When I was young I wrote a newsletter at my high school. It was very well received because it was funny, irreverent, and mostly because it was an "independent" newsletter. In other words, me and a few other friends got together and wrote our own school newspaper because we felt our high school did a lousy job of catering to the students. So with this "guerilla" journalism people thought it was cool to read it, and it became very popular. In fact, in fact you might say it was a "success".
Company newsletters on the other hand are complete shit. Yes that's right. I wrote it out, and spelled it correctly: S-H-I-T. They don't cater to employees they send out messages to employees. I know, because I used to write a company newsletter for our branch and I was always being chided for it being too "employee oriented". WTF? Isn't that what a newsletter is about? The employees! Isn't it designed to boost morale and get everyone working together? Apparently, I was mistaken. I thought people were supposed to actually enjoy reading the company newsletter, so I asked people what they would like in it, and I delivered. Bad idea? Apparently, because after 6 months I abandoned the idea and told them if they wanted a newsletter get someone else to write it because I actually had a job to do. Consequently, even though I was asked to come back and write it for another larger location of over 500 employees, I refused. If my message is not to entertain and inform the employees, than it's pretty stupid to have a newsletter.
Which brings me to my current job. A few years ago I was exceeding my quota exponentially, and the marketing director called me and wanted me to share my stories of success in the company newsletter. Again I refused. Why? Because when I told her what I did to differentiate myself in the field, her immediate response was:
"Did you get that approved?"
She didn't say, "good job", or "that's really interesting, how did you go about doing that?" Her immediate response was, "did you get that approved?"
I work in health care so obviously there are a lot of restrictions on what can be printed and what cannot be printed, and it needs to comply with all different kinds of regulations. I am well aware of the guidelines. So what I did was well within the guidelines of regulations. I didn't claim our products cured cancer, or gave a person super human strength. All I did was make up 7 different name badges that said something funny. That was it. They weren't making any claims they were just funny. However what they did was get a conversation started at every location I went to...so long as someone read the badge. And this in turn led to appointments which led to sales: end of story.
So when I told her how one badge, led to an appointment with a Medical Director, which then led to a very big account conversion she asked, "Well what did the badge say? What was so funny about it?"
I answered, "It said. When you read this badge you will think of unicorns and rainbows. And then I put my name underneath. That's it."
"That's it. That's not even funny." , was her response in a voice so dead pan, I thought for a moment it was a recording, or a GPS device was speaking to me.
" Well it's more silly than funny.", I said.
" Not really. What else have you done besides the badges?", she asked, and I waited for her to tell me to turn right on 4th street.
I could tell that she had a highly under developed sense of humor...like a coffee table. Which might be why our marketing material was so awful.
"Well I did a seminar with that program you developed."
She became extremely excited, "Oh great! And how did that go? Pretty good I bet?"
I responded, "Yes it did. It went fairly well, but it didn't create the buzz that my badges did."
She advised me, "Let's just put that in there, it'll be good if everyone sees that the program worked."
"Okay, it's your newsletter.", I answered and so she put my name in a story, along side 3 other people who all used the program she had developed and had devised. It had nothing to do with my big conversion or how a simple thing like a name badge can lead to an appointment and then a sale. It was all about her program and how it was being promoted.
In fact when she sent me a draft of the newsletter I called her immediately, "No mention of how I used humor to differentiate myself from other reps?"
"No. We don't want people getting too creative out in the field. They might do something stupid and get us in trouble." she said, again using her best dead pan voice.
"Oh you mean like getting a sale?" , I said.
"No. I mean like creating their own flyers or marketing material.", she answered and then paused and added, "Or making their own company badges."
"I got it.", and then I laughed, "I got the message loud and clear."
" What's so funny.", she said.
" Oh nothing. Like the badges you wouldn't get it."
" I don't like your tone.", she said with a little more stern and threatening voice.
" I don't like your newsletter. Thanks for including me though! Have a good day!", I said and hung up the phone.
Of course my boss called me fifteen minutes later and lectured me on why I shouldn't be pissing off our marketing director. I told her that we would be better off with a new marketing director, and thankfully one year later we got one. There is justice in the world...
Have a great day selling!
-M
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