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Friday, August 3, 2012

Doctor/Customer Profiles: Doctor Dickhead


How appropriate that I am making this post today, because I just left the office of a Doctor Dickhead a few minutes ago.  He had his head nurse call me with an urgent message, so I happen to be in the area and stopped by the office to see what was so urgent.  I asked to speak to either him or the nurse, and here was the conversation with the counter person, Robert:

"Yeah the doctor is busy right now.  So maybe you should just leave your card.", he said acting slightly put off.

" Robert, he had Shelly call me and she said that they needed to speak to me today, so I'm here.  They called me, I'm not coming in unannounced.  They're expecting me."

" Yeah, I don't feel comfortable bothering him when he's with a patient.", was the counter person Robert's reply.  Meaning, "I'm scared of him. More scared of him than I am of you."

" I understand that, but I'm only gonna be here another few minutes so could you please just knock on the door and see if I can talk to either one of them right away."

" Yeah no I don't wanna get in trouble.  Yeah you understand right?"

" Okay, I do understand.  But can you at least ask if they can see me now?  I'll only be downtown for a little while longer."

"Okay", he said and then disappeared behind a wall.  He came back a few minutes later, "The doctor wants to know if you can just wait a few minutes til he's done with this patient.  He said it won't be long."

I really think Robert went up to the room, knocked quietly on the door, and when no one answered just walked back and told me a line of bullshit.  How was I going to know if he actually asked the doctor anything?  I wouldn't be able to tell what Robert said because there was a wall blocking my view so he could have walked behind the wall, did a little dance, and stepped back out and told me a lie.

"Okay, I guess I'll wait.", I responded.  And I did wait.  I waited 40 minutes and then the nurse came out to meet me.

"Oh hi M.  Listen we're all out of the free samples you gave us.  The doctor has 2 patients he wants to give them to.  So do you have any freebies?"

" Uh, really?  That's all he wanted was some free samples?  You sounded urgent on my voicemail like I needed to take care of this today."

" Well you do.  It's Friday and we need the samples.  That's not urgent enough for you?"

Doctor Dickhead always has one member of his/her staff that is his/her right hand person.  They are just as grumpy as Doctor Dickhead and in some cases they make ludicrous demands.  Like asking for samples when they can just place a dang order for the product!

"Why don't you just order some of the product Shelly?  That would be nice, to get an order...for once."

"I'll order some after you give me the samples.", was her response, and it was a typical ploy to get free shit from me.  I wasn't buying this time.

"Tell you what.  I'll go down to my car, get our order form, and we can place an order today, and then I'll give you samples."

" The doctor doesn't want to spend money so just give me the samples.", she said very direct, as if she was giving me an order and we were in the military.

" The product is covered and the patient will get it the next day, so just place an order, it'll be easier and he won't have to spend any money."

"The doctor won't do that, and we need the samples now.  We're going to see the patients later."

" So you just want some freebies and that's all.  You're not going to order anything at all?"

" No."

" Yeah thanks but no thanks.  I'm not giving out any more samples unless you place an order."

"Okay then I guess you don't get an order.  Those were his instructions. No samples, no order. "

" No problem.  Sorry but we can't just keep giving out product and not receive even ONE order.  It seems like this has been going on for a long time now.  Sorry but we can't do it."

" Well than I guess you won't be getting the doctor's business at all.", she said and she was very irritated. "What kind of a sales rep are you anyway.  The other reps give out samples."

" Hey Shelly, I'm not getting any business right now!  So what's the difference?  And the difference between me and other reps is I can only give out so many samples before I get fired."

" Okay then I guess I'll call (Insert a competitor name here)"

"You do that.  And have a nice weekend.", I said and left the office.  I was mad that the doctor had made me wait, but then I was equally angry that they just wanted to leech off of me and my company.  Rude and cheap, that's definitely a Doctor Dickhead.

Here are a few other characteristics of a Doctor Dickhead type of person:


  • Impolite - They will throw your card in the garbage right in front of you.
  • Smart -  They are smart but they also let everyone know they are smart.
  • God Complex - They think they are repair men for God's work.  They can save you but no one else can do it.
  • Cheap - They want everything for free including your time
  • No Time...For You - They don't respect anyone, especially reps and including other doctors.
So how does a rep deal with a Doctor Dickhead?  - You don't!  I give these types of doctors a few months to correct their behavior and if they don't I cut bait.  Why should you suffer from dealing with this type of doctor when there are so many other opportunities out there to sell your product or service?    Be as polite as you can for as long as you can, but if they are treating you  poorly, and not giving you any business, then it's time to move on.  No person is worth the aggravation, especially a dickhead. 


Have a good weekend!

-M


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