I'm sure that many of you who use social media, have made a post, or two...or three in which your spelling or punctuation was not perfect. Yet it seems there is always some "friend" who immediately corrects your error(s) with such zeal that they almost seem oddly excited about their discovery. As if they're saying, "I'm smarter than you" or they make a pithy little joke along the same lines as James Thurber.
I do my best to make sure my grammar and spelling are in order, but there are occasions when the spell check on my computer misses something, or I simply forget to utilize it when writing. Well, there's no need to worry, because the Punctuation Police always come in to save the day...or ruin it. If you've never heard of the Punctuation Police before, or read about it online, it's because the organization doesn't publicly acknowledge its own existence. It is a secret organization comprised of overly zealous language teachers, and their students, who just can't let the inappropriate symbol, letter, or punctuation mark go uncorrected. If you make even the slightest error, the Punctuation Police will be there to auto correct your error. They claim to save lives because your message might be misunderstood, and could even be lethal? Seriously?
About 6 months ago, I was engaged in a "shootout" with one of its members because I apparently used an apostrophe incorrectly to represent the plural of CEO. The person was both a follower of my posts but also an online "friend", and the online verbal exchange I have outlined below:
Punctuation Police: "You can't use the term CEO's to represent the plural of that term. It should be CEOs, otherwise the apostrophe represents the possessive. Did the CEO own something? No! It's errors like this that frustrate readers."
SFTD: "I didn't realize I was using it incorrectly. Thank you for pointing this out. I'm sorry for the frustration but something tells me this isn't the only frustrating thing in you're life."
Punctuation Police: 'What is that supposed to mean? OMG! You are using the term "you're" incorrectly. It should be "your". Again, you must realize how annoying this is to readers. '
SFTD: "Lets talk more about this issue. Our you saying that my readers are getting annoyed by all the punctuation errors in my posts? Or is it just you whose annoyed?"
Punctuation Police: 'I'm sure that it's not just me. It's frustrating for everyone. Just look at your last message! Once again you used the term "lets" when you meant "let's", and the term "our" when you obviously meant "are", and "whose" when you meant "who's"!!! Please stop with the errors, I'm starting to get nauseous.'
SFTD: "I'm sure I am not doing it intentionally. But it seems as if you understand the meaning of what Im trying to convey despite the errors in grammar and punctuation."
Punctuation Police: "You did it again! I do understand the message in your posts but there are so many errors it makes the writing difficult for me to enjoy. You must see how these mistakes upset your audience."
SFTD: "I see that its upsetting you, but not anyone else....yet. Let it go. :) "
Punctuation Police: "It's 3 periods for a pause, not 4, and I hate that song! Maybe I can help you by proof reading every post before you publish them. Just message me with the content and I can correct all the errors."
SFTD: "Let it go, let it go! Cant hold it back any more."
Punctuation Police: "Stop! I hate that song and now your just messing with me!"
SFTD: 'I think you meant "you're", not "your". I understood what you meant though.'
Punctuation Police: "I hate you."
SFTD: "Mom?"
Punctuation Police: "Very funny, but I still hate you."
SFTD: "Dad?"
Punctuation Police: "I give up! You're hopeless."
SFTD: "Thank's for following!"
Punctuation Police: "You are pure evil."
At least I let them have the last word. It was the least I could due.
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