Sales Tips From QYoda

We will no longer offer sales tips from Nick Handy.  Unfortunately Nick was killed in a stampede of senior citizens at a flea market in Florida.  I was told they were offering  bright checkered pants, and polyester pant suits for just a dollar each. Apparently as the wave of seniors slowly rolled towards him, Nick didn't have time to evade the onslaught of motorized scooters headed his way.  He was run over multiple times and we will miss his wit, his voluminous sales knowledge, and his obvious lack of productivity.

However in his stead, we have hired international sales guru Qyoda to pass on the bits of sales knowledge which he learned from over 900 years of living.  We welcome Qyoda to the staff here at the Darkside, and here is his first tidbit of wisdom.

"Each obstacle presents an opportunity for a sale.  Unless that obstacle happens to be a large slug like alien named Jabba, then there's really no opportunity there, and you should just move on to the next prospect. "

How To Lose An Employee In Ten Months - Part Deux

I know that HR managers realize how much it cost to hire and train an employee, but I'm not sure that middle management or even upper management, grasps the concept of the costs involved in turning over a sales rep.  I was at a national sales meeting and the CEO stood up in front of the reps, wearing a polo shirt, khaki pants, and boat deck shoes; very business casual almost to the point of  beach casual.  And then he said, "If you're below quota then you either need to get your butt in gear, or you need to get your butt out of here."  Spoken like a true idiot who's never sold a thing in his life.  I think he thought it was funny, but no one was laughing at what he said, they were probably laughing at his outfit.  What moron wears Sperry Top-Siders to an annual meeting? I was looking around at some of the reps wondering if we were on the "Love Boat".  Where is Doc, Gopher, and Julie?

There was a major problem with his message.  Number one, this guy needed to get some fashion sense, or at least respect his employees enough to not look like he just got back from an America's Cup race.  And number two, he was forcing his employees to make a career decision which was going to have a huge effect on his bottom line. He had no clue as to the costs involved in turning over a rep, even an under performing rep. Well if you review the studies regarding employee turnover, the costs are astounding. Even I was surprised at how much money is lost.

According to a study by the Society For Human Resource Management conducted in 2008, it can cost a company as much as 60% of the employee;s annual salary to just replace that employee. Moreover, the associated costs of turnover, such as training, lost production, and lost revenue, is approximated at 90-200% or the former employee's annual salary.   The percentage is higher for "specialized" employees, and believe it or not people you are special.  So with this message, that CEO could have pushed out 10 reps with an annual salary of say $60,000 which might cost his company up to $900,000.   That's a lot of Sperry Top-Siders!

So this is just one example of how managers can lose an employee and the associated costs.  Here are a few more examples for poor managers to follow and good managers to avoid:

1. Play Favorites- Nothing upsets employees more than a manager who plays favorites.  And speaking from a management point of view it's hard not to play favorites.  Managers are drawn to people who perform and have an extreme distaste for employees who are not meeting their goals.  However, an effective boss is one who disregards the numbers and treats everyone the same.  Even I have been guilty of this and have lost employees.

Every manager is guilty of liking some employees more than others, and some like them a little too much.  I remember one manager who always hired these incredibly beautiful women to work with him.  They would have little to no experience in sales and yet he would bring them in, and they would sell.  I guess the customers were too busy staring at their breasts to look at the contracts they were signing.  His formula worked for a while, until some of his other reps started complaining that he was spending too much time doing ride alongs with his "spokesmodels".  He was doing ride alongs apparently, but not in the car, and eventually the two lovely ladies found out he was sleeping with each of them, and he was fired for sexual harassment.  That's an extreme example, but to be honest, one that I've seen played out at least a dozen times.  Guys, keep it in your pants.

2. Work Them To Death- Years and years ago we used to hire college grads and then work the hell out of them to see if they would be "management material".  I don't even know what that means, but judging from my experience I guess being "management material" involves being able to hold a cup of coffee the right way, type with 2 fingers on your computer, bark orders that make no sense, and displaying an innate ability to ignore employee requests.  So I guess most of these young people could be developed into "management material".

In order to help them on their career path, we would have them work 60 hours per week minimum. Why?  The company wanted to "thin the herd".  In other words, the college grads who weren't committed would eventually quit and the one's who stayed were the type of person we wanted to have working for us. Their efforts showed commitment, or perhaps, that they should be "committed" for putting up with all the crap we threw at them.  It's a formula that Enterprise Rent-A-Car still uses to this day.  It's the philosophy of "Churn'em and Burn'em".  Any of you that have ever worked for Enterprise know exactly where I'm coming from, and hopefully you've already left that place.

If you're a manager that wants to pair down your sales team, just start requiring them to do 10 calls per day and pretty soon, you won't have any reps left.  Good luck with that...

3. Promises, Promises, Promises - Supportive management is great for a new employee, especially a new rep, but as a leader you never make promises you can't keep.  It's just a bad idea.  New employees need to be helped along because most of the time,  they have no clue where to start.  I find it amusing that in health care, the first 4 weeks with many companies you are required to do "Home Study". Which means you lie around in your pj's and read clinical papers and you take tests.  Sometimes online, and sometimes not, but you really do nothing for 4 weeks, besides sit around the house and read.  It's boring as hell, and then suddenly, BOOM! You're out in the field trying to sell a product you only know from papers.

My first foray into health care, I asked my new boss when he was going to ride with me and he would make plans, and then cancel.  He did this to me 3 times, and finally I just called him and asked:

 "Seriously Jim, are you ever gonna ride with me?  I just started and I need a little help. You keep making promises and then breaking them.  What's the deal?"

His answer, "Yeah, you seem to be figuring it out on your own, so no I'm probably not gonna be able to ride with you.  I have other reps who aren't doing so well, and I need to get them up to speed.   You'll figure it out.  That's why I hired you."

"Wow. Uh...okay. Thanks for the support.", I responded.

" You're welcome.", he said.

" Fuck you.", I said,  but of course I had already hung up the phone.   I'm not a complete idiot.

If you want to lose an employee quickly and demotivate them, then just keep making promises and breaking them.  It's like any relationship, you have to follow through on your commitments.

4. Be Consistently, Inconsistent- Employees hate managers who are always changing the rules. Whether it's in relations to commissions, vacations, reimbursement, or anything.  People want to know what the rules are and they want management to follow them consistently.  Not change them every month, every 6 months, or every year.  Stability is what employees want in their company and especially in their sales team leader.

How many sales reps out there have received their quotas after the fiscal year has already started? So suddenly you went from being rep of the year in December to already being behind 20% in February because that's when you received your quota.  Companies that don't acknowledge that their reps need their quotas early so they can get started on next year, are missing out on lost revenue, and in turn they're just upsetting the sales rep.  If a company is going to have quotas then they need to consistently get them to the field in time for the reps to do something about it, not after the year has already started. By then, both the rep and his/her manager are already behind their goal. How motivating is that?

5. Create A Poor Work Environment - Some of you might be asking yourself, "What does this mean?"
A poor work environment does necessarily mean that you are working in a sweat shop where they won't allow you to go to the bathroom, or you're a victim of the slave trade.  A poor work environment can be created by just one lousy manager working for what might be a great company.

In my last year at a very well known uniform company, the new general manager, turned over 14 supervisors and managers in a little over a year. What's even more amazing, is that he took a well performing plant and was able to reduce the profit by 8%. and shrink the revenue.  Why? He created a poor work environment.

(I know that I keep citing personal references, but listen people I have no other examples but my own. If anyone would like to add comments feel free, but I can't promise I'll be nice in my response.)

I came in at the end of the fiscal year, and tried to explain to him how much turnover was costing the company, how disgruntled our employees were, and how we had to create a "friendlier" work environment for our people.  What do you think was his response?

As you're reading this dialogue, picture a short little man, who is balding, with gray hair, and sweating so profusely he has a towel on his desk to wipe his brow.  Now picture him inhaling a helium balloon and then speaking loudly at you, as if you were deaf.

"Who's talking about me?  Who was it?"
" Richard, I didn't say it was you.  I said we, as in WE have to create a better environment."
" Well who's complaining about us?  I need you to tell me who it is?"
" Why is that important?  The important thing is some people are not happy and we need to motivate them to get this plant back on track."
" Well it's important to me.  I need to know so I can get them out of here."
" You're still going to have a problem, even if we fire everyone, well especially if you fire everyone."
" Jim always taught me.  If someone isn't on board then there a cancer, and a cancer needs to be cut out."
" What? You're comparing our employees to cancer?  That's ridiculous.  Okay say it is a cancer, then let's use chemo therapy to treat it, not cut everybody."
" Are you undermining me? What have you been saying about me?"
" What in god's name are you talking about.  Richard we need to try and get the employees back on our side."
" Well who said there not on my side.  They may not be on your side, but they're on my side."
" Okay Richard.  I'll figure it out how to create a better work environment so the employees like me better.  I guess it's all my fault."
" Maybe it is.  I don't know why Jim brought you in here anyway.  Take care of that, that's what you're supposed to do. Isn't it?"
" Whatever." I said and got up to leave.
" Are you being insubordinate?", be squawked.  He was what people would call a "seagull manager". The kind who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and shits on everything.
" This isn't the army Richard, and the war is over.  I'm gonna go try and rework the numbers. "
" You do that.", he said and went back to two finger typing email responses.

    I was mortified.  He had no idea what the hell he was doing and here he was trying to lead a group of over 300 people.  He had created a work environment of fear, intimidation, and back stabbing. I was brought in to help him but he didn't want my help, he was afraid I was going to take his job.  I left after only 6 months, and he was fired immediately thereafter.  How appropriate that his name was Richard, because he truly was a Dick.


If you're a manager reading this please don't follow these examples, and if you're a rep, please call your manager on the carpet when they're not doing their job.  Have a great day selling!


-M  

How To Lose An Employee In Ten Weeks Or Less

I think this post is geared more towards sales managers, or managers in general, rather than employees. In my career I've been a customer service manager, a service manager, a sales manager, a branch manager, and even a general manager.  I've managed teams as small as 4 people and as big as 250 employees. One thing that I've learned is that I did well only because of my people, and I always did well.  That's the truth.   So I tried to hire the best people and then train them well so they could be successful and in turn I would be successful.  As a result both my professional and personal life improved, and I made life long friends in the process. 

However there are MANY, MANY, managers in the field who don't understand this concept.  They don't lead their employees, instead they manipulate them.  If you want to fail as a manager here are 5 things you can do to ensure your complete and utter failure as a leader and as a human being:

1.) Lie to your employees : Nothing is worse than a manager who is dishonest.  The foundation for every relationship is trust and if your employees don't trust you then they won't work hard for you.  I'm not saying you need to practice full disclosure but you can't be lying to your employees all the time.  I had one manager that would make a joke when I asked him a serious question because he couldn't handle telling the truth.  It was ridiculous and eventually he was fired but I couldn't understand why he had such a hard time being honest.  You wanna lose an employee early on, lie to them in the interview.  The minute they figure out you lied, then you've lost credibility and eventual you'll lose the employee.

2.) Mess with their money - I find it amusing that manager's don't get this concept.  If you hire someone at 40K then pay them 40K.  Don't tell them that the base is actually 38K but with commissions it will be well over 40K.  That's not what they were promised and it's not what they were expecting.  They were expecting a base of 40K and then the commissions.  In addition, don't offer them something in writing and then change it later on.  Like a car allowance, or phone reimbursement, or even a company car.  If you committed to them in writing then honor the damn piece of paper!  How much will it cost you to lose that employee?  A lot more than the nickel and dimes you're saving on phone bills. 

3.) Manage through intimidation - In the past, this was a common way for managers to get employees to do their jobs, but it doesn't work anymore because good employees just leave to find another job.  I know the economy is bad and there are a myriad of employees out there to chose from but why take a chance hiring someone else if you're not committed to their success?  Intimidating them is only going to cause resentment and eventually they're going to quit.  It's that simple.  Why would anyone stay in an abusive relationship when they don't need to?  A good employee will always be able to find a good job.

4.) Micro Management - "In business management, micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of his or her subordinates or employees. Micromanagement generally has a negative connotation." -Wikipedia

I remember going into an interview and telling the VP, "Do not micro manage me, cause if you do I can guarantee you I will quit.  I want to be successful or fail on my terms.  If you hire me, it's because you have confidence in my ability to get the job done, not because you have to look over my shoulder to see if I'm doing everything right."  Two years later, he was promoted, a new VP came in who tried to micro manage me, and I quit.  In my exit interview I told the HR person, they should fire that new VP he doesn't know how to lead people.  5 years later, and that moron is still in place.  Why?  He's best friends with the company president...politics.

5.) Have an open, but closed door policy - Every company I have ever worked with,  claims they have an "open door" policy when it comes to addressing employee concerns.  That is bullshit. I have had managers, good managers, who had open door policies and they were very successful.  However when a company says it has an "open door" to voice concerns and then the people who file through the open door are labeled a "whiner" or a "trouble maker", then that's no really an open door.  It's more like a swinging door.  One you would find in a kitchen, saloon, or a roach motel. 
"Employees check in but they don't check out."   Smart employees will pick up on a company that doesn't address people's concerns and they'll go work for one that does.

These are only 5 tips, but there are many more to come in future posts.  Follow the Darkside if you dare.

-M

Who The Hell Are You?



Disrespect is something I cannot tolerate from anybody, whether it's a clerk in a store, a person walking down the street glaring at me, a doctor not giving me the time of day, or the owner of a business blowing me off like he's/she's the president of the UN and he/she has a full schedule.  It's just improper behavior and it's not how I was raised. Think of all the times people are so focused on their little circle of influence that they ignore you, and won't even grant you the courtesy of a "hello".
My response to people who show a lack of respect, "Who the hell are you?"

Well, not in those exact words,but I find that if someone is disrespectful, that behavior needs to be addressed.  If not, they will never respect you and never pay attention to what you have to offer.  So here's a little trick that I use, when a doctor, business owner, nurse, janitor, or anyone is not polite.  I flip the situation on them.  In other words, I no longer act like a sales rep, but I propose that I am a potential customer.  Here'a a perfect example:

Last week, I was in a clinic talking the same old crap, to the same old grumpy lady in the front desk, and asking if I could speak to clinic manager.  Here's how the conversation went.

"Good morning Tina.  How are you today?"
"Yeah, yeah, what are you selling today?", she said with what look to me like a 2 day old beard.  I wasn't really sure what Tina was, but I was assuming by the name, she was a woman.
"You're always so cheerful in the morning Tina. Same stuff I was selling before. But I do need to speak to Sonia today."
"She's busy.", she said and just then Sonia walked by with a cup of coffee and waved at me.
"She doesn't look terribly busy can you check with her?"
"I can. But I told you she's busy.  What's this about?"she asked, while I tried to ignore the wart just above her eye.  It looked painfully large and menacing.
"I have a patient I want to refer to the clinic."
"What?" , she said and her face changed and all of the sudden the "shoe" was on the other foot.
"I said I have a patient I want to refer to the clinic.  An HBO patient."
"Really?" , she looked shocked.  Her face relaxed and her wart, which was once menacing, now looked like just another giant wart above a burly woman's eyebrow.
"Yes really." , I said very matter of factly.
"Wait a second, I'll see if she's busy.", she snapped and got up from behind her desk and went looking for the clinic manager.  Five minutes later I was sitting down with Sonia and discussing a patient I had ran into at a dialysis clinic with an ulcer that needed treating.  The clinic manager who had been nice but still had not thrown any business my way, was very appreciative. 
"I didn't know you went into those types of clinics.", she said,   We should pair up on some calls."
" For sure just so long as we're helping one another, I can bring you in and introduce you to my contacts.'
"Great!  Oh I think we have an order for you guys.  You work with Health___ right?"
" Yep."
It was really that simple.  Not all calls will go this way, but it was worth the effort.

    Keep in mind that you may be a sales rep, but there are times when you may just be that business, clinic, or counter person's next customer.  If you're having trouble with a particular account, try flipping roles with the prospect and you may earn the respect you deserve.  Have a good day selling!

-M

There's No Crying In Sales

I just got back from a regional meeting and boy are they ever fun! Actually, they are fun when the "meeting" part is over with, and you get to eat, drink, and have fun with your fellow reps, but other than that; those types of meetings are stressful.  Especially if you're behind your quota, which fortunately I'm not, they can be a nightmare for reps.  Let's face it, the way quotas are set in healthcare sales is truly fucked up.  I'm gonna say it, because when I first got into healthcare sales, I blew my numbers out of the water and the next thing I know, the company is DOUBLING my quota.  I already had the highest revenue in the region and they decided oh well he can DOUBLE that total next year.  What the fuck is wrong with people?  Oh yeah I did 1.5 million in sales, I can do 3 million easy.  That's right people my quota was $3 million dollars!  Since I had been doing so well I went to my boss for advice.'

"Jim, I think we have a problem with my quota."
"What's the problem?"
" It doubled? That's the problem.  I won't make any commissions next year."
" Yeah I noticed it was kind of high."
" Kind of high?  It's 3 million dollars Jim.  What the hell is that all about?  When I got to my territory it was wasn't even producing $800,000."
" I know and you did great this past year.  In 6 months you took that territory from 95th to 5th in the country.  Too bad you didn't start the year with us, you would have gone on the "Winners Circle" trip."

As an aside here, why is it that managers like to tell you what might have been? As if this is some type of encouragement or compliment?  It's pretty stupid in my opinion, and just pisses off the rep. I was dumbfounded by his response.
"Jim, is that supposed to make me fucking feel better?  I COULD HAVE gone on the trip if I had been with the company a year.  Oh that's awesome.  Thanks for the pat on the back."
"Heh watch the language.  Well I'm just saying you're doing great and we think you'll continue to do great."
"But I won't make any money."
" You can do it. You just need to focus on more capital sales."
" Why didn't they make the quota an average of the whole year?  It seems like they just took the last 3 months when I was killing it?"
" Well that's how we base the numbers.  The last 3 months."
" Well that's stupid. If you have a great last 3 months as a rep, you're screwed.  I shoulda slept through the winter like a bear."
" Yeah I don't know why they do that? It does seem a little unfair." , he said sounding as perplexed as me about the whole situation.  Keep in mind, this man had worked in healthcare for 25 years.
" That's your answer? Listen Jim, this affects you as well.  The region did well so your quota has to be really high too.  Is there any chance we can have them adjusted?"
" No chance.  I've worked in this business a lot and the only time they get adjusted is when the company is paying reps TOO much money."
" Well that's a sound business philosophy.  Screw the people bringing in the business.  Thanks for the pep talk Jim.  I feel so much better."
" Any time.  Call me if you need anything."
I didn't even respond.  I just laughed and then said, "Yeah. Okay."

    So in short, if you do extremely well one year, you're screwed for the next, which leads us to the regional meeting.  This is when the senior management comes in and either applauds your efforts or tells your manager as they are leaving, "Fire these poor bastards.  They suck".  Which is not what any manager or rep wants to hear.  Primarily, because if you're a manager, and you need to be told to fire a rep, then you won't be a manager for much longer.  And secondly, because they make all the sales reps do presentations on the "State Of The Territory", and what the rep's plans are for improvement, and if the senior manager doesn't like the presentation, or the rep..."sayonara, adios, chao, and adieu" to that underperforming rep.  No stress at all. Right?

   Each of us was required to do a presentation and then there was a "question and answer" session at the end, but usually it occurred while you were in the middle of your presentation.  I put them in quotes because it wasn't really questions and answers but more like interrogation or adulation. Questions were asked to either tear a rep down or build them up.  There was very little room for in between.  The questions are listed below with their actual meaning listed to the right:

Questions for sales reps who were below quota

"How do you manage your time?"                    "What the hell are you doing out there? Nothing obviously."
"What are your plans to improve?"                   "How are you going to keep this ship from sinking you loser?"
"What's preventing you from hitting quota?"    "You're so fired, but I have to ask this question."
"What's your biggest obstacle?"                       "Besides the obvious, why are you so shitty at this job?"
"How many calls do you make a day?"           "I know you're not working but again I have to ask this."
"Is your day planned geographically?"            "Do you drive around all day and hope a patient hits your car?"
"What time table do you have for improvement?"     "When you fail, on what day can I expect to fire you?"

Questions for sales reps who were above quota

"What do you think has made you successful?"        "Tell these idiots how it's done.  Impart some wisdom."
"What are you doing differently this year?"            "What did you do this year to keep from getting fired?"
"Who do you call on for each product line?"          "I have no idea what you do or where you go, so enlighten me?"
"What marketing pieces did you use this year?"      "I've never looked at our marketing pieces. Can you show me one?"
"What would you tell a rep who's behind quota?"      "I love you and I would sleep with you if it wasn't against policy."
" What do you plan to do with all your commissions?"      "Where are you taking me to dinner for being so nice to you?"


     During one of the presenations, a rep was being grilled by a senior VP, and she broke down and started to cry.  I almost started to chuckle, because I thought to myself:

 "There's no way they are gonna let her slide because she's crying.  There's no crying in sales! She is just making it worse.  She'll probably be fired right after this meeting."

    Remarkably, her tears worked!  I was shocked. She was given sympathy by both her manager and the senior VP.  Everyone was sighing and consoling her and asking her if there was anything they could do to help her achieve her goals.  A few well placed tears and this woman was getting off without even a hint of even constructive criticism.  Meanwhile, the reps that followed her were grilled more than a burnt ribeye steak.  They were made to feel like shit, rather than given sound advice on how to improve their situation.  I sat and watched as each rep presented and was soundly ridiculed for their performance, their dress, and even their demeanor.  It was appalling and frightening at the same time.  I was befuddled by how easily senior management had been manipulated. 

 I sat there dumbfounded, completely shocked by the strange turn of events., until someone shook me and said, "Okay M, it's your turn to present."

I broke from my reverie, stood up, and as I started speaking I felt my eyes welling up with tears...

-M









   

  .

Que Pasa? The Language Barrier

I was married to a woman for 9 years who spoke fluent Spanish, and worked in a school district where it was necessary to be bilingual in order to teach her students.  She was about as fair haired and light skinned as you can get, but she was fluent.  So how much Spanish did I learn being married to this wonderful woman for 9 years?   Poquito.  If you do not write or speak Spanish that translates to "a little bit".  I even tried at one point to speak nothing but Spanish in our house for a period of 2 weeks, hoping I could force myself to learn the language,  but by Friday of the second week, I wanted to strangle her for not speaking to me in English.  As a result, my Spanish comprehension is minimal, and to state that I "habla espanol" is kind of a joke.  I understand much, but speak very little. 

Which leads me to a series of luncheons which I have to give for a strictly Spanish speaking staff, in a very Latin part of Los Angeles.  I am not equipped to handle this task, no matter how funny I think I am.  It is true that humor can be a universal language, but that's only if you're a slapstick comedian, and not a health care rep trying to convey the advantages of your product.  So starting last week, I visited 4 different clinics all dedicated to the treatment of primarily Hispanic/Latin patients.  In addition,  I was to assist the clinical educator on the nature of our products, what we could do for the patients,  and how to order certain medical supplies through my company.  And all of this presentation they wanted in Spanish because my predecessor had been bilingual, and they wanted to keep their service level "status quo". 

The educator was very nice and offered to translate, but she wanted me to read the presentation in Spanish, and see how the patients and staff would respond.  She felt it would bring me closer to the patients and secure more orders as a result.  Consequently, I found a Spanish presentation, took it home, and practiced speaking and pronouncing the words correctly for an audience of one.  I got really good at it over a the course of a few hours, and by the time I went to bed, I felt that I had practically mastered the language, or at least the sounds of the language.  I think the two margaritas helped with my pronunciation, but I could not be too sure, since after two margaritas much judgment was slightly impaired.

The next day, I was set to present in front of 20 patients, along with a few doctors and a few nurses.  I figured all I had to do was read and then let the educator take over if there were any preguntas/questions.  I started by introducing myself:

"Mucho gusto seniores et senoritas. Me llamo es M.  Si traballo es ________Healthcare."

I heard a few snickers, so I assumed my accent must have been really bad, or my diction.  Yet I forged ahead, despite their laughter. 

"Bueno, bueno.  Hoy estoy aqui, porque tengo incontinencia. " I said and the snickering started again, and there were even a few laughs.

"Cuanto tiempo?", an older man asked in the front row.  I assumed he was talking about the length of the presentation so I answered in Spanish.

"Aproximadamente una hora", which means about one hour.  I remembered that from one of my old Spanish classes and at this point, I was feeling quite comfortable with my Spanish.  It was all coming back to me.

"El bano es abajos" he said and everyone started laughing and I assumed he meant the bathroom, so I responded accordingly.

" Oh. Gracias, gracias, senior.  Esta bien.  Yo ya fuil al bano" And they were still laughing.  I believed I had told him that I already knew where the bathroom was located and I didn't need to use it at the moment.

"En los pantalones?" he said and made a gesture towards my pants, and he smiled.

I thought he was referring to the style of my pants which he liked, but I didn't know how to respond so I just said, "Si, si."  And when I did, the whole room started laughing, including the nurses and the educator.  I was embarrassed so I tried to pull the educator aside.  In the meantime the whole room was making comments  in Spanish and laughing.

"Why is everyone laughing so hard?", I asked her.

"It's your Spanish.  It's funny.", she answered.

" Well that's good isn't it?  At least there laughing right?"

" Do you even know what you said just now?", she asked and she was chuckling to herself.

" Yeah.  I said I was here to talk about incontinence and then that old man asked me how long and I said an hour, and then he asked if I'd been to the bathroom. Which I responded no.  I didn't get the comment about my pants though."

She burst out laughing again, and at this point I was perplexed, so I asked, "My Spanish is not that good, so what exactly did I say?"

She said, "First of all you said 'I have incontinence', and when he asked you how long, you said about an hour.  Then when he said the bathroom is downstairs and  you told him you had already gone to the bathroom." and then she started laughing again and was trying to stop but couldn't hold back the laughter.

"What else?", I said, a little annoyed by the whole situation.

"In your pants.  You said you went to the bathroom in your pants." , she said and laughed out loud and so did everyone else.

My faced turned red and I was thoroughly embarrassed, " I thought it sounded good."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "It did,.  It did. Good speaking, but poor translation."

"Well, I might as well have peed in my pants now.  Where's those diaper samples?", I said and then we all started laughing together.  The older man grabbed a diaper sample and threw it at me and everyone began cracking up; myself included.  

Lesson learned.  Don't let your message get lost in the translation.  No matter who your selling to or what language you're speaking.  Have a great day selling!

-M

"Oh I Forgot We Had An Appointment"

Last week,  I had an appointment set,which had been rescheduled twice, and then the day before the meeting the decision maker sent an email wanting to cancel....AGAIN. WTF? I had a VP flying in for the meeting, and two other sales reps because this was a fairly large account, but they still insisted on cancelling.

In other words, the decision maker was saying to me:

"You're not important enough to meet with me. And you're so insignificant I don't think it's even rude to send you a message at the last second cancelling. Plus I don't care if your VP is flying in to town, and this makes you look bad.  My time is much more important than yours...loser! Oh and I kicked your dog when you weren't looking, and she may die from head trauma."

Okay, maybe I dramatized the part about kicking my dog, but they might as well have kicked me in the teeth.  I can't understand how people can think that it's okay to cancel a meeting in which you have specified in emails that people are flying in to attend.  I was so perturbed I called the decision maker's executive assistant.

"Hello Tracy, this is M.  I just got the email from you that Denise wants to cancel our meeting tomorrow."

"Oh yeah M.  She's sorry but she has some stuff she's really busy with here and it needs to be addressed.  Sorry about that...would you like to reschedule?"

" She is aware my VP is flying in to town specifically for this meeting right?"

" What? I don't think she was aware of that.  Was that in your email?", she obviously had not read my emails even though I copied her in on each and every one.

" Yes it was.  It's been in the last few emails.  I understand she's very busy, it's just I'm not sure we're going to have this opportunity again so it would be great if we could meet tomorrow. Even if it's for just a few minutes."  In other words, I was basically implying that I was pissed off, and this simply was not professional.  I think she got the message.

"Oh wow!  Uh yeah, let me talk to her and I'll call you right back.", she sounded a bit flustered but not angry.  I was still a bit perturbed.  How can people be so inconsiderate?  Well it's simple.  In reality, we are not a resource to them, or they would never cancel a meeting.  Once I get to the point where people want to see me on a regular basis then I know that I've done my job.  Until then, I'm just like any other rep pushing product.

In twenty minutes Tracy called me back. "Uh, so sorry M.  She said that she didn't read all of the emails and that if you have people flying in to meet with her, then she would be happy to sit down with all of you for an hour.  What time was the meeting again?"

"That's great.  Thank you so much Tracy.  It'll be a luncheon at 12.  Shouldn't take too long.  Be in and out in an hour."

I suppose I was more of a resource to the account than I suspected, or maybe they were just tired of me annoying them with phone calls and emails.  Either way,  I'll take the appointment as opposed to throwing a brick through the glass doors of their office which was my alternative plan. 

"You get more from a bear with honey than you do with a brick."  Isn't that the quote?  Or something like that?  Keep in mind that your time is just as important as the client, prospect or customer, and if they cancel and you think that it's an unreasonable request; let them know they're in the wrong.  It will earn you a measure of respect, and let the person know it's unprofessional.  Sales people have feelings too!

Have a great day selling!

-M