We all go through this , although none of us will admit to it. You have a friend, in sales, in service, in management, in whatever... You both have the same type of job, but suddenly they're having a great year and you're doing okay, but you're not #1. This sucks! Especially if you're used to being ahead of that person year after year. And more specifically if you're a competitive person, this is especially painful. Here' a tip though...let it go.
You can't always win, I'm sorry. And if you think you can, then you're dead wrong, it's an impossibility. Teams, people, they invariably lose at some point. So just accept the fact that you may not be the best every single day, but you're in it for the long haul. And be careful what you wish for because it may not always be the best thing for you.
Years and years and years ago, I was doing very well with a company running a team of 12 people and we were kicking ass! I was young, on the fast track, and my friend was on his way out. He was cantankerous, had no college degree, and really no future, because he fought with management all the time. Now keep in mind, he was a smart guy, and right most of the time, but he couldn't get over the "college degree" hurdle. I told him, "Go at night and get one. Any idiot can earn a degree. Look at me! I have two!"(This is true by the way)
So he did get his college degree. Pretty soon he was in a management role and quickly he rose in the company to a General Manager. Sooner than me! I was pissed...I complained about it to my wife, "Why did I tell him to get that degree? That bastard got the job I wanted! I hate him. " Just basically whining all the way to number 1 in the region but still mad I wasn't promoted before him. I had the numbers to support it, but people don't always look at the numbers. So there I was, jealous, angry, and bitter at my friend for getting promoted before me. Why? Because I thought he had what I wanted...and then we had a little chat at lunch.
"Damn Bill, I can't believe you're a GM now. You're making all the cash. It must be great!" (You little bastard you stole my job even though your numbers are worse. This is bullshit)
" You'd think so huh. But I bet I make only $10 hour based on how much I work, and I'm always at the office. My wife hates me, my kids hate me. It's not all it's cracked up to be. I never see my family."
"Really? Why don't you delegate all that work. Take it easy! You're the boss remember?" (He's saying this to make me feel better. Patronizing me...bastard)
"It's a lot of responsibility. I can't sleep some nights wondering if I'll get fired. There's too much to control...it's hard. And you can't delegate everything because some people just don't perform the way you want to all the time."
"That doesn't sound so great now that I think about it. And to think, I wanted that job." (Maybe he's being sincere, this doesn't sound so great. He's still a bastard though)
"Yeah well you can have it...and the stomach pains I've been getting because of it. It's not that great being a manager dude. Stay where you're at. It's better."
"Thanks for the advice. Maybe I will." (He's bullshitting me)
Of course I didn't listen to him, and soon I was promoted and we were suffering together in the same GM role, working our butts off, for little or no thanks. We were both doing well, and I wasn't jealous at all. I knew he was going through the same crap I was, and he had a family to worry about. I let it go, and I didn't have any ulcers, no sleepless nights, none of that. Cause I only focused on what I could control. The jealousy was gone and soon so was Bill. They "eliminated" his position. He was number 1 in the country in growth and they downsized him out. Thank you! Big mistake...he went on to be the VP at their competition, and kicked their butts!
If you have a friend, a partner, or anyone who's doing well give them a pat on the back. Keep in mind those accolades don't always last that long, and don't get jealous, don't get angry, just go make money and be happy with what you have. Focus only on what you can control and the rest will take care of itself.
-M
-M
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