Do you see the wonderful image of this young man smiling as he prepares your coffee? If you're a coffee drinker, and I am, that's is a wonderful sight in the morning...a smiling, happy, employee, ready to serve you a piping hot cup of coffee.
I don't buy coffee at Starbucks, Coffee Bean, or Peet's normally in the morning. I'm too cheap for the good stuff and lately with the way the economy has been fluctuating, I'll take the Fusion Coffee at 7-11 and serve it to myself. However, there are occasions when I do feel like a latte, cinnamon dolce latte, or just an americano and when I go to a coffee shop I'd like the person behind the counter to smile and greet me warmly. Just like a good cup of coffee.
Friday of last week, I went to my local coffee shop because most of the time the people are very friendly and the service is great! It's definitely a hipster joint with all the servers wearing offensive T-shirts, tattoos covering each arm, and probably a spec script in their backpacks. They're all very friendly and the environment is wonderful. I always look a bit out of place, because I wear a shirt and tie daily for my job, but no one ever gives me a hard time. It's very chill and very cool.
However on this particular morning there was a new employee who'd I'd never seen before. He seemed like an amiable young man, small in stature, Asian in descent, straight black hair, a slight lisp when he spoke, and if not gay; then at least on his way. Which personally I don't give a damn if someone is gay or not. I just want my coffee in the morning. He smiled at me as I approached the counter and I thought okay he seems nice.
"Can I take your order sir?", he said without a smile, and I could already sense some disdain in his voice.
"Can I just get a cup of coffee black, to go?", I answered and smiled, hoping he would reciprocate.
"What I'm sorry, did you say you just wanted a cup of coffee black?", and he said this with a slight attitude as if I'd insulted the place for ordering a plain cup of coffee.
" Yes, just a plain cup of coffee, black, to go.", I responded plainly like the coffee.
"Sir, look at all the wonderful coffees we have here, why would you just order a plain cup of coffee?", he said and the lisp became more pronounced as if he were on America's Next Top Model judging beautiful young girls. He looked at me as if I were an idiot for just getting a plain cup of coffee and I could swear he was pouting his lips as he spoke.
" I just like it plain. Sorry. I don't really want a latte or mochaccino today. Just plain coffee."
"You seem like that kind of guy. Just plain. Okay one plain cup of coffee coming up for the boring guy.", he said and walked over to the coffee dispenser and looked at me with disgust as he was pouring the coffee. He brought it back and handed it to me. "That'll be $1.95 Mr. Plain Black Coffee". He said loudly and with such contempt, that even the person next to me in line was slightly startled by his tone.
" Thanks for the coffee. Oh! And the attitude. Can I get my service next time without all the whipped cream and sprinkles?", and I let out a chuckle after I said it.
" What?", he said and he stopped what he was doing and put his hands on his hips. "What do you mean by that? Are you saying I'm gay?" And he said this loud enough to draw people's attention. As if he were looking for a fight.
I actually started to laugh, "What the hell does that have to do with coffee?"
"Whipped cream and sprinkles? What does that mean? Does that mean I'm gay?", he said it even louder this time.
By this time all the patrons in the place were looking at us. Me in my shirt and tie and him in his pink T-Shirt which read, "DON'T MAKE ME BITCH SLAP YOU!". It looked like a showdown over Proposition 8.
"I don't care if you are gay, just don't give me an attitude because I ordered a plain coffee. That's all", I said in a calm but loud tone.
" Oh because I'm gay, now I have an attitude?!", he shouts at me from behind the counter. The place is not very big and everyone has now stopped what they're doing and are looking at us. I could tell that my attire was not helping me gain support for my cause in this more liberal environment, so I quickly decided an exit was the best strategy. I took my coffee and turned to head towards the door, but not without a parting shot.
"You don't have an attitude because you're gay, you have an attitude because you're a little a#$hole. Thanks for the coffee." I said and held up my cup as I stepped near the doorway to leave.
" Screw you! You tight assed, closed minded, gay hater.", he again yelled from behind the counter.
" You wish!", I said then snapped my fingers, burst out laughing, and headed out the door with my coffee. I walked down the street, not looking back, and then looked in my cup to make sure he hadn't added anything "extra". I knew at that moment, I wouldn't be visiting that coffee shop anytime soon. Too bad, I loved the place.
I was slightly embarrassed by my behavior, but I hate when people give me a hard time when they're trying to sell me something I don't want. As if I'm an idiot for choosing what I expressly wanted. Now if he had suggested something different, or had asked what I was feeling like that morning; instead of insinuating I was boring like my coffee, I might have ordered something different.
Gay or straight, plain or cinnamon dolce latte, we're all the same and we all want it "our way". Oh and serve it to us with a smile.....not a attitude!
-M
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