Anyone Can Sell - Really?

In my lengthy career I meet with operations people all the time and executives who are in need of help with their sales teams.  Usually, when someone is coming in to give advice on how to increase your sales, it means your team sucks.  It's true.  Why would you need a new sales manager if your team is kicking ass?  One thing I have learned from these meetings with RM's,VP's, CEO's, and COO's, is that operations people really think that, "Anyone can sell."

I may have been paraphrasing but I heard those particular words from a VP of a very large corporation in the service industry.  He said it over and over and over. 

"Anyone can sell. It's a numbers game.  The more people you see, the more you're going to sell.  You just have to stay on top of it. Sales reps are lazy.  That's the problem." 

I was initially offended by his remark, and then curious as to why he thought that sales was so easy. So I asked, "You seem to know a lot about sales. Were you a sales person for while?"

"Well not officially, but I sold accounts.  I'd take the executives out for golf with the sales rep, and after a few drinks.  Bingo!  They signed the contract.  No problem.  I can remember this really big account where we were having trouble landing it and I came in, talked to them for a few minutes and bam!  They signed."

At first, I was tempted to tell him that all he really did was help with the closing.  That the rep did all the leg work, the appointment setting, the golf reservations, and the needs analysis, but since I didn't want to offend his pompous ass, and I was a potential new employee,  I held back some very sarcastic and biting remarks and asked him another question.

"If it's such an easy job, and this means no disrespect to you.  Why is your company's turnover so high and why are your reps not selling?  Do you have any idea?"

"They're fucking lazy.", he said and then laughed. "I don't know, that's why we're talking to you.  You're supposed to know this shit." He said and then laughed again.

I laughed too, just to make sure he was comfortable with me.  He seemed like a good guy, amiable, but just confused.  Operations people tend to think everything can be fixed, including an under performing rep.  Not to offend any operations people, because I too was in operations for a long time.  They tend to believe if you make a process map for everything, then you can figure out what's wrong and you can fix the problem. That if you review your Six Sigma training, you can actually "fix" a person, even an under performing rep.  Wrong!

"Good one.", I said. "Okay, besides not being fucking lazy, what are you looking for in a successful rep?  For example, what kind of background do you want them to have?  Do you want them to have a degree? Do you want them to have a sales background? What are you looking for?"

"That's my Sales VP's job to figure that stuff out. Hell that'll be your job if we take you on. I got enough issues to deal with,to keep this ship moving forward. It's her job to handle that."

CEO's, COO's, VP's, all say that same stupid shit.  They always draw analogies to football, soccer, baseball, and war: oh especially war. "I wanna know would you go to war with this sales team you have?", I would often hear people shouting at their managers. One time, my general manager asked me that very same question.

"If you were going to war.  Would you take this team you have?"
"Well no I wouldn't."
" I knew it! Then you should fire all of them and get a team that you would take to war."
" If you let me finish, I wouldn't take them to war, because first of all Heather is a pacifist and not very fit.  She may look fit but she's not.  Shawn has asthma so he wouldn't last very long in the field, and Greg has eye problems so he probably wouldn't recognize our side from the enemy.  About the only person I would go to war with is Colin, who's a complete fucking psycho, who owns a lot of guns, hunts all the time even when it's off season, and who's hero is Buffalo Bill from the movie 'Silence of the Lambs'.  So if I had to chose some one to go to war with, it would be Colin."
"That guy is really creepy.", was my GM's response.
" Tell me about it.  You hired him remember.  But he'd be great during a war. "
"You made your point" , he said.

  I have every respect for veterans but I'm sorry to say that if you have ever been in combat, you know that it's very real and very dangerous.  When you sit behind a desk you're not at war.  You think you are, but there is no real threat you're going to get shot.  If there was a threat you would die, then maybe managers would take more interest in their "troops", to help save their asses.

I apologize for the digression, and back to our currently scheduled conundrum.  I was interviewing with a VP of a fairly good sized company who didn't think much of sales reps.

"Okay, let's forget about what she wants.  Think about it on a personal level.  What would you like to see in a rep.  Probably someone like yourself right?"

"Oh hell no!  I'm too much in your face.  The way I sell doesn't always work.  No, I'd want someone who was direct but not too aggressive.  Someone who could talk to people and not piss them off.  And someone with patience.  I have no patience for people who can't make a decision. ", he said and then laughed again, but a little awkwardly.

"Wait, so you're saying you want someone unlike you? Aggressive but not overly aggressive and with a little more patience?"

" I guess so.", he said and looked a bit confused.  Here was a guy running a 30 million dollar region and for the first time he was indecisive.  Initially he looked dazed, then he got pissed.

" What the hell are you getting at partner? I'm not sure I like where this is going."

I had to bring him back, "Before you get upset, and I can tell you're getting upset.  Before today, how often did you think about what you're company needed in a sales rep?  Like what were the qualifications for a good rep.  How often did you think about it?"

"I didn't think about it at all."

"Bingo!  You didn't give a shit.  Pardon my French.  But in order for your region to succeed and to be successful in sales,  you have to think about it.  It's not your responsibility to fix the problem, but you should at least be thinking about it. "

"Well that's why we called you." he said not as mad, but still a little miffed.

"I think about this stuff all day long, but I don't run this organization.  You do.  And if you give a damn every once in a while, then everyone else will follow suit. If you don't give a shit, then they don't give a shit."

He looked at me long and hard, trying to intimidate me, but hell I already had a job, so what did I care if he was offended.  I was speaking the truth, and pretty soon he understood, and his stare went from hard to relaxed. 

"That makes sense. Lead by example.", he said and nodded his head.

" I'm not saying go in and give a rah rah speech to all your sales people.  Just think about what you want in a rep, and pass that message along.  Then people will start to care, if you care."

" I like this guy.  Smart, and a smart ass.  I should give him your job.", he said and pointed at the RM who said nothing, but chuckled a bit.

" So I think that's part of the issue here is that the perception is that anyone can sell and so you're hiring anybody TO sell.  It's not that easy. We need GREAT people to sell your product not just anybody."

" Keep talking." he said and smiled.

" So if I were to accept this position, I would start by changing the hiring standards, and find people who have all the characteristics of a sales rep.  And I wouldn't hire just anyone.  Because...?", and I held out my finger waiting for a response.

" Not just anyone can sell.", he finished my sentence.  " I get it. I get it.  When can you start?" was his next question.

" I would have to give notice, but I'm still interviewing.", I said and smiled.

" Well don't take too long the position won't be open for much longer.  It's down to you and two other candidates.", he said trying to forcibly close me.

" I won't. ", I answered.

   And I didn't.  I called his RM the very next day and declined the position.   I didn't want to work for an asshole like that anyway.  "Anyone can sell!"  FU!

-M