, that the Uber board has learned its lesson and can right the ship. Otherwise I see a lot of money going down the drain in the next few years. Another lesson to be learned from this saga is that if you're going to be a major corporation, with a visible profile, you have to have some type of diversity.  Why?  Because different perspectives in a corporate environment are healthy.  In fact, they should be encouraged not discouraged.

As a postscript, that works both ways people.  I worked with a company years ago whose corporate staff was 80% women, and that didn't go well either.  They didn't respect my opinion because as the CEO once said, "You can't trust men. They're all alike." She said it as a joke with her husband standing right next to her, but I got the message.

Diversity is something that should matter to all, not just a few.  Can't we all just get along?...

Watch Out For The Professional Interviewer

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A few months ago, I recommended someone for a position to a friend, who had turned over reps in a territory at a rate of 75%.  Keep in mind, I NEVER recommend someone unless I think they're a fit. It reflects badly upon me if they don't work out and even worse if they are fired within the first 90 days. So when I recommend somebody it's a safe bet.  I've never been wrong.  Then again, I don't refer candidates very often.

Naturally, I expect the person I recommend to go through the normal hiring process, but I had no doubt my referral would be hired.  Imagine my surprise when I was copied on an email thanking him for his time, but they were going to choose someone who they thought was a better fit and had more experience in that particular medical field. Now, I know the hiring manager personally so I was shocked...and personally offended. Obviously to him, I was not a good judge of character.  I fired off an email because I was upset.  In the email, I stated that I don't recommend people lightly and that he was making a mistake. I concluded the email with the following statement.

"Experience doesn't sell products.  People do."

And I believe that statement.  No matter how much experience you have, if you sit on your ass, you won't sell anything.

The hiring manager fired back an email stating that the other guy, "seemed to want it more". The candidate had been through 3 jobs in 3 years and was really looking for a solid company so he could stay long term.  I got tired of email chat so I called him.

"Nate, I think you're making a mistaking not hiring Tim.  I told you that I NEVER recommend people unless it's a sure thing."

"I really liked Tim a lot.  But this guy followed up every day and he had a plan outlined.  He just seemed like he wanted it more."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Tim seemed like he thought he had the position already.  He seemed too confident."

"Nate, didn't you tell him the next step was to interview with the VP?  So you told him he was moving forward.  What the hell is supposed to think?"

"I changed my mind.  I'm sorry. But like I said, the other guy wanted it more."

"Didn't you tell me that the other guy has had 3 jobs in 3 years?"

"Yes.  So what does that have to do with anything?"

"Jesus do I have to spell it out.  He's a job hopper.  You can go ahead and hire a carnival worker that's fine with me. Maybe he can guess your customers weight too, but Tim has been with his company for ten years.  What the heck are you thinking?"

"Hey there's no reason to get offensive.  I just didn't like your guy as much."

"That's not what you said.  You said this guy seemed to want it more.  How well did this guy interview?  I bet he was perfect, brought a brag book, the whole nine yards."

"Oh yeah, one of the best interviews I've had in a while."

"Didn't you say the same thing about Amy the crazy lady, Trent the drunk guy who touched your CEO's ass, and Jennifer who couldn't keep her hands off the VP's crotch? Where are they?"

"Yes. But they were different.  They were nuts. This guy is solid.  What's wrong with someone who interviews well?"

"Nothing except that in your industry some people are professional interviewers."

"What the heck is a professional interviewer?"

" It's someone that's sucks at their job but is great at interviewing and in the end that's really all they are, is a professional interviewer.  Not a sales person. They've perfected the interview process, but they turn over more than steaks on a grill."

" This guy is not like that.  He was well prepared he had all his ducks in a row.  He knew the company inside and out."

" Yeah he took all the time to do that instead of doing his current job.  I'll bet you he doesn't last 90 days."

" Why are you so pissed off?  You should have coached your guy better.  Don't put this on me."

" You know what? You're right.  I should have taken the time to explain to him better how to play the game, but I guess I made the mistake of thinking you were intelligent enough to take my recommendation which I don't send lightly. "

" Fuck off.  So now this is all about you.  Not about him.  I get it.  I'm just supposed to do as the almighty consultant asks."

" No, don't try to turn this around.  You came to me and asked me if I knew anyone and when I offered somebody, you turned down the sure thing I'd just handed you."

" I don't have to take everything you say as the word of god. Let's just agree to disagree.  If you had all the information in front of you.  You'd agree with me."

" Bullshit. I'll agree to disagree.  But you have to take my bet."

" What bet?"

" I'll bet you a hundred bucks he doesn't make it 6 months.  He's a professional interviewer and nothing more."

" Okay.  I'll take that bet.  And if I win you have to give me free advice for another 5 years."

" I'm already doing that, so fine."

" Man you really are taking this hard. "

" Yes I am.  Like I said I don't recommend people lightly and I think you're making a mistake."

" Well we'll find out in 6 months.  I'm gonna love taking your hundred dollars."

" We'll see about that..."

30 days later I got a text:

"I owe you a hundred dollars.  My guy got drunk at the NSM and got fired on the spot.  He unzipped one of the other reps dresses on the dance floor and slapped the CEO in the face."

I sent a response, and this exchange followed:

"Haha! Professional Interviewer and professional molesterer.   I told you."

" Piss off! Is your guy still around?"

" Nope. He got another gig."

" Too bad.  I liked him."

" He didn't want the job enough."

" You're a dick."

" Yeah but I'm $100 richer! :)"

" I hate you."

" Let's get a beer and I'll try not to gloat."

" I still hate you but I'll see you at Barneys."

I guess the only real lesson here for managers is that the idea is to be objective in the interview and not "fall in love".  Nate always did just that in the interview and so he always had turnover. Believe me, I've had my fair share of "losers" whom I've hired, but I tried to be objective and not get too excited about the candidate.  If you look at the whole picture, you can see through the lines on the resume and figure out who's a professional interviewer and who's a really good fit for the job.  Not everyone can get it right every single time, but if you can get to 80% you're doing a great job.

Good luck hiring!

SFTD

Be on the lookout for an upcoming book by SFTD!  

Your Boss's Untimely Emails

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='https://www.123rf.com/profile_sifotography'>sifotography / 123RF Stock Photo

It's Sunday night and I just had a friend stand up to leave the restaurant where we were enjoying a great meal and watching the Cubs play the Red Sox.  If you don't know who those teams are then you are not a baseball fan, but it was a good game!  She was so upset that she literally shot up out of her chair and stood to leave because she was pissed off by an email she received from her boss at 6:30 pm.  My wife stood up too.

"Where are you going?  The game is only in the 4th inning?"

"I just got an email from my boss I need to respond to."

"Why the hell are you checking your emails on a Sunday night?"

Our friend responded, "Because my phone was vibrating so I saw the email and clicked on it."

My wife was upset because our friend was upset but she put the onus on her, "Why did you read it?"

I thought the opposite, "Why the hell did he send it on a Sunday night?"

"Right?!" was our friends respond and she added, "It's the weekend.  Why would you email a field ride review on a Sunday night? Especially one that has negative comments.  That son of a bitch!"

I had to agree.  Apparently this manager sent her a field ride evaluation and he couldn't help but send it on a Sunday night.  Why?  To ruin the employee's weekend?  To be a jerk?  To show the employee that she needed improvement in areas and put her in a situation where she could do nothing to improve the situation except get upset?

I have to agree, her boss is a jerk.  Maybe not intentionally, but sending a negative email to someone on a weekend, when neither one of you SHOULD be working, is a bad move.  First of all, it's the weekend!  Secondly, we are all synced to our email and phones, and invariably we check emails all the time. He had to know she would check her email that night and he sent the evaluation anyway. WTF?!

I have devoted my career to teaching managers how to not be complete dickheads and get the most out of their people. However, there is that one person in every class who doesn't listen but rather REFUSES to listen.  That one person who gets pissed off and fights against being somewhat nice to employees, because they think that there is an intrinsic reason they are now the boss.  That one person who sends twitter posts that read "only the strong survive", or "the best...lead the rest".

That person is an idiot.  And if you send an email to your employees on a Sunday and the email  doesn't  have a positive message... you're an idiot.

SFTD

Is Your Company Worth Dying For?

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Recently, I came down with a terrible case of the flu.  In fact, it was so bad I was nearly hospitalized and stayed in bed for days.  I never stay in bed.  In fact, I hate staying in bed. So while I stayed in bed, my wife took care of me, but I could sense she was trying to avoid getting sick as well.  I knew she had a conference she had to attend in the next few days so she was literally placing food and supplies outside my door like a guard dropping off meals for a prisoner. She would then open the door, slide the food in, and close the door. It's lonely when you're in solitary confinement.

However, I understood why she was reluctant to interact, because she had never seen me this ill.  In fact, I don't think I had ever been quite so ill in my entire life.  Moreover, she had a conference to attend and would be speaking so she didn't want to miss the opportunity.  However as the days passed, she started to cough more, and eventually she contracted the same flu virus as myself.  She called the company she was working with and notified them she couldn't attend.  What was their response to her 103 degree fever and her doctor's notice?

"We need you here whether you're sick or not, you need to attend.", this came from the event coordinator.

"Surely you're joking. Why would I come if I'm sick?  I'll just get everyone else sick.  We work in the medical field, do you know how bad that sounds?", she replied, more than a bit shocked at the coordinator's lack of empathy.

"I know it sounds bad, but it looks worse that you're one of our key speakers and you're not going to show up because of a little flu."

My wife's patience had run out and I'm sure her fever wasn't helping, "A little flu! A little flu! You call a 103.4 degree fever a little flu?  That is absurd.  I have a signed note from my doctor stating he doesn't want me to fly.  What do you propose I do?"

"We are all sick. Just take some Day-Quil and get on a plane like everyone else.", apparently the event coordinator did not have a degree in bed side manners.

My wife fumed, "What?! I'm in complete shock.  Not from the fever, but from your apparent candor or should I say lack of understanding.  I'm sorry but I am in no condition to fly and despite my obligation to the company, I'm staying home.  You'll have to find someone else to fill in for me."

"Well if you're not going to come than I will speak to our management team about your relationship with the company and if we want to continue as partners."

"You don't have to do that.  I understand that this puts the company in a bind and I'm sorry, but I'm sick and there's nothing more to be said. I'm not willing to risk my health or that of others so best of luck at your meeting."

"So you're not coming? This is bad."

"No I'm not coming. I think I made that clear, and bad or not I will definitely be making some calls of my own.  Good luck with your meeting.  I need to get some rest now."

"Wait.  So what should I do?"

"Maybe you should call one of your speakers who isn't sick. I'm going to get some rest like my doctor told me.  Good bye."

I was amazed that she didn't throw her cell phone to the ground.  I rarely see my wife angry, but she was sick and now she was fuming.

"What the hell do they expect me to do?  Die for their stupid company?  I'm not even an employee!  I can't imagine how they treat their employees.  That was ridiculous. I'm never speaking for them again.  In fact, I'm not sure I'm going to use any of their devices ever again."

I thought long and hard about what she said, and in some cases companies do expect there employees to come in sick, to work through pain, and for what?  Nothing really, except to show their work ethic and loyalty to the company.

However you have to wonder if that loyalty is ever returned...think of the loyalty a company would earn if it was reciprocated.  A little empathy goes a long way, but a lack of empathy can sever even the best of relationships.

-SFTD

Big Data...or Big Mistake

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My wife has worked in the medical field for over 15 years.  She has cultivated relationships with people, including many sales reps and she has established friends over the years.  When I came home from work the other day she was distraught.

"Apparently I'm losing my clinical dietitian Jamie with _____ company because they're changing territories."

My response was simply, "Why?"

"She said they brought in some big data analysis company who realigned all the territories according to some stupid algorithm."

I asked, "I wonder if the algorithm took your relationship with Jamie into account."

"Apparently not, and if I don't get a good dietitian, I'm dropping them as my pump company. I won't make recommendations for them anymore.  And I won't speak for them either."

I sensed she was being a bit over dramatic but she did have a long relationship with this particular dietitian, who was exceptional.  And as is mainly the case in my house, I put my foot in my mouth.

"It can't be that hard to find a good clinical dietitian.  Is it?"

"Are you kidding me!  There's been times where I haven't been available or we were on vacation and Jamie literally saved our patients lives with some of her recommendations. You've even met Jamie a few times. How dare you!"

I apologized immediately for my ignorance. Mind you, I don't know that much about dietitians but apparently the job is not just recommending what type of food a patient should eat.  And so my wife explained that these people go to school for at least 6 years, have training yearly, and a good dietitian, especially a renal or diabetes educated one, can make a huge difference in a patients life.

I guess saving patients lives or influencing them didn't factor into the company's algorithm either.  I know that there are a lot of people to help support patients and their maladies, but you never know how much of an impact changing a sales territory can affect people's lives.  At least not until it affects you.

I'm not so sure it's a good idea to crunch numbers when you're impacting peoples lives.  I know that statistics are not supposed to lie, but there is no way to measure the ability of a good sales rep, great dietitian, or even a relationship, and factor it into an algorithm.  I'm sure that people are taking those considerations into account when mapping out territories, aren't they? Wrong!  Wake up CEO's.  Not everything can be reduced to a number.

I still have many friends working in medical sales, so I called one of them who is a regional manager, because I knew he was going through exactly the same situation with his company.   They had discussed adding a few reps, and the company had sought his advice on where to "carve out" a territory in his region. They gave him maps, and accounts, and he spent weeks trying to figure out how to spread out the accounts, in order to minimize the damage of a change.  Why would there be "damage" you might be asking yourself?  The answer is simple. Customers do not like change.

Once he did all this calculating and reworking of his territories, would you like to know what the company did?  They ignored all of his hard work and just arbitrarily made changes based upon some recommendations they received from a consulting company.  A consulting company whom supposedly based their decisions upon geography, account leads, and revenue.  He showed me the data because I was a math and economics major in college and I told him exactly my thoughts. But it didn't take a math wiz to figure out the problem with the territory break down.

"You have 3 large territories and one tiny one.  That makes no sense.  How did they come up with this algorithm? What did they factor in?"

"Beats me!  Current revenue maybe? But this little territory won't support a rep! There aren't enough prospective new customers, just a few current ones.", he said and he pointed to a tiny map in the middle of two large territories.

"Why is it so small?", I asked. "Is it just a few large accounts?"

"Bingo!  They figure if just one rep focuses on these 3 accounts they can maintain the territory."

"That sounds reasonable.  What happens if they happen to lose one of the accounts?", I asked.

"Uh, they're fired?"

"That sounds promising for a new rep.  Is there a contingency plan if something happens?"

"Uh, they're fired...and I'm fired?"

"It sounds like that consulting company and their big data algorithm figured it all out for you."

"Gee thanks for the support?  Anymore good advice."

"Don't lose any of those accounts."

"You're brilliant!", he said with a mouth full or sarcasm.

"I know.", I answered with a wry smile and a laugh.

Yet I felt sorry for him, knowing full well that if the company had listened to his advice, he might have full control over his future and that of his reps.  Sometimes big data can make some big mistakes, or set you up for some big failures.  I believe it's best to use data but to also work with your people to come up with a plan that will make everyone successful.

But what do I know, I'm just a consultant...

SFTD